Desborough debacle?

Post date: Oct 24, 2016 3:36:36 PM

Noon on the Thursday was the deadline for deciding the format that our Saturday friendly would take against our latest opponents from Desbeorough. A fifth phone call revealed that they were still three short of the required twenty four, as they were at the beginning of the week. DSo, reluctantly, it was agreed that we would give them three of ours making five rinks of four instead of six. So Maggie, who virtually runs the ship anyway, I just toss for the jack, agreed, again we use the word reluctantly. Who else would put up the least resistance. It was decided to wait until the last moment and spring it on an unsuspecting 'victim', allowing them no room for escape. Most of those playing have an annoying habit of forming an unruly queue to ask " which rink am I on ? This is before the scorecards are even written out. Little did the first one to ask the question know what was in store. The other one to make up the three was me! I hadn't intended playing anyway in order to attempt to write a what might be an half reasonable write up on what happened on the rinks instead of writing this sort of rubbish. Ah well I thought it hasn't happened yet so why should today be any different.

Upon entering the club the first person I saw was Barry, the Desborough captain, sweat dripping from his forehead down his badge emblazend blazer on to a pile of £10 notes scattered al over the table . Shaking my hand he grumbled " they didn't tell me I had to do this when I took on the job. I used to be a bricklayer not a bloody cashier. "I know what you mean mate", not letting on that there's no way I am going to get involved with that. Things would be in complete chaos. Thank god that Maggie and Betty Sims look after that sides of things. So, I just start to write out the scorecards and it happened. "What rink am I on mate ?, I look up. It was Ron Blake, one of the most least likely of all the players you would expect to throw a tantrum. I put the request to him as nicely as possible. No problem mate he said with a smile, well it looked like a smile.

So, what about the reason we we're supposed to be there for, the match. Well to cut a long story short, we were 17 - 40 down after six ends. Good start I thought (not) ! After ten ends we had crept up to being 32 - 58 down. Right this is it, now they're in trouble , I whispered to our players (Stamford) on my rink, remembering I was was playing for the opposition and we ( Desborough) were 15 - 3 up on my rink. If anyone can understand any of that please let me know. Our closest rink skipped by a newcomer to friendlies, Howard Neath, was only 6 - 7 down. With numerous wrong bias woods flying about all over the place (remember, the small circle must always be on the inside) we arrived at fifteen ends. I plucked up courage to look at the scoreboard. What!, I couldn't believe it 44 - 91 down and losing on all rinks. I searched frantically through my pockets for a white handkerchief but no such luck. To make things even more embarrassing, on my rink Desborough are 19 - 7 up and could be in line for best rink.

I turn my attention to the clock and realise that all rinks are playing at a slow pace and my concern is that we are not going to reach 21 ends and be ready to eat at the agreed time of 5pm. A quick word with Andy, our chef, who had another group to feed after ours. Yes the meal will be ready for 5pm. It didn't take long to decide, and curtail the agony, for no more jacks to be rolled after 4.45pm. After the last wood had been bowled a final look at the scoreboard showed we had been well and truly beaten by 108 - 62. But at least we weren't whitewashed. We had one winning rink being Janet Dye, Pam Heather, Mark Hebden and Maurice Dye. Well done to them. We visit Desborough in the new year with the thoughts engraved into our mind that on another day who knows.

Rinks scores (Stamford) names only: Janette Bourne, Judy Barwell, Rory McHard, Howard Neath lost 11 - 20. Joy Winfield, Janet Moore, Cherry Burgess, Colin Burgess lost 10 - 22. Janet Lonslow, Serena Brunning, James Hebden, Arthur Lonslow lost 12 - 21. Tina Knights, Margaret Grainger, Val White, Garry Knights lost 10 - 29. Janet Dye, Pam Heather, Mark Hebden, Maurice Dye won 19 - 16.

End. (thank God )

Denis Stapleton

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