October 2010
Oct. 30th, 2010 (backtrack entry--)
Today was a wonderful day. We went got a garage door opener and a bunch of other stuff. Took possession of our new home and things went great. But Something spiritual happened today that I want to share with you. It was a true wonder of the nature of the universe in all it's little glory. Love & Humor.
A long while ago'(Journal entry 9/27);.... When I was really new to my Erik experiences; during a time of fear and confusion; I had a conscious "vision" of Meher Baba, an Indian mystic, Who told me, "Do not fear, do not be afraid".
AND after right after that I wrote about how Erik brought me my old coworker A--- who had recently died. AND, About how while we not friends, and indeed I'd once or twice participated in mean gossip; I was indeed quite very fond of her and liked her. And that I was very saddened by her passing.
Well,.... and that she was the last person/ spirit I'd ever expect to hear from. And I didn't know why Erik was bringing her to me..... She confirmed some of the things Erik had been telling me about what I'd been going through. I'd have to go back to that journal entry to recall exactly... But it was spiritual. Anyway...her visit was another fully awake vision, moving technicolor. Right down to her colorful sweater! She told me that she knew what I'd said about her, and she forgave me, and loved me anyway.
WELLL.... GUESS WHAT!!! I never did understand why she came to me, why Erik helped facilitate that...
Wellll.... Guess who my new next door neighbor is !!!! IT"S HER OLD HOUSE!!! Her daughter and grand-babies live there!!!!..
When I met them all at the house; it was instant report. And we were exchanging info., like where we worked. And I found out that it was her daughter! My co-worker poped back into my head, and it was like the entire universe and Heaven was giggling with GLEE at the wonderfulness of it all.
You should have heard the laughing!! IT WAS AWESOME.... The love and happiness and laughing coming across the voids was so amazing. My old co-worker said, "I am still here! I am here for my grand-babies!" She and Erik and all those in our Ethereal gang already knew this might happen. And it was going to be grand fun if it came to pass.
THOSE SNEAKS!!! My old co-worker said, "they always knew this all might be a possibility. That if I did certain things, if that happened this then this might happen, then that might happen".
There is truly no coinky-dinks.... Life is an endless circle of interconnections. Love, life, hope, joy, sorrow, forgiveness, and personal power for evolving. Those sneaks....
Erik's mom jokes about "letting Erik loose on the world".... ummm. excuse me, the way I now see it, Erik AND our-higher selves were already plotting behind our mortal coil self's... and have been before we were born!! Gosh darn it...It's like their hiding the monopoly money. I don't know who's cheating at the great game, THEM or US?
I love them all so much. It's like the universe was sneaking up on me with a woopie cushion and then grabbed me for a hug.
Lots of love
Oct. 31, 2010
Happy Halloween, I am taking a brief Hiatis to move house
Journal entry: Oct. 28th.
I cant believe I almost forgot. Check out this blog entry over at the Channeling Erik site. And then look at all the comments. Erik--- Phone Home! ha ha...
http://www.channelingerik.com/erik-phone-home/
Oct 27
Erik, Phone Home?
The weirdest thing just happened while I was practicing my channeling with Erik. I had told my brain to “shut down,” a command it obeys only with great reluctance, then proceeded with my usual greetings of love, gratitude and longing. No sooner had I posed my first few questions than the phone rang, interrupting my focus. I felt really irritated by the intrusion, because it seems to happen like clockwork. The phone will be completely silent until I begin to channel. Furthermore, I felt even more frustrated when I saw “Unavailable” on the caller ID. Fuming, I waited until whatever message the telemarketer was going to leave on my answering machine. But what I heard made my heart stop. Although there was some static, I heard the following in what seemed to be Erik’s voice: “Hey, it’s Erik. It’s Erik.” Then the line disconnected. I raced over to the machine to replay the message and the message count read “0.” Frantically, I pushed the “Play messages” button anyway and heard, “You have no new messages.” Why hadn’t what I clearly heard been recorded? That machine records everything, even the dial tone when the caller fails to hang up within a millisecond following my greeting. Dialed the number on the caller ID and received the message, “The number you have dialed is out of service.” Looking for some sort of angelic message, I added up the digits of the number and that sum is 55, my age. That might be a stretch, but seriously, Erik!!!! Leave a freakin’ message next time, Boy!!!
