July 2011

July 31, 2011

Ok, So I think I have an explanation for yesterdays technical difficulties. I should warn you. It's fairly "woo-woo"... So, I certainly understand if it sounds like the mad hatters tea party to you. Although, I suppose if you're reading this, you believe some of all this. I guess, the reason I sound this way is because I have a tendency to blow off stuff that I've not experienced. Which given my experiences you'd think I'd be open to anything... I think part of this is that I can't stand having the feeling of not being in control.

So yesterday morning; I was sitting at my desk getting ready for my semi-regular weekly 45 min. channeling practice session. During these sessions, I try to be quite formal. It's where my primary intention is to develop myself, and attempt connections for people who directly contacted me for facilitation. In Spirit I consciously connect to Andy, Dean, Lydia, and my Teachers. Unconsciously, the rest of my guides, angels and the rest of my "gang" who I am not hearing at the moment.

Before each session, I do Reiki, ward the room, formally give thanks, the do chakra and energy work. Then I put on music and then use a combination of mild automatic writing, clairauidence, clairsenstience, and clairvoyance to communicate with various spirit beings. My guides keep fairly strict time frame on the session. And it usually ends on time. The few times, I've gone over, I've gotten psychically drained and sick.

Well, in any case I just wanted to set up the picture of my expectation for that morning. I had 4 Spirits I wanted to talk to as a result of CE blog readers questions. Along with my own development.

So I am sitting there and was feeling really funny energy and resistance. I connected to what I felt was a guide or angelic being and was channeling content for the reader, and had typed quite a bit of info.; when all of a sudden my computer reboots and I loose everything. I was very distressed. There was no beep, no click, no other power flicker, it just smoothly and quietly rebooted. The energy in the room crashed, and I could not remember what I had typed.

I tried to start again, cause I hate giving up. I suspected that perhaps the reboot was Spirit telling me I was getting the content or context wrong.. But, They KNOW how much I HATE them messing with my electronics. So I was confused. So this time I didn't connect to any one spirit other than my higher self and was just writing to the reader my own opinions.

But again the computer turned it's self off. So now, I was getting upset and said, fine. Whatever. And I ended the session. I was half worried that I had an unwelcome guest in the house, or a computer viris or other problem.

I couldn't "sense" anything/one else. And I was getting nothing blatant from my guides. To be honest I was so upset by this point I wasn't trying. So I spent the rest of the day scanning my computer for viruses, malware, spyware, and defraging it. Nothing. My computer rebooted a couple more times. So then I backed up my data to be safe. I was really worried. Cause I can't really afford a new machine yet. And I was worried about Spiritual influence. I also worried that perhaps it was a reaction to something I did wrong. And I wondered if I let Spirit down. I was very upset.

In fact by bedtime I was in tears. I was beating myself up pretty bad. I even wrote this sappy ass moppy letter to the gang. I felt that I had approached the session with proper or desired intent. I felt I was doing the right thing. I wanted to help if I could. I didn't want to hurt anyone. I didn't know if I had done anything wrong or not. So I apologized if I let Spirit down, asked if I should stop, quit, and what not. If I am nuts... all that sort of thing. I was also pretty embarrassed and ashamed at how much attention I gave all this. I was pretty hard on myself. Trust, fear, and doubt has always been a big struggle for me and this was not helping.

I said I would keep trying and not give up. I said I would try to have faith, trust and better dedication.. But I did say, It really hurts sometimes. It does. It's, this, It's a lonely road to look into the shadows in the hope of seeing a friend.

So not trusting my self, and as a last ditch effort to find resolution and comfort I emailed Robert to speak to my guides or Teachers.

Here is what he said.

""Hi Jason. :-)

Z states there is an energy shift occurring which is causing a "throttle back" of your channeling abilities. It is also the reason for the problems you've been experiencing with your computer and the funky energy you've been feeling. Z says not to worry for it will dissipate once your system becomes acclimated to this "new" energy. :-)

You aren't the first to ask me this question. I've had several blog members sense the same thing. They all have differing physical symptoms, but all have had problems with electrical things in their homes. I have had the same exact thing happen too. It occurred a few weeks back. I felt a lot of anxiety and didn't feel centered. I also had problems sleeping and very vivid dreams. It took a week or two before I started to feel back to normal, though I am still having slight issues with channeling and problems with things around the house (mostly my game consoles). I keep blaming Erik (in jest) and he says "Not me Dude!". I know it isn't, but its fun to pick on him.

