New moon day was fast approaching, not even a single star was visible in the vast sky above. Darkness had spread all over and it was immensely dark. It was a horror spreading terrifying night. Everywhere there was pin drop of silence except occasional spine chilling barking of street dogs in peculiar manner. Anxiety was mounting every second and my heart beating was accelerating minute by minute. I was coming across only bad omens. Nothing was auguring well. A feeling that something bad would take place soon arose in me. Telephone started ringing intermittently. When I lifted it, I came to know that she had breathed her last. She was no more. It was an end to an episode. Though death is common, it always keeps one in suspense. It often arrives without a prior intimation. Nobody believed when I said that she had passed away. Not even her neighbor Mrs. Mangamma.She shot back and said that she had talked to her only half an hour back. She was hale and healthy said Mrs. Narayanamma, another neighbor. In fact they had forgotten all the squabbles that had taken place in their long association with her. On the contrary they were lamenting that their confident with whom they used to share various matters was no more. Of course, some matters that they shared were trifle and some were important. They were full of praise for her. They were praising not only traits that were in her but also those that were not imbibed in her too. It was a sudden death. Death had taken her by surprise. She had not anticipated it. She had a heart failure. There was nobody else in the house at that time. She could not either utter her last words or share her last thoughts with anybody. A half drunk coffee cup was lying on the table of her house. Rice and half boiled vegetables were in the cooker that was on the gas stove in the kitchen. Incidentally she was preparing food for the supper. Spectacles had fallen from her body and were lying on the kitchen floor with its glasses broken. The clock on the wall was making tick tick sound without bothering what had taken place there. A few only realize one’s importance when they are amongst them. More often ones importance is felt only when they are not amongst us forever. One can only seldom expect death to be merciful to anybody. None had anticipated this fatal blow so soon at all. It was end of an episode. She had enacted her role fully in life drama. Of course, she had several unfinished tasks and unfulfilled desires.
As soon as we come to know of one's demise, if we know them well we begin to recollect our association with them. Scenes of our association appear before our eyes and dart too.Communication is very fast in 21st century and news can reach any corner of the globe within a few minutes these days. The news of a death by and large initially spurts with a gossip.There afterwards in no time it spreads over like a wild fire everywhere. Only after a few minutes on 11th September 2001 when two twin towers of World Trade Center were struck by terrorists, television started showing them burning to the world. Soon after demise of a person, people start assembling at the place where death has taken place. When somebody dies generally all sorts of people gather. They gather there with different purposes. Some just come and go. Some come to know who the dead person is. Some come to know the cause of death. Some come to pay homage to the departed soul. Some come to make available their services. I stood before the corpse with all my respects to the departed lady. The body was draped in a white cloth. Only face and feet were visible for a glimpse. Whether one is dead or alive, it is not easy to make out one’s age easily these days. Now a days, we find everywhere equal number of beauty parlors as well as hair cutting saloons irrespective of whether a place is a small town or a city. Dyeing of hair to appear as young as possible is common nowadays especially among aged. Similarly, one would like to have dentures also to look smarter and younger. Though one is aged, they do not like to appear as old. On the other hand, they not only try to conceal their age and but also try to appear as youthful as possible. They are not at all ready to accept reality. World is strange. It was difficult to make out her age. I gathered that she was about 70 years old.
There was peace and tranquility on her face. Her eyes remained closed. There was cotton in her nostrils. Her entire body was decked in flowers leaving only her face exposed. Turmeric,and kumkumam was pasted all over her small face. It was in permanent sleep. Nobody could disturb it. Mentally one may feel death many times in their life but physically one dies once and only once in their life.Though everybody knows pretty well the fact that no amount of tears would bring back the dead, majority of people shed tears, cry, weep and sometimes lose control over their senses also when somebody who is near and dear to them departs. Sometimes, it is even not possible to control or console many of them under such circumstances. It is unburdening their feelings. The dead body does not respond even a little to their abundant grief. It is just like crying over split milk. Yet, nobody can treat a death as a routine affair. Shakespeare saw the world as a large theatre. Even after a reference to character of Queen in his great play “Hamlet” also,we can conclude that crying when somebody who is dear is dead is not generally a drama. It is by and large real shedding of tears from bottom of a heart.
When one becomes old, when somebody of their generation expires,they visualize depletion of their generation. They visualize number of their friends and relatives who belonged to their generation declining and their circle shrinking. They realize that their turn to step into a grave is not far off. Atmosphere in a house where a death has taken place is always totally different. Atmosphere there would be always tense and gloomy.We find odor of camphor and incense sticks spread all over there. It is a sorrowful scene. We do not find a smile on any single face there. Everybody there remains tense and tries to maintain pin drop silence.
