Our Feelings

If we strike a bell of brass with a wooden stick, it generates waves of sound, if we pelt a stone into stagnant water, water spreads. Similarly when we hear or see something, it creates a reaction in us, we have a sensation, it is what is known as feeling. It is an emotion. Feelings arise in every living being. Every living being is full of feelings. Feelings do not arise in one who is dead. Only difference is that feelings may arise more in some people and a little less in others depending upon what type of a person they are. In a sensitive person they arise more than what they arise in a normal person. Some express or exhibit their feelings whereas some keep the feelings within themselves once again depending upon their nature. It is said that one who has no feelings is not at all a human but a rock. Some believe that even rock has feeling.

Some cannot withhold or conceal their feelings. They express their feelings. Whereas some try to withhold or conceal their feelings. It is on one's countenance or in actions we notice their feelings generally.A countenance has one or another feeling of an individual on it.Seldom we come across a countenance where feeling of one is not depicted.However a feeling is not depicted uniformly on countenances. On some occasions it is expressed intensely and on some occasions it is expressed superficially.It is always not at all easy to read and understand a feeling depicted on a countenance. Children who are innocent respond to our love and affection that are nothing but our feeling. Even dog, cat, parrots etc respond to our tender feelings towards them. It is only love or feelings that increase when we share with others. In the modern world everybody is busy. Nobody has time to care for others feelings. Now- a -days our feelings remain within ourselves without being expressed, without being understood, and without being cared. This leads to frustration. That is why there is lot of unrest in the modern world. Another feature of modern days is that soft feelings like gratitude, kindness,and consciousness, are on the decline and have hardened in people due to various reasons like poverty, suffering, hypocrisy, difficulties, circumstances, and lifestyle. Some people are brutal and all feelings have died in them. Generally they depend on underworld activities for their livelihood and are engaged in day light murders, smuggling, anti national activities etc

One should always understand their feelings. However, understanding a feeling is always not an easy task. There is a way to deal with every feeling that one would have. There is wide range of feelings like feelings of happiness, feelings of unhappiness, and feelings of guilt etc. Similar feelings draw one another closer and closer. Feelings attract one another. Feelings make or mar a relationship. Relationship, understanding, misunderstanding etc influence one’s feeling. Broadly, a feeling can be classified as a good feeling or a bad feeling. A positive thinking always gives rise to a good feeling and a negative thinking always gives rise to a bad feeling. Feelings create impressions. A good feeling creates a good impression and a bad feeling creates a bad impression. If one have good feelings anything would appear beautiful to them and if one have bad feelings everything would appear ugly to them.

Feelings augment within everybody. Some feelings develop over a period of time and some feelings are instantaneous. Feelings need attention. They cannot be ignored out rightly. What is important is one’s feeling and not who he or she is. Feelings are a burden as long as they remain inside one. They are to be soothed as long as they are natural and realistic. They do not allow one to remain calm and quiet. The feelings would always be waiting in the wing to find an expression. Feelings need always an outlet. They await for the earliest opportunity to come out. It is always better for one if they come out too. Otherwise, they would find their own way out just like peril teaching way to get out of it. In this context, there is a grandmother tale, which is about a barber and his wife. The barber comes to know that king has ears of donkey; he shares this secret with his wife and asks her to keep it to herself and as a result her belly start bulging and the couple goes to a forest and the lady reveals the secret to a tree. Subsequently the tree was cut and a drum was made out of it. Whenever that drum was beaten it used to announce that ears of king are that of donkey. Some resort to soliloquy to empty their feelings. While others speak when they are asleep without being aware of what they murmur. Those who keep the feelings within themselves without giving vent to them in one or another way undergo turmoil or become sometimes mad even .

