Crushed Soul

Ah Amazon, we had a once a year “Promo Cycle” where your manager would tell you that you’re doing great and are all set to get it. But it’s not your managers who make the promo decisions. It’s higher up execs who chose “data driven” decisions.

So when I have data to prove my impact and merit compared to others on my team and ZERO emails with any major constructive criticism.

And even my managers are so sorry and feel so bad when my male counterpart, who barely even shows up to work, but is friends with everyone, gets the promo over me.

And I ask my manager for a reason and get told that “promos are just so complicated and it was out of my control but I’ll help you fight for an off cycle promo”

Even my direct manager knew it was BS that he couldn’t do anything to change.

And then the layoffs for our org happened. My male counterpart is still there and I’m on the hit list of a layoff. And when I ask “Why me?” At the layoff meeting. I get told “I’m sorry it’s confidential and we can’t disclose. But we'll pay you and help you find a new job”

I’m sorry but to me, that’s not right.

Is it because I’m married and am at risk of going on maternity if I get knocked up soon??

You can take away my banana stands and beer at work, but I just want some feedback and an answer. WHY ME?

Is that too much to ask when my souls and dreams were crushed?