Bizarre Facts About Bird Penises

First of all, I found this on reputable science websites.  I encourage you to look it up for yourself.  Do research if you like.  Science is for everyone.

But quite frankly, some of these sound like something out of a Looney Tunes for adults only.

Because, supposedly, 97% of male birds (and that's 98.5% of birds overall) don't have a penis.

Supposedly, they impregnate each other by passing it from hole to hole.

Good God.  No wonder most birds mate for life.

They must have to try like a hundred times before it takes.

This by itself is bizarre enough.

I mean, the penis may be private, but it is such a huge part of most species' life cycle.

Without it, I mean, if the wind ain't right....

They must have to try like a hundred times before it takes.

And this just makes the next one just that much more bizarre.

For where I read that 97% of male birds don't have a penis, there was this thing about some ducks and geese having a penis up to 9 inches long.

Good God.

Okay, several things were going through my mind.

The first is: obviously this is the goose.

I mean, a goose is a pretty big bird.

Not a bird I would expect to have a penis as big as a bull's.

But a pretty big bird.

I look it up- nope.

It's the duck.

A 12-inch duck with a 9 inch penis.

Well, obviously he can't fly with that thing.

And sure enough, the male duck grows a new one every year.

Because obviously a 12-inch duck cannot fly with a penis as big as a bull's.

God, he must have to eat like a horse to grow that thing.

Obviously this duck lives in some very rich habitat.

Go check this out.

Don't trust my judgement.

This is just bizarre.

All the more so for coming from reputable science websites.

God clearly has a sense of humor.

Well, that's all!

God loves you!

I'm sure glad I don't have to cart around a penis that's as big as a bicycle!

Sincerely,

David S. Annderson

P.S. I wonder if this is like the claim that there were giant squid 60 feet long?  Giant squid have long tentacles that are like twice as long as the rest of the animal.

Stretch them out- the poor thing is dead, they probably can't survive the low water pressure at the surface- and it reaches 60 feet.

The main animal is like 18 feet long without the tentacles.

No, they are not the size of a humpback whale or a small ship.

They're not big enough to eat a bull elephant in one meal.

Perhaps it's like that.

Still bizarre.

P.P.S. Is it only that big erect?  If so, where is he getting the fluid to pump it up with?  The lake he's swimming on?  Certainly not from inside him!