Here is the rest of the story
From Robert
*****
Say…your phone called me today…I kept saying hello…then I realized you and Matt were somewhere carrying on a conversation so I hung up. At first I thought you’d accidentally did a “butt dial”, but I spoke to Elisa and she said your phone called Matt too. Elisa asked if it was Erik and he popped in to say he was “Guilty! I was Fucking around with his phone.”. HA! :-)
From me to both him and Elisa
**
Erik and the cell phone monsters!. Everyone gets a phone for halloween!
Um.. Omg.. Yea.. Um.. It was Erik because I do not carry my phone in my pants! EVER! I always carry it in my book bag or loose in a big baggy coat pocket.And when one is not actively using the phone it “locks” automatically! And you are not on quick dial!!! They went into the phone. I LUB them all so much. Those sneaks!! :) You should have heard the telepathic laughter! It was AWESOME!
Elisa says:
Haha little stinker!!
Robert says:
LOL!! That was a wild day! Erik was really enjoying himself! :-)
Journal entry: Oct. 29, 2010
Someone asked, how do you know all your experiences are not in your head. That's it's not just your imagination or wishful thinking.
It's a fair question. One that is important. The answer is I don't. I just have faith that what I experience is real. We all have a choice in what we believe and how we apply it to our lives. I certainly don't want to impose my opinions on anyone. Or even say that my path is right for anyone else. But for me; after exploring science, psychology, religion there came a point I had to just surrender to the idea that i was on a Spiritual experience and let it happen. My way does not have to be your way. I can only tell you what I experience and how I view those experiences.
Throughout human history. Mankind has sought to make interpretations that would give meaning to the world around them. How to interpret the data. From Shamanism, to ancient religions, to modern religions. A millions views. Then there is science, theories, proofs, data. Psychology, the intrigues of the human mind. A powerful tool where psychosomatic experiences can prove as powerful as biochemicals. Then there is the things in-between. Pseudo science, metaphysics, afterlife explorers. All of these another million views. Take all that and mix. A never ending circle within circles of human experiences. How does one make sense of it all. What DO we believe. How do we apply any of it to our lives. What is the way? What is the best religion?
The most proper answer for me is, the path that is best for anyone is that which brings you closer to whatever you believe in. How can any of us judge another feelings on belief. And just what is belief. Is it imagination? Is it something more subtle that you feel in your bones? Or is is only physically experienced. And if so how? Is it the same for you in church; or you while meditating; or the woman seeing Madonna in the clouds? or me thinking I talk to dead people? Does it matter?
Or, is what truly matters... is what we take from the experience? How do we apply this to our life?
Journal entry: Oct. 26th, 2010
*Preface:-- This entry is deeply private. I apologise if it offends, or does not agree with your beliefs. I just want/ need an outlet. Thank you.
Where to begin? I don't even know how to start this journal entry. I was up past midnight crying. And this morning trying to keep a straight face and dry eye. My family is not an emotional one. Never let them see you sad, never show tears, kill-em with smiles and wait them out. Stiff necked survivors of pain. That sort of thing is to be kept behind closed doors in private. So this is a pretty hard entry for me. Because the emotions I am feeling right now are hard to describe. I am trying so hard to not let the world see what I am feeling. Because if someone were to ask me, "wha's wrong-are you ok?" How on earth do you tell them, "No, I am not ok-A dead guy hurt my feelings and traumatized me". In the end, I am OK, and the situation has worked out for the good. It shows the world that life is eternal and we are spirit beings on an earthy journey. That even in Spirit we are not perfect. And even then we struggle to do the right thing, to learn and grow. To love and live.
To show you what happened, I am going to start with a flash back overview of my childhood. In many regards my life from birth to puberty was an ideal one. The "cleavers", apple pie, mac n cheese, glorious Americana. My mom was a stay at home mom, and we lead an extremely full life. I was deeply sheltered in an Evangelical protestant community. It was deeply spiritual, and a very tight knit community. There was not much life outside it. My life consisted of church 3 or more times a week plus going to a religious school. From a child on the inside, this was wonderful. There were no inharmonious events. We all fit into specific little categories in the wide universe; in the community; in it's subgroups; in my own family. I was born deeply spiritual. Let me try to explain. I became a born again at 5. I was very bright and was fully aware of all the concepts that pertained to, even at that early age. At 9 I read at a college level. I sucked at math, but my grasp of big concepts was excellent. Only a few years after that I'd read most of the Bible and could debate most issues with adults.
