On Friday April 23 1993 Little Joe Cartwright said during breakfast, “You are not eating at home this afternoon but I treat you to a delicious lunch.”
“At McDonald’s for sure?”, asked his older brother Hoss.
He and his older brother Adam laughed. But their father Ben also found it a funny question.
The sister-in-law of Joe and Hoss said, “Kentucky Fried Chicken is open too so maybe you go and have lunch there.”
Again there was laughter by 4 persons but not by Joe.
“Perhaps Mitch wants to go to Burger King”, Adam said with a wink at his wife Mary.
“We are not going to those joints. I have reserved a table for 5 at 1 o’clock in The Butchered Cow”, Joe reacted fierce.
“The Butchered Cow? Wow. That is a nice expensive joint”, said Hoss.
“I go along. You Hoss?”, asked Ben.
“Sure do”, answered Hoss.
“Joe, I know that you mean well but Mary and I stay at home with Mitch. It is already such a hassle to go away with a little one like him. And when he is a chic joint… Mitch is a Cartwright after all too”, Adam said seriously.
“I understand”, answered his youngest brother.
After breakfast Ben, Hoss and Joe went to work outside the house and Adam started with the administration. But not for long because when Mary came downstairs with their 4 month old son Mitch the eldest Cartwright boy totally forgot the administration. Mitch was a quiet baby who never cried but laughed all day through. Everybody at the Ponderosa was crazy about him.
By 11 o’clock Ben, Hoss and Joe came home to get changed for the lunch. Quickly Adam put his son in the playpen and continued with his work. Mary was busy in the kitchen where she assisted the Chinese cook Hop Sing. Not much later Ben, Hoss and Joe had disappeared again. Hop Sing had prepared a delicious lunch for Adam and Mary.
Arrived at the restaurant the Cartwrights got their reserved table.
“Pa, what do you take?”, asked Hoss.
“Hoss, you just take a kids menu. That is expensive enough”, reacted Joe.
“If there is someone who needs a kids menu, then it is you Little Joe! You happen to be six years younger than me”, answered Hoss.
Ben said laughing, “I take a steak, potatoes and salad.”
“Do for me a steak XXXL, potatoes and spinach. For me no rabbit food”, said Hoss.
Joe called a waiter and said, “Please 2 times steak, potatoes with salad. And 1 times steak XXXL, potatoes with spinach.”
“And what do the gentlemen want for a drink?”, asked the waiter.
“For me a beer”, said Ben.
“I take a liter of beer”, was het answer of Hoss.
“And for me also a usual beer”, said Joe.
The waiter wrote everything down and disappeared again to the kitchen. Joe looked at the menu how much the steak XXXL cost and almost fainted when he saw the amount.
“Hoss Cartwright! Are you in your right mind to take that steak?”, Joe asked indignant.
Hoss looked how much it cost and said careless, “I do get taken out to lunch, don’t I? Then I take what I feel like having.”
Joe looked at his father for support but Ben said, “Hoss is right. You take us out to lunch so the bill is for you.”
Joe looked perplexed ahead of him. He was once again in trouble but it would get worse for the young Cartwright.
At home Mary saw on the salon table a black wallet lying.
“Adam, isn’t that the wallet of Joe?”, she asked amazed.
Adam came from behind his desk and walked to the living room. He got the wallet and looked inside it. Then he broke down into laughter.
“Don’t say that Joe as forgotten his wallet?”, asked Mary.
Adam nodded laughing. Mary began to laugh as well.
“That will become an expensive lunch for Joe because I dare to bet that pa has no money with him and Hoss takes the mist expensive food. If it was only to pester Joe”, Adam said laughing.
“And Hoss also has no money with him either”, Mary remarked.
Adam shook of no. Hop Sing came in and heard the laughter.
“Pa and Hoss are out to lunch on cost of Joe but sir has forgotten to take his filled wallet along”, Adam explained.
Of course the cook found that funny too.
In Virginia City the Cartwrights enjoyed their lunch and to make the disaster and anger bigger for Joe Hoss took a super big sundae and Ben a cappuccino special for dessert.
When everything was inside the waiter came to Joe and he said solemnly, “Mr Cartwright, the bill.”
Joe got the receipt, checked it and got a fit.
“Pa, can you pay it in advance?”, Joe asked shy.
Ben checked the bill and pointed then his look at the youngest Cartwright.
“Joseph, don’t say that you have forgotten to take your money with you?”, asked the rancher worried and careful at the same time.
Joe nodded shy. Hoss couldn’t stop laughing anymore.
“Well Little Joe, you know what that means. Go fetch the towel in the kitchen”, he said screamed of laughter.
Ben knew enough and asked, “Hoss, are you coming back to work again?”
Hoss nodded and went along with his father, leaving Joe alone behind.
The waiter came and asked, “Mr Cartwright, do you have a problem?”
“I am sorry but I have no money with me and my cash point card is at home too. Can I have it written down?”, Joe asked carefully.
“We don’t do that but you do come with me”, said the waiter.
‘Fortunately it will be alright’, thought Joe. He got brought to the kitchen.
“You can’t pay your bill of $ 100 dollar so then you may do the dishes. Have fun”, said the waiter.
With reluctance Joe went to work and just far after closing time he had paid his bill. Driving home the young Cartwright resolved himself to never take his family out to dinner again.