August 2012

August 31, 2012

Sample page from the book, I am making. Click on the image to view it full size.

August 30, 2012

We are born, we live, we die. Bodies lost to memory. Our abodes to dust, our lives to experience. And yet, my love for you lingers. What I feel I can recall with fond solidity that only seems to grow. Who am I in that feeling. Who are you. Together, we should do it again.

***

What is the difference between learning a lesson and understanding experience? Perspective of choice. We are the judge, jury, and the ultimate creator of our destiny. It is our point of view when asking questions about ourselves that creates distance. In reality, there is nothing but remembering who we are.

***

It is not that we are punished, or punishing ourselves through suffering. It is that we can remember who we are by experiencing hands on what we are not. For some this is helped by cause and effect across lifetimes until perfection is satisfied on a soul level. For others it is a non issue, there are better ways. It is we the brave who choose to master our selves through experiencing all that is. We are strong. We live through it all to create love anew.

***

Afterlife TV on Youtube; I've not checked it in about a month. Turns out he's got 4 new videos. They seem very interesting. Maybe you'd think so too? :) http://www.youtube.com/user/AfterlifeTVChannel/videos

August 30, 2012

When we know of love,

heard it,

seen it,

read about it,

understand it,

but for whatever reason,

we just cant quite touch it,

we should not fear.

It simply waits for us

to give it

***

You laugh at my melancholy musings,

yet I wait to cuddle.

***

Shame lingers where action hesitates.

Regret devours doubt.

But love and joy release each other

and give birth to food.

Do what brings you joy.

***

Over the graves,

sunlight creeps

long shadows

orange light

finger reach

over treetops.

Gentle blows

the breeze,

yet rain comes.

***

One of life's greatest feats is to know that what you do outside of it is just as important as in it. Though, perspective is everything. Don't worry about the unseen.

What I mean by that is your inner spiritual life outside of this seeming physical one is always in motion. You can't see, or know that necessarily right now. But that doesn't mean it doesn't exist, it doesn't mean that it's not full, or aware, or valid. You are like a computer network. Your current body is some software running, but the rest of you is behind the scenes working hard. So don't worry. Ease your heart and just breathe.

***

You ask, but you do not seek. You demand, but do not create. You wish, yet you do not have faith. Trust yourself, believe in yourself, get to know yourself in this moment. You are not the past, nor are you the future, nor are you even this circumstance. Who are you this moment that these circumstances provide? Let the who, drive your next step. Allow the rest to fall away, for that next step is all you can control, it is yours. Own it. It is happening right now.

August 29, 2012

Where did my guides go? I am having trouble connecting.

Many times people ask me, where did my guides go? I've even asked that. Many times they say they have trouble connecting with them. I've felt that before.

In my personal experience these are not really black or white questions with definitive answers. The issues are at times complex, though we just cant seem to sort it out. You see that's because there are many balls in the air, and we are staring at our hands or feet in an attempt to not fall. So really as a spiritual sensitive we are just trying to feel where the balls are in the air. Really, the problem could lay with any ball in the air, and usually it's not bad, ill or otherwise as we would feel it may be.

For example, sometimes it's about our focus, our intention, our perception, our beliefs. Sometimes it's all emotional; worry, anger, fear. Other times it's about doubts, frustrations, obsessions, or thoughts that are way off track. Sometimes we are just not asking the right questions or asking in the right way. Sometimes it's that we are not putting forth the effort; either in dedication, time, technique, motivation, intention, or approaching them in a way that's in our best interest. And sometimes, it's purely physical, biological, or energetic on our part. For example, sometimes for whatever reason I get burnt out and my head literally feels like it will explode or implode if I communicate. It's like an over worked muscle in the middle of my head between my temples and eyes.

Then there are all the times it has more to do with stuff we can't impact that much. For example many degrees, levels, modalities, ect of communication are determined "pre-birth" or as a life plan or as part of in life free will choice that we just cant see. Some of those reasons are planned, some is simply to know would not be in our best interest at this point in time. In other instances it may simply be a guides choice in teaching style. so to speak. Sometimes they intentionally manipulate degree and strength of communication for many reasons. One could be to help you have a particular emotional experience, or physical experience. In other cases it may all be smoke and mirrors because your beliefs need changing and that's about process not right or wrong. I'll give you an example....

