077　Feel alone

After being silent for a while, I made up my mind and asked. 

"What am I going to do now?" 

"You're worried about the future of Princess San-no-miya and you make her marry me."

"To you??" 

When I looked surprised, Hikaru gave me a wry smile. 

"Strange, right? Why are you worrying about your daughter's future and letting her marry me, even though we're only 3 years apart?" 

He said that in a very annoying way, so I felt bad for him. 

"That sounds terrible. It's bothering your partner, isn't it?"

"Exactly! That's very annoying. Do you understand?"

Hikaru seemed to be quite drunk and spoke to me as if to complain. 

"The hierarchy of wives I've worked so hard to create will collapse when I accept Princess San-no-miya. I always wanna put Murasaki first, but because of Princess I can't do that. That's the most painful thing for me. Due to the stress, she'll become ill and die before me. I can't bear that the most. I don't want her to die before me. Understand?" 

"I can totally understand..."

I nodded repeatedly. The pain of losing a loved one is indescribable. That doesn't mean I should die first, but it's too painful to be left alone in this world. 

"Will the problem be solved if I don't let San-no-miya marry you?"

"Yeah, I think so..."

Hikaru looked very sleepy, but he listened to me. 

"Why does Kashiwagi-kun pass away?"

"He cuckolds Princess San-no-miya while I'm not at home."

"Oh, no..."

"I notice that and glare at him harshly. He gets sick from fear of me." 

"That's a terrifying scenario..."

"Yeah, I know..."

After saying that, Hikaru began to doze off, and soon fell asleep easily. Hotaru next to him is also fast asleep. 

"You can drink a lot, Suzaku-san." 

My eyes met Reizei-san's, and I smiled bitterly a little. 

"I don't seem to be able to get drunk." 

"Neither do I."

I quietly got up from my seat and sat next to Yugiri-kun. He also seems to have gotten drunk and is sleeping with his head down while sitting. I spoke to Reizei-san in a whisper with Yugiri-kun in between. 

"Should I take San-no-miya with me and hide somewhere?" 

"A son is born to her and Kashiwagi-kun, and even after Father passes away, the prophecies continue centered around him." 

"Oh, such an important person will be born..." 

I thought for a while and said the simplest thing. 

"Should I let San-no-miya marry Kashiwagi-kun?"

"According to the prophecy he will marry Princess Ni-no-miya."

"Ni-no-miya..."

She is my second daughter. She should be living with her mother, Lady Ichijo. 

"Does he like San-no-miya?"

"He really wanted to marry Princess San-no-miya, but since that didn't happen, he chooses Princess Ni-no-miya instead." 

"......"

They are my daughters and half-sisters. I thought it would be too terrible for him to have a son with San-no-miya even though he was married to Ni-no-miya, so I kept quiet about it. Although it's strange to complain about something that hasn't happened yet. 

"I will let San-no-miya marry him first." 

"I agree,"

Reizei-san smiled as he looked around at the party, where most of the participants had fallen asleep.

"If they agree with that." 

I also looked around the party, but it seems that Kashiwagi-kun, who was there during the day, is now gone. Has he already gone home? I don't think it's necessary to participate in parties where you drink and stay up late because it's unhealthy. 

"You seem calmer than usual after drinking, Suzaku-san?" 

I felt a little embarrassed that Reizei-san could see right through me. 

"When I drink, I feel like there is nowhere to escape and I feel strangely determined." 

I don't become more cheerful or pessimistic even after drinking alcohol. I just feel intensely alone, and I feel like my eyes are even more clear than before I drank it. 

"I'll ask San-no-miya what she thinks." 

Will she like Kashiwagi-kun? Should I persuade her to marry him if I can avoid his death? I wonder what will happen to Ni-no-miya if I let San-no-miya get married first. Me in the prophecy must have been worried, but in real life I am also thinking deeply. 

"No one has ever escaped the death written in those prophecies." 

Reizei-san said to me, smiling at Yugiri-kun, who was sleeping leaning against him.

"His fate may not change no matter what we do."

Will Kashiwagi-kun die in the end? All humans die, sooner or later. What can I do for him now that he knows when he is going to die? I wonder what he wants. As the sweet smell of alcohol filled the air, I was quietly pondering my thoughts.