When we could not share our feelings with dear and near, we become restless, life seems to be monotonous. People suffering from mental depression would be more depressed. Sharing of feelings with others brings one much needed relief. Sometimes it helps one find solution to one's problem, helps to get rid of difference of opinion, misunderstanding , and discord etc. Mutual sharing of feelings develops relationship and intimacy. But all the feelings could not be and should not be expressed or shared. Our feelings are our own, they pertain to us and us only. They cannot be that of others. They are confidential and should be shared with confidants only that too discreetly. Our feelings could be called as top secrets too. We only really know what our feelings are. The feelings remain within us and would be known to others only if we disclose them. Otherwise at the best others could only guess what might be our feelings are. Further, whether their guess or understanding is correct or not that also we only could confirm. Another special feature of feelings is that once they develop it is very hard to remove them from us whether it is love, affection, hatred, jealousy or anything for that matter. Feeling like we are following a correct or right path that a particular person is good or bad etc if once gets deep rooted in us means it is very difficult to change or alter them until and unless otherwise concretely proved and we are satisfied.

Feelings and our mind have coordination. Our state of mind controls our feelings. Our mental health affects our feelings very much. Some incidents create certain feelings in us, which could not be forgotten at all. Usually, various feelings like anger, misunderstanding, surprise, arise during incidents. Which incident gives rise to what feeling and when etc we could not say at the outset for it is the circumstances that cause an incident. It is feelings that develop relationship or break relationship among many of us. In our enthusiasm to get rid of immense feelings that arise in us, we should never share our feelings with Tom, Dick and Harry. In that case it may create more problems to us than any solution even if temporarily it gives some solace. We may become a laughing stock even. Only some have nature of understanding and responding to others feeling. It is said that we should share our feelings with our equals only. There are feelings, which should not be shared with others at all. Due care should be taken while sharing our feelings with others. Sharing of a feeling is not that easy, it is an uphill task and we should be very diplomatic in this regard. We find persons who have more feelings within but outwardly show only a few feelings or give expression to a few feelings only and some among them are cunning and some crooked who do not even betray their true feelings instead they pretend while only a few among them are good and shrewd too. Shakespeare rightly says "Give everybody thy ear, but a few thy tongue"

Surroundings or atmosphere influence our feelings too. Thinly populated area with cool breeze, calm cordial amicable healthy atmosphere, gives rise to nice feelings. Thickly populated noisy busy area with hot weather disturbs one’s feelings. Further, all are not alike; amongst us some are temperamental and due to anger or some other reason make a sudden outburst wherein they come out with all their feelings. Later on they realize that they erred and repent for their rude behavior. From the moment we are born till we breathe our last we come across feelings. As long as our senses are under our control feelings do come to us. A few people are complacent in this world. On the contrary everybody is dissatisfied in one or another way. Difficulties and suffering spare a few. This is what most of us feel in this world. Tears indicate our feelings too unless they are crocodile tears. Tears roll down over our cheeks either when we are very happy, or sorrowful. Helplessness also sometimes brings tears into our eyes. Feelings should be properly expressed and expression should be appropriate to the occasion. Otherwise there is something wrong with that person. There is always a way to express one's feeling. It could be termed as a way of expression. Based on way of expression his or her behavior is judged or lauded. Our feelings and our thoughts have a link. Feelings arise in us due to circumstances and make rounds in us intensely, and which, could not be set aside easily. They have a tendency to rebound with greater vigor. Physical strength is of no avail to bear feelings. However a strong a person may be he or she cannot withstand feelings many a times. Feelings are powerful. They many time send shivers down one's spine. Feelings are sometimes so strong and powerful that they make anybody vulnerable. They are not to be allowed to dominate us. They are to be controlled. Partially satisfied and unsatisfied feelings are too problematic. They drive one mad too. It is said that a wounded lion is always more ferocious .So also a human being is. One may pardon the other for slapping on their face even but not for wounding their feelings.

