096　Starlight ocean

In late autumn, I received news that Ni-no-miya's mother, Lady Ichijo, had passed away, so I wrote her a letter of condolence. Ni-no-miya's response was calmer than I expected. I heard that there was an aristocrat who was dating her, and her mother probably asked him to protect her. 

It's like a snowy night when I died. I have no memory after that. The snow falling quietly muffled all the smells and sounds, and I felt like I was the only one in this world. It was strangely not unpleasant. Before dawn, I saw a ray of light in the darkness, so I closed my eyes. I felt my body being sucked into that warm light, and I realized that my life was ending. 

◇◇◇

I feel like I've been asleep for a very long time. If I have eyelids, I open them slowly. It feels like a very clear and clean world. I lay there on my back and dazed for a while. After quite some time, I noticed someone peering at me from the side.

"Are you OK?" 

I think she's a lady because her hair is long. She helps me get up. I sat there, still dazed. Something like a white mist floats around our feet and gently enveloping us. A beautiful lady was gazing at me, so 

"Nice to meet you, I'm Suzaku." 

I bowed politely. She smiled deep in her eyes, 

"Nice to meet you too, I'm Aoi." 

and answered me politely. Her smile was just like Yugiri-kun's. 

"You seem very tired. You were asleep the whole time." 

Lady Aoi looked at me and said worriedly. 

"Have you come for me?" 

"Yes." 

"Thank you very much. Sorry for making you wait so long." 

She nodded so I felt bad for her. Isn't my appearance strange? I'm getting old... Lady Aoi looks as young and beautiful as she did when she passed away. 

"I have brought a message from Yugiri-kun. He has become very admirable." 

As I spoke, my heart was so full of emotion that I couldn't say anything for a while. 

"He has 12 children, all of whom are very cute and growing well. Hikaru was also doing well and his grandson became the Crown Prince. Your family home is secure and thriving. Your relatives are also rising through the ranks, and I heard that Yugiri-kun will become the Grand Minister of the state in the future." 

There must have been a lot of things I wanted to talk about, but when I was in front of her, I couldn't remember anything. I'm sure she knew all this, but I couldn't resist telling it myself. 

"It's all about other people." 

Lady Aoi looked at me with intense eyes. 

"Would you like to tell me your story?" 

When she asked me that, I smiled bitterly. 

"I am old. Everyone helped me, so I was able to live. I became a monk, so I don't even have hair." 

As I said that, I touched my head and was surprised to feel of black hair. It's true that I had long black hair that reached my chest like when I was younger. 

"Have I become younger...?" 

I tilted my head to the side and thought about it for a while, but I wasn't sure. Lady Aoi sits quietly next to me. Is this heaven? This is a blurry space like above the clouds in the night sky. It also seems like we don't have time. I felt fulfilled just being with her.

"Father..." 

There is a person who passes right in front of my eyes. He is my father. Although he is dressed as Mikado, he looks young. Then there is a young lady following quietly behind him. 

"...Mother?" 

She was a quiet woman who seemed to have strong beliefs. Could she be my mother in her younger days? She looks only at my father and follows him. Two women were walking behind them, keeping a distance between them. They look very similar. 

"Lady Kiritsubo and Lady Fujitsubo..." 

I thought it was strange because I could clearly recognize the names of people I had never met. They walked along, chatting friendly, and bowed slightly as they passed me. 

"Suzaku-san!" 

Then, a familiar voice that I will never forget called me, and I felt like I had finally woken up. 

"Kashiwagi-kun...!"  

He is smiling and waving to me as he carries his fishing rod on his shoulder.

"Is this heaven?" 

When I asked him that, 

"We're still on the road."

he smiled and told me.

"You're really laid-back. Did you just wake up?" 

At that moment, I heard a voice behind me and when I turned around, I saw Hikaru approaching. 

"Hikaru! Did you die?" 

"I died. How many years do you think it's been since then?" 

He smiles and walks past me. Next to him, perhaps his partner, a woman who looked a lot like Lady Fujitsubo was smiling and accompanying him. 

"See you later." 

I was a little upset that he had gone first. 

"Hi, Suza-ni!" 

Next, Hotaru waving cheerfully and passes me by. Is that his late wife next to him? He walks arm in arm with her and they look at each other, so they seem to get along very well.

"Oh, they have gone..." 

Everyone seemed to be walking in the same direction. They walk happily, talking and laughing at their own speed. 

"Did everyone die? Has the world ended...?" 

When I asked about it with anxiety, 

"It's just that time has passed. The world is still going on." 

Lady Aoi calmly told me. This aspect of her is just like Yugiri-kun. I felt relieved from the bottom of my heart. 

"Shall we go too?" 

She said this and held out her hand to me, so I looked at her and gently took her hand. Tears suddenly flow down my face. 

"Yes, let's go." 

I wonder if it's okay for me to be her partner. But I don't want to let go of her hand. 

"I'm honored that you chose me." 

I bowed, she smiled, and we stood up together. The vision in front of our eyes is white and hazy. Our feet were covered in clouds, but if we looked closely, 

"Wow, it's the starlight ocean..." 

we could see countless stars twinkling in the jet black sky, making us feel like we were standing in the Milky Way. 

"Hi, Nio-kun, let's play together!" 

"Are you still talking like that childish thing, Kaoru?" 

I strained my ears as I heard the voices of boys coming from far below. 

"Oh, have you become an adult?" 

"No, but... I'm prepared for that." 

"Now let's have an archery competition!" 

"What... isn't that a wagering game? Have you played that yet?" 

"Everyone is playing it!" 

"My late Mom told me not to bet." 

"Wow, you're too well-bred!" 

"Of course I am! I'm an imperial prince!" 

Their friendly conversation made me smile. The hand I held with Lady Aoi was warm, and the sky from my feet to my head was filled with stars. Even though there is no wind, her very long hair flows gently and we feel as if we are under the sea. I feel happy while looking at her. I smiled a little shyly, and we started walking one step at a time.