August 2011

Aug. 31, 2011

The other day I was walking home from the bus stop. Chatting with my good friend Sharon on the phone via text. She also channels Erik, and Jillian etc. I don't recall what message I was passing along to her, but it was channeled material for her. Then she replied. ... As soon as I read what she wrote I was stopped dead in my tracks. I got chills all over and knew immediately that what she wrote was channeled for me as well. Spirit moved her to type, just out of the blue; "It's safe to love. It's OK to let yourself love".

Now, the reason that this was so profound for me is that my entire life, through circumstances, relationships, and personal interactions; I've always set myself up to either avoid being hurt, or minimize it. In fact, it's been a major part of this life's theme. That being, navigating aspects of fear, of all types.

And it just struck me as profound. In fact a couple nights later I was talking to another friend, Sherrie on the phone. I was telling her, starting with my adolescence and it's turmoil that I've had an intense fear of not only emotions in others, but allowing myself to express them. I've had a fear of needing people. Fear of rejection. Fear of being a burden. Fear of abandonment. Fear of being dumped on. Fear of my feelings not being reciprocated. Fear of judgement. Fear of criticism. All of which bled into and led into self image and self love issues., etc. Typically I dealt with these feelings through avoidance. I would remove myself from peoples lives. I would burn bridges. Even resort to deceit and self sabotage. And these types of behaviors would then lead to intense self judgement, loneliness, and personal self abuse. Before Erik appeared to me again after his death; I was a cold hard dead thing. Emotionless, hard, and self tormented. Even after Erik, I've subconsciously carried this over into new spiritual relationships. With both incarnate and dis-incarnate. On one level, especially of late, I knew what I was feeling and why. I tried to explore it. Lots of tears, pain, and mental thrashing. But it was still ugly, and painful as I tried to work it out. I would still- fear abandonment, hurt, and reciprocation of feelings. To avoid misunderstandings, and confusion, fearing an ill perceived risk, I caught myself falling back into old patterns.

And in that moment, that moment where I read Sharon's channeled text, "It's safe to love." I realized that I could have freedom from self protection and my perceptions of hurt.

That my fears were not who I wanted to be nor were they who I was. That so much of my fear stemmed from a deep seeded belief born of relationship villains and insecurities designed before life. I then feared a separation from those I loved. I feared being alone. And so, as I focused on this; The universe provided more of it, for me to work out. I in my connection to all that is, co-created this reality to face forward and re-discover who I really am. And who I am is one with the all pervasive love of all that is. There is no real separation. It was all an illusion based on my fear of separation, fear of love, fear of not being able to be me. Fear that to be me would be rejected. Fear that my feelings of love would be rejected. All because an ill perceived view that I was somehow separated from everyone else. So with that text message. I realized that there is no separation. There is not need to fear. We are all one in the love of all creation. And that others sense of separation was just a reflection of their own fears. So rather than letting that reflection become absorbed into me, I should reflect to the universe who I really am. That being a reflection of Divine love connected to all that is. And through this outpouring of me being me, that I then transform, transfigure myself and my energy. This energy then changes my past, changes how I see myself. Then how I now see myself becomes manifested as a new all pervasive reality for myself. I am safe to love. It is safe for me to love.

Aug. 30, 2011

Life. Life is the budding bloom of blossoms. Enfolded scent, essence, and color, blossoming in light, feeding from soils, and tended or not. What seems to die, enfolds again to create a seed of life yet to be born again. Every moment is chance to unfold in the light. Every moment is a chance to take in nourishment. But the special thing about life is the not only the chance to sow seeds of new growth and change, but the chance to bloom again. You are not your body, but you are eternal Spring in the sunshine of the universe. It's time to grow.

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From email conversations today:

I was asking a friend if her son had buzzed her feet yet, as Erik M. often does with me. She said, not that she recognized. For her so far it has only been in the hands. Her son is named Eric as well. I said:

"With me last night. I had someone buzzing my left foot and at toes. I am guessing it was Eric cause I was talking to him. And the energy flow was not as consistent, or level as Erik m does. Erik m has been doing it a long time and it is steady. This came in waves, a few of which were sharp and uncomfortable, as if it was a mistake. that's what I got. I said, Ouch and it eased off. It's a weird cross between warm static electricity and a pins and needles buzz and extremely localized joint pressure/discomfort. I feel or think the more experienced the spirit is the more modulated and even the interaction is.... no sure though. I've had Erik m and Jillian actually massage my feet and I felt actual pressure and rubbing on, and in, my foot in addition to the above sensations.

