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posted 9 Jan 2019, 00:37 by Keith Rippin
The jury is out to give its findings on the latest saga in the Weekend friendly fiasco series-the The Melton Massacre. Was it the bouncy wooden floor that made the bowls slip and slide along the rink as in past matches on the slippery slope that we thought we had mastered with our recent victories.

Was it the fact that we learned afterwards that most of their players played regularly in their top internal leagues. Was it the fact that they sent in their heavy troops, particularly on rink five where two of them had notched up sixty four years between them in the Royal Pioneer Corps speciaising in ablutions.

No wonder they had verbal diarrhea throughout the whole of the match and Serena Brunning couldnt eat her pudding. Our mainly unaccustomed bad start didnt help, 11-18 down after four ends. 19-39 (oh dear) after six, 53-71 (here we go) after twelve. As if in protest the scoreboard packed in so we cant give you the final aggregate score but you can, if you must work it out for yourself.

These names are not fictitious to protect the innocent: Colin Burgess, Margaret Grainger, Cherry (Colins not playing skip) Burgess lost 14-24; Jenny Desborough, Linda Cave, Derek Cave also lost 14-24; Maggie Holden, Howard (Eh,up) Neath, Ken (Choo choo) White  lost 9-29; Rosemary Roberts, Sue Gentry, Ralph Romaine(any relation to Alan?) lost 10-21; Denis (was this his first ever game?) Stapleton, Serena Brunning, Ron Blake lost 10-20; Bruce Acock, Ann Preston Bambridge, Nigel (our best rink) Trigg lost 14-18.

For the defence they admitted that most of their team played in their top internal leagues. They knew their "green". We didn't play our best but we tried hard, we lost to a better side, but everyone was still smiling at the finish and the braised pork in apple gravy was divine.

Thank you team! - Maggie.