All near and dear had come to have a last glimpse. Some of them were from far off places and some were from nearby place. Some were silently sobbing and some loudly. Here also atmosphere was serene.They seem to have understood that one must share not only happiness with others but also share grief that others have.
One need not be necessarily educated to be philosophical. Both educated as well as uneducated become philosophical in their life due to circumstances. Philosophy of life that one day or other we have also bid adieu to this world came to my mind also. I remembered a song from Shivaji Ganeshan’s Parthal Pashithirum namely “Needuvare uravi, uruvare manavi, kaduvare pillai, kadashivare yaro” That was a beautiful Tamil movie song meaning that as long as we are alive there is earth, thereafter till the door of house wife accompanies us, son leaves us at the burial ground who is there for us till the end., Death is described in innumerable ways. Death is said to be a relief from all the miseries. When one goes to burial or funeral ground one get certain feelings like there is nothing in life etc. and those feelings are temporary or momentary and thereafter one forgets them. Therefore that is known as “Smashana Vairagyam”. It is said in Kannada “Sharanara savannu maranadallikanu” which means what type of a person one is or how one has led his or her life we can come to know by the way one’s demise takes place. All these thoughts hovered in my mind. It is the time when one generally recollects about the dead. It is the day when even an enemy forgets his or her enmity and recollects something good about the dead. It is the last day or penultimate day in one’s life. One by one events of her life appeared before my eyes. Curtain had fallen. An episode had come to an end. One thinks or remembers about a dead person for sometime only. Gradually, a dead person is forgotten. He or she becomes a memory only. World remembers only a great person
A lady who dies when her husband is alive is considered fortunate by Hindus. She is called sumangali also. Her both sons had a bath. They wore new “ dhotis “ They covered their faces with white cloth. The body was given a bath by them and draped in white cloth. Everybody who gathered there paid their last respects by placing wreaths. All the close relatives poured holy water of Ganges into the mouth of the deceased. The dead body was unaware of whatever that had taken place there. Feelings do not emanate from it. It never reacts. The body was slowly shifted to a stretcher for carrying it to crematorium. The stretcher was prepared with plantain leaves and bamboos. The youngest carried the fire to light the pyre. Municipal van had come to take the body to the crematorium. Amidst chanting of Ram nam sathya hai body was lifted into a van. Earlier, a dead body used to be carried to crematorium over shoulders of at least four people by foot and crematorium used to be nearby. But now a day we do not find crematoriums nearby. Moreover in this busy world we do not find sometimes people also to attend to this task. At crematorium the body was placed into an electric furnace and in no time the body turned into bones and ashes and Latha became only a memory.
Whether one is born rich or born poor, life is not a smooth ride at all. Life does not progress at a stretch. Life cycle progresses stage by stage. There is no guarantee that one would pass through all the stages of life that a normal life has. Nobody knows the length of their life. Length of life is not at all fixed. Length of life of some people is long and length of life of some is short. Life of a man can come to an end at any stage. Here, life of Latha came to end at an appropriate time.
Every death tells a story. Many lessons are to be learnt from every life. I could recollect life of Latha. Latha had passed S.S.L.C from Maharanis High school, Mysore in 1951. She was an average student. To her ill luck, her father was transferred to Gangulli that year. There was no college at that place at that time. Moreover, in those days ladies were not generally sent to other places for higher education for they had to stay at somebody’s house or at a hostel. Further in those days there were a few lady hostels and they were confined to some cities only. Why in some of the districts head quarters there was no First Grade college during that period. I studied Intermediate at Hassan between1956 and 1958. At that time, there was not only First Grade College was not there but also there was no proper building for intermediate college too.
In short, she could not pursue her studies for she belonged to a family which was very large and she had also younger brothers and sisters to be educated too. She was only seventeen years old then. Though not very beautiful, Latha was fair. She was short in stature. She was good at stitching and embroidery etc. Unfortunately for her, her father Raghu was seriously sick in1952. As a result, the family could not even think of her marriage until 1955. Even at that time, it was her mother Laxmi had to take an initiative for the marriage. Laxmi was not only uneducated but also was not a smart and intelligent lady. She was not a capable woman meant for searching a suitable bridegroom. Her only consideration for agreeing to proposal received from Mohan’s father Govind Rao was that Govind Rao was a rich planter and her daughter need not worry for food and clothing. She also agreed that she would give in dowry silver vessels, gold, saris etc as she had offered to her other daughters in their marriage.