It's weird, but happens very frequently.

I've read in one place that the extremities are the easiest to buss as they are end points in where the aura and energy body connect with the physical body. The other point is the major chakras."

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How I feel today:

Coffee crash. Dead sleepy again. I slept from midnight to 5. I wish I could go home and drug myself to sleep. 'Cept sleeping pills rarely work on me. I am not sure why.

Oh, I was reading a book last night on hypnosis, dreams and stuff. From the 1800's... Anyway. It suggested that in Spiritual development. That many times when we can't remember dreams it is because we are not dreaming much anymore. That the "mind" is not actively trying to translate anything, but rather the Spirit is actively working on the other side through astral travel and engaging in other dimensional experiences. It's only when the Spirit remains near the body and recalls, that dreams happen.

Just thought the idea was interesting, as I rarely recall dreaming

Aug. 29, 2011

In life, people get very nervous talking. Most of the time it's because they are not comfortable with their feelings in the context of those feelings along side others feelings.

But, most of the time if they really looked at their feelings, they would see it's simply a matter of exploring our relationships with each other and not a thing, idea, or real belief.

If we let go of our pre-concieved attitudes, we will find that what we have always assumed to be true, is actually a matter of unexplored feelings associated with a relationship.

If we can let go of unfaced fears, hesitation, value judgements, and attitudes we will find that there is nothing to be nervous of.

There is only me, in amongst you. You and I together. How I see myself in your shoes. What matters is love, trust, and friendships with open arms where you can be comfortable exploring yourself.

Aug. 28, 2011

You, Can Heal Your Past.

You can heal past, present, and future life.

In you, Life is THE emotion WITHIN the experience.

How you feel about this drives what you think.

What you think on- manifests, as reality, through you.

This IS your creative power.

What is given, taken away, used,

Is from the efforts of your ever changing

perception, perspective, and beliefs.

The time to heal is now.

Now, is the moment of self introspection

that reshapes how you feel.

Feeling gives birth to new thought.

What is born, is new life.

New life, is being born again and again.

The cycles of life are eternal.

Peace, Love, and Happiness

are as inevitable as your desire,

To know yourself.

Aug. 27, 2011

In many schools of thought, many religious belief systems, in many fields of Spirituality, there is an idea, that "life" is about lessons. I won't disagree other than to say, from what I've learned from Spirit is that in "life" is an illusion. That "In Spirit" the only lesson you learn is what you take from any given experience. In this there is NO right or wrong, other than what you make of it. For some, it is beneficial to explore ALL aspects of any given experience. For others, a taste is all that is desired. Emotional context, perspective, and perception is important to understand to appreciate any gained knowledge.

Aug. 26, 2011

The tides of change

can be seen as waves

pulling away life

or

bringing in nourishment.

To understand life's

waters

Is to see that the ebb and flow

a part of a greater ocean

that circulates our soul

Aug. 25, 2011

What a long week already. Weird too. I started last weekend in a flurry of home life activity. Got a lot done, and made head way to prepare for company. But then later I cancelled plans, which freed up a lot of stress. So time spend at a hectic pace, slowed down to domestic bliss. It was nice.

I was able to get some fascinating content for my question / answer section from a spirit friend who also goes by the name of Eric. Although with a C not K. It was all about how what age Spirits look like.

Later this week, I was in a funky mood and I was soooo crabby at my spirit gang.. They were just ignoring me too. So I got to fume by myself. Only "they" (maybe Erik).... left me with a prank! One of them, or a stray messed with my air conditioner!.... Turned the thermostat down to 23!!! And turned my AV equipment on but not the TV!