Understanding others feeling is a rare quality, which only a few people possess. Some say that it is an art. The love, affection, and regard which one has for one another, brings one another closer, share their feelings and understand their respective feelings too. One who has faced a similar situation would definitely understand the feelings of a person who is facing that particular situation at present. That does not require any extra ordinary skill except his or her will. One who is humane only generally responds to others feeling. Human beings are not cruel by birth; nobody wants to hurt another's feeling

Those who think alike, live together, and inter act with one another frequently should understand one another's feeling. Intensity of feelings differs from person to person. Overcoming of feelings is a tough task. Those who have control over their feelings are a few and one has to strive hard to have control over their feelings. Some are very sensitive and take everything to heart. It is their nature. People could be divided into two categories, as one who have superiority complex and another who have inferiority complex. People with superiority complex feel that they are great and superior to others in every respect whether it is intelligence, behavior, standard of living or anything for that matter whereas people with inferiority complex feel other way round and especially those who have depression feel that they are useless .We should not have either superiority complex or inferiority complex. But we should be somewhere in the middle way between the two. Our various moods are nothing but reflection of our feelings. Happiness, sorrow, anger, love, jealousy, gratitude, revenge, lust, stinginess, pain, confidence and kindness etc are various kinds of feelings, which confront us under different circumstances .Emotions, are result of intense feelings. Our feelings can be classified into three categories namely good feelings, bad or ill feelings and harmless feelings. Further, our feelings could be either sweet or bitter too like love and hatred. Feelings could be natural and unnatural too. Feelings could be termed as soft or hard. Love, affection, sorrow, sympathy etc are soft feelings. Cruelty, anger, revenge, etc are hard feelings. Those who have more of soft feelings are mild in behavior whereas those who have more of hard feelings are rough and tough in their behavior. Human being is molded by circumstances. When we are young we are energetic we are a little bit rash, we do not understand others difficulties, our feelings are hard but they do not remain the same as they are as we grow older our feelings do soften and we become more humane. As the rock gets more and more softened and beautiful when the sculptor strikes it, more and more our feelings get molded as when we face hardship in life.

We should exercise caution while dealing with people who try to earn our sympathy. Majority of such people turn out to be cheats. It is said by elders that we should not believe those male who often weep and those women who laugh. Appearances are always deceptive. It is difficult to make out what feelings a person has within unless we have the capacity to bring them out. When we face difficulties after difficulties or failure after failure in our life, death after death, takes place in our family, our feelings get hardened. Under similar circumstances the feelings of a person with steel nerves get softened. Circumstances thus mould the feelings of a man. Dilemma is a feeling created by a situation wherein when will be in two minds like whether to do or not to do, whether to help or not to help so on. If we carry out the instructions we would be wrong, we do not carry out the instructions also we would be wrong. We would not know what to do. It is difficult to take a decision when we face a dilemma .It is always better to avoid such situations, which disturb our feelings and bring unrest. Whenever we come across unnatural feelings, it indicates that something is wrong with our mental health especially. We get depressed and even sometimes try to commit suicide. We should not allow such feelings to continue for long. Feelings should not be allowed to come across our decision for we would be able to arrive at proper decision in that case. When we are helpless and badly in need of help, if somebody comes and helps us without any consideration and without expecting anything in return, naturally a feeling of gratitude arises and remains in us .A situation may evoke diametrically opposite feelings in two individuals. One may enjoy that situation whereas the other may curse or dislike that situation. If one is close to us, meets with an accident, or dies or gets into some serious trouble, it engages our attention and sympathy, if the same happens to a person who is unknown to us, it does not affect so much. Here we could notice similar situation evoking different feelings in us

