THE SMART ALEC

On a nice day Ben Cartwright got new leasers for one of the houses which stood on his spread for lease. His grandchildren Mitch and Pam played with their shepherd dog Cody under the supervision of their father Adam when a horse and wagon stopped.

“Is this the residential of Benjamin Cartwright?”, asked Mark Coogan.

Adam and the twins looked at each other questionable.

Finally Adam asked, “Yes. I am his eldest son Adam and these are my children Mitch and Pam. Why do you must see my pa?”

“I am Mark Coogan. This is my wife Kelly and our son Bill. Your father has a lease house and a piece of land for us”, answered Mark.

“Just come on through then”, Adam said with an inviting gesture.

Mark jumped off the wagon and helped Kelly and Bill on the ground.

“You go play with those children. Father and mother must discuss something with Mr Cartwright”, Kelly said to her son.

She pushed him to the twins and Cody. Here after the grownups went into the ranch house.

Bill walked up to the twins and asked very polite and neat, “Good day. I am Bill Coogan. Who are you?”

“I am Mitch Cartwright and that is my twin sister Pam. And this dog is called Cody. Can you catch and throw?”, asked Mitch.

“I have never done that. How does it go then?”, asked Bill.

Mitch wanted to place a sharp remark but decided not to do it anyway.

“Easy. I throw the ball to you and you catch it. Or you try to catch it. Then you throw it over to Mitch and he catches it with his glove”, Pam explained.

“I better not do it. Maybe I injure myself”, said Bill.

“See for yourself. Where do you come from?”, Mitch asked plying with a ball and glove like usual.

“We have travelled from Houston to here to get new experience of life. I am 10 years old. Which age do you have now?”, asked the young Coogan.

The twins stood looking a bit weird about the language Bill was speaking.

Finally Mitch said, “We are ten years old. But on Christmas day we always get more presents than the others.”

“That’s impossible! Santa gives everyone the same amount of presents”, reacted Bill.

“Do you still believe in Santa? We don’t anymore. Besides, it’s our birthday on Christmas day”, answered Pam.

Now Bill had nothing to say anymore. He found the twins just a bunch of yokels who sometimes spoke with a broad accent.

Inside the ranch house Ben and Adam got a detailed acquainted with Mark and Kelly.

“You do live in a very beautiful house, Mr Cartwright. Built it yourself?”, asked Mark.

“Yes indeed. Together with my third wife Marie and 2 eldest sons Adam and Hoss”, answered Ben.

“How many sons do you have?”, asked Kelly.

“Three. After Hoss comes the youngest Joseph. I do have 2 grandchildren Mitch and Pam”, said the rancher.

“We only have Bill. I hope that he and the twins become good friends”, said Kelly.

Ben made up the contract and he and Mark both signed it. Meanwhile Kelly kept looking at Adam who noticed that but pretended like he didn’t’ see her. She wasn’t his type anyway. Finally Adam went outside where he children were having a heavy discussion about good achievements.

Bill said with his arms crossed, “A human being can only deliver good achievements if that one has a very good sense of thinking. I am one of the seldom people who may and can make use of that.”

Mitch gave as reaction, “That is big nonsense. I can hardly read and write but I am outstanding in baseball. Besides, I am very intelligent, Billy.”

“I am called Bill and not Billy! If you are so intelligent, why can you hardly read and write then?”, asked the little wise alec.

“Can I help it?”, asked Mitch.

“You are just a dirty pain in the neck. You probably stood at the front when the stuck up brains were passed out?”, asked Pam.

Bill was heavily insulted and it didn’t took a second or the boys were fighting.

Adam asked amazed, “What is the matter?”

Pam told everything that had been said.

“I do not wished to be called names like a dirty pain in the neck. I am not that!”, said Bill.

“No, you certainly ain’t that”, Mitch said dry.

Adam recognized the sarcastic tone in the voice of Mitch only far too well and went to his horse Sport.

“What am I then?”, Bill asked curious.

“You are a super dirty pain in the neck”, answered Pam.

Adam heard that and couldn’t stop laughing anymore. Luckily for the children Ben, Mark and Kelly just came outside.

“Are you coming Bill?”, asked Kelly.

“Yes mother. I join myself with you and father”, said her son.

The twins walked to their grandpa.

Mitch asked worried, “We don’t have to play with that lad anymore, do we?”

“Of me and your father not but his parents see you as the new friends for their son”, answered Ben.

He noticed that the twins and Bill totally didn’t like each other. Adam mounted on Sport.

“Why is daddy going with them? He will stay to live with us, won’t he?”, Pam asked worried.

“He really does keep on living here but Adam goes along to show them the lease house. You stay here”, said the rancher.

The children found it okay.

When the Coogan family and Adam had left the Ponderosa Mark said to Adam, “I don’t want to say much but your children don’t look like you at all qua character.”

“Do you happen to have comments about my children? Your son is much too wise for his age”, the eldest Cartwright boy reacted.

This felt wrong by Kelly and she reacted snappy, “We are more decent and civilized than you Cartwrights!”

“Why for goodness sake are you here then?”, Adam asked amazed.

“To get new life experiences. Besides the fresh air is good for our Bill”, reacted Kelly.

“Mitch and Pam are much too rough to converse with nicely. Besides Mitch claims that he is excellent in baseball. What a showoff”, said Bill.

“You ought to say that. Who is here still a little kid but talks like he is already 40 years old? Mitch is really excellent in baseball”, Adam answered quick-witted.

It was clear that Adam didn’t like Bill either.

After riding half an hour they had come at the lease house. The house wasn’t really big but a family could easily live in it.

“This is your lease house”, said Adam.

