July 2012

Summer - Fall, 2012

Summer hiatus -- In general I'm on hiatus from regular posting as I am exploring a few avenues of personal exploration, such as book writing, and spiritual development. I am sure I will continue to post from time to time in my Erik and Musings sections and still take some Q & A's.

July 13, 2012

Personal Musings: The importance of allowing our emotions

In my own life I've encountered moments where I feel overwhelmed with seemingly negative emotions. Be it fear, shame, guilt, depression, anger, pain, issues of self love. Sometimes I know where it comes from; sometimes it doesn't feel like me; most of the time it comes from a trigger. I've also had friends of mine talk about this sort of thing in their own life.

I think in this day in age when people are busy exploring their spirituality and are moving from old ways of thinking to new out looks in life, I think the universe tries to bring up feelings about old beliefs and experiences so that our attention is brought to bare so that we might heal. A lot of times, when this has happened, I've been completely caught off guard, and in distress.

I remember telling you all, that if 2010 was about waking up to Spirit, 2011 was about exploring it, 2012 was about healing. For me, since this past winter, I've had quite a few experiences with this sort of thing. Emotional upwellings seeking to be healed. And they've ranged with issues of fear and self love. Some from childhood experiences, and some from my own misconceptions, and others getting to spot of love and gratitude and worth for myself.

Looking back over the past year, I find myself truly grateful for this turmoil and work I've undertaken. It's helped me remember who I am, what I needed to look at.

The energy of those tumultuous feeling wanted attention. They were neither good nor bad. They only wanted acknowledgement and release. I found through friends help, I was able to approach an honesty and look at myself an choose love over fear.

All that fear and self loathing was my unfinished business if you will.

I remember periods of time where I felt like I wasn't worthy of love. That I wasn't worthy of friends, and so not only could I not have relationships in this life, but by refusing others love, I was somehow protecting myself from pain, hurt, and rejection. And it wasn't just manifesting on a human flesh and blood level it was creeping into my relationships with Spirits as well. I remember discovering some past lives I've had with Spirit's I interact with and being shocked to disbelief that anyone would love like that or want to be my friend or want to maintain friendships that lasted across lifetimes. I remember getting things validated through another medium and just totally breaking down because it was such a release of emotion to me, such a realization that not only was there people out there that wanted to give me love, but that I was worth it, and there didn't need to be any shame in my life.

Then there were other moments where all this deep seeded anger would boil up from interactions with my parents and people in my child hood....Deep emotional traumas, scars, and pain. The ways in which before life, my loved ones agreed to treat me so that I would be forced to come to terms with the deep inner love that embodied my true soul. All this was so scary to deal with. It almost crippled me.

Just the other day, my guide said to me, "You're gonna learn to love yourself without checking out early, no matter what... not even if it kills you, but because there is nothing else. You put yourself in these situations, because you fear, and you don't feel worthy, and you've felt that you can't endure the pain. There is nothing but love, and so nothing really to endure, but the love you can generate in every possible situation. You're more than that of course, but that love is who you really are. In everything, in child lose, in sexuality, in service, in servitude, in war, in entertainment, in motherhood, in fatherhood, in slavery, in art, in words and deed."

You may ask, why am I going on and on about all this emotional woo-haw. It's because clearing out buried emotion is important for expanding our consciousness. To work with our energy we have to look at it. And that means no burring it or hiding it under a rug. If we bury it, it will come out sooner or later and in ways we may not like. When we begin to feel emotional things in our life that is uncomfortable or painful, we should not shy away from it, but thank the universe for the opportunity for new growth.

But here is the thing. When all this emotion blasts into us. It's important to ground ourselves. This energy is not returned to your awareness to torture yourself with, for you to identify with but for you to acknowledge, greet, love, thank and release. It is in these intents, that the universe will present you with the true origin of this energy. Then, when you look honestly and fearlessly at that origin, you can begin to ponder what is really going on and what about yourself you can learn from it. In that moment your burden will begin to release. Send it on it's way with love and thanks.