When individuals give vent to their feelings their true colors are revealed. One is contented whenever their feeling is met. Whenever a feeling is not met discontentment brews in them. What form it would take and how it would emerge we cannot predict even. Way of expression of feelings differs from person to person. One may express his or her happiness with a smile, other may laugh. And the third may roar with laughter and the fourth may not show any feeling at all. Those who come out with their feelings without any reservations are outspoken. Those who conceal their feelings within themselves and who are pale and hungry looking, always serious are said to be dangerous and sometimes they turn out to be hypocrites. There are various ways for giving vent to our feelings. One can utter whatever they feel or write or sing or draw, all depends on the person and how he or she wants to express their feelings. Events and circumstances give birth to feelings in individuals. Success in an examination, competition, or interview, marriage, births of a child, profits etc bring joy or happiness whereas failures, defeat, death, loss etc are accompanied by disgust disappointment, distress, and sorrow. Insult is a feeling whereby one's self-pride is affected and could not be forgotten easily. Insult remains with us until it is settled by tit for tat. It gives birth to feeling of revenge. Knowingly or unknowingly we should not insult anybody. We should never play with anybody's feeling and humiliate them or rouse their feelings. It may become costly for us it may tantamount to playing with cobra; or wounding a lion consequences of such acts are hard to imagine. Whether the person with whose feelings we play is a mild person or a ferocious person it is immaterial here. One may forget the physical torture but not the wounding of feelings so easily. The pain caused to a person by beating him or her with a belt is temporary and may be bearable but not the one that is caused to his or her feelings. Definitely, the latter would remain longer.

Conscience, which is said to be presence of God in a man, is nothing, but a feeling, which arises in us when we knowingly commit a mistake, or harm somebody or say something to hurt somebody's feeling etc. The feeling occurs again and again and reminds of our fault till we make amends to. Jealousy is a feeling, which has no medicine at all. When it takes root in us it is hard to say. Generally when negative thoughts are making rounds in our mind, when, rivals, close relatives, friends neighbors are prospering and we are facing defeat or failure after failure, jealousy slowly creeps in. Jealousy also makes in roads depending on how our parents or elders bring us up, and how the relationship develops among the members of our family Incidents evoke feelings in us. Our behavior always depicts our feeling.

Our character and feelings are related. A good-natured fellow generally would be having good feelings. On the contrary a bad natured person would be full of bad feelings. Similarly if we have cordial relation with some and strained relation with others, our feelings would be different when we meet them. We enjoy meeting our friends, kith and kin, and well-wishers and share or exchange mutual feelings, thoughts etc. We reluctantly meet our rivals, enemies; etc. They are the unwanted guests. The genes of which we are made up of also contribute to our feelings. Hence, many of our feelings are hereditary. Food, which we take, has influence on our feelings. Similarly, we find apt feelings arising in us in accordance with our age. Hormones, steroids, alcohol and drugs all affect our feelings. Face is the index of a man. Our feelings generally reflect on our face. When we set up a task and successfully complete it, confidence, which is nothing but a feeling which grows in us and increases our capability. If we have no confidence we cannot do anything. If we lose confidence, it is very difficult to regain it. Ego is a feeling, which one should not have. It is having a high opinion about self and assuming to be great. Wealth, power, company, the way we are brought up etc develop ego in us. An egoistic person does not care for anybody except himself. He is a self-centered person. It is this egoistic feeling which would be a reason for a person's fall. It always predicts doom. If we feel and enact a role in a drama it would be excellent. Similarly wherever and whenever we put our feelings wholeheartedly in a task, the work turns out to be generally perfect and excellent.

If we have great expectations and in case they do not materialize, we would be definitely disappointed. Further that would give rise to scores of feelings, which shatter us. That is why elders say hope for the best be prepared for the worst. Similarly breach of trust kindles our feelings and brings to our memory many incidents of past where in we have helped the concerned in numerous ways. Words, which come out of aggrieved at that moment, not only give vent to their feeling but also reveal of what mettle they are made up of. When Dushyanth, the great emperor rejected Shakuntala when she was pregnant .In a filled court he said that he did not know her. Instead of abusing him, Shakuntala only called him uncivilized. Similarly, when Julius Caesar saw his friend Brutus stabbing him exclaimed "you too Brutus" Some great orators misuse their oratory skills to arouse the feelings of innocent, ignorant mob with inflammatory speeches. They try to exploit religious and communal sentiments of people. Other technique used to have effect and influence the feelings of communal and religious minded immature youths is through sermons, literature, spreading rumors, communal clashes, and exploiting their other short comings. Poisoning of mind, carrying tales are also methods used to arouse one another's feelings. Our patriotism, our pride etc are touched to arouse our feelings and make us rebellion or terrorist.

