RULES OF ETIQUETTE
Ben Cartwright was going to get a visit from an old acquaintance Lydia Simpson. She was very fond of good and neat behavior and kept herself to all rules of etiquette. Lydia knew that Ben had a big ranch and lived there too with his 3 sons (Adam, Hoss and Joe). That was one of the reasons to visit the Cartwrights. Because there was no woman living with them she was thé person to teach the gentlemen the rules of etiquette. She had written that in a letter to Ben.
On the day that Ben had received the letter he said after supper, “I want that you stay seated for a moment because I have something else to announce.”
“That you love us very much?”, asked Pam.
She was the daughter of Adam and the half of twins. The other half was filled up by her brother Mitch. They were 11 years old.
“That is so but I didn’t mean that. Today I received a letter from an old acquaintance Lydia Simpson. She comes to stay here the day after tomorrow for 2 weeks”, said the rancher.
The brothers looked at each other worried.
Hoss asked for the security, “Pa, Miss Simpson is yet so crazy about those rules of etiquette, isn’t she?”
“She is that indeed, son. She is that indeed”, Ben answered sighing.
“What are rules of etiquette?”, asked Mitch.
“That are rules about how someone must behave”, answered Adam.
H realized now that he had to say something else because there could come a quick retort from his son at this answer.
“Pam and I don’t have to learn those because we know them already”, said Mitch.
He looked express at his uncles who sat at the other side of the table.
“Joe, sometimes I really can’t understand why our pa and older brother are so mad about the twins. Do you?”, asked Hoss.
“Me neither. They just like to embarrass us so eagerly”, was the answer of Joe.
Adam made it even worse by saying, “You don’t need my twins to be embarrassed because you make that quite clear yourselves.”
“Luckily we go to San Francisco on vacation for 3 weeks”, said Joe.
“And Mitch and I go with you for the fun”, reacted Pam.
Hoss and Joe looked at each other frightened.
“We have permission of daddy and grandpa”, said Mitch.
“I have cancelled your vacation. The reason for this is that I want to show Miss Simpson that you all have been raised nicely”, said Ben.
“Well, in that case we do what you want”, said Adam.
Two days later Lydia Simpson arrived at the Ponderosa. By way of precaution Adam had let the children put on neat clothes so that the twins could be making at least a good impression on the female guest. The oldest Cartwright boy knew how hearty his children were.
In their room he said then seriously, “Boys, Miss Simpson is very keen on good behavior. I know that you can speak neatly so try to think about that when she is here.”
“We do that”, said Pam.
But her brother said, “We will try to think about it.”
Adam nodded satisfied.
Ben was outside when Lydia came. She had a luxury carriage which was driven by herself. Lydia parked the carriage very neatly and got out. Ben walked to her.
“Miss Simpson, welcome to the Ponderosa”, he said hearty.
“Thank you Ben. Just say Lydia. We are about the same age. I really look forward to see your sons again. And to update some good manners to them of course too”, said Lydia.
“My sons already have very good manners and my 2 grandchildren too”, said Ben.
Lydia didn’t know what she heard when Ben was talking about his grandchildren.
“So you are already a grandpa? How nice. Of course you have 2 lovely granddaughters”, Lydia said delighted.
The rancher opened her eyes at once by saying, “Lydia, Adam is father of a son Mitch and a daughter Pam. Mitch is 5 minutes older than Pam.”
Lydia was clearly a bit disappointed to hear that except a granddaughter also a grandson was in the life of her host.
“Well, a boy also must learn all the rules of etiquette of life. So introduce me to the twins”, she said a moment later.
“Just come along. The hands will look after your luggage”, said Ben.
They walked to the ranch house and went inside. Just like his oldest son Ben was worried about how Mitch and Pam would react to the presence of Lydia Simpson.
In the ranch house Lydia got introduced to the twins. The couple behaved themselves very well to relief of the grownup Cartwrights. Lydia was satisfied about their behavior until she saw that Mitch wore a leg brace.
“Well sweet boy. How terrible that you must wear that leg brace”, said Lydia.
“Leg brace? Which leg brace?”, Mitch asked amazed.
Then he looked at the leg brace around his left under leg and the reaction was, “I don’t see my leg brace anymore. I have it since I was 4.”
Adam said, “It’s normal that Mitch is lame. He also has an adjusted saddle.”
“I ride with a normal saddle”, said Pam.
Lydia didn’t like this at all because she said, “A woman like you and me ride a horse in the amazons seat. I will teach you that during my stay here.”
“I can already ride a horse so you don’t have to teach me that anymore”, reacted Pam.
She looked at her father for support which Adam did give too.
