Replaceable

I started at Amazon as a Program Manager (L4) and was able to launch a high visibility project after 6 months of joining. I was working 60-70 hours a week to make it happen and was burned out. On the other end, my manager was quite happy and put me for promotion, which went through. I became a PM 2 (L5) after a year. 

From there things went downhill. During the same meeting where my promotion was announced, my manager was telling me I was not doing enough, not thinking big and long term. I was apparently supposed to give up my personal life and take on the world to meet the expectation of a L5 at Amazon. 

During year 2, I used my learning from year 1 and refused to work more than 40 hours per week. I did not have any specific mission assigned to me. At Amazon, you have to find yourself something to do – hopefully it will be high visibility so you can survive the politics. After 3 months, I landed another high visibility project that will be keeping me busy for the next 6 months – I was now safe during that time. What I realize too late is that nobody wanted to take on this project because the work was massive. I was the only resource assigned to it, and it was not enough. In addition, my manager assigned minor projects to me during that time. I made mistakes here and there but always fixed them within 24 hours. I thought I was doing pretty well. What I did not know is that my manager was listing all those errors as well as their impacts without mentioning the way I fixed them. 

I got a new manager 4 months into the project. This one was a shark. No emotions, all politics – He has been with Amazon for over 5 years and knew how to play the game by heart. He became a L7 at the age of 33). He wanted to get rid of someone in our team. That was his main goal for the first 6 months. He was asking everyone in my team during 1-on-1s which person we think is the less productive. I ended up being the chosen one. He listed all the mistakes I made over those 6 months. During our 1-on-1s, he was always saying I was not doing enough, spending my time on managing a project instead of writing documents. I was a Program Manager L5, but what he needed to climb the ladder was a Product Manager L6.

Because I refused to spend my day writing docs about potential features that will never be implemented, he put me on a pivot plan stating I was not meeting expectations listing all the errors I ever made (not mentioning the way I fixed them). I decided to leave with the 3 month severance Amazon gives you (taxed at 32%, of course) and give up my unemployment rights. 

On my way back home after that meeting, I was crying of joy and relief. I do not have to deal with this bullsh*t situation anymore and I can get a job where I can focus on doing good work and improve my skills at a human pace! It took me a few weeks to gain back confidence in my skills as my manager told me during each of our 1-on-1s that I was not meeting expectations, not doing enough. I landed a job 6 weeks later in a great company that treats me like a valuable asset. I feel safe and worthy again. 

What I learned by a friend who used to work at Amazon HR is that the manager get a 10% bonus from his/her base salary when someone of his/her team leaves when being put on Pivot. Also, the motto at Amazon is to get rid of 10% of its workforce every year. Nothing is ever personal at Amazon, it is all about a bigger scheme based on this core concept – Anyone (or should I say anything) is replaceable.