I carried this into my adolescence where I was soon to be devastated by 3 things. The first was my parents getting a divorce. I won't get into it, as that's another huge drama into itself. Only I'll say it was long and ugly in every imaginable way. The second thing was an awareness or awakening of what gay was, and that, that was part of who I was. My story in that regard was nothing special or unusual. If I tell you the revelation of that fact did not go down well; I am sure you can imagine all the possible things that means. And you'd be correct. Lastly the final event that altered the course of my life from that point forward was my awakening to the paranormal.
I've mentioned that all my life I've experienced the paranormal. What I mean by that, is that as a baby and toddler; I had invisible friends. Both people and animals. To be honest. I don't remember them. But my mother swears it to be so. But this 3rd event happened at the cusp of adolescence. Like I said, I was a deeply spiritual child. At the time, I knew absolutely nothing about the paranormal. There was only Jesus or the devil. I thought each soul was born anew and upon death you waited until the final judgment where you would be drug out of the earth for final judgment and then heaven would be nothing but winged angles, harps and rapturous mindless worship of God. If you had looked me in the eye and asked if I believed in ghosts I would have given you a confused blank stare.
Well, in any case-- I had reached a point in in my adolescence where I strongly felt I was being called to be a missionary to try convert the mindless heathens of the 3rd world. Part of that I'll confess I'd romanticized the idea and found adventure in it all. But at the time I thought it was a most noble and spiritual prospect. So I formally announced such to my parents and church. I don't recall the details as it was quite a long time ago now. But it was a very significant event.
During that day's sleep, at night; I had my first negative paranormal experience. It was to influence, color, and flavor the entire rest of my life up until last night. I'll start by a description of it. And an alternate explanation.
To some "materialists" and or scientists/professionals what I experienced falls into what is known as sleep paralysis. And that it was simply a chance/random freaky event that is common to the human brain/body experience. But I never believed that. And would be willing to bet the lives of myself and everyone I know on it.
So anyway; That night my thoughts and whole being vibrated with this new missionary zeal. I fell asleep with the rapture of it all. That night I awoke in the middle of the night. There was a presence pressing down on my body. I had a hard time moving. My room was lit up with a strange light. I opened my eyes and saw a rolling crackling cloud of viscus energy. It was in motion with lights, flares of streaming vapor and flashes. The colors were yellow, green, white and blue. Waves of emotion washed over me from it. I tried to cry out but couldn't. I struggled and fought. I'd never felt such fear in my life before. I had no clue what was going on. Only that I was awake and felt trapped. To me, it was more real than anything I'd ever experienced up to that point. I no longer recall how it departed or went away, But obviously I managed to go back to sleep.
The next week, during Sunday lunch I told my mother about it. And how it happened after my spiritual decision. At the time through her influence I was led to believe that the devil wasn't happy with my decision and was out to get me. So for the rest of my adolescence and well into adulthood I was traumatized with fear. I took to placing a picture of Jesus in my room and strategically placing Bibles about my room. Up until this year I was absolutely terrified of the dark. I would refuse to sleep alone in the house without all the lights on. I don't think there has been a month of my life since where I have not thought of that event.
Well....as far as the rest of my life up until today... Either I've already told you about it, or you can read some of it in previous entries. But as far as this experience goes...... Last night out of the blue I was given a resolution to it.
---------------------
Ok flash forward to present day. I've developed a friendship with Robert. It's an odd one that centers around this dis-incarnate being, who in his most recent life was called Erik. As it turns out Robert, Erik, his earthly family and I are all a part of a big Spiritual family. One which is complicated by the veil around this life, this place, this time that causes us to temporarily forget who and what we are for the benefit of spiritual growth in a wider universe and "real" reality.
Now my growing relationship with Robert has been interesting. To be quite honest while I find value in our friendship because I now have someone who also has spiritual/paranormal experiences to share; I often find my self craving friendship with Robert without Erik. I find myself just wanting to hang out in the normal day to day mundane things of daily life. I know this all sounds strange to be telling you about, but I am trying set up for what's to come next. I have a lot of intellectual curiosity when it comes to the paranormal. I don't just want to know about peoples emotional experiences. I want to know all the how's-why's- and what of the experience. I want to pick it apart and try to learn how it works. I want to know about energy transference, how much, where, when. What cells, what nerves, when energy, how how how. I want to color in the map. And I want someone to talk with it about to. Well, that all sounds really one sided and selfish. But that has been my mindset off an on. I apologise to anyone I came across as cold to.
