Slippery Spalding undo Stamford in the Salver

The two legged Battle of the Silver Salver (Tin Plate) fought out annually between us and that lot down the road near the River Welland has loomed up again. We’d been asked to bring the start time forward, so in they all troop in good time, including those who captain Maggie Holden (pictured left) had to twist their arms up their backs to play at the very last minute. Who wants a handicap like that before they even start playing? In comes the opposition captain, grinning like Cheshire cat. “Hello Maggie, how nice to see you, have a good game”. We’ve all heard that one before!So all the formalities are concluded, one on the first two ends and off they go, twenty one ends or two hours fifty minutes. By the fifth end we’re leading 29-25 with our best rink specialist Ron Blake and his quartet up 7-3, but watch out Ron, one of our late replacements Neil Handley has his eyes set on the tube of Smarties, his rink’s leading 9-2.

On end nine Janet Lonslow puts her first wood one foot from the jack. Husband and our President Arthur (Don’t you know who I am? Stand to attention when you’re talking to me) does his applauding seal impersonation followed by his now well known entrechat. He goes down to the mat, bowls his first wood and gets a chalker he leaps into another entrechat, this is better than going to the pictures, keep the crowds back please. Sadly he slumps to the floor in despair after a measure sees his rink go 3-11 down.

Skipping along we are now into the second half, I didn’t nod off did I? A quick look at the scoreboard shows that we are leading overall by 56-53, oh yes we are, with the “Reliable Ron’s” rink leading the charge 15-8. The opposition captain’s facial expression has now changed from that of a Cheshire cat to that of a grimace. All captains must have the vital statistic of being able to grimace.

The slippery slope to which we had previously become accustomed is not going to be mentioned. So we shall move swiftly on. After eleven ends we lead 62-61, keep going. After twelve 69-66, after thirteen 71 -69. Who said thirteen was unlucky. The fourteenth end did, we go 73-82 down. Yours truly has to go to the bar for a large G & T. The barmaid’s disappeared, can’t she stand it either. She eventually appears, denying that she’d been outside for a fag in spite of the smoke still coming out of her ears.

Back to the plot. Sixteen ends completed 81-102 down. I don’t believe it. But don’t give up. Our Arthur drops a six on the seventeenth end, ouch. But wait a minute he gets a six back on the next end. He spins round and drops to the floor again. It’s the excitement, bring on the smelling salts.

After a couple more ends during the rest of which all the remaining wheels come off, the bell rings to bring an end to what had promised to be a victorious first leg. Final score 103 to us, 140 to them. An excellent meal is had by all. Maggie, with what we think could have been a smile, or maybe a grimace, congratulates the Spalding lot and says how much we are looking forward to the second leg at their place. Oh yes we are!

Rink Scores: Janette Bourne, Serena Brunning, Paul Green, Jeff Bourne lost 19-23; Rosemary Roberts, Colin Lunn, Ann Preston-Bambridge, Ron Blake won 29-22 (best rink); Janet Lonslow, Sue Gentry, Annette Oliver, Arthur Lonslow lost 13-29; Ken Rawlins, Carolyn Gray, Janet Moore, Doug Ellis won 17-14; Reg Goode, Cherry Burgess, Colin Burgess, Neil Handley lost 14-27; Jenny Desborough, Margaret Grainger, Maggie Holden, Nigel Trigg lost 11-25.

D.S.