One night this week, I attempted to have a channeling session, but I went into it with a horrid attitude. Also, I did not set a specific intent nor questions, which is what I started getting. Just seemingly random clairvoyant images. Well, I am not one for fooling with symbolic interpretation. I hate puzzles. So I switched my intent to request that I see a clairvoyant image of my guardian angel. Now to some of you, you already know that many non-physical beings have never incarnated, and for a decent chunk of their existence, they exist as what we'd see as energy. So these beings frequently show up in my vision as just that. Light beings, or energy blobs/nebula's. etc.. So before this When I've attempted to "see" my angels/guardian--(whatever).... They / it /he/she, just appeared either as a moving white to transparent fuzzy energy plasma in the air, or to clairvoyant vision just appeared as silhouettes of yellow/white light. And when in clairaudient speech they usually spoke as a group voice. In fact there just wasn't much communication at all, in fact to my senses, it all felt very 'non-human'... And when I asked for names, at the beginning, they wouldn't say; so I started calling them, "hey angel".. and it was kind of amusing. But as time passed I got more and more frustrated, because I like to see whom I am talking to. Or else I really don't see the point of conversing with them. Maybe that's a bad attitude? Anywhoo... So over the past month or so, I've been whining and sort of demanding that something be done about that. And in response I was told that my guardian Angel was actually an Archangel, and a part of a collective, and the reason it had never shown itself as an individual being was that I was not the only charge they looked after. And that their actual name was unpronounceable to human ears. Well... I don't know how I feel about that info. So I just shelved it, and nursed my crabbiness.

Although, up until this weekend I didn't put forth the effort to actually revisit it. What channeling or practice I did do was taken up by other people. You'd think my guides or friends would fill me in... nope... They never do what I can figure out on my own. I assure you, they are not a fan of the "easy button".

So Then this week I sat down, as I just described, and switched intents and asked for Angel visuals. Well,... It did not go like I expected. In fact I highly suspect it was all symbolic. Although I could ask Robert, or someone else, I am treating this like a puzzle. What happened was that I started to see in my mind's eye a huge yellow white light. It was tinged with red on the edges. Then out of it formed a figure that was made up of the whitest white mist. It formed into the moving image of an old man with long flowing whispy hair that floated and moved of it's own accord. He was wearing long white robes of an indistinct look. And he glowed all over in a misty void filled with light. He held a staff with funny twig looking things at the end. He moved around and talked. I do not think this is literal, or actually a singular entity or personality. I feel this is a symbolic manifestation. Although, don't quote me on that. I go that it was a symbol for ancient wisdom, name unpronounceable. The visual moved around my astral body and filled the area with light and seemed to be protective. But like I said, I am not a fan of symbolism. He didn't go away, so I am not discounting it. But I am not holding on to it until I get other conformation. It's ok though. You'd think someone like me, would not be a skeptic or hold onto whiny bad attitudes. But I am well known for my stubborn obstensence. So, I'll let you know if I figure anything else out. I guess part of my crankiness stems from lingering trust issues.

Aug. 19, 2011

Sometimes, It's easy to get wrapped up in life; Sometimes It's easy to get buried in heart pain; Sometimes I forget who I am; In the journey to rediscover myself; I've been put into touch with friend and loved ones who though we morn, still continue in Spirit. So much I've learned from them and all of our journey's. It's lead me back to myself and shown me a greater reality.

Which inspires me. So, I'd like to share with you what I wrote this morning:

I only know that which reflects back to me from you. Helping each other see. One heart at a time, together united. Looking within, seeing reflections of Divine Love. Reflections all, perfect in every way.

******************************************

Trying not to worry

wrong or right,

what is or isn't.

What matters,

you and I feel,

What's going to matter.

Brings us closer.

Know one's self.

How do I feel me,

when I feel you.

Reflections of the Divine Love.

On to the other side,

thinking not where to be,

but what I'll see.

Looking down,

still see me,

Seeing you.

And then I'll know,

I am home.

Nothing to figure out,

Nothing gone,

To me,

just be.

******************************

Greatest truth.

Root of self,

within the trust,

who would you be.

What you see,

is what you be.

So then you see.

Know and grow,

See you free.

Hold you dear.

The Greatest truth

the root of self

is yet to be.

When you see

what will be

Then I'll see

Today, you'll be.

******************************************

When I contemplate my faith

I think of you.

When I wonder where I am,

I can only feel

When I try to feel me

I seem to only feel you.

I think this must be some kind of truth

Though I wonder what

Who are we when we love

Why do we

All I know is

This feeling grows

Is this what it's like to know God's love?

*******************************************************

The greatest place is to know the singular presence of peace within one's self. My open heart unbound from this place set free in love. An allowance that I am present, always to be.