Hope this puts your mind at ease young'un! You'll get back to normalcy soon enough and you'll find that you've been improved too! It is all part of the ascension our planet and humanity are going through. It's an exciting time!""

July 29, 2011

Allergies buggin me this morning. I had weird dreams too. My guides helped me find materials on how to have OBE's and astral travel. A couple web sites, and a 800 pg book. Last night I had a really weird lucid dream (perhaps obe). I was out of body and just barely above my bed. And the room seemed just barely in twilight. I wasn't scared or anything and was aware to some extent of my surroundings and I knew I was dreaming or there-but-not-there..., I then noticed my dog was sitting on the bed staring at the far corner of the room and growling. I could sense that it was someone I knew in Spirit but didn't know who, or care. I thought it was funny. I started egging the dog on, saying, "go get him- go get him".. touching his back and giggling at his reaction. I don't know why, but then I was suddenly "done". And I got back in my body. It was very very noticeable. I felt a sensation of merging and sinking into something like a glove. And I had this weird elation, and butterfly feeling, but in my chest. And I was very excited and happy. And I remember laying back down into my body and just moving my head back and forth very happy and excited like I had accomplished something. Then I rolled over and went to sleep. I am not sure if it was technically a true OBE, As I can't recall the room being 100% vibrant or clear. But it may just be a memory / awareness thing. Or if it was purely a lucid dream, or a combination. I think it was at the very least a lucid dream. I think part of it is because I've started researching or reading about OBE's and astral travel. I'll let you know more if in my reading I think the material is useful to me.

Other than that I finally wrapped up or got a handle on answering the direct emails that CE folks have sent me. I've got two more for this weekend. Am not sure how they will go as I don't have much context to 'tune into'. Pretty much I am gonna have to rely on the gang putting images in my head. I think that's just because people assume all mediumistic experiences work the same. It's one of those, "are there any messages for me" sort of things. Normally, I would say, "well what do you want to talk about"... But I wanna see what the Spirit gang will do, Should be interesting. I have no clue how it will turn out. One kid, I don't even know how he died. So I am curious what he'll show me. Maybe nothing. Mostly I've only worked with guides, and the usual 'gang'. But that's later this weekend. Tonight we are watching movies, doing some yard work.

July 28, 2011

When others accept you it is a great gift. It allows you the opportunity and ability to preserve whatever state you are in so that you can consciously work on you.

July 28, 2011

I don't have too much to report on. Other than the usual casual interactions with Spirit, I had an interesting email conversation this morning involving the Spirit of Emily. I realize that a great many won't have a clue what I am talking about, but heh, this is just a journal.

Jason to Sharon

I dunno whats up today. It humid and gross out. M came home at 1 last night and this morning my visualization exercises were difficult. In fact I feel a strange resistance to doing anything. Weird. Of course maybe iam just congested and feeling ill... I've also got people emailing me for more, "tell me my future stuff", and others asking about conspiracies, and aliens...sigh..... I need to get off this train i think.. I am so not interested in that sort of thing. Maybe I am suffering from a huge bad attitude....

Sharon to me

Had a dream last night that I was flying to California last night. There was a big sign on the airport that read: ANGEL BIRD SHOP. Like it was the name of the airport. It's the only part of the dream that made any sense.

Sharon to me

Time to hop off and fly with Emily bird. That is so sucky. People need to figure out there own stuff. It's hard to pinpoint our own problems sometimes. I always have personal goals to work on.

**Jason here. Personally, I was very amused by this conversation, because after I read what she wrote, Em popped into my head, and said, "Yea, sometimes you need to just stop worrying about other people and worry about yourself. Be selfish for once. Being selfish once in a while is a good thing cause it makes you look back at what 's important to you, and what you want to do."... Then she was gone.

So there you have it. I am not worrying today. Am just going to coast, do what I can, and let the rest go.

********************************

Here is the follow up letter from Emily's mom.

