Different Ways of Parenting

張貼日期：May 23, 2016 1:13:32 PM

Aileen Hu

It is a widely-accepted theory that parents are children's first teachers. To discuss whether this theory is true or not is not what the essay aims at; meanwhile from this saying I can get an idea that parents play key roles in children's lives. What's more, different ways of parenting certainly would exert different effects on and determine children's futures.

The first type of parenting, which is also the most common type among Chinese parents, is STRICT. These parents think that only two strict parents can promise a good child. I have a friend, Dong, whose parents asked her to study all the time and limited her freedom in her leisure time at a very young age. She failed to make friends with someone she wanted to, failed to play the games she was interested in, failed to gain her rights to say "no" to parents. The result is she couldn't make any decision for herself. What’s worse, she gets used to obeying what her parents say and waiting for their making decisions for her.

COLD parenting is another type. Parents of this kind do not care about their children's needs and feelings at all. For many classmates in my junior high school, their parents didn't set rules about what time they should go back home or what kind of things they shouldn't do. They even didn’t come to parents' meeting at the end of the semester. The things they didn’t know are that their children always hang out in the streets after school, make bad friends with someone who teaches them smoking and swearing, and when they grow older, as far as I know, they tend to be undereducated and irresponsible for their work, spouses, and even their children.

The last type is COMBINED parenting who would give their children as much freedom as children ought to have, but there should be some limitations. That's the category my parents belong to. They're glad to give me freedom to do the things I really want to do, if I told them that in advance. In fact, sometimes things can be dangerous, such as playing with my little friends outside when I was young. Of course, they would worry about me, but instead of restraining me, they’d like to accompany me. Accordingly, since it is impossible for them to stay with me all the time as I grow up, they would give me some tips or warnings which are indeed helpful to me.

To be honest, I prefer the last type of parenting as it could foster a respectful relationship between parents and children. And I bet if more parents try to alter their attitudes from strict or cold to combined parenting, not only children, but parents would benefit a lot and gain more happiness from a positive relationship.