If Merle Haggard Lyrics Were Truthful

Are we rolling downhill like a snowball headed for Hell?

With no kind of chance for the flag or the liberty bell?

Wish a Ford and a Chevy would still last ten years, like they should

Is the best of the free life behind us now?

Are the good times really over for good?

Wish that Coke was still Cocaine like back in the 19th Century

When the world was at war and only America's free

Before microwave ovens, when we all ate our leftovers cold

And a single guy lived out of food from the restaurants in town

What were we looking back at in that Merle Haggard song?

Looking back at the disasterous early Industrial era, the era of World Wars

In 1982, in the age of Steven Spielberg and Jim Henson?

In the middle of such a Golden Age as the poor Industrial world never had?

In the middle of the beautiful age of Star Trek and E.T.?

What did we think was so great about that early Industrial age, anyway?

America was a refuge!

We were the only country not going to Hell in 1915!

What, just because we were lucky

We want to go back there?

Let's embrace microwave ovens!

Let's not eat our leftovers cold!

Let's appreciate the good and beautiful things we have!

For the world is being reborn!

Sure, the process of rebirth can be messy

But the world is being reborn!

Let's embrace it and live!

Merle, we love you, but you were so wrong about 1982!

Let's embrace the rebirth!

God loves you!

Sincerely,

David S. Annderson

P. S. Yes, that is how Coca-Cola got its name- back in the 19th Century it was cocaine!  Be careful drinking cola when you go in your time machine- drink from the Middle Ages is fine, but the late 19th Century is different!

P.P.S. Here's how the rest of my version of the lyrics goes:

Stop rolling downhill like a snowball headed for Hell

Let's all try to be happy and all ring the Liberty Bell

Make a Ford and a Chevy that still lasts 10 years like they should

Cause the best of the free life is still yet to come, the good times ain't over for good!

Yes, that's right- that part is almost unchanged from Merle Haggard's original!  Let's remember the Liberty Bell if we can't ring it, let's take pride in our Fords and our Chevys and build them well (which we once again do!  The days of the Pinto are long past!), and the best of the free life is still yet to come!