Aug. 17, 2011

Random Musing: Soul Group

A friend of mine the other day mentioned in passing a phrase containing the words, "Soul Group" in it. It got me thinking that I am uncertain this means what people think it means. Despite having had Erik, and other entities speak on it, and running across it frequently in text; I question it's meaning. Many people approach the phrase as group of friends, loved ones that incarnate together. They often assign human bonds of belonging and even ownership to it, akin to a clique. I feel that is a mistake. Perhaps in early stages of Spiritual evolution, this holds true. But I think as lives pass, the individual awareness of the soul moves from personality associations to the collective knowing of the inter-connectivity of All That Is. I feel rather than families, groups, that the term "group" does not really apply outside of old perceptions. I feel that the individuals in question come into a sense that they do not belong anywhere, but that which they wish to experience. And that while bonds of common experience do make for fond memory or experiences, that what energetically connects is like mind to like mind, duty to duty, desire to desire. Where every one is then brother or sister in common cause of the moment. At some point this becomes far more important in self realization within the all, than any notion of exclusive belonging. The notion of 'I am U' and 'you are Me' evolves from 'you and me'.

Aug. 17, 2011

The persistence of life is a reflection of our eternal reality, of our continence within the Heavens. Death and Birth are not about loss and gain, but about the never ending cycle of love refreshing itself through our experiences.

Death is not a final loss, but an opportunity to realize life as being opportunity to give to the universe. The cutting short of life triggers painful emotion, that can be channeled into visions of a greater reality in which the eternal soul can meet it's intentions to explore it's beauty.

To desire less than this is to give unfair credence to what is transitory and illusionary reality. You know- you are more than this life. And while you fear the loss of your love relationships, by giving into this fearful emotion you do yourself a dis-service. By giving into the emotion that love was taken away from you, you deny your own immortality, vitality, and progress.

But by realizing and acknowledging that eternal life is more than just a belief, a hopeful ill rested comfort; By realizing what eternal life really means as it pertains not only for your loved ones, but for you- You come to a peace that is beyond all hope, desire, and wishful thinking.

You come to a peace that is Knowing, and you understand yourself in greater ever expanding personal reality. This realization is more about personal choice to live without disabling emotions than it is about taking any one action. This realization does not mean that you disrespect your emotion or loved one. It simply means that you transform debilitating grief, into personal growth; assured with the understanding and knowledge that both you and your loved ones are a part of a greater reality joined together with all that is. Separation is tentative, illusionary, and tool for personal growth.

Aug. 16, 2011

"Of locks and locking your view on what really matters."

The other day I left my keys at work and thus, "locked myself out of the house". I had to wait over 2 hours to get back into the house. I amused myself by gardening, watering the lawn, reading, and email-texting my friends. They kept asking why one of the Spirit gang couldn't let me inside, by unlocking the door. Good question actually. One which always puzzles people. Here's the deal. Most Spiritual manifestations in the physical do not happen unless it is through with the permission of your guides and angels for a higher purpose, spiritual growth, or a life emergency. Locking myself out was non of the above. It was simply a natural result of me being a moron! (ha ha).. Now some would say, well... Erik has done all these pranks, why cant he turn a bolt? Well, he can of course...and does do pranks, but why should he bail me out for my stupidity, when to go through the experience will serve me by making me better?

To pass through this experience was what mattered.

Another question that is frequently asked, is about a comming shift, assension or 20112.. I have my own unique opinions about such things, but here is what Robert had to say about it.

"It is important not to let what (may) be coming effect you in the now. If you do, your "now" will be miserable.

When those back "Home" tell us such things, it serves two main purposes. one is to give us a choice on how we will respond from an emotional perspective. do we go into fear and chaos, or do we simply take it as useful information and continue to enjoy our "now". two, it gives us as a collective an opportunity to change our way of thinking and actions. large scale events are created by the collective we. if we as a species begin to put things back into balance (emotionally), then we can mute our challenges. as you can see, this purpose is tied to the first. when we as a collective respond in fear, we bring those events to our personal experience because we remain out of balance emotionally. our actions (how we treat each other, what we do to the planet, etc.) will reflect that imbalance. though no one purpose is more important than another, we could look at how we emotionally respond as the "core" reason for filling us in on our potential future. if we as a collective take the path of less resistance by continuing to stay grounded, centered, and emotionally balanced so that we remain in a comfortable place, if we understand that no matter what happens we will be ok, then we surely will be, no matter what...even if said events still occur."

