Misunderstanding

Misunderstanding is to take words, statements, etc. of a person in a wrong sense; it is to understand a person wrongly. When and how a misunderstanding arises in a person we cannot say. Misunderstanding depends upon state of mind an individual. Misunderstanding creates gulf. Misunderstanding creates voids. Misunderstanding is responsible for many divorcés. What misunderstanding could do or what misunderstanding could not do one cannot imagine even. It does not matter if one does not understand much whereas whenever one misunderstands it certainly matters. One's words could be misunderstood. One’s action could be misunderstood. One’s inaction could also be misunderstood. In fact, nothing is required sometimes to misunderstand others. At one time or other one have to face misunderstanding in their life for it is difficult to understand and please others completely always. In cricket, especially while taking runs, one of the batsmen gets out whenever there is no perfect understanding among them or whenever misunderstanding arises in them. In real life all those who are involved in misunderstanding have to face the tune how things will shape, we cannot predict. Misunderstanding generally creates problems and at times dangerous too even though it appears to be nothing at the outset but turns out to be dangerous eventually. Misunderstanding is nature of some also. It is difficult to deal with such persons. Understanding others correctly, understanding a situation properly, etc is a great quality but not misunderstanding. Misunderstanding may be due to lack of knowledge even. If somebody does not understand us properly, there is not much of a problem. They may have less capacity to understand. But if they take it in some other sense other than what we actually meant, that misinterpretation is really problematic. If we are understood differently and the relationship gets strained, it is misunderstanding. Sometimes misunderstanding is more and sometimes misunderstanding is less. Understanding properly in all respects can only clear misunderstanding. One who thinks positive would have less or no misunderstanding. One who thinks negatively would have generally more misunderstanding.

Misunderstanding may be due to what we see, or what we listen, or what we speak or what we do. That is why elders say even if we see with our eyes we should not come to any conclusion all of a sudden without ascertaining. There may be reason or reasons behind a misunderstanding. They may be our behavior, our mood that is nothing but our state of mind, etc. They may be single or several. In short, misunderstanding is caused by circumstances; suspicious nature of other or ours, it may be due to a third person or persons like those who read between the lines. We should be careful while dealing with persons who read between the lines especially while talking or writing to them. We should choose our words and speak to them. They give different color to the picture. There is different type of people in world. Some always have the habit of finding fault with others. Some have the bad habit of caring tale from pillar to post. If somebody does not agree with us, there is no problem. Once the misunderstanding arises there is likelihood of its widening day by day. Circumstances may add fuel to the fire and those who want to create rift between us may also take advantage of it. If the misunderstanding is not cleared at the earliest it may widen so much; that it may not be possible to clear it at all at a later date and as a result the relationship may get still worsened and eventually may get broken even. Misunderstanding generally develops like any disease that left to it without being treated becomes deadly or uncontrollable. It should be rooted out at the earliest. When misunderstanding is there, the person who has misunderstood us sees every act of us from a different angle. If we give a smile, he or she would think that it is sarcastically given just to tease them. If something that they anticipate does not come through they think that it is due to our foul play only. Thus we have to bear blame for every thing unnecessarily.

Sometimes misunderstanding remains for a longtime. Sometimes it disappears in no time. Its duration is not fixed. Frank discussions, clarifications clear misunderstandings. Efforts are needed on both sides to clear misunderstandings.

Whenever there is misunderstanding between two, generally it is a third person who benefits. When one realizes it is misunderstanding, generally it is too late. One can only regret or repent for misunderstanding at that stage, damage that misunderstanding causes cannot be generally set right easily at that time. It is difficult to make amends at that time.

There are people who care less for misunderstanding too. They do not mind others misunderstanding them. Such people are generally straight forward. If one has confidence and faith in a person, they do not misunderstand them. More one understands others less there is scope for misunderstanding. Some share their misunderstanding with their confidents whereas some keep their misunderstandings within.

Misunderstanding seldom remains as it is. A misunderstanding causes twists and turns to one's thinking . Left to itself sometimes it develops by leaps and bounds and becomes disastrous. Misunderstanding can be on both the sides. It need not be one sided affair at all. Misunderstanding gives birth to mistrust, misdeed etc. Misunderstanding need not be only among friends. It may be between a father and a son, a husband and a wife, or between brothers, or between sisters, or between neighbors or between colleagues or lovers. Misunderstanding may arise among children to aged, or learned to uneducated. It does not make any differentiation at all. There is no hard and fast rule is there in this respect. It could be between anybody with whom we directly or indirectly have contact. Only thing is that generally those know us well do not misunderstand us so easily and it could be sorted out easily too. If misunderstanding is with a person whom we do not deal much, it does not matter much. But if it is with persons whom we meet daily, with whom we have to deal daily, who are our close or distant relatives or friends, it is better to sort it out at the earliest to avoid complications, conflicts etc arising out of misunderstanding. It is better to nip it in the bud at the beginning itself for it is not possible to predict how the misunderstanding would take its course. We should be more cautious while dealing with people where relationship is already strained; we should not allow the misunderstanding to develop further for that may take the relationship to breaking point. Sometimes misunderstandings lead to tragedies even. Those who have misunderstood us do not come and tell us that they have misunderstood us. Of course, a misunderstanding brings change in their behavior. We would certainly find that their behavior is not normal . We could easily make out that something unusual has happened. We must tactfully elicit the reason for same. If it is nothing serious, we can clarify or console or do necessary amendments or changes and dissolve the misunderstanding once for all. Misunderstanding is a mistake that could be corrected. But it should be corrected at right time and not allowed to grow. But everything is not that easy. We cannot read others mind so easily. We will be in our own world. We take time to realize that we have been misunderstood sometimes; it may be late or too late even. How far the misunderstanding has drifted one another we would not know.