“Miss Simpson, we live at a ranch and there is riding in an amazons seat unfitted and besides dangerous. The children can ride very well horse with their own saddle”, said Adam.
Lydia swallowed her words to keep the sweet peace. Then the shepherd dog of the Cartwright family came to her.
“That is our dog Cody”, said Hoss.
Cody gave a paw which Lydia accepted with reluctance. The twins and Cody went to play outside quite soon so that the grownups were alone. Hoss and Joe went to work.
“Pa, we must go to Virginia City this afternoon. Hoss and Joe work so they can’t babysit the twins”, said Adam.
“Lydia, would you like to babysit the children?”, Ben asked then.
“Of course I do that. Glad to do that even”, answered Lydia.
“I will tell them”, said Adam.
He got up and went outside.
When Mitch and Pam heard who was going to babysit them Mitch asked, “What have we done wrong for goodness sake?”
“Nothing but I have no babysitter for you. Grandpa and I must go to Virginia City this afternoon. And your uncles are working for a change”, said Adam.
Mitch and Pam agreed with reluctance.
That afternoon Lydia was alone with the twins for a while. She addressed them with their full 1st name.
“Miss Simpson, why do you address Pam and me with our full 1st name? that only happens when we have done something terrible”, said Mitch.
“Well Mitchell, I do that because I find those full names sounding better. Your parents have given your those names not for nothing”, Lydia explained.
Mitch and Pam looked at each other for a second and then Pam said, “Our parents weren’t married when we were born. Besides we got separated right after our birth. I stayed with mama and Mitch went to daddy.”
“Daddy met mama again when Pam and I were 7. Pam returned to us just after our 10th birthday. A month later mama got murdered by her brother”, told Mitch.
Of course Lydia was shocked by this news.
She shook her head and said, “Poor little children.”
Then Mitch said, “With Christmas we always get double presents. For Christmas and for our birthday. And the Christmas dinner is pancakes.”
“That does not belong to the etiquette! Everyone eats turkey with Christmas and not pancakes!”, Lydia said strict.
“We always may choose what we eat then in the evening and that is standard pancakes”, reacted Pam.
“I can notice very well that your father must raise you alone because good manners are far to fetch with you! I will talk to him about it. In case of necessary I take you with me to teach you all the rules of etiquette”, said Lydia.
Now Mitch and Pam looked at each other frightened.
“We stay here and really aren’t going with you. You can forget it with your rules of labels”, said Mitch.
He went upstairs to get a ball and a baseball glove for himself and his sister.
When he was downstairs again he asked, “Pam, are you coming outside to throw a ball with Cody?”
“I go with you”, she answered.
“No Pamela, you are not going to play a rough game with your brother. I will teach you everything what a future married woman needs to know”, said Lydia.
“Miss Simpson, when I get married I just keep on living here at the Ponderosa with my husband. He just works here too. Or must I do the housekeeping and look after the children?”, reacted Pam.
“That are your chores then! The man works hard to provide for you and only interferes with the child when it has been naughty”, said Lydia.
“Our parents have taught us that you need a man and a woman for a child and that they must look after it together. Or have you forgotten that?”, asked Mitch.
“What are you brutal and unmannered!”, said Lydia.
That was the sign that the twins could go outside quickly. They did that too. Ben just came inside when the children ran outside. He and Adam were home again.
“Ben, I must confess that I’m very disappointed in how your son has raised his children. They are rude and unmannered”, said Lydia.
She told about their discussion.
“I hear from almost nobody complaints about the twins. They are real Cartwrights and let that notice often too. They do mean it well anyway”, said Ben.
“I have my doubts. The children told that here Christmas dinner is pancakes. That is not neat and does not fit in with Christmas”, answered Lydia.
“The twins are having their birthday on Christmas Day and then it’s up to them to choose what they want to eat in the evening”, said the rancher.
“I don’t think that. Maybe, no, it is a very good plan of mine to take the children with me to my house and to teach them all the rules of etiquette. Here they get influenced by only cowboys and that is not good for their personality”, spoke Lydia.
“I only have something to say about the twins when their father is away for business. But seeing as Adam is here he must decide about that”, answered the rancher.
He kept silent for a moment and said then, “I know for sure that Adam will disagree with your plan.”
“I had heard that the Cartwrights were so hospitable. Well, I don’t notice anything about that at all. I leave at once and you will never see me again!”, snapped Lydia.
She got up and rushed outside. Adam and the twins saw her leaving and were pleased somehow.
Lydia said insulted to Adam, “I hope and pray that you will get a whole lot of problems with your children. Good day!”
A moment later she was gone for good to big relief of the Cartwrights. But Adam knew that he was raising his children good, nicely and polite. That was good enough for Ben.