During those days family planning was hardly practiced. A family used to be so large in those days that it could have easily formed a cricket team with its members. Laxmi was mother of about a dozen children. Poor illiterate lady Laxmi was lacking common sense even. She did not realize that she might have to give same quantum of dowry that she had agreed in case of Latha to her remaining unmarried daughters. In those days mostly arranged marriages used to take place. In the beginning exchange of horoscopes used to take place between girl’s side and boy’s side. Before the exchange of horoscopes, both sides used to generally ensure that the boy and the girl belonged to different gothras. Then, only if horoscopes were tallied, further talks used to take place between girl’s side and boy’s side to discuss about dowry and other matters. Only after various matters were settled, alliance used to be arrived at. There used to be many occasions where a boy had not seen a girl or a girl had seen the boy before a marriage. Sometimes, not even exchange of their photographs used to take place in such cases. Even their mutual consent in the matter was not at all sought. Virtually, in those days a boy or a girl had a little say in their own marriage. Elders used to decide everything and their decision in the matrimonial matters were final. Moreover, either a boy or a girl was not generally raising any objection in these matters . A boy or a girl was obeying their elders without any grumbling mutely.
In case of this alliance, Latha had seen Mohan earlier. In fact, Mohan was residing near her house when her family was at Thirthhalli in 1945. He was son of a rich planter. He was blackish in color and short in stature. He was not handsome. He was neither good at studies nor was he interested in studies. His world was different. With great difficulties he studied up to S.S.L.C. but could not pass the same. Here I remember what my colleague Mr.Shetty used to say. Mr. Shetty often used to say that his wife was not at all beautiful but her nature was commendable. He was terming her nature as golden. Of course beauty is God given but conduct and behavior belong to us. Mohan had no either decent looks or decent behavior also. Mohan's appearance was such that nobody would have surely formed any good opinion about him. A casual look at him was enough for one to realize what type of a person he was. Moreover, Govind Rao's character was also no better. He had at least half a dozen illegal relationships. It was common with rich people in that part of Malanad in those days. Even in Gangolli we used to find many rich people having such extra marital affairs. Mohan was a chip of old block. Here Mohan was either handsome or had any good qualities except that he had one good habit that was to collect, bind nicely and preserve magazines like Chandamama. Further mostly we find that those who have character like Mohan and Govind Rao have a long life. A little intelligent woman would not have given her daughter in marriage to Mohan. In this connection, I remember what elders say. They were of the opinion that more than anything one should give importance and know the details of the family with which they contemplate alliance while looking for a bride or a bridegroom. Here none of these aspects were taken care of. Unfortunately for Latha, astrologers also did not foretell any unfavorable predictions. Horoscopes tallied with one another in all respects. They did not create any hitch even. Marriages are made in heaven. Latha's marriage was celebrated in 1955 with pomp and grandeur at Gangolli.
Whether it is a man or a woman real life begins to them only after their marriage.The duties of husband and wife are different and they come into force only after marriage. Husband and wife , their families all have immense expectations about a married life. Different types of lessons emerge only after marriage. A marriage certainly gives rise to different environment at a home. Environment at home seldom remains as before after marriage. Life after marriage is definitely more difficult and complicated than life before marriage. It is husband and wife who can make life after marriage either a heaven or a hell. Both husband and wife must be very careful in their talk and behavior after marriage. They cannot talk and behave carelessly as they were before. Environment after marriage is generally more sensitive. It is their mindset that would affect their life after marriage. It is mind set of wife who has grown in a different environment is more important after marriage. Some say life after marriage depends upon stars of both husband and wife. One thing is certain that one's responsibilities increase more after their marriage. It is after marriage only one thinks of their house, their children, children's education and health. Misunderstandings between husband and wife arise only after marriage. After marriage only normally rift arises in a family.There is a saying that number of men can live together but not two women can live together. Number of people who are happy after marriage is certainly not more than number of those who are unhappy after their marriage. But life is not complete without a marriage.