"Hey Jason !!! You guys are right on the money, I'm going to be flying out to see a really close friend, more then a friend in ten day's. It all happened so fast, and I had to stand up to my parents and tell them to help me with this decision in taking care of my kids while I'm gone, because, I really wanted to do this it means so much to me. I usually don't stand up to my parents or stand up for the things I really want my kids come first and I'm on the back burner. We, well you know him ----- and I both believe that it was Emily who brought us together and we've grown from there. This is such a magical opportunity, his parents are flying me out there to be with him while they go to Florida. This is blowing my mind right now you and Sharon both have something special too, a talent a God given gift, believe in yourselves because you two couldn't have been more on the money !!!!! And this is just blowing my mind because my Emily is still in my life !!!!! I've been down because of that lately, missing her so much. Hugs you two you guys made my day !!"

July 26, 2011

A broken heart of pain filled lead,

Fallen metal torn and dead

Locked away, bliss at bay

Tell yourself to stay, away

Safe no more, life seems gone

Waiting on nothing, nor more begone

No more tries, no more lies

Tell yourself what's gone, is gone

It seemed one shot to live

So much gone, on inside

gnashing torment, broken head

Tell yourself why, do you still live

In what's forgotten lays hidden power

Safe, and sure, it's waiting asunder

One more look might call it forth

Tell yourself you, still live

It's ok to wait, It's ok to try

It's ok to cry, it's ok to laugh

Heart still there, just one more beat

Tell yourself, come back to me

Now's another chance, to be what you have been, be

Bravery's heart beats on for me

Lost no more yet heart shy.

Tell yourself, I am still here

Sit no more, stay not here

wait not and weep not no more

Life lives on, I with you and you with me

Tell yourself we are near

One more step and soon to run

Look ahead and see what's done

one more step and you'll see me

Tell yourself What's you is me

Be brave be strong, Just a few more years

I know it's hard, and will to be

is hard to see, but see you will

and soon to be You'll be telling me what's you to be.

July 25, 2011

"To just lay there and forget the world, just for a moment in time, to forget all your troubles". I think the reason so many songs have been sung, so many poems written, and why so many painting have been painted on just that is because; Just laying there in the moment and finding yourself a quiet spot is a vital part of human life. People often get into trouble not because life is horrid, or chaotic, or so crazy they can't cope (although for some this is true); People get into trouble because they don't allow themselves to just BE STILL. To be quiet and still and be in the moment and BE OK with it. It's OK to just be still. Sometimes, culture, society, and our own brains will just not allow us to stop in the now. Our own inner drives, our subconscious work ethic, our desire to do, screams at us from what depths we can not see. But This is the polarity of one side of our experience here. The other side is the quiet "oneness of just being in the moment". OF in that moment "feeling" who and what you are. To just lay there with the little me of your soul. It's important to remind our selves to touch and be OK with the quiet peace that is in us all. It's OK to just BE.

July 22 st, 2011

Good times with family. Lake, cabin, waterfront. Family, friends, and puppies. The quiet moment with loved ones make life worth living.

On another note, I was talking to a friend, and she mentioned how she felt so inferior and slightly down because she felt like Erik and the spirit gang was so much more than she was... Here is what I told her.

********************

The glass blower of my soul.

One of the things people have such a hard time with is that they think spirits have one up on us, or that because we are on earth we are somehow 'less than'. Nothing is further from the truth. We are always more than. On Earth, because we have such a tight concentrated focus in 3D life, we learn through 'hands on' experience in ways not possible in Spirit.

It is like the journey the apprentice takes to become the journeyman, eventually becoming the Master Craftsman. Learning, testing, creating form, function, and works of beauty.

It's like the Master glass blower. Sitting in front of the fire. You blow and turn. You play with the elements, fire, sand, water, air. It can be dangerous, you can get hurt and you can mess up, but you can create works of wonder, beauty and insightful art. You can understand your craft, and "feel" all the elements deep in your very soul. You become the craft. You are the craft and it is you!

People can stand around you and give you advice, opinion, support, and cheer you on. They see you work, They see you creating in the moment. It is a telling moment of creation. It is the 'hands on' perfection of you. The craft of the self creating through hands on experience. Knowing this, this is like life with spirit standing beside you.

This is one of the great things to live for. To master the self is to experience every potential of every probability within your state of being. It is an art form, it is beautiful. What will you create?

July 19-21st, 2011

I've spent significant time, re-doing the Q & A section of this website. You can see the section indicated on the left. Feel free to send me non personal spiritual questions you'd like answered and I'll post it. I've also posted the questions in my musings.