Creating misunderstanding is an art, which one should not own too. Of course, creating misunderstanding between bad elements sometimes becomes a necessity. Narada an ardent devotee of God Vishnu is famous for creating misunderstanding among Gods and others in Hindu mythological volumes and enjoying fun of it. He does everything for the welfare of universe and it is who brings in reconciliation at the end too. But generally in this world whoever who is engaged in creating misunderstanding mostly does it with bad intention only. They are by nature very mean. They bring in disharmony .They enjoy at the cost of others. Some people especially rivals doing same type of business try to create misunderstanding between partners of another firm that is prospering when compared to them. They wait for an opportunity to break the other partnership of another firm and root out the competition once for all. One of the tools used for this purpose is creating misunderstanding between partners. It is difficult to imagine to what low level they would stoop in this regard. If one of the partners of the targeted firm purchases a property out of his own funds they would make other partners of that firm believe that the funds of firm were diverted for the purpose. Their success in creating misunderstanding depends on the vulnerability of partners of prospering firm. Thus there is every probability others taking advantage or benefit out of misunderstanding among us. This is only an example there are numerous instances where in misunderstanding are created by others. Some people cannot tolerate anybody who lives happily, cordially; jovially they derive pleasure in creating misunderstanding among such people. This may be due to their jealous nature or they may be sadistic. Misunderstanding is like eczema. It goes on spreading though not on body but in our day-to-day life and creates unrest. It creates unnecessary displeasure, sorrow etc. where there is happiness. We should not allow it to grow at the outset itself. We should nip it as far as possible in the bud itself. We should come out openly and discuss and sort it out. We should avoid as far as possible misunderstanding on our part. We should not give room for it at all. Of course everything is not in one hand as more than one person is involved in it. Longer we keep reason or reasons for misunderstanding, which has occurred within in us harder, would be the task of sorting it out. In a family, if there is misunderstanding between husband and wife, the happiness of family gets affected and children have to suffer for no fault of theirs.

Many times kindness is misunderstood as weakness. If a person talks less, has reserved nature, does not mix much with other people, we misunderstand them as egoistic or good for nothing etc. but they may be very good at heart, and quite capable also. Our thinking may be totally wrong. Unless, we study and understand a person fully, we should not jump into a sudden conclusion. Some of the successful persons in this world are of that nature and they talk less, are reserved; do not mix much with other people etc. When we come to know their true colors only we realize that we had misunderstood them. Appearances are always deceptive. Whenever misunderstanding ends, generally it ends with a happy note. How long misunderstanding prevail nobody can predict, it may end early, it may prolong for a long period or may not end at all. It all depends on circumstances and nature of persons involved etc. If a person has inferiority complex, he or she would always fear that whether somebody would misunderstand them.

Misunderstanding generally never brings one another closer on the contrary it drifts one another apart. Most quarrels amplify a misunderstanding. A work or project never progresses smoothly if there is misunderstanding among those who are involved in it. Further,their profitable ventures may run into red due to the rivalry or unhealthy competition, which arises due to misunderstanding. They do not understand that there is strength in unity. Where there is misunderstanding there is every possibility everything going awry. If there is misunderstanding between two oxen tied to a cart, the cart will be pulled in different directions and consequences one can imagine and same is the case with humans also. Misunderstanding vitiates atmosphere and creates disharmony where everything was running smoothly and efficiently. We should be alert and have reins over our scruples otherwise that is what happens. The bad elements always wait in the wings for opportunities to create misunderstanding and get benefited at somebody’s cost.

Normally misunderstanding occurs on trifle matters and only on a few occasions on serious matters. Even misunderstanding at the beginning seems to be nothing we simply brush it off but as it grows we realize our foolishness of doing it so. Similarly its consequences at the beginning are less and normally do not effect us much and we do not realize that there is misunderstanding. Only when consequences come in our way we understand that something has gone wrong and open our eyes. Misunderstanding is always dangerous and harmful provided we allow it to grow. It never does well but on the contrary it does always bad and leads to divorces, breaking up of alliances, breaking up of businesses, spoiling of relationships etc. It is aggrieved who can enlighten us more and better in this regard than anybody else. They give a detailed account of how they suffered why they suffered what all happened etc and as a result we may get a few tips to avoid misunderstanding in our life. Experience is the best teacher. Prevention is always better than cure. In order to distance misunderstanding, we must be careful while expressing our views or making statements. We must choose proper words and phrases on those occasions. There should be no ambiguity at that time. Moreover in our behavior or conduct also we should be always polite courteous and diplomatic.