Just look, observe, allow yourself to feel without judgement. Don't act on it, as then you will have to deal with more consequences of the original cause. Act on your emotional turmoil and you will give it new energy to manifest. So don't fear your emotion, don't have shame, or guilt, or even anger, just accept it, love it, and seek to understand it. The key is to give yourself permission to feel again. And to be brave enough to face what emotions comes.

This does not release you from ever undergoing these painful experiences again, but it will allow you new expressions through such experiences, you will master them more quickly, and you will be able to create ever greater experiences. All of which will allow you to understand who you are.

You see, this perceptual work, is the shifting of your consciousness. It is the shift into an awakening of a greater you.

ps..

I was telling my guide, Thank you, That I was grateful for the fear, (my paranormal experiences),

and I said, "But next time, I want the claw on the back to be a hug and kiss." :) (wink)

And as I was typing that... him and Eric were showing me a visual of them laughing and Eric holding a Halloween rubber glove in the shape of monster hand/claw... and it's all oversize, flip floppy, and rubbery, and he's wiggling it off and making it wave all exaggerated and totally silly , while he giggles and makes fishy kiss kiss sounds.....

...It was all a dog and pony show to get me to let go of fear and embrace love.

July 12, 2012

Guest Interview

As you may have noticed, over the past few weeks from time to time spread over my "musings, journal, and Erik journals" on this site; I've highlighted some of the material, channeled or otherwise from Nikki's Spirit Team. For those who don't know, Nikki is the incarnate mother of one of the guys on my own Spirit Team, or gang. That would be Eric. While we have not fully fleshed out Eric's story in a public fashion yet, he, her father, and more I am sure, share common soul associations and interact on a regular basis. Together along with guides, Angels, and others we help each other probe our spirituality, the nature of the universe and our personal realities. As time has passed, we've become more and more comfortable with this process and the sense of comfort and family has increased. In that light, I would like to share the following transcript, a Q & A with our Spirit Team on the nature of Love and personal life journeys. We hope for many more entries in the years to come.

**************************************************

7-12-2010--- Channeling transcript --- The nature of Love and personal life journeys

Incarnate: Jason, Nikki

Dis-incarnate: (Known Spirits) Eric, Earl, Elle(Angel), Malcolm, and more

Answers provided by Nikki and Spirit:

Hello Nikki,

Jason here. I was hoping I could ask you and your Spirit Team a few questions..... You've always said to me, That's not my journey, "Everyone has their own Journey".

Question:

What does it mean, when you say everyone has their journey?

In a nutshell it means we all have a prebirth plan we are working on. Often that plan involves others who will contribute and relate to the events, emotions and experiences. It will appear that they are on the same path at times as they have agreed to play a part.

Question:

What does it mean to you? Specifically in your life now, vs. before Eric died?

I was told in a reading that I needed to stop questioning Eric's actions and let go of any worry or guilt as his life was his journey. For him his journey was perfect. It was a reminder from master, teacher, angels et al that I played a role in his journey but I was not responsible for it. I have my own journey to live. If I was going to dwell on his journey and his decisions I would be passing up the opportunity for my soul to experience the journey it had planned for this life. My soul had planned a part in Eric's journey, as his mother I was closely connected via the mother/son bond and the love a mother carries for a child throughout their life.

My Soul graciously agreed to go thru this tragic event. Not only to help Eric on his journey but to allow growth on my journey. The opportunity to experience grief, spirituality, belief in eternal love, planned lives, soulmates and divine love. Before Eric died I lived my life loving my kids with all my heart. Nothing made me happier than to be with family. I wanted them to be happy and healthy. To experience the best of the best and be all that they could be. It wasn't until Eric died that I realized how much I had worried that they would encounter bumps in the road and disappointments etc. As the loss of Eric unfolded and I allowed myself to trust in my angels, spirits, higher self I realized...there is so much more. Our journey is not just this life. It is an eternity of lives and afterlives. What we experience in a single life is but a speck of the opportunities and experiences. Every soul is on an eternal journey. And more importantly at a different stage. That doesn't make one soul better, it makes for a multitude of opportunity, duality and experiences. The single lesson thus for, for my soul is..love is ALWAYS an option. No matter what the circumstance, what souls are interacting at the time, you have a choice to choose love. When you become aware of that single option you change. You allow yourself to see things thru the eyes of divine love. Every time you choose love you are divine. Love is the light, love is the connection to joy. The truth will always be found in love.