Ok so back to Robert. I like to bounce ideas off him. So lately I've been thinking about the years Erik was alive in relation to my years here on earth. I was 16 when he was born to Elisa. I've thinking about what all that means. And thinking a whole lot about "What-if's" . What would my life have been like had he not died. Would we have crossed paths? What would his life have been like? What would I have done had we not reconnected like we have? What was his life in Spirit like in the 16 years from the time I was born to the time he was born. What did he do? What does that all mean?
Sooo.... Here is the email I wrote Robert. I was simply hoping for some cute feedback along the lines of "yea I wondered that too!" "I bet he stole our toys and ate our food--ha ha"
******************
"Robert,
So I was looking at one of Eriks photos and thinking. OMG, he is so young in 2003, and then I thought about when he was actually born to Elisa I was --years old. Right around that time, shortly before is when I had my first terrifying paranormal experience. Which made wonder, what was Erik doing in the time when I was born in 19-- to the point he was born? Was he looking in on me and you? Did we have some sort of extra protection and guidance from him until he was born again?
Have you ever wondered that?
******************
His reply:
******************
I never wondered that, but he's popping in to provide answers...
Prior to our births, we did hang around each other. Most spirits who share a lot of lives together do that because they consider each other like family. He also did observe us when we were little, until near the time for him to be born. Erik's saying he didn't offer any extra protection, as at that time he wasn't a guide or guardian so it wasn't for him to do. He also says he did have something to do with your first negative paranormal experience, but it was ultimately part of your lessons. He's saying at the time you were 14 or 15. He'd been hounding your guides to be the first to make that sort of contact because he missed the company and him being the first meant a lot to him. Unfortunately he freaked you out a whole lot in the process. Your guides got a little pissed because he went overboard. He never meant to scare you. That time was the only time it was him. He is saying he's been hoping you'd bring this up, because he knows since you and he have hooked up again it has been a passing thought now and then. He's saying the paranormal experiences you've had weren't all him, though, and they were necessary to put you on the path of our true nature...to question what you were told from others...to question religious dogma...and also to help you eventually get over fear and anxiety about it, as those types of emotions can manifest negative experiences. Your guides want you to know that they would have never allowed you to be harmed by any lower energy spirit, or any spirit for that matter. Erik's now saying "yeah bro...we always got your back! trust in us old lady!".
That was all he had to say. It was more than I thought would come through...I was just gonna say I never thought about it before. :-). Hope it was helpful. As I wrote this, I reverted to doubting myself and Erik stopped me and said take it all out...then it got out of that state, asked him again, and he clarified that my doubt was causing his message to get muddled, so we started over. I feel better now. Anyways, he's asking that you not be mad at him...you know what a practical joker he is!
**********************
This reply was and is the current and literal shock of my life. I can't stop tearing up and shaking when I think about it. Robert only directly channeled part of his letter. What he's not picking up on upon at the time of writing his reply is the history and the seriousness of it all.
As I read this reply via cell phone in bed in the dark, I just burst into tears. I was a wash of emotion. A combination of pain, betrayal, hurt, and at the same time relief, joy, understanding and forgiveness. I don't know how to describe the first part of those feelings to you. To relay the intensity of it all. The closest I can come is to liken it to,... ' say as a child someone broke into your house and accidentally killed your dog. And only as an adult you discover that it was your drunken father who left you and your mother.' And at the same time.... It's like a band-aid and stitches finally was able to stitch up a gaping hole in your side. And you just know it's all going to be OK now.
So I lay there in bed, and kept getting up to go to the bathroom and silently sob. Because I didn't want to try to explain how my dis-incarnate brother hurt my feelings. Or how that I could see him kneeling in my minds eye being held by Jennifer crying with the situation, asking me to forgive me. Or how grim my guides looked at that moment and the protective vibes I was getting from them. The feeling of protection was so strong I think I could have walked through a burning house and not have come to harm. Or how my dead grandfather then came to me to hold me and tell me how he wished he had know what I had gone through. And how I told him, "how could I have told you, you'd have thought me crazy". And how he just gave me the vision of me as a small child and him holding me in his arms.
I am not mad at Erik, I was just feeling really hurt; although I did want to call him a few choice words last night. I am OK now. And I do know about and understand a lot more about things than I let on-on this website. But I feel like I've been through hell and back sometimes, and to find out that my life started with Erik and he's influenced my life all the way to the present (I am sure with my past encouragement), well, It's all just a bit overwhelming. Although-- In a good way, It's very comforting.
Thanks for listening.