One of my guides is actually a relative of a living friend of mine. And a relative of a deceased friend. I met this guide before I met his relatives. He made me name him. At the time, I had all these beliefs about how guides should and should be. And I had a ton of spiritual fear. So for the first year or more of this journey, there was no way I would have accepted him as he was. So he let me think what I wanted, to give me comfort. At the same time, his relative had contracted to help me experience love through some fear scenarios. So everyone's spiritual relationships had to be hidden. Then came Erik to whom a huge portion of my attention got diverted to. Since then my guide backed off and I thought I lost contact. When really it was intention so that I could let go of my false perceptions and gain new ones. He never went anywhere. He just simply switched to subconscious guidance. And once my perceptions and beliefs changed, I discovered him all over again.

Lastly, guide communication can sometimes falter because they want us to just live, to just be, to experience balance in all states. What I mean by that, is sometimes, especially to the newly sensitive, medium or what ever... we are overly ambitious, eager, or even obsessive about communication. Sometimes to the point we begin to use our guides as a crutch instead of doing what we came here for......life.... That's understandable. Because once you discover spirit one can long for home, long for a bigger ultimate reality, long for loved ones, long for love against loneliness. We hunger for that in your face unconditional support and love. And so all our focus gets stuck on them. They are not here for that usually. They are here to poke, prod, guide, push, shove, help, and even at times manipulate and seeming hinder us, all according to the life plans we helped set up. As Erik m., once told me. "I've got your play book open, I am following your script. I've got all your notes, and outlines and moves laid out around us. It's an epic drama, and awesome play, You totally deserve an Oscar. We are stuffing ourselves with popcorn and cheering you on. It's your life man, just live it."

So in closing, if you feel a sudden disconnect with your guides or guardian angel. Fear worry and doubt not. They are always tuned into you. They are there. They hear, they know. Just take a break, sit back and just be for a while. Simply have the faith that they are always there and can hear every thought, every feeling, every word, and every action you have. Just trust that they are present by default and let your projections flow without interruption or expectation. Just because a response is not how you would have it, or desire it, doesn't mean it's not there. Just live like their family who's always there, but sometimes no word needs to be said. They are part of you. Be at peace in knowing that.

***

Just because you feel like what you are going through is out of control, doesn't mean that it's for you to control. Sometimes the whole point is just to be there.

***

What does remembering and working with Spirit do for me?

I can feel again.

I live, I can be me.

Know it

understand

experience

Explore

***

There is noting more satisfying than accepted and owned passion. Even should what its about be false, the passion is real, and true. Honnor it. U own it. Let not your heart judge it for then you set limits on it. Feel as much as you can and rejoice.

***

A mother, a father. A grandparent, a sibling. A friend, a lover. A spirit, an angel. We are all touched by love, though we rarely understand it. I think we can only understand what we allow ourselves to accept, own and give. Thats experience.

***

A long time ago i heard you say no. A long time ago i felt your rejection. For a long time Ive rejected myself. I think I am lost, yet you're still there. Whose waiting?

August 28, 2012

Some times we all get into emotional fights, arguments, disagreements with those we love, family, friends, people we don't care for. Feelings are hurt, offense is taken and given. Action is cast aside and we often become our worst judge, jury and executioner. I know that personally I am my worse abuser. The inner rat wheel of self hate and loathing is vicious and ultimately a self fulfilling trap if I let it. Sometimes I shove not only family and friends away, but my guides away with the sentiment, I hate how I feel, act, or see myself, surely they do too.

Here is what my friend Eric had to say about it.

"When are you gonna give yourself a break, it's OK to feel. Just because you get mad, sad, or happy doesn't mean you have let it eat you alive. Or worry about acting on it. Instead of running in circles judging yourself, just say, I feel this, I think this is why. Is it me? Do I have to do anything about how I feel right now? Is how I feel making me do anything right now? Will by not doing anything right now, will there be any effects? Just because you decide to beat the shit out of yourself doesn't mean we are standing around you with baseball bats. We are simply waiting for you to calm down a bit. Sure we are there when you fall. Your the one insisting labeling who we are and how we would react to you. Nothing you do or don't do is that much of a surprise to us. You think this self depreciating, self hating mental masturbation of yours is something we haven't seen before. Yeah right. Get over it. It's your life. No one is forcing you to act on shit. Just hang on a while longer and you'll see yourself in different light. We already see you in different light. We are just waiting for you to turn your light on again." -- Eric

***

People often ask me how Spirit see's them. They want to know how their departed relatives see them. There are many things I've told them, and could say. Things about energy and manifestation. Here is another.