I had moments of anger, resentment, shock, heart squeezing pain in the loss of such a beautiful, loving, happy son. I could have chosen anger, hatred, guilt...or LOVE. By choosing love, I chose to stay connected to my son. To allow him the freedom to make his journey, which in turn expands the souls of all involved.

Question:

Are there multiple meanings?

I don't think so. A journey is a journey. it cannot be defined as anything other than the experiences of the soul.

When you allow yourself to think in such simple terms you allow forgiveness and love to take control. That person that makes you angry, that teen that seems self centered...they are playing a role for not only their soul but those on their path at the time. Maybe it was just an intersection for your soul. A quick stop sign and reminder that answer the choice is always love. If we only saw love, joy and truth in our lives...we would never have to choose. We can't know exactly where every soul is on their journey. But we CAN always choose love. Do what feels best for your soul. Choose love...walk away, mentally send love to that person, smile and hope they feel the love in your heart. You may have been that soul at one point. There is no room judgment.

Question:

Is there anything in that statement that unities us?

Everything. We are all connected. Yep, even that crabby old man and that obnoxious teenager with the droopy jeans is part of God's divine love. The more we choose love, the less irritated we are with the physical. Take away the crabby old face and the cocky attitude and you have a soul full of light. It's all a process of allowing our soul to experience, to feel, to receive and give love. Sure its tough. WE like what we like. But is it so hard to let it go. To just choose the high road and love. Every day there is an opportunity to feel love. Both in receiving and giving. You cannot receive love if you cannot give love. You wont know what love is..how can you receive something you don't know. As we continue on our individual journey's we simply discover no matter what the circumstance, the environment, the emotions we are perfect. We are worthy of love and therefore capable of loving.

Question:

How does love fit into it....?

Love is the answer. Love is all you need. Choose love.

Question:

Part of me, when I hear that phrase; part of me feels like it's being used as a cop-out or excuse to not have to deal. And yet at the same time, I know and feel this is just a form of emotional resistance in that I am uncomfortable with others, and how I think I should or shouldn't react to their problems/ life/ journey. How do we honor them, and ourselves at the same time?

We cannot know every soul's journey. Just keep in mind that you are given opportunities to experience. You do not have to go down that path unless you choose. But all paths lead to love. You can take a path that puts you alongside someone in deep distress or pain or doubt. If your soul wants to travel this path for growth purposes you will feel drawn. However, you are always given free will and can choose a different path. Whatever you choose is perfect. There is no wrong. Your soul will benefit from every choice. Trust that the best outcome is at the end of your journey, find joy in each and every path and when in doubt choose love.

Question:

I also want to hear about your personal experience with the phrase.....

"If it's not love, let it go"

With out a doubt there will be times when we encounter that which does not feel like love. How can we know how awesome love is, if we do not know the feeling of lack of love? Is that hate, is that fear? Whatever you want to call it, it will be put in our path for growth purposes.

But we always, always, always have a choice to choose love. Our soul's growth would be one of just minimal change if we only encountered little bumps. Often it seems we are on an unpaved path...bumpy, potholes, annoying and unpredictable. Those opportunities are what we have agreed to experience. Over and over we will be given the choice to choose love or fear, love or hate, love or guilt. Just as you think you have conquered that experience...another comes up. As if your soul is saying..do you really get it? How about now? How about this way? The more confident we become the more we choose love the more the other choices seem inappropriate. Never doubt love. It is always the winner. The angels rejoice, the spirits celebrate, your perfect self shines when you choose love. There is no failure, there is no wrong because eventually you get it. Whether it is in this life, the afterlife or the next life. Love always wins.

A journey is a journey is a journey. It helps to remember to focus on our own journey...THAT is what we are here for. NOT to judge another's.

J>O>U>R>N>E>Y is about ur JOY n(othing) e(else)

Thank you to Nikki and her Gang!

---Lots of love to all, Signing off,

Jason and His Gang

July 12, 2012

Out of town guests for the remainder of the week/ed. Doubt I will be able to post much. We'll see how it goes.