Aug. 15, 2011

To Those who lament a love seen as lost;

Were all the world dying

and the all her people dead,

were I alone,

I would think of you.

Were there nothing but

pain and tears

sorrow at your door step

I would wait for you.

Were you sad,

broken and fallen,

I would pick you up

And hold you, hold you dear.

I tell you this

not to cause you discomfort

bother or pain.

Know I full well

the nature of our realities.

I tell you this

so that you are reminded

even at life's worst

That you are not alone.

I am but one of many

who, past, present, future

that love you dearly.

Never forget, never fear

Never feel lonely

For if you can't but hold on,

have patience

have faith, fortitude

you will remember that

forever and ever

do you have

and are you

enfolded in the arms of love.

Aug. 14, 2011

I am having computer issues and will be getting a new machine this week at some point; I hope. I hesitate to write much in the meantime from home, rather I am channeling and writing via pen and notebook, and will transcribe from work. Awkward. Yesterday after 2 or 3 weeks of not attempting a channeling session, I experienced the same problems. And the "gang" told me to switch to pen and paper. In any case, I'll have to update the site later in the week from my work office

Aug. 12, 2011

It's been a pretty good week. For the first time, well; all summer, it's been cool and nice outside. I can't believe how weird and busy it has been overall. I had a couple of really good experiences channeling Erik for a couple of people this week, although I have 6 people still, that I've not been able to get to; in line this weekend. I am hoping to try and make it through them all by the end of next week. But those brought to mind, the great variety of channeling requests, guidance requests, healing requests, teaching and writing experiences over the past several months. I mean, it's just been remarkable the diversity of communications from incarnate and spirit. As you may have read before. It's only been a little over a year since I've started interacting with Spirit in a conscious positive way. And not even a year yet, since I've been talking to Erik, and only since last winter/spring that I've been channeling for others. It's quite the heady learning curve. I get concerned sometimes about it. So from time to time this summer I've been wondering what the heck I should or need or want to do with all "this". I've been given lots of opinions and suggestions, but I kept meeting it with odd feelings and resistance and doubt. I flip flopped and changed my mind as I'd try out each new experience. I am not a fan of divination or looking into any future and my pre-cognition sucks; as well my guides and Erik will rarely tell me such things; so, I never even wanted to ask another medium about it. I wanted to figure it out on my own. Well,

Last night before bed; I emailed Robert and Erik with my thoughts. I wrote:

"After this weeks emails and channeling for people, I think I may have hit upon what it is in part I am here for. Not a medium, not a professional intuitive, not a healer, not a life coach, not a teacher, but rather... A spiritual coach. Don't know.... I keep thinking... Am i afraid, am i afraid of any of those things? Maybe, but why? Which of those things bring me the most joy? Helping people help themselves does. Being there for them does. I want to show them a greater reality. I want to help them find their heart and souls not tell them their destiny or reunite them."

And I went to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night, checked my email--"I had asked them if i was off base." They had replied, " not at all". The time when i woke up was 1:11.

And I feel such a release and ease about this epiphany if you will. Like an ah-ha moment. I know it's another label and That's not to say I wont explore everything else and still work on the rest, It's just to say, I feel more pointed in a direction that truly makes me feel joy.

Aug. 09, 2011

It's a great day. No humidity, low 80's. Although I am having huge allergy problems. Up all night with sinus grossness. This morning too. It feels like hot pokers up my nose, eyeballs. Had a spirit visitation last night that I had no clue who it was. I kept seeing this lady with a bee-hive type hair, although I wanted to say she looked like she was from the 1800's. I started spontaneously channeling her, and the put a stop to it. I don't mind spirits coming to me and showing me themselves, but I am not interrupting my sleep for anything. This morning i saw a white plasma cat shape dart across the kitchen. Not sure. It startled me. Last night on the phone to a good friend, Erik or Andy....i suspect gave me a poop smell. So gross. I raced around the kitchen checking shoes and found nothing but laughter. Tonight I have a dinner party to attend, and then tomorrow I have a distance Reiki session planned. I am waiting for the weekend to channel. I hope to get caught up then. I feel bad about not being able to get to people in a timely fashion, but family, home life, and work, and everything else take up too much time. Not that I am complaining, I am cool with it. Just feel like I have to put out there that I have every intention of getting to as many as I can, only I can't promise any turn around time.