Oct. 26, 2010
I am currently working on a major entry. Before last night I thought the entry I would be posting would be telling you that I wanted to take a few weeks off from the internet to work on "real life". A lot is happining in my life right now. All good mind you, just so freakin busy. And to be honest, I was slightly irritated with Erik yesterday and just wanted a break from all this. But of course like so much in my life; just when I think I can sit back with an ice tea on the porch, the Sh@t hits the fan.
Oct. 22, 2010
Hi I am feeling much better. I had an almost 2 week flu with sinus infection. I didn't have a very good weekend that's for sure. It didn't help that I threw a couple of pity parties for myself while being sick. I spent a good 2-3 days trying very hard to ignore "them upstairs". It's pretty hard for me to do. Because even though I've gotten pretty good a tuning them out, they still do things to make me pay attention to them. Like making me see them walking around, or they convert to orb and shadow play, or they will touch me.
For example I was physically feeling just terrible. Totally sick with the flu and a sinus infection. So all my focus was on that physical pain and discomfort. While that is going on; it's a pretty decent block of my mind for fine tuning into Spirit. So to get my attention, "they will touch my head. And each Spirit I am "familiar" with has a specific "touch feel". For instance, I am feeling just rotten and since I've not connected to Spirit in any meaningful way in a while I am mostly ignoring the other world. So to get my attention, they'll touch me. Erik makes the side of my head and ear go warm. And if I ignore him, he'll just keep it on, and on, and on. In fact at one point, I was just going mad with irritation. Because it was almost painful-- To the point I chased him off. And in fact it took another guide to tell me that he was just doing that to let me know he was worried about me and wanted to let me know he was there for me. That he was trying to keep a close eye on me by attaching him self to me in a more permanent way while he went about his business. Not something that he would normally try.
Other times he'd check in on me with Jennifer to see how I was doing. Or they would sit by my bed and try to cheer me up or entertain me. Which with Erik, can be somewhat disturbing as he excels at visual minds eye imagery manipulation. Some of which borders on getting carried away with himself. For example one night my spouse wanted to have pigs in a blanket. Don't ask me why this was a good idea. I found the thought horrifying. It totally churns my stomach. But Erik thought it great! He then spent the rest of the night following me around pretending to be a "pig in a blanket". It ranged; everything from him wrapping a blanket around himself and walking around making pig noises. To him turning into a live pig with a blanket around him flying around the room. Or making pig noises every time I tried to take a bite.
Another time, I was trying to take a nap but not very successfully because I was so sick. And he and Jen would pop in and sit on my bed and he'd do the weirdest stuff to make me laugh. Or tease me for being the biggest attention seeking, "I am a sick baby-poor me". Like he'd start walking around with a toilet stuck to his backside with a hot pad on his head and a thermometer in his mouth, and use a cane to walk around and moan, "I am Jason, I am sooo sick... ooooooo". I would call out to Jen for help, but she'd just say. "Boys....ugh...." "He's all yours!-leave me out of it". I could literally go on and on about his antics. In fact he got so carried away at one point I had to call Robert to commiserate.
But it wasn't all fun and games with Erik. Because I was so sick I tried very hard not connect to spirit. Sometimes to an extreme. What I mean by that is that I start diving into some pretty bad "feel sorry for myself" situations. Which inevitability drags up a lot of negative emotional junk. Which drives me to a lot of self doubt, and crazy thinking. And then start contemplating 'escaping' my reality by reengaging in some rather selfish obsessive behaviors. Which is an escape, but causes me to totally ignore everything and everyone around me. Which "drives" them crazy. Erik likes to yell out, "AHH, Here we go again!".
I discovered when I block for a long time, or don't formally connect for a long time, or do something self absorbing in a selfish way I lower my vibrations and I begin to pick up on lower level input. Not connecting does not block or stop my communications; I still pick up on other. Only I pick up on stuff I don't want to pick up on and have a harder time blocking lower level imagery/spirits. It's not fair to my guides as it causes them to work harder at protecting me. They actually have to help raise my vibrations for me. To bring me to a higher level. One guide does this by parting the ethereal clouds and light pours into me. Another guide does this by surrounding me with a rotating dome of crackling protective energy. Another one brings me into his presence and literally blasts lower level spirits and entities away from me or picks them up and removes them. Erik pick me up from behind me with his arms under my arm pits and flies me up into the banks of ethereal clouds. And the higher and higher we get the brighter the light gets, and we move past lower level signals.
