061　Fireflies

"I'm going now. It's bad to keep her waiting." 

Hotaru said that and slowly stood up.

"Hey, don't be cold to her." 

Hikaru looks worried and asks a favor of him. When Hotaru got up from his seat, Yugiri-kun and Kashiwagi-kun also stood up and tried to leave without a word. I was wondering if I should go home as well, but 

"Suzaku-san."

Yugiri-kun pulled my sleeve, so I stood up too. 

"Please follow us." 

I walked behind them, keeping a little distance as if I was following Hotaru.

"Well, where are we headed? 

"We observe Hotaru-san."

"Are you going to watch him?!"

I was very reluctant to peek into other people's romances, but Yugiri-kun's decision didn't seem to change. 

"Hotaru-san also knows this."

"Oh, I see..."

Although I was taken aback by Yugiri-kun's foresight, I nodded. Hotaru is also amazing because he can talk to a lady even though he knows he's being watched. I wonder what will happen? 

I was taken to the west wing of the summer section where Miss Tamakazura lived, and hid myself behind a pillar in a dimly lit room. I can see Hotaru clearly from here, and I can't see her because of the cloth screen. Hotaru, who had arrived before us, informed a lady-in-waiting of his business at the entrance and sat down in the seat prepared for him in front of the bamboo blinds. 

"Thank you for your letter."

Hotaru looked very calm as he faced Miss Tamakazura with only a bamboo blind between them. I've known him for a long time, but this is the first time I've seen him talk to his girlfriend. No, she's not his girlfriend... The tone of his voice is the same as always, and very friendly and warm.

"Hasn't Hikaru played a trick on you?"

The lady inside the room laughed a little and answered in a low voice.

"He hugged me and stroked my hair, that's all..."

I listened in suspense, thinking it was a surprise that he didn't go any further. Is it true that the future is likely to change if I am here? Won't there be bad consequences if I peep...?

They were silent for a while. When I squinted into the darkness, Yugiri-kun and Kashiwagi-kun, who had brought me here, were gone. They may have left out of consideration for Hotaru and her.

"I wanna say I love you, but I lost my wife of many years and have sons. My heart's filled with them."

Hotaru was very straightforward. Hikaru said he didn't want Miss Tamakazura to despair, but in the end, telling her the truth may hurt her the least. 

"You are very sincere, Your Highness." 

The lady in the room looked disappointed but said with a little smile.

"What kind of future did you dream of that you came to this Capital?" 

"Nothing... I came here to escape from the man who was forcing me to marry him."

"You had a hard time." 

Hotaru nodded sadly, 

"I'm sorry for the trouble Hikaru caused you."

he apologized for Hikaru's behavior. Hotaru is Hikaru's younger brother, but he looks like an older brother because he is so trustworthy.

"Is there anyone in this Capital who will love me...?"

She asked sadly, making my heart hurt. 

"Master also only teases me and probably won't try to be my husband." 

She seems to have already figured out that she can't become Hikaru's beloved wife because she has insight. 

"Someone who loves you will appear. Definitely." 

Hotaru also looked pained. Still, he answers her as kindly as he can.

"Do you like children?"

He asked slowly, and

"Yes."

she answered happily.

"Can I become a mother? Even though I can't even be a wife..." 

I couldn't bear to listen to her murmuring forlornly. Why don't the gods and buddhas save her when she is suffering so much? Won't someone not in the plot show up and rescue her? Do miracles that are not written in those prophecies not occur...?

I guess Hotaru felt the same way as me, so he remained silent for a long time. Some yellow-green lights suddenly appeared there as if emerging from the darkness. The lights flicker and fly around her. Could those be fireflies...? It seemed like someone had released fireflies wrapped in thin cloth near her. Illuminated by their faint light, her shadow appears and disappears.

"......"

Hotaru sighed sadly when he saw the fireflies' lights.

"Go to the back."

He urges her to step back and lifts the bamboo blind in front of him a little. The fireflies have gathered near Hotaru one after another, perhaps attracted by the outside air. His figure emerges in a fantastical way as the lights flicker as if they are breathing. 

The small blinking bugs flew around his shoulders and face, but he didn't try to shoo them away and slowly stood up. He seems to be trying to get them to escape. Yellow-green lights are swaying and reflecting in the dark hallway. The gentle flames of the fireflies that flickered on and off were like the souls of a deceased person who had come back to life for just one night. They illuminate Hotaru's gentle profile, and

"You are so beautiful..."

he smiles at them, murmuring softly. The fireflies did not want to leave his surroundings, and seemed to be having nostalgic conversations with him after a long time. He borrowed the servant's shoes, put them on, and went outside with the fireflies. Then he released them one by one into the night sky and saw them off.

"...Goodbye, lady." 

After the last light had flown away, he turned to her and just said that.