Aug. 08, 2011

Back in town and very pleased to have access to a real bathroom/ shower, clean clothes, and a clean dog! I had a very nice time with family. 9 people and 5 dogs in a 2 room kreasote log cabin on the shore of a Wisconsin lake. The weather was fairly humid and hot, and it rained out most of one day, but we all managed. Everyone has a nice easy rapor and there was plenty of good eating. And best of all, is that the dog didn't get any ticks! There is something wonderful about sleeping in a tent during a rain. The ting of the pitter patter on the roof is very relaxing. Also wonderful was the sound of the "loons" and other waterbirds calling across the water. Getting back into town was an uneventful race of traffic and returning to a very dry garden gave me plenty of work with the watering hose. But I was able to share some vegetables with the neighbors. And make a wonderful dinner. Eggplant, yellow tomato, sun-dried tomatoes, garlic, onion, and fresh herb pasta, all from the garden. Although; my weekend was slightly marred by a disappointing sad experience with a friend in crisis, battling suicide, depression and life. They are getting help as best they can given the situation. But it added a somber touch to the week. Other than that, I have a small back log of people to channel for; but depending on life, I wont be able to get to it until Wednesday or this next weekend. I'll have to see then. One thing at a time I guess. But back to my friend. It brought to mind the following:

"Life is a choice. We either work hard, work through it, and struggle with duty and service to others now.... Or later... There are things in physicality that we can not achieve in spirit. And to work at mastering them here is very important. I feel we have so much to offer our fellow man, though we often can not see it now. Only by healing others can we heal our self. I feel we should transition from living with dislike and self misery to living to help others. In that will we will find the small happiness-es worth living for. I feel we should fight harder, and share our burdens. We can be so much stronger with each other here than in spirit.

So many in our world see suicide as a way out, the only way out. I'd like to suggest life is a way IN. Into the heart of ones soul. The way to master ones self through hands on experience... I feel there is always opportunity to help others do the same; Help life, help others live to understand themselves, and their potential. Help them discover the joys of service to ones neighbor, community, and world. There is good in this world. Sometimes all it takes is each other to see that. We have to keep trying. Never give up and together we can make life better. Choose life. Live life."

Aug. 04, 2011

Off to the lake. See you next week.

Aug. 04, 2011

Random thoughts

What are all the reasons people look for validation? Proof, vision, continuance, physical phenomena, guidance, loneliness, fears, doubts, boredom, hope, proof that they are sane, fame, thrills, money, communication, companionship,? So many reasons that everyone looks in the hope that they are not alone, that their is more. They sit, they wait, they explore, read, and cry. They sit with baited breath and expectations of what, they know not. But this, this all is just yet another reflection of our time here an inner knowing of the illusion that is life. An inner knowing that there is more that we are more, that we are a part of something more. Our inner soul's cry out for balance, harmony, unity, healing, courage, remembrance, knowing, understanding. For me, i know there is more. I have no doubt; But I too still look. For me while i do look for spiritual bonds of love and friendship. I look for what will help me serve others and myself. All else is something that will not fulfill me or help me grow. And so if that means I never hold their hand, hug them or see their face until I pass, so be it. I know through their influence I am a better man and better equipped to help others. And for that I am grateful.

********************************

Hand holding has taken a negative connotation in our materialist society. We use it in a negative thought when we feel forced to help others. We see it as an imposition. An example of taking a positive and letting it serve our negative feelings. But hand holding is a natural symbol and metaphor for life. It is a means of reaching out in freely given support. It is a means of affection, love, and friendship. Would you like it to signify a bond or a chain? I prefer to think of it as a good thing. I feel life is better when I hold your hand.

Aug. 04, 2011

I fully realize the following thoughts are not helpful to those in the midst of pain, suffering, and dealing with the loss of a child. It is just some thoughts I had today. A musing.

Death is as much a subversion of a poorly explored cultural idea as it a feeling of loss. We are taught, raised, and told what to think. In fact, in Western society we are told NOT to think. So that when the event happens we have little understanding or support, in so that we are left with overwhelming emotion and no where to go. It becomes all consuming and all important, yet we struggle to manage it in our lives.