When I finally come back to my senses and formally reconnect and start talking to my guides again, and connect to higher planes everything clears up and it is easy to get rid of communication I don't want. And interesting example was last night. After a particularity long self indulgent weekend, I got back to where I should be. And of course Erik was waiting for me, But was was interesting was how it all looked in my minds eye. For example, After I pulled myself back out of the dredges of self pity and the wallow of negative emotion; I reconnected like I should. I looked up in my minds eye and above my bed, was Erik waiting for me. He and Jen were sitting in a porch swing. She was sitting with her back against the arm and feet against him, and he was leaning forward with his hands folded on his knees. Looking very sad and quiet at me. Their images were extraordinarily clear. He sadly in a quiet voice said, "I didn't think you were gonna talk to me again". He said that I was handling things much better than he would have done had he still been living. That I didn't give into temptations, that I stopped drinking, that he would never have stayed on the straight and narrow spiritual path. That he just gave up and took the easy escape route.
So, it's the off an on little things like these that define my current relationship with Erik. I still find it truly bizarre to a certain extent. Let me try to explain. He's definitely not here to guide me. But at the same time he often gives advice, or will elaborate on questions I give him. But, only if they are of a personal or spiritual matter. He flat out refuses to elaborate on his relationship with others currently living or the life he just lived. Which often throws me. I quite often find myself shocked, surprised or wowed by what I read or hear from others in regards to his activities. Because the sense of relationship with his is on such a close emotional level. It's like finding out a family member leads double lives. Then I feel weird and slightly forlorn that I can't be a part of that. Kinda borders on loneliness. Like I am being left out. Like I don't really know this person. I look at what others are going through, and what they might do, and hear what their life work is suppose to be from Erik on the blog, and it just furthers this weird disconnect.
His reply is, "You just have to be patient. That you had experienced enough in previous lives to be granted or allowed to keep your awareness to Spirit, but that in counter point, you are not allowed to use it to escape what you are here to experience or do. Otherwise, if you knew all ready, or could be a part of what I am doing, what would have been the point of you returning to earth?" "There will be plenty of time to be a regular family again when your time is done. You just have to wait and concentrate on living this life." "You, Robert, Mom, and everyone are all a part of the same soul group and everyone has their own jobs and paths to do and take." "Don't pay attention or worry about what me or guides/ angels say about other people. What we tell them in relation to their life work and future is not telling the future. It is simply giving them best case scenarios if they open certain doors. Scenarios that as far as we can see will be the best for them. Paths that they agreed to try if they could, if all the right doors were opened before they were born. Free will reigns supreme. They and you don't have to do anything you all don't want to."
Another example of this strange disconnect. Like I said earlier, I don't really know Erik Medus, the guy who recently passed. I know absolutely nothing about his life nor that of his living family. But the Spirit Erik feels extremely familiar. Like a brother, but sometimes like a parent. Sometimes like a best friend. I have already written about how he gave me mental memory flashbacks of some past lives of the both of us. That of twins. I've had a couple more of those with slightly different imagery. Another was of us chasing each other around a courtyard in front of a country house. And in another set of images I was a little girl and he was my father and I was sleeping in his lap. Very surreal and weird. And when I think about who I want to me me right after I die? I don't think my parents or sibling, or even spouse. I think Him and Elisa, what's up with that?
Another thing that troubles me is how I am supposed to act in relation to this whole online Erik blog experience. Everyone including Erik assures me to not worry about it. To just go with the flow. I've always felt and still feel that I don't want to know or hear about what my life goal, plan is, or have anyone tell me what path I should be taking. I also have always strongly felt that channeling in front of public audiences was not my path. I am not questioning or judging others who do, it's just to me, to do that in the light of media; the idea feels slightly abhorrent to me. But at the same time, offering back end, behind the scenes support feels ok to me. Writing books, teaching, also feel right. Another great attractor that feels very right to me is small circle seances for personal spiritual development of the group. But besides all that I strongly feel that my first responsibility is to nurture and guide those currently in my life to a higher level of spiritual awareness.
And this was sort of confirmed by a friends Guide. Who is what some might be considered a Celestial Being of sorts. How one describes him is irrelevant for this letter, but what he told me last night was, "I want you to stop worrying about all this right now. What I want you to concentrate on right now is living in the now. Work on your life now, your job, your home life, work on your relationships with your family. Channel all this negative energy into improving and building those relationships. I want you to really work hard on that. I want you to keep at your Spiritual education and pour over past Spiritual masters for insight and wisdom into living in the modern era. Then you will be of assistance in helping others bridge the insight from the last century into this century. But your foremost goal is to work on your life here and now. Otherwise what is the point of you being here?"