July 18, 2011

I had an fantastic weekend. Although the weather here is freakishly tropical. You know, when the dew point is the same as the abnormally high temperature. It's like a swamp outside. All the windows in the house are fogged up it's so humid. But I was quite pleased. I got everything I needed to do spiritually, done this weekend. On Friday, I got Robert on the phone, and he, Erik, and S. and I had a discussion of the multidimensional nature of the soul and we discussion of the topics and questions I had outlined from -----book, "----------". It was quite a wonderful session. Very enjoyable and enlightening. I found out something interesting about Erik in relation to some of us.

Here's the question I asked him, "So, you know how you once said, or someone said, that you were suppose to die later in your 20's. Ok. Well...how did your dying early impact Robert and I's development,awareness etc.? If you had lived for several/few more years, That essentially means we would not have been reacquainted nor interacted with your mom until I was in my 40's. But, before you died, I was already experiencing an up-ramp of Spiritual activity, although not clair-audience yet. If you had lived, what would have, or what was planned for me between last year and my early-mid 40's? " He said, that this is the perfect example of what can happen when a person through planning, free will, or what not, ends up ending their life outside of their life plan. It creates an outward spiral of effects and events that energetically impact others lives, and not just in physical proximity. We are all connected energetically whether we know it or not. And those Spiritual friends and family and other blog readers who suddenly started experiencing Spiritual activity was partially as a result of this. Initially, especially with Robert and I, we would have developed at a more slow even pace, in such that when Erik had then later died, we would have been more experienced and able to jump right in without such trauma, pain, and turbulence in our psychic experiences. That if he had waited, it might have gone easier for us. I told him, it was totally cool with me though as I was very grateful for the way it worked out in relation to my personal life.

I also had a very good channeling sessions both Saturday and Sunday. In lieu of my regular development practice session, Andy answered questions. In the other session, I was able to connect with peoples guides. An unexpected event occurred. I discovered that I share a healer guide with yet another CE blog member. It was quite a stunning revelation to have all of us independently discover the truth of the matter and have it all independently corroborated. It just really drove home that there is no such thing as coincidence and just how inter connected everyone is.

I don't know how much I'll be around this week. I have another family trip later in the week planned. I'll try to update here from time to time, but I may have several days with no updates.

July 17, 2011

The return to self.

For all the lives that feel a mistake,

When your happenstance is pain to take.

For days you wonder why your here.

This time you hate, your no mistake.

You know I know, where you're really at

Blinded, the glare is too bright.

So many struggles, so much drama

When your had enough

Can anyone have you?

But what you have, I promise you this,

Is that you keep on keeping on.

I try, you try, and somehow we keep on.

Your heart song beats on.

Sink or swim, you gasp for breath.

Swim upstream,float downstream,

What you have, I promise you this,

Is that you keep on keeping on.

You try, again and again, and somehow we keep on.

Doubt and lives that fill us with fear,

Torn asunder, fully to plunder,

this anger fills cauldrons of emotion.

For all this and more,

what remains is the center of me,

the center of you, is all the we.

It's not what is seen,

It's what is felt,

The ties that bind us together.

There is nothing else to do,

but by keep on keeping on

step by step.

I promise you this,

Is that I keep on keeping on,

I try to try to come back to me, coming back to you.

And when I find me,

I'll have the break,

To see what connects.

In my heart, nothing to loose,

Nothing to keep,

is the heart of me in love with this.

This, I promise you,

Is no mistake,

The return to self.

July 16, 2011

I heard this in an online video of a bunch of teens parodying some show, but as funny as it was, I thought the lyrics were pretty spiritual.

"Life is but a dream. Passion is the key, just like your on TV. Live the life you wanna live have not self pitiee. Don't forget to see the best in yourself. The man in the mirror is just a reflection of your soul. The little things can take you down, so it's best to brush it off lest it get stickiee." ---made me laugh too.

July 14, 2011

This is you. B it.

Right now, this very moment, you can realize everything you are. Every potential for happiness is within you; right now. All it takes is focusing proper intent with your emotions. "The good life" is just a state of being. Let go of mile markers; let go of points A to C and Be the "B". Don't be stuck in the middle; live, love, move through the true life of who you are right now. Intend to Be the busy Bee of life and let the rest go. This will help you Be content with your state of being.

