Coffee
Hoss Cartwright was one afternoon in Virginia City when he saw a poster hanging. He walked up to it and read what was on the poster. It was publicity for a coffee contest.
“I am going to enter on behalf of pa and my brothers”, Hoss said to himself.
He went to the office of sheriff Roy Coffee because there was the entry office established. Roy was also the chairman. When Hoss came in he saw the sheriff sitting behind the entry sign. The 2nd son of Ponderosa ranch owner Ben Cartwright had to do a lot of trouble not to start laughing.
“Hoss, what can I do for you?”, asked Roy.
Hoss recovered himself and said deadly serious, “Roy, I come to enter myself for the coffee contest.”
Roy entered him and said, “It costs 25 dollar to enter and only 1 family member may enter. It takes place at the Silver Dollar Saloon tomorrow evening. You must try to drink as much as cups of coffee in 2 hours time.”
“I can do that. What is the prize?”, asked Hoss.
“That remains a secret until after the contest”, answered Roy.
Hoss paid the entry fee and got to hear that the contest began at 19.00 hours.
When Hoss stood outside again he said to himself, “The coffee contest chairman is also called Coffee. What a scream.”
He grabbed his horse Chubb, mounted on and rode back home laughing loud. The more Hoss thought about the contest the louder he began to laugh. Hoss loud laugh sounded across the first so quiet prairie.
At the Ponderosa it was quiet. Ben Cartwright was reading the newspaper while his oldest and youngest son (Adam and Joe) were at work at the yard. Both brothers looked up when they heard their brother coming, still laughing loud. Adam and Joe looked at each other with a look of:“What is now the matter with that brother of ours?” Hoss stopped his horse and dismounted. He joined his brothers.
“Are you drunk or what?”, asked Joe.
“Not at all. Tomorrow evening I enter a coffee contest in Virginia City where by you must drink as much as possible cups of coffee in 2 hours time. But now comes the very funniest part of the contest: the chairman of the jury of the contest is nobody less than our loyal sheriff Roy Coffee”, Hoss said laughing.
It only lasted a few seconds until the loud laughs of
Adam and Joe was to be heard across the yard too. Ben heard the laughing too, became curious and went to look what was so funny. When he had everything he also began to laugh loud.
“I’m going to enter too”, said Joe.
He mounted on his horse Cochise and rode quickly to town.
“Joe won’t be able to join in that contest”, laughed Hoss.
“And why not?”, asked Ben.
“Only 1 person of the family may enter”, was the answer of his 2nd son.
Again there was laughter.
Joe arrived a bit later on in Virginia City and went to enter himself by the sheriff.
“Joe, I’m sorry but you may not enter the coffee contest. The rules say that only 1 person of the family may join.. Seeing Hoss is your brother you drop out”, said Roy.
“I understand. Hoss might have told me that”, said the youngest Cartwright brother.
“Probably your brother hasn’t told you that on purpose. Give your brothers and pa the regards from me”, said Roy.
Joe nodded and went away.
The next day lasted too long for Hoss but finally it became evening. He rode cheerful to town with the intension to win.
The contest took place at the Silver Dollar Saloon which for 1 evening was turned into a cozy coffee house. Of course the other Cartwrights were there too to support Hoss. For about 2 hours women were walking up and down with coffee until there were just 2 competitors left. That were Hoss and Thomas King.
“You another cup, Thomas?”, asked Evelyn.
She was his wife.
“Yes, nice one. And give my friend Hoss also another one”, said Thomas.
Evelyn poured in 2 cups where after Thomas gave up.
Hoss had another cup of coffee and said, “That was delicious coffee.”
“You have won and here is your prize”, said Roy.
He handed Hoss 2 kg coffee beans.
“Thanks Roy”, Hoss said while he received his prize.
Hoss got congratulated by everyone but went quickly to the toilet to lose a whole lot of liters coffee.
After the contest the Cartwrights rode home where their loyal cook Hop Sing waited for them.
“Welcome home Mr Cartwright. Hop Sing has a delicious surprise for Mr Hoss”, said the Chinese cook.
Hoss became curious and saw the cook coming with a big cup of coffee.
“Surprise for Mr Hoss”, said Hop Sing.
Hoss ran screaming to his room. Hop Sing looked amazed.
“Hop Sing, I am afraid that Hoss won’t be drinking coffee for the time being. Though he has won 2 kg coffee beans”, said Ben.
“Hop Sing tomorrow bake delicious coffee cake”, said the cook.
“That sounds delicious to me, Hop Sing. But now we are going to sleep”, said Ben.
Not much later everyone at the Ponderosa ranch was in a deep rest.