It's like Erik and I are on Broadway, performing in two different plays across the street from each other, neither of us has seen the others plays or read the scripts, but we each read reviews. We hear gossip, and wonder how each others act is really going. But after the show we meet for coffee to discuss the weather. Weird, totally weird.
*On a side note. There is often a lot more going on than that. It pertains to a new friends Guide. It's kind of hard to describe and get into. I'll try to organize that content for this blog in a coherent fashion as time allows. Right now I am pressed for time. But basically this Guide has been working with me on my connection to Spirit, the nature of the Universe, The human condition, morality, ethics. As well as channeling, and protecting ones spirit.
Well, I am off to work. More later as time allows. Currently I am swamped at work and home life is crazy as I close on my first house the end of the month.
mid to late Oct., 2010
I am taking a brief break in posting as I've been with the flu or some such and have to catch up on "work/life/family". I'll try to play blog catch up when I can. I still have entries as I write via email and text files before posting here. So when I do catch up everything will be dated properly.
Oct. 11, 2010
Over the past several days to a week I've been in correspondence with a few people I've met via the Erik blog. Exchanging ideas, going over questions on the nature of the universe, God, Heaven, the afterlife, the nature of prayer, belief and mediumship; and the way I look at life. I had the most amazing contact experience with one of their guides. I am not quite sure how to describe it all as it pertains to this site/blog yet. But I will in some fashion soon as it's made a pretty big impact on my life. Yet more spiritual fireworks. On the Erik front; just more of the same. Casual social contact, brief spiritual advice, wry comments, movie time, etc. For example one evening really late at night he popped in my room and said, " Mom just went to sleep, I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing, before I go see Robert." He asked how I was doing after contact with the new guide, kinda elaborated on info I found out and talked about spiritual stuff and then was gone. I had another question and kinda focused really hard and said, wait I have another question. And he said, "You don't have to shout I can hear you". Another poinient point of the past week/ weekend was I was on the phone with Robert for the first time, and I could actually feel him in both of our heads at the same time. It was very strange. And he kept making comments in the middle of our conversation. It's like I could feel a light partial connection to me, and sense that his attention was divided elsewhere. Part with me part with presumably with Robert and part actually in the phone signal. It's hard to describe. Also a couple of times we both heard him say the same smart-a$ comment or imagery at the same time. Or do something like, He'd look at my mental imagery while I was describing something to Robert and then make a crude comment about it to Robert.
Oct. 7, 2010
After experiencing such dramatic Spiritual experiences of such quantity over such a short period of time. It's hard to relate to a slower change of pace in spiritual matters. What am I trying to say? I think I am just trying to relate that the past few days has been quieter. Partially that is because my spirit guides have been allowing me to contemplate and absorb what I've gone through. Part of it, it that Erik has been needed elsewhere. And part of it has been that I've gotten much better at connecting and blocking.
That's not to say nothing has happened. Far from it. I still have regular daily communication with my guides. All of their communication is still of a deep Spiritual and personal enrichment content. Erik still periodically checks in on me off and on for a few moments. Robert and I can assure everyone that he spent almost all of his time with his mom and family yesterday. I hope that even if they could not feel him due to grief that they will trust their instincts that this was true. On rare occasions I've been able to see what Spirits are seeing. I try not to, as it's not proper, but sometimes I get flashes of imagery. I saw Erik hovering over Elisa even in her distracted personal moments. It's a physical and Spiritual bond and commitment that will never be broken. An example of mother son love that can be used as an example for all grieving parents that their children will be with them always. We just have to learn to trust in that love, and the love of Spirit.
Last night I put into practice a visualization technique related to trance meditation. Similar technique has been given to me by my guides before. But this was elaborated on by Erik earlier in the week. The point of it is to train your eyes to see with your etheric vision. Which will allow Spirit to connect with your visual centers to see different types of visual phenomena. The experience was quite bewildering. The room darkened and I felt like I was flying through a tunnel. Shapes and forms were highlighted in shadow and pale outlines zoomed past me-all around me. My eyes kept going out of focus and twitching. The feeling of a moving tunnel effect was quiet noticeable. Then at one point my grandfather came forward. A pale faint white fuzzy human shape appeared from the edge of the tunnel and materialized on the bed next to me. I couldn't tell it was him, but the form used his voice in my head. He just chatted about my brother and newborn nephew. And then he told me to close my eyes and go to sleep or I'd make myself sick.