July 11, 2012

A friend and I had an interesting conversation this morning about visual manifestations. I thought part of it would be useful to post here for others.

She said,

"I do seem to be seeing more static forms as opposed to swirling fog, but still cant identify, had a huge staticy something hover over me, very cool."

I replied with,

"Ok, .... Static/ color, fog.... I know it's one of your talents, but the little bit of static junk I can perceive... My guides have ALWAYS made a point time after time, to tell me that the only real way a human incarnate can discern identity from static forms is by presetting my intent to who I want to interact with. The reason for this is because there are almost always more entities around than we are consciously aware of at any given time. For example, Lydia, Erik et al.. have friends and companions, teachers and students, and just lurkers...... who can hang around them. In my own case Erik and Lydia have told me that a lot of the stuff, I've seen or experienced was actually them using me as a teaching guinea pig so to speak. Like an artist model in a drawing class for those they were teaching. I remember way way long ago before I knew about Erik, but had just met my guides. I was sitting in my living room watching tv, practicing trance. When all of a sudden, in front of the door, I saw a very very clear static, white, glowing outline of a man about 8-9 feet tall. They told me it was just someone they brought in to help teach me about spirit manifestation. That's all the info I ever got.

So what I am trying to say is, as frustrating as it can be, don't get too irritated with lack of identity. Personally, I don't know that "that" type of manifestation ever gets easier, unless, one combines it with other things like, clair-something or another, OR setting intent."

July 10, 2012

I was having a rough night. I've been working really hard in the yard. Last night I built another garden fence, made dinner, and then moved furniture from the basement to the ground floor. My physical chronic pain was pretty bad, plus I was all stressed out from people I know who have family members who are dying, and stressed out over house guests, company, and managing life, along with my own crazy spiritual stuff......that said, Eric sat up with me off and on from 11-12ish? It's was one of those situations where "they in spirit" altered how interaction is, significantly, from the norm and one then questions what's going on. Lots of different physical sensations. Everything from foot pins and needles to air moving up my body, to feeling like someone holding me from behind, sitting up on the bed against the headboard rocking me, to warm head hugs. It's really hard to explain except if you can imagine being in the womb, or in water wrapped up in a soft 3d tube that can compress and hug you, waves of movement and energy that move up the body. It feels very much like the rocking of a boat. The energy comes from up under you through the bed. As if one's energy actually extends out through and from the bed as if the bed really doesn't exist at all. Or the bed is a part of you. As if it could suddenly ripple and wrap around you in a soft gentle way.

I think a lot of people (like me) get into emotional trouble because they want, desire, and expect Spiritual interaction with the dis-incarnate to "feel" like interaction in the physical. And while energetic, mental, and emotional interaction is very possible, it's also very different than physical expressions. I think perhaps the problem is that they see it's as Apples and Banana's. They see the two modes of interaction as mutually exclusive. That they have to accept one or the other.

I think to help alleviate this emotional pain is to remember that spiritual interaction and physical is really about a wide spectrum of possibilities. And that our lives here fit into a very very narrow range of or in that spectrum of light. That just because our waking consciousness can only see red, green and blue, that doesn't mean we are limited to seeing those colors. Or that Spirit is limited to them.

Here let me give you an example. I have spirits with whom I have more emotional 'conscious' attachment than others. I often interact with those spirits in certain specific ways that helps me identify with them, that other spirits out of respect or feeling do not. And so from time to time, especially when i am feeling out of sorts, I'll start expecting and demanding that type of interaction, when and how I want, and If I don't get it, I get all bent out of shape and get my feelings hurt. Which of course will often get me to pouting, whining, and pissy.

I think Spirit would prefer if I would try to more fully embrace the fullness, unity, and overarching knowing of acceptance that all is one, and that pervasive thought is felt where ever it is directed. That I might find a better use for all that emotional energy. So then it's really about me actualizing my connections to spirit as a real thing, as a ever bearing, ever present connection as an objective reality. It's one thing to know, it's another to have it be so real that it's an automatic part of your life. But really another part of it is that I tend to use Spirit as a substitute for human interaction relationships. I am not certain if the natural progression of the so called shift is to have spirit/human interaction to be as important, real, and normal as a physical one on one interaction. But for me it often is.