To many we have been raised in a culture of fear of death, as an end and separation to all that we are, have been and will be. This is an attachment of the most nebulous kind. One in which ideas, faith, promise, feelings are attached to inconclusive, in-concrete, half formed thoughts of would haves, should haves, and might have been's. Because of our fears our emotions have no form to take when we internalize and try to explore these feelings. The materialization and theology of the modern life has taken the soul out of eternal life and left us with a taboo topic. One of the greatest releases from the turmoil of death is to not only realize the continuance and immortality of the soul, but to fully 'live' next to and with this reality.

Validation of the life does not have to mean disrespect or neglect of a life just lived, but it could mean a celebration of a tool used in the furtherance of the souls great adventure. An attachment to the limiting view of this life full of societies labels, and others thoughts on what you should and shouldn't feel is a short path to further misery. A loving detachment can help heal our separations. To know; we are not just this body, we are not just this intellect, we are not just this life. That we never die, we will continue, and that bonds of love are never broken. So in parting, it might be wise to tell our children;

Do not be afraid of death. When your body passes, the universe will not loose anything, but it gains much for now you will have so many more opportunities to be you. Do not fear or worry too much about how you feel despite this knowledge. It is only a sign of your intent to share and take part of this great adventure.

Aug. 03, 2011

I am doing much better I think. I was home yesterday with allergies and fairly significant sinis inflammation. But the odd energy seems to have dissipated yesterday and today. And I feel fairly good. I got a lot of personal home life stuff done yesterday and spent good quality time with family. It was refreshing. It's been an increasingly hot and humid summer here, and finally the dew points were down this morning at 60 or below. It was so refreshing. Even after the decades here in the upper Midwest, having grown up in a dessert environment, the humidity really hits me hard.

Today I wrote to Chris from the Bristol Spirit Lodge who in a recent seance report talked about some physical phenomena she saw. She wrote/ said:

"Note: The fluffy pink and purple clouds seem to congregate around the corner where Chris sits. This has been noted on several occasions over the years....and Chris herself has always been 'suspicious', feeling that FC (the circles guide) might have something to do with it. Now and then it has occurred to Chris that the clouds seem to have some consciousness. This is due to the fact one pulsating cloud has (more than once) come closer to her face, and then upon her request has withdrawn slightly. The mystery remains."

I wrote to her:

I have a colleague that also sees these types of manifestations. She also see's pink, purple clouds, as well as green and red. She has been told by another medium that they are Angelic in nature. And she feels she is in communication with them on a clairaudient level. I feel she is correct. We have also seen this type of phenomena reported elsewhere online. I have only seen colored cloud- plasma like manifestations when I was a teen. And that was Erik. When I have objectively as an adult seen plasma like manifestations it has been shades of black and white only with colored lights amongst it. All very faint. Subjectivity and objectivity aside. I wonder what the circle's guides and human spirits would have to say about non human celestial beings within the group, and how this would be manifested physically as opposed to a human spirit/medium interaction.

When I have tried to sit to manifest further cloud/plasma manifestation, nothing happens other than in the black and white spectrum, and shadow movement around the room. Part of me wonders if male or female vision is a factor, or if I am slightly color blind as I age. Not sure. Part of me wonders if such things are a by product of energy manipulation or the direct intent of said Spirit. As I mentioned. While sitting, I have tried to increase this movement by going in an out of light trance, but that only increased the movement of the shapes and orb lights and not the color or cloud matter.

In any case, I just thought I'd put that out there.

Aug. 01, 2011

I am still feeling weird energy. It's hard to describe. It's alternating. Waves. Pulses. High low high low high. It's like a cross between a caffeine-sugar-allergy meds high but happy, and a dizzy achy head ache. And I feel strange and expansive. Like my center of me...is off. I think this related to the stuff from Saturday. I am certain it's not another spirit. I check, rechecked and double checked with my guides, angels, and teachers. Even asked for help. They said I was fine. That's when I asked for Roberts help. I did my usual shielding and Reiki on myself. So odd.

On another note, I have family commitments during the evenings all this week, followed by a camping trip up north this weekend. So if this weird stuff clears I might be able to channel some at work, if not I'll wait until next week and just use this week to catch up on my research/ homework.