Some keep their feelings within themselves and allow the thoughts to make rounds. Such people are prone to mental ailments. They may suffer from anxiety, tension, depression, blood pressure etc. They sometimes even have pseudo feelings. We should not allow our feelings to rule us on the contrary we should have full control over them. Yoga, meditation, pranayama, prayers, and counseling etc help us a great deal to have our feelings within our fold. Some make use of diversionary tactics to forget the feelings that disturb them. They keep themselves fully engaged in such activities where they are completely busy and have no time to think or feel. Elders say to those who become suddenly angry that they should drink two cups of water or they suggest that one should count one to hundred and it is their assumption that by that time the anger subsides. In order to forget sorrow, especially women work continuously in the kitchen from morning to night or garden. Some visit temple, mosque, church or such other place of worship in accordance with the religion they follow and share their feelings with God. Some visit their place of liking like river side, beach, hill side, where scenes are good cool fresh wind blows and feel good .We should avoid the company of those in whose company we feel bad and instead choose the company of our near and dear especially when we are disturbed. Farther we move away from mental depression our feelings would be better. As far as possible we should never suppress our feelings.

Suppression of our feelings affects our health adversely. If we suppress our anger, it comes out again in some other way with equal or double vigor. What a relief we would have when we weep and empty our sorrow or share our sorrow with others. Sometimes our feelings like anger become uncontrollable and we lose control over our senses, we would not be aware what we are doing, we become beast and at that moment something untoward sometimes might happen even. If we have more feelings or less feeling both are troublesome. We should have at least some knowledge of human psychology and that would certainly help us a lot to exercise control over our feelings and lead a happy life. Our thinking, feeling, why everything improves provided we have a healthy mind and as we grow, we acquire maturity and become rich in experience in life. There is always a cause for every feeling. A feeling would never unnecessarily arise in us. If we understand the cause and deal with it many of our psychological problems would be solved. If we could not make out why a particular feeling is haunting us, we should consult a psychologist. Hidden feelings or feelings, which are in our sub conscious mind are behind our psychological problems. Pseudo pains are an act of our sub conscious mind. Some feelings like joy, happiness etc are welcomed by everybody and one would like to have them always whereas some feelings like sorrow, pain, etc are unwelcome and nobody likes to have them at any time in their life but we cannot help for feelings do not arise in us as per our desire. When we are overwhelmed by feelings of sorrow or happiness our common sense, presence of mind, decision making etc all get effected or do not work properly, it is better to restrain ourselves at that time and try to attain normalcy before doing anything under such circumstances. It is always better we do introspection from time to time, analyze our feelings and pay attention to others feelings too whenever we come across to know why such feelings arise. That would certainly help us a great deal.

As a matter of routine if we accommodate a feeling, gradually the effect of that particular feeling on us decreases and ultimately either the feeling would not arise or have any effect on us at all. We would be accustomed to it. The saying that too much of familiarly breeds contempt holds good to feelings too. Some feelings need satisfaction; otherwise they keep on coming until we attend to them. Such feelings never leave us so easily. Some times those feelings find their own way to get them satisfied. Certain feelings if not satisfied effect our behavior or in other words affect us psychologically. As we grow, our feelings, views, opinion, etc change and get matured in accordance with our exposure in this world. They do not remain the same.

Rabindranth Tagore in his Kabuliwalah brings out very well as to how the feelings of Kabuliwalah who was in jail and not exposed to outside world towards “Mini” who had now grown up and was getting married remained the same. Tagore is not only a great writer but also a great psychologist too. It is the feeling that does all the magic in our life.It is feelings that lead to opinions. How one opines that he or she is good or bad or that is good and this is bad? Is not only after feeling that he or she is good or bad or that is good and this is bad. Feelings give rise to opinions. There is more to learn than what we have learnt and sky is said to be the limit.