For example, I don't see Erik or Eric as dead or even as a spirit. I see them as an equal of my brother, father, spouse, friend. I am not sure if that's good or bad. I am not even sure what they think of this. So along these lines, as I was saying earlier.... I, like a lot of spiritually sensitive people, (mediums) I tend to treat spirits like people, and so I often catch myself with emotional attachments and then start finding myself expecting them to behave "in the physical" in ways I want, expect; and when I don't get it, I get upset. I have to remind myself, while the world is changing in it's perceptions of human / spirit interaction, there is still a temporary physical limitation that for me that has to be worked with. I have to tell myself that I chose to come here to work. I have a job to do, and That means duality limitations. And that I just have to be patient and get back to work. This sort of thing is difficult to talk about with those who don't sense spirit or who don't believe in the afterlife as something present all around us. That's fine. I am just saying that as a developing medium, such things exist and are interesting to note.

July 09, 2012

Good article!

"Loose the Maybe" -- by Erin Pavlina

http://www.erinpavlina.com/blog/2012/07/lose-the-maybe/

I think I will try out the excersise she talks about. I've been crabby the past couple of days, I think this will help me get out of my funk. If I like what I come up with I'll share.

Another interesting article.

"Absorbing Psychic Energy" -- by Linda @ Dragon of Personal Drama

http://www.dragonofdrama.com/the_weekly_lessons

http://dragonofdrama.com/ssllessonarchives/ssl51-current/Lesson70AbsorbingPsychicEnergy.pdf

As per Erin Pavlina's latest blog article, I mentioned above...

My current thoughts on such lists as they would pertain to me.

The excersise said to each item on your yes list put an “E” next to it if it energizes you and you love it. And put a “D” next to the items that drain you. or like or dislike...

YES list

(things I usually enjoy with some level of off and on passion)

Blogging /website---E

Writing with the spirit gang---E

Being their for the boys(e,e,a) even if /when limited/ misunderstood or confused---E

Interacting and sharing with long distance CE related friends ---E

Spiritual exploration---E

Hobbies---E

Art and creative stuff---E

Reading---E

Email correspondence---E

Gardening---E

Cooking---E

*******

Yes, but...list

(on occasion enjoy ~ if on my terms)

Doing readings for people ---E

Coaching/ Training ---E

Helping people with paranormal problems ---E

Being there for local friends when they need me ---E

Blogging when I don’t feel like it ---D

Surfing the internet ---E

Being married and all that pertains ---E

Having pets ---E

Home ownership ---E

Entertainment ---E

Writing ---E

*******

YES by Default

(things I have a commitment to willing and unwilling) When I labeled something as E & D..... it was because if I don't feel forced.... obligated or stressed I enjoy it.

Work for money (job/career) neither E or D.... varies

Current state of health ---D

Blogging when I don’t feel like it----D

Checking in on my parents/ blood family----D

Tidying the house----D

Running errands----D

Sleeping---D

Cooking for spouse everyday ---D

Writing and blogging every day ---D

Feeling like I have to be happy and ontop of everything---D

*******

maybe”

(things I like to pull into life that I am currently aren’t doing)

Exercise ----D

A return to Spiritual routines----E & D

-ie, reiki, channeling, mediumship,

Be more engaging in my marrage ---E & D

Be more cognizant of my state of being ---E &D

Write---E & D

write with or do things with CE and related folks on a regular AND equal basis E or D depending on their level of engagement

*******

“no” list.

(no if's and's or buts, no way no how)

Interviews

Facilitation medium (grievers, disbelievers, divination)

Workshops

Group readings

Doing Spiritual in a business or for profit model

Anything to do with math

Social media (facebook)

movies, tv, or any sensationalism, entertainment

Interpreting people’s dreams

Working with astral travel or aliens

Traveling to far off places to assist people with paranormal problems

mean people

Working 7 days a week

lazy people

evangelical or fundamentalist people of any religion or political persuasion

*******

July 03, 2012

Hot in the city. Aside from a possible stray post, I am off with family for independence day week.