1801 December 23 Chamberlain to Sutcliff
John Chamberlain, Bristol, to John Sutcliff, Olney, 23 December 1801.
Bristol Dec.r 23.rd 1801
Dear Father,
D.r Ryland being about to send a parcel to Northampton, I drop a line to send in it, tho at this time I have little to write. I presume that you are already apprized of what has passed between Dr Ryland & me concerning the Mission. This morning he read me some things out of your letter relative to this affair & remarked some things of which I suppose you will hear before this arrives. I perceive that he has already anticipated some things about which I was thinking of writing to you such as coming up into Northamptonshire to stay a little before the time of departure. From some hints which have been dropped this morning I conjecture that you will soon expect me in your parts, but D.r Ryland thinks I might stay some time longer. He mention’d what you wrote concerning Persic & will I expect write to you farther about these things. Respecting coming up I should like it, but am at your disposal. Duty & interest I think require me if possible to spend some time among my Friends. I confess that I should like to be two by three months here to apply to the Greek but yet this is of inferior importance. Much better shall I like to have my heart & mind engaged in a nobler employ. If it be judged proper, that I should attend to Persic, if health permit I will do it with vigorous application. Some things occur to me which I now write concerning my connection with H. S which I doubt not you have already anticipated. If there be any prospect of our embarking for Bengal soon, would it not be eligible for her to give Mr Green as early notice as possible? that he may the better provide against the event? Would it not be necessary & prudent for her to spend a month at least among her friends if they approve of it? These seem to me necessary precautions. In bringing them forth, I have no thought of protracting the time so far from it that I wish we were now sailing on the spacious main, or were the day of embarkation to morrow, I should rejoice.
I cannot be sufficiently thankful for that composure of mind I enjoy in the prospect of so important an undertaking. Blessed be God I am neither flushed with flattering hopes, nor depressed with discouraging fears. Being firmly persuaded that the cause is Jehovah’s my mind is not greatly moved in the prospects of difficulty or danger & being brought about by divine Providence in such a way to present my self for this work, I cannot dispute my call, while at the same time, I tremble at myself & think nobody so unworthy or unfit, for such a momentous concern. I am fully assured that were it not for a conviction of the reality extent & sufficiency of the divine promises & grace, I should sink under the load & never rise again. But thanks be to God he supports me in the prospect of this work, & will also I hope, if he call me to its execution. My Mind has been in a happy state in general since the prospect of my going on the Mission became more evident. I was more discouraged respecting this affair a little before this event, than at any period since I left Olney. I began to conclude that I had no heart for this affair, & that if I were called upon to give an account of myself relative to this matter whether I would go or not, I should not hesitate to decide it negatively. All my hopes, desire, & prospects seemed gone, past all return. I rejoice the trial has proved otherwise. They were only overwhelmed in thick gloom, when the light arose they again appeared, & came into delightful exercise with reanimated vigor. Thus I am happily disappointed in the conclusion I too rashly made & rebuke myself for my precipitancy. It gives me pleasure to see my way begin to appear, but being sensible that it may again be beclouded I am taught to be moderate in my joy. An hour of sunshine may be followed with many stormy days. I feel more of the necessity of inward religion without which all outward profession is but a mere flash. My soul longs for the experience of the constraining love of Christ in my heart that this may be the main spring to every action. O how important is this for a Missionary especially! This will support the sharpest trials, & stimulate to undertake the most arduous enterprizes in the promotion of his blessed cause. O may I have a large portion of this blessed principle to constrain me to the performance of the divine will in all things.
I am sincerely obliged to you for the letters you lately sent me & for the suitable advice it contained concerning reading & books. My practice for some time past has been agreeable to it. But now it seems that I am about to resign the priviledges [sic] I have so long enjoyed. I am sorry that they have been no better improved that my time has been no better spent. The remembrance of Bristol will ever excite gratitude & sorrow in my mind. Should I shortly leave, I hope to do it in resignation to the divine will, & trust that a divine blessing will be added to whatever knowledge I have attain’d here. Just received a letter from my Dear H. S. which affords me much pleasure respecting the good work before us. Her heart is stedfast trusting in the Lord. Blessed by God. My Christian Love to M.rs Sutcliff & to Miss Johnston. Soliciting an intrest [sic] in your prayers, that I may be directed into the whole will of God
I remain
Affectionately Yrs
J Chamberlain
Text: Eng. MS. 387, f. 21b, JRULM. On the back page Sutcliff has written, “Rec. Jan.y 2. 1802.” ]Chamberlain’s fiancée, Hannah Smith, was a member of Sutcliff’s congregation at Olney. They were married in 1802, but she died shortly after their arrival in India in 1804. The other person mentioned above may be Thomas Green, for many years pastor of the Baptist church at Middleton Cheney, Northamptonshire.