Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy

One of the main reasons why most people feels incomplete/insecure is due to comparison.

Most people are always comparing themselves with others within their surroundings – and this might lead to unnecessary stress if you're not careful.

This problem has further worsened in recent years due to social media – because people are now comparing their lives with those of social media ‘influencers’ i.e. designer clothes, exotic cars, fancy penthouses, etc.

Nothing is wrong with all these things – but if you're not careful, you'll get yourself into massive debt just trying to live like them i.e. for the sake of just ‘fitting in'.

If you're constantly comparing yourself with others, you might spend your whole life trying to impress others just for the sake of validation.

And you might even realize that, all these materialistic things might not necessarily bring you ‘happiness' – but instead, they might just give you instant gratification/pleasure.

And that leads us to one of the most important things i.e. happiness.

Happiness (says Ashley) – should not be postponed for the future i.e. l will only be happy when l finally get that new car/house/designer piece.

Instead, happiness should be something that you design in the present moment.

This reminds me of this story;

A pedestrian saw a man riding a bike – and he said; ‘If l get one of these, l will be happy'.

Then when he finally got his own bike, he saw another man in a Honda – and he said; ‘If l get one of these cars, l will be happy'.

And when he finally got the Honda, he saw another man cruising in a Lambo – and he said; ‘damn, l will surely be happy if l get one of these'.

And guess what, he finally got the Lambo.

But then, he was now comparing himself with others who were better than him i.e. he saw a man with a private jet – and he said; ‘damn, l will be happy if l get my own jet'.

The moral of the story is that, as humans, we'll never be satisfied i.e. as long as we keep comparing ourselves with others.

The truth is, there'll always be someone who's doing better than you in any area of life.

You must know the difference between happiness and pleasure.

Most materialistic things brings pleasure – rather than happiness.

That's why there's a lot of rich people out there who owns a lot of materialistic things – but they're still miserable with their lives – because there's a void that can't be filled with materialistic things.

Can you consider yourself happy if you've all the finer things in life – but you’re in the death bed struggling from an incurable disease?

When you get some materialistic things, you'll enjoy them at first – but few days/weeks/months down the line, they wont bring you the same level of satisfaction as before.

For example, when you buy a Lambo, you might get maximum satisfaction during the first few weeks – but as time goes on, the level of satisfaction falls drastically – and the car will now be looking normal/basic to you.

And also, you'll start to strive for even better models – because you'll now see your current version as a ‘commodity’ (comparison trap).

Thus, before you buy something, you must clearly define whether that item brings you pleasure or happiness/fulfilment.

Pleasure is short lived i.e. it fades away with time.

But true happiness lasts forever because it makes you feel fulfilled as a human.

The key takeaway is that, don't do things for the sake of validation/fitting in the society (comparison).

Instead, do things that makes you feel fulfilled – not just doing things for the sake of impressing others.

Before you buy a fancy item, you should ask yourself this question;

‘Does this item make me happy or am l just buying it just to impress others?’

It's also important to compare yourself with the position that you were 6 months ago, 1 year ago, 5 years ago, etc.

That way, you can be able to track if you've made some progress with your life or not – because you’re in a race with no one but yourself!

Before l wrap up, l just want to point out that, if you're comparing for the sake of inspiration, then it might be a good thing.

But if you're not careful, you might end up in massive debt or even engaging in crime activities – in order to keep up with the Joneses.

Or in some cases, you might end up going to a witch doctor in order to seek ‘wealth generating charms’.

And by the way, if you go to seek riches from someone who lives in a ugly shrine, then you have mental issues as well!