I was a school going boy at that time marriage of Latha and Mohan. I remember to have even overheard public saying that it was not a suitable match. Really, Latha was very unfortunate. It was the time when construction of dam across Tunga River was just over at Gajnur. Latha and Mohan began their married life at Gajnur camp. It was a beautiful natural resort. Everything was calm and quiet. But life was not for Latha. Within a month or so Mohan had sent her to Gangolli for getting some amount from his ailing father in law. By that time he had disposed off silver utensils gifted in marriage. According to him his stars were always bad. If he had made this statement once or twice in his life, I would have believed it. Mohan seldom had good thoughts. Always bad thoughts haunted his mind. He had more vices than virtues. He never aimed sincerely and honestly at anything good instead he was always indulged in something bad. He was sexually perverted. Such a person cannot distinguish who is a sister, who is a daughter and who is a mother. If Mohan were in some western country he would have been certainly booked under Lewd Act. In short ,Latha’s life was full of miseries.
Here, I remember Bhaskarmam. Bhaskarmam was an officer at local Peoples Bank. He had many shortcomings. He was talking too much without any restraint. He had no control over himself or his tongue. He was fond of reading vulgar literature and listening to rubbish . One of the ways of winning his friendship and confidence was supplying him vulgar literature to read and talking with him rubbish. Mohan was also a small savings collector of Peoples Bank for sometime. Mohan was perverted intelligent fellow also. He could make out shortcomings of Bhaskarmam. He supplied vulgar literature to Bhaskarmam from time to time. He won the confidence of Bhaskarmam. Bhaskarmam used to sign small savings receipts without verification. In financial dealings there should be always strict control and no loopholes whatsoever are to be allowed. Due to laxity of Bhaskarmam, Mohan was able to misappropriate small savings collection. Fortunately, Mohan made good misappropriated amount by sale of one of his properties. Hence, lapses of Mohan and Bhaskarmam were not seriously treated bank or people.
Older changeth yielding place to new. One by one started leaving this world. Raghu was first to breath his last. It was a blessing in disguise to Mohan. Though his father-in –law’s family was in dire straits, he tried to exploit them to the maximum instead of helping them in any way. Laxmi had to take care of Latha every time when she became pregnant. Mohan was favorite son-in-law to poor ignorant Laxmi. He was her choice for her daughter you know. She used to believe whatever he used to say. Mohan lost more than what he earned. He had no regular assured income at all. He was not either qualified to get a suitable job or capable running a business also. He used to borrow money from private money lenders at exorbitant rates of interest. The purpose of those loans he only knew. Certainly those loans were not for any good purpose. Gradually, he lost one by one everything even his share of Govind Rao’ s estate. Latha also did not use her scruples. She could have taken up some employment and brought up her children in a better manner when her husband was no good. She did not do that. Instead, she was always roaming here and there wiling away her time. If one roams unnecessarily, they would be looked upon with scant respect. I could have understood this if it were Laxmi who was an illiterate and ignorant woman. But I could not understand why Latha who was amply educated led life in that haphazard manner. She could have definitely led a better life and brought up her children in a better manner too. Either education or age did not mold her. Only some people change with time.
Utmost care is essential for upbringing up of children. Proper upbringing up of children is always necessary. Otherwise children become no better than children on a street. It is preparing children to face their life. Upbringing up of children is duty of every parents too. It needs intense efforts. Either Latha or Mohan paid much attention to upbringing of their children. Both husband and wife never used to miss a new movie. Even though, they had no money to meet many essential requisites of their family, they seldom missed any new movie that was screened. In fact this is a craze which we often find now a day among many old and young couples. She was an idle and lazy woman. She was not combing her hair or dressing herself properly. She was not taking much care of her children too. She was leaving them in one or another relative's house. One would oblige that once or twice in case of some urgency as it would not matter them very much. Otherwise it would be surely a nuisance to them. They would not tolerate it. They would start treating them with scant respect. Thus husband and wife hardly commanded any respect in the society. The husband and wife exploited Laxmi to the maximum possible extent. Latha used to chit chat here and there and wile away her time. If husband and wife sailed in the same boat, it was children who would suffer the most. There were some good qualities in Latha. She always tried to help others. In the process sometimes unnecessarily she was getting herself into one or another muddle.
When one’s character and conduct are not good, they not only do not command respect of their children but also they do not have moral authority to advise their children whenever children tread a wrong path. In fact, children look down upon such parents with scant respect. In case of Mohan too, he was looked down upon by his children with scant respect.
This episode would not come definitely to an end if I go on elaborating. Days do not remain as they are. All the three children of Latha grew up and were happily married and were well settled in life. As one gets older, generally one gets wiser. A lot of changes take place in them in many respects. However, I did not perceive any change in Mohan. He remained as he was before. He had completed 75 years of age. By and large Latha and her children had suffered a lot in life on account of him. However Latha was fortunate. Latha's role in the episode had come to an end. Let her soul rest in peace in heavenly abode.