The Worst Spielberg Movie?: Making the Story Comprehensible

I'm sorry.  I tried to like Saving Private Ryan.  I really did.

Maybe it was my fault, for coming in maybe a third of the way into the movie.

But that is my point exactly.

The first job of a filmmaker, or of any storyteller, is to make the story comprehensible, so you understand what is going on.

Or else there ain't shit that you're going to get out of a movie.

A good movie can be such a powerful experience.

But first you have to understand what is going on.

I have been through so many frustrating experiences with movies, with shmo filmmakers who aren't even f'ing trying to make the movie comprehensible, putting out this absolute garbage that you can't tell what is going on in the movie for your life.

I have been through a fair number of such experiences with movies like this where I saw them from the beginning, where I'm straining to figure out just what the heck is going on.  Not that many- but it happens.

And if you turn on the television halfway through a movie?  Good luck.     You miss the first 10 minutes of some movies, you can't figure out a thing.

But a Steven Spielberg movie?  A George Lucas movie?  That's different.

The greats, I can come into any scene at any point and understand just what is going on.

Star Wars.  The early Star Trek movies.  Lord of the Rings.

Above all, any Spielberg movie from when he was still good, like through Jurassic Park in 1993, just before the Nasty 90s broke Steven's poor creative heart.

This was Steven Spielberg.  The best of the best.  At least, before 1994.

Normally I can come into any Spielberg movie (before 1994, at least), into any point in the movie, and within two seconds easily understand everything that is going on.

And much of the story that happened before I came in as well.    This is what you learn in Storytelling preschool, not even Storytelling 101, and this was Steven Spielberg.  The best of the best.

He did those basics on such a rediculously high level.

But I come into this about maybe a third in, I suppose, and it is seemingly after the war, they are looking for Private Ryan.

The opening scene which is so brutal is great (I have seen it elsewhere), I can understand what is going on there.

But here, in the middle of the movie?

Normally I come into the middle of a Spielberg movie at any point, and I instantly understand what is happening.

Spielberg was just that good.

Of course, this is basics.

All the greats were just that good.

I could say the same about any movie in the original Star Wars trilogy, any of the two legendary Indiana Jones movies with the Biblical artifacts (the legendary ones), any George Lucas or Spielberg or Star Trek movie until Spielberg had his creative heart broken in the Nasty 90s following (or as he was making) Jurassic Park.

But here...

Well, it was clear coming in that the war was over and they were looking for Private Ryan.

They are obviously setting up for the re-creation of the battle in which Private Ryan was lost.

No battle plan discussed, no big speeches from a commanding officer, just the normal atmosphere of something like a quiet detective operation.

And then they go into re-creating the battle in which Private Ryan was lost

And in some awful nightmare it turns into an actual battle.

With actual people being killed.

WTF?!!

Steve, Jesus, you are so, so far off your game!

Making the movie comprehensible is the first job of the filmmaker, and you used to be so, so good at it!

This is the only time that I have even come in at any point in a Spielberg movie and not instantly understood everything that is going on.

Now, I know that this is probably a fine movie by normal standards, if you get to see it from the beginning.

But this is Steven Spielberg.  The legend.

People like George Lucas, Jim Henson, they are so, so good at making movies.  You can start a Jim Henson movie at any point and have no trouble figuring out what is going on.

And Steven Spielberg was the greatest of them all.

And this is the only time that I have come into any point in a Spielberg movie- or a George Lucas movie, or a Jim Henson movie- and not instantly understood everything that is going on.

God, and this is the awful shoddy effort that they gave him the oscars for?

They couldn't give him the oscars for his legendary stuff, like E.T. and Close Encounters, or Raiders of the lost Ark, but they gave it for this?

I mean, I know his heart is in the right place, but what point is it if you can't understand the movie?

It ain't communicating nothing!

I'm sorry.  I really am.  I wanted to love this movie.

Lincoln was far, far more comprehensible, and an incredible movie, although like Schindler's List, it was great but on no way close to the level of E.T., Close Encounters, and Indiana Jones.  Give me meaning and joy over despair any day.

If you really want to know what a storyteller can do, watch E.T. or Close Encounters of the Third Kind.  Or the original Star wars trilogy.  Or the second and third Star Trek movies, from 1982 and 1984.  Movies like that can change your life.

Sorry for the bad review, Steven!  I know that having your heart broken by the Nasty 90s hurts!

I am praying for you!

God loves you!

Sincerely,

David S. Annderson