Here is the technique. It can have an effect, provided that one's spiritual intent is in the right place, along with a mind free of emotion or negative energy. Just keep in mind; that phenomena happens on Spirits time table, not ours.
Say to yourself. I want to experience any visualizations that Spirit wishes to show me, for the greater good and in the Light. Then one should concentrate on a dark corner and let your vision go static and blurry as if you are looking at an eye chart that was too small to see. That you should just zone out and let your vision go blurry and try not to blink much. To pick a spot and try not to look away-- but imagine that you could still notice stuff in your peripheral vision. To keep looking without expectation until the lights and dark started to merge and go all gestalt on you. Let the overlapping patterns and imagined shadows take over.
Oct. 6, 2010
For Erik;
Till we meet again. I'll hold you soul next to mine and dream with you. Till I clasp your hand I'll hold your memory in my mind. Till we speak again I'll listen for your voice. Till dawn breaks over heaven's sky I'll walk through twilight until we meet again.
Let's not speak of loss, lets just sit and think of love retained. Lets not linger in sorrow but swim up through life to the light. Help me reach out of darkness and step into the light of life.
Help me pray not for life lost, Here today and gone to tomorrow. But help me see that these lives lost are but dreams. Help us wake from our slumber. Wake to see the light of life in that we'll meet again.
In Gods love and light, family we are all.
Oct. 05-6, 2010
A quiet week. A time for family, a time for contemplation, a time for solemn remembrance. Oct. 6 will be a family milestone. A time to grieve. A time to hold each other in comfort and love. It's been a year since Erik passed from this life to return to real life beyond. My heart, prayers, and thoughts go out to his parents and siblings, and all members of his spiritual family here and beyond. I will grieve for the body of presence and love he left behind; for the pain and devastation of loved ones; but, rejoice with thanks for the blessings a new year has created. For when one door is closed, many more open.
“The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity.” – Seneca
Oct. 04, 2010
It's been a fairly quiet weekend and start of a new month. After the past few weeks of Spiritual awakening and crisis or shall we say, roller coaster ride it was a nice break. What does that mean? Well, it just means the 'Ethereal gang' was quiet. That happens a lot when I get really busy with day to day and family life or events. They really do want us to just live our lives to the best of our ability. So while I did every now and then sense a presence or two; and, While I did have periodic conversation here and there about spiritual things in my life; I mostly ignored the "other".
That sounds weird and bizarre I know. Basically I spent the entire weekend rushing about here and there with family and only in the few sparse quiet moments did I get a periodic "flash" of a guide or Erik. I call those Erik's "Hug and fly" moments. I'll sit down for a breather and then catch a glimpse of shimmer in the air and then feel my head or left side flash with warmth and then get a tingle sensation in which I'll either get a faint "just checking in on you" feeling. Even so I just went about my business.
I bet a lot of people wonder what a Spirit hug feels like. I can tell you there is a difference between the various types of spirit touches. And the sensations vary greatly depending on the Spirit's intention. As well, it depends on personal perspective.
For me Spirit touches could feel like the following. 1) localized feather touches. Anywhere on the skin. Like someone brushed it lightly with a feather. 2) cool localized caress. As if a spot on my skin was wet and someone breathed on it. 3) localized static charge. Imagine you rubbed a spot on your arm with a latex balloon. Now hold the balloon a hairs breath away from your skin. That sensation of force or energy pressure between your arm and balloon. That's the feeling. 4) Localized materialization touch. This is hard to imagine and describe and has only happened in the dark. It was as if a spirit materialized a hand to something solid. And touched me or poked me, as if it was a solid person. 5) localized and traveling energy merges. These are a combination of pins and needles static feel and either warm or cold sensations. It is often accompanied by emotional feelings or thought speech.
With Erik I'll suddenly feel the static pressure on my left face or ear accompanied by warmth. It could be just the forehead; the ear; or the whole side of the face; or include my arm. When he gives a hug it's all of those but can include my entire head and left side of my body. The pins and needles static seems to glow warm and feel thick and heavy. During that time my whole body just humms and feels wonderful. I get this intense radiating sense of love and happiness. Like nothing else matters. It sounds like it should be scary, but it's the opposite. The closest analogy I can think of is Sitting on a dock of a lake on a cool breeze day, basking in the sun. Your laid back and just soaking in the warm sunshine. That is an Erik hug. A blanket of sunshine love.