The Coogan family came of the covered wagon and thanked Adam for the guidance.

“Well, it was nothing. Service of the house”, he said to be home again as soon as possible.

He had promised to go fishing and swimming with the twins in a lake near home.

When Adam and the twins with Cody came at their regular fish and swim spot the children didn’t know how fast they had to be in the water. Since they had learned to swim Mitch and Pam did that almost every day. Adam liked swimming too but not as much as his children. He was more attracted to fishing so he could think in peace. Not only Adam and the twins had come to the lake. Hoss and Joe also had gotten that idea. It was their private swimming pool where no strangers were allowed to come.

During a rest break Adam told about the new leaseholders and their ‘sweet’ son.

“Billy is just a softy with a small glasses on his nose whereby he even looks more dumber than a dozen mules all together. I am really not going to play with him and neither is Pam. He even didn’t want to throw and catch with us because then he might injury himself”, Mitch said sarcastic.

He did that at quite a comical way where after the others laughed their heads off..

“Kids, nobody of us will force you to have to play with him. Not even grandpa”, Adam reassured his children being serious again.

“I know that because when you left with them he said that to us”, reacted Mitch.

The Cartwrights decided to leave the subject ‘SOFTY BILLY COOGAN’ rest and to go swimming again.

A few days later Kelly and Bill paid the Cartwrights an unexpected visit. At the yard it was deadly silent though.

“They are probably at work. We go home again”, said Kelly.

“Mitch and Pam shall be there for sure, won’t they?”, Bill asked hopeful.

He wanted to make the Cartwright twins once again well clear that he was the best in everything. At the moment that Kelly and Bill wanted to leave again Hoss and Mitch just came home.

They saw the visitors and the comment of Mitch was very quick-witted though, “There you have Mrs Coogan and the softy again.”

Hoss made it even worse by saying, “No Mitchy, you must say it correctly:, it is Mrs Odd and her son Softy.”

Kelly became angry and reacted, “My Bill can do everything much better than that dumb nephew of yours, plump lout!”

Kelly shouldn’t have said that because now Hoss became angry and he said groaning, “I would disappear from this yard quickly or else…..!”

Kelly and Bill left right away. Uncle and nephew watched them go but didn’t trust it.

In the evening Mark and his family came by again. The Cartwrights sat in the living room when the Coogan family got received by Coogan door the Chinese cook Hop Sing.

Bill pointed his attention straight at Pam and spoke, “I go to play a game of chess with you so that I am and remain the best!”

“I can’t play chess”, Pam said directly.

“I will play for you”, Adam said smiling.

“Alright. It doesn’t matter because I win anyway”, said Bill.

“Then we will throw to see who is the best in that”, Mitch said at that moment.

Now the young Coogan had to accept the challenge. The 2 challenges would take place the following morning at the yard of the Ponderosa.

After the departure of the visitors Ben said, “I wonder what is behind this. It won’t be much good.”

“Billy just must be put in his place”, reacted Mitch.

The others agreed with him. That could only happen by letting lose Bill on purpose. Adam had already planned to wipe the little wise alec off the table completely.

The next morning it was the day of the decisions. The Coogan family came around 10 o’clock.

“Alright, we go if your grandson and Adam win both challenges. And if Bill wins… No, I must phrase it well of course correctly, Bill wins and then he gets a daily visit from the twins as his servants”, said Mark.

Ben agreed with it because he already beforehand knew that his son and grandson would win.

After the coffee the throw contest began. On the fence Adam and Hoss had put 5 empty cans.

Mitch and Bill each got elk 5 balls to throw with. Bill went first. The first ball came halfway on the ground. Ball 2 a bit further. The third one flew over it. The same thing happened to the last 2 balls. Then it was the turn of Mitch. He threw purely all cans on the ground. Joe sat on the hay wagon and watched laughing with Ben and Hoss who stood against it. Pam sat with Cody by the hay wagon. The Cartwrights found it quite amusing. But Mark and Kelly didn’t share that opinion at all.

Bill said angry to Mitch, “You…you…you dirty nasty piece of work!”

“You don’t have to praise me so much. I do know for myself that I can throw enormously well”, the young Cartwright said dry.

Adam stood by and had to do very much trouble not to start laughing. But that also was for the other Cartwrights.

Then the chess game began. Bill was already insulted by his defeat from Mitch and now the young Coogan had to play against someone who hardly ever lost with chess. Bill was so nervous that he made a completely wrong move which cost him figurative the head. Adam made sure that the king of Bill couldn’t get anyway by pointing his black bishop, castle and queen at the white king.

“Checkmate!”, Adam said with a very sarcastic tone in his voice.

The second loss on 1 day was for Bill too much and he ran crying to his mother. Kelly took him loving full into her arms and comforted the boy with exaggerated mother love. The twins saw that and ran to their rooms.

“What is wrong with them now?”, Mark asked amazed.

“They have just lost their mother and every now and then it appears again. I assume that we can dissolve the contract?”, Ben asked on his turn.

Mark nodded. The men went inside and arranged the business in the office of Ben.

While that happened Adam went to talk to the children.

“Why does that softy has a mother and we don’t anymore?”, asked Mitch.

“Because she was killed by a disturbed minded person. I know that you miss her and I still her too. But I still care very much about you and the others here at the ranch too. The Coogan family goes away anyway and hopefully they don’t come back ever again. Hop Sing has the lunch ready now”, said Adam.

“Let’s go then or otherwise there is nothing left for us”, said Pam.

They had forgotten the hassle with wise alec Bill already. The children hoped never to meet a figure like Bill Coogan in their lives again and certainly not at the Ponderosa.