Your Spirit IS Love. Not more, not less. Within your experiences, it has nothing to do with presumptions of "shoulda's, coulda's, but's, if's, then's, or maybe's". It has nothing to do with proper belief, proper action, proper organization of place and time. It is not in the business of decipherment of hurt, suffering, happiness, or accomplishment. It IS All about developing self awareness through experience. This IS the great journey of Creation. It is this endeavor that fills your creative soul with excitement, thrill, and ecstatic desire. The "desire to know thyself", is the Divine Spark that continually creates who you are in every heart-beat of the energetic life - of Love.

This is one of the inner meanings of your Spirit. There is more to you than you could ever realize in this incarnation. Your existence is not dependent, reliant, or contingent on this body and perception you call life. No physical body could ever realize the totality of who you are. Your Soul is MORE. The Light of Love is a multidimensional sound that permeates 'all that is'. It resonates through every possible manifestation, and it is beautiful. This enables you;-- not to carry out your life in every way possible, but, it makes every way probable.

So, do not beat yourself up for thinking you have created wrong turns. Do not beat yourself up for dispare. Do not disparage your journey. Do not beat yourself up for loss. You lament the ebb and flow of your seemingly negative emotions. Do not worry. You are not less than, you are more than. You are more than IN SPITE OF! Just as all life has cycles, just as there are seasons, just as there is movement from birth to death; so too exists the tides of change within you. This is simply the pulses of all creation. The light of love shines through you whether you think you are doomed or enlightened. How to move through it, is, simply a matter of choice within the now. Creative emotional intent through thought creates action, through which, your perception creates your reality. This is the power, to hold you-- to the creative, the joyful power that is your Spirit. That is pure love! Just as this Love is represented in you, so too is ALL that IS. This, is Who you are. This is Spirit. This is you. Be this. Be you.

July 11, 2011

I had a great 4th of July holiday week, as well as the ensuing week on family vacation. It was good to get away and focus on family stuff. Not too much Spiritual happened. I edited some "orb" photos for a couple of people and saw some faces in them. It was slightly akward as one of their family memebers is very much a materialist and started ranting about "dust"... I find such things are both dust and real. Spirit frequently uses the gestalts of visual phenomia to move information through layers of dimensional conciousness. People who are so strongly focused in their 3D experience will almost never be able to see or experience greater perception of their realities, because they chose to live life this singular focus for a reason. We should not get too upset by that. For further information on dimensionalities of the soul, perspective and the mind's perception of gestalts, I suggest reading the book, "---------". On an unrelated note, Last week I held my 14th channeling practice session. It went fairly well. It was good to get back in the swing of things.

July 06, 2011

Even though we chose this life. I am very much looking forward to coming home, but just maybe I can return knowing I can bring back something to help me understand who I am on a higher functioning level. Then maybe I can help carry someone else without the weight of heavy burden. I think when life looses the heavy bulk of heaviness or weight, then I will have figured out what I carry enough to look up to the path...to see where I am going. I wonder if that's one of lifes great purposes?

July 5, 2011

Grief interfearing with Spiritual communication. Do you think this is true...... I've been thinking of the difficulties that those with heavy grief encounter when attempting to learn channeling or awakening a "Clair" ability.....or am I way off base? I am not sure. I was talking about such things with a good friend last week.

Some people do have trouble with Spiritual communication because they manifest desire through grief rather than in-spite of grief. They desire communication with their perceived departed loved ones out of loss rather than communication through the gain of spiritual development of the self. Personally I don't think there is any right or wrong as communication is a process that has to involve emotion by it's very nature.

When you move away from loss of the self and move into the loss-less-ness of selflessness, you realize that there is really nothing lost. Because in reality, you are just as much a spirit as your loved one. And that you have everything to gain, by the inner focus of the self in-spite of desire and and the surrender of the self through experience. To understand that loss is a misplaced desire is to see that there is no real loss, only a juxtaposition of separation and oneness of the all. As one moves back to one's self, the easier it is to attain forms of Spiritual communication. I do understand what you're saying. I think spiritual communication is blocked when you're in so much pain here in the linear, thinking that your loved one is lost to you forever; or intensely brutally missing their physicality.

I don't know if this is true for everyone. But I've seen it enough that I know it's a problem for some. More of that emotional up and down stuff. Myself, I don't have the grief to contend with. But I do know that when I am emotional I encounter significant problems with channeling and the clairvoyance, clair-auidence, etc. I think that is because Spiritual communication is heavily involved with all forms of thought and emotion. And on Earth, our experiences really send our thoughts and emotions through some hard times.