Look at this

http://www.cnn.com/2012/07/26/travel/friends-summer-photo-tradition/index.html?iid=article_sidebar

My friend in Spirit Eric, Said this about it,

"Look at that online slide show, Now, flip through it. Look at each man and then flip through it looking at each one at a time. Then look at all of them and flip through it quickly letting your eyes go out of focus. Imagine how we as Spirit see you. You look at each of your ages, your self in time. Some years you want to forget. Some moments you hate yourself. Some you love. You long for certain ages, years, and shun others. You wonder how we see you. You wonder how we see our former lives. You wonder at what age we remain. You wonder where our love resides. Flip through the images quickly again.

Now go lay out all the photos of us. Put them in a grid. Several rows. Just use your imagination. Now step back and and let your eyes go out of focus and just feel all of it. Just feel. How do we feel to you. Not one memory, not one image. Not one age. All together. The kaleidoscope of all the images fuzzed out in a unified feeling. That feeling. That's how we feel about you. Your guide and I look at you and we only see love. That's it. Just love. That's all there is. All there ever will be. All that matters. Is your love."

August 27, 2012

A long weekend. Family. Garden. We had a storm earlier in the week so I had some repairs to do. I also struck up the berrry brambles, and even disturbed a hornets nest. Harvested a lot of vegetables as well.

I had an interesting experience last night. Although I am not quite certain who (spirit) it was. Even though I almost always ask for no visitors other than my gang, I sometimes think they disregard that. I don't mean that in a bad way, you'll see what I mean...

So I had a terrible case of insomnia last night. I was up till midnight reading, then I couldn't sleep. I think I maybe got 2 hours of sleep. So I eventually ended up asking Eric, Earl, Angel, for help sleeping and for pain relief. I remember dozing, and then waking up. Dozing then waking up. I was laying in a fetal position on my side, awake, when all of a sudden I felt an almost solid arm and hand reach around over me (not my spouse), as if someone was spooning me. I felt the disembodied arm move over me, and a hand cupped mine! I held it! It was nice, comforting, But here's the funny thing. I only felt a right hand, and forearm. And it seemed small. My size. I have tiny hands. And, I couldn't feel the entire whole hand, almost as if only part of it was solid, but what I did feel, was soft, and very flesh like. And as the size and form startled me, it roused some fear, just briefly mind you, I rolled over and it was gone. I say that because I am used to Erik and Eric's energy which is bigger, formless, and usually covers my entire hand, face, and often runs the entire length of my body. More like a blanket. I also was aware that Erik and Eric and Earl was around off an on throughout the night. I even was questioning who it was, cause I sort of wonder if it was female, like my grandma (deceased). Because I was writing to her earlier in the night. And she was small like me. Who knows. But I will say this. The only other solid, physical materialization's I've felt was before I met Erik m again. It was during those early years when everything seemed scary. One episode in particular, while wide awake was Earl's friend practicing materialization's on me, and they didn't mean for me to wake up, but I did. And I felt a hand on my back. That was scary. So it was really nice to have this as an experience in contrast.

August 24, 2012

Some lifetimes feel too important to forget, or this life is too important not to remember.....its not that meaning is lost, absent, nor are we languished in a void of meaningless. Rather as we ponder ourselves we are given every moment to create new meaning or at least find comfort that we were more, will be, and still are.

***

Hope, belief, love, doubt, fear, perception, faith, knowing, understanding. Chaos, comfort, balance. Which is more powerful? Which has more impact. Really they are just pieces of a puzzle. A game of lives, played by souls. We all master it, one way or another.

***

Last night before sleep as I lay in bed Erik said this. I typed it out on my phone. (jason)

"I feel like some of my friends are getting too upset over what other people tell them, what they read about. Sometimes the basic messages get lost. I think people need to remember the stop drop and roll thing. Take some of the worry out of the fire. Put it out. All they're doing is adding fuel to the worry fire. When really they are just going to burn out without any renewal. Really all they need to do is refocus.

If you focus on worry, doubt, fear, and if, thens, shouda, woulda, coulda, youre just gonna get more of it. Focus on what love you can dish out at the moment. Now here,.. Don't get your nose in the air and tell me all about whats wrong, and what you think is wrong or should be. That's not the issue. The issue is, 'who are you'. You gonna serve your shit with love?...or are you just gonna be a dumper?....get my drift? Some folks, all they ever ask is...what about this?, what about that?, tell me its gonna be OK...., 'No no no no...none of that my friends'. You should be asking, what can I do right now. What can I do that's gonna help me be OK with myself, my family, my community. What can I do right now to help my neighbor. Wishing, worrying, asking, and fearing over a future, or possible future, is NOT going to shift diddly crap. The only thing shifting is how your heart sees itself, and that's gonna shift experience, which on a collective level will shift worlds. Not some cosmic life jacket. Start with you, don't wait for some event others have told you about. This message is eternal. Its just about your personal road map. Its been a map for all eternity. Always will be. How many times has humanity waited for saviors, events, a rule, a way, a belief? The answer has always been whats in your heart. Not the stars, not some heaven, not in some dead kid like me. You. Your heart. Your love. Your hopes and service to each other. Folks always are seeking answers, more clarification, and expect Spirit to give you what dissatisfies you. But you see, comfort, peace, and life, what you seek, your ultimate reality...it can only come from within you. From each other. Shift your thinking today. Shift your hearts. Do you choose love. Or do you choose fear." --- Erik

August 24, 2012

Grief comes and goes in a wave. And that wave is a process like the tides.

In physicality one can not stop the movement of the ocean, one can only build ramparts against it to be worn away by natures forces, or one can ride it, and thrive in whatever nutrients and life it brings, and change and transform the rest.

I think it doesn't matter if the grief is from loss, loss of others, or something of the self. You can do a good job of being true to your highest self. And even though you'll encounter waves again, we all know one can learn your way on the wave board. Someday you can even help keep people afloat. It's no longer a lesson of sink or swim. It's about balance of experience. Always paddle out to meet your challenges head on. When your own waves are still pretty high. Know that One day you will be able to balance on your own board and know that sometimes the object of the game is not to change the wave, but to just balance and float.

***

Sometimes i wonder if walking down the street, I'll turn the corner and see him rounding it, smiling back at me. Most of the time, I just hope for not getting hit by the bus. Ever feel like that? I guess I should smile more often. I suppose I could be that guy.

***

Its hard to let go of expectation when you don't even know what you want. Maybe I shouldn't want anything I dot have, then I wont expect anything. Expect nothing, but what you can give? I guess I have to figure out what I do have and go from there. Sucks. "What I want, but know not", feels like a broken record, that song sings "u cant have". Maybe i'll play it backwards it might say, "I can give"......?

Sometimes it sings, "you can't give right now". I think that's OK too. I have to learn not to beat myself up for that. Got to move past knowing that and start feeling my way back to choosing do or don't, and living with my choice.

***

Many times people aren't willing to accept thoughts as anything but their own, so they literally cant hear. They think some how, they must silence it all. I say one doesn't empty a room, but one fills it with the sounds of questions. Always question.

***

Disassociate a visual until you can speak to it. Know it as real even if you don't understand.

***

I often find intense emotion or apathy or a attitude keeps me from spirit, not that I can't or it stops something, but in that I cant let go enough to focus. Letting go and focus are intimate bed partners

***

Some gaping wounds are not meant to heal, not because they are broken or need healing, but because they are really simply exposed foundation on the bedrock of the soul. Though we can not see it, we should not fear. In reality it is what makes us strong. The pillars of the earth go deep, supporting the heavens.

***

If love is who we are, what is that which is not? Everything not us, is not but the backdrop our lives are set against. It is up to us to paint it. Sometimes it takes practice.

August 23, 2012

Everyone sits alone in doubts silence until one's voice is allowed to be. That just means, It's ok to feel. And just because you feel it, doesn't mean you have to hold it in, act on it, or make it your own. No one is a vacuum. We are all made up all that we can be. Just because we seem to sit in darkness, silence, or the mad terror of loneliness, doesn't mean it will always be that way. One day, maybe not today, I'll be able to feel light again. When that day comes I'll be able to see again. But until then I am not going to let this worlds' judgement of how I feel bug me. I am ok. I'll be ok. Even though I may hate myself today, I know that's not all I am. I think I am worth hanging onto. I think you are too.

***

The silence of the one will always outweigh the needs of the many until those of the many reach a collective tipping point. All it takes one point. It could be yours, Your voice could be the one that tips the silence into a collective harmony for change.

***

For in your life; You are far better at discernment than any spirit or person will be. One of the points of life is to understand yourself within your personal experiences. Sometimes we just feel uncomfortable, dissatisfied, and even can experience a great deal of pain and suffering. Very often it can just be an inner resistance to accepting ourselves within each moment as it presents itself. Within each moment we can look out at something in our environment, circumstance, or people we come into contact with. We can then compare how we feel about what we understand of ourselves with how we feel in that situation.

***

What will you focus on. Will you focus on that which causes you worry, doubt, discomfort. Will you focus on how someone else labels themselves. Will you focus on their filter, or their version of future events, on a physical plane? Or will you focus on what messages they have, that resonate with your heart?

***

No high level spirit that I am personally aware of, will interfere with free will choice. It is for you, to not only experience, but to choose. There is no right or wrong in this. Every perception, every experience can hold a value to the soul. It is one of your jobs to learn about discernment and clarity. In your own life, but also to what value you assign it on a soul level. In life we get information from all kinds of sources. Some of it might be for contrast, so that you can choose who you are and will be with such information. In other cases, it is simply what you are focusing on. Truth is irrelevant to processing the feelings those encounters engender. How you process them is your personal truth.

***

A journey for Truth:

Every journey to personal truth is unique. Although one thing is for sure. It's about the process. Passing through it, can define us, but it doesn't have to limit us. The journey to this is not a rule book filled with milestones, but a cloud that transforms out of darkness and into a shape that filters light set against the back drop of heaven.

It can take many forms. And it happens off and on through life after life. Sometimes, mine goes something like this:

Old Truth:

Event:

-- I found myself initially in a state of shock. I couldn’t believe. A mistake.

-- No longer with plausible deny-ability, I recognized a message, I felt forced to move.

-- I got mad. Furious. Scared. Upset. Frozen with fear, boiling with rage. Choking on impotence. Startled with what I built, it consumed me as it collapsed under it's own weight. Time, holding, waiting, settling, time, to breathe.

-- Do I do or do I not. Pain through inaction is more than the pain of hiding. Worth is judged.

-- In's and out's. Research, no! I will bargain for gain or loss. It's not me, but it might be. Should I? Am I nuts, are you? Does it matter? Who, what, how, when acknowledges me, it, you, us, everything? Just tell me, no, can I tell you!? No, there is nothing, is anyone there?

-- I am stuck in the dark surrounded by a light I can't touch. Don't look at me. You can't see me. I don't want you to feel this. I hate me, I hate how I feel, I am not normal. I am a superfreak. I don't exist. Don't look at me, can anyone hear me? Is anyone there. Shhh I can't speak. I can't tell you. Please don't ask me, I am perfect, nothing, but everything is wrong. I hurt I am happy please don't be sad. I wish I could love me like I love you.

-- If you love me, maybe something is true, something I am just not seeing. There must be an end to this spiral. I can feel it. That must be something I can accept. Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's ok. Maybe I am ok. Maybe I am not a mistake. Maybe I belong. Maybe I am normal. Maybe it's just your opinion and not who I am. Maybe what you think isn't about me. Maybe what makes up my world, doesn't need to have anything to do with yours. Maybe I am OK. Maybe I can find something to love about that. Maybe I might be loveable. Can I forgive myself? Maybe I can love....

What I've chosen to do is to accept personal responsibility for how I experience my emotions. I don't have to do it the way society or others think, but rather I just have to be and let myself be ok with it. I know I am strong enough to accept my own opinion as having just as much value as another. I can develop on my own terms. I can implement a life maybe not how I think I want, but I can feel good about myself as I pass through it. I know this because I know I can live, or strive to live to the highest possible version of myself that I can imagine. And it doesn't have to be a goal, a destiny, a mission or duty, All it needs to be is what I can do in each moment. If I am truthful with my intentions in every action, the rest will most often take care of itself. I can acknowledge myself and be grateful that I have an opportunity to choose who I am even if in that moment I can't see very well. I will not sit idly by and allow myself to be defined by anything other than the light inside myself. Everything else is smoke and mirrors. A back drop to shine my light against.

New Truth:

Creation/ Rebirth:

August 19, 2012

No blog posts for a bit. My dog was bitten pretty bad by another dog. In the hospital, etc. No sleep. So if you don't hear from me, have a good week.

August 17, 2012

Hope everyone has a great weekend. I have a lot of gardening planned. Laying brick and transplanting plants!

***

Semantics, perspective, perception, point of view, belief, feelings, visualization, imagination. These are all illusions that show truth. How one see's this says something about our ultimate truth. How we react through experiencing them, defines it. How we understand this is the question we seek.

***

There are some lives, filled with pain. Some lives in chaos. Some without understanding. Who's entire point is to revel in the knowing of shared experience and it's release upon it's end.

***

Physical life is a cosmic conspiracy created by you. You just don't remember yet.

***

There are many questions in life where reason will always fail us. Not because we are not capable of knowing, but because our bodies just don't have the context and facility to understand in it's present state. Better to let go of what worries our heart, and love what we can. Let go of what we can not deal with at the moment. We are eternal, This pain will pass. Though it doesn't lesson it's burden. Know you are not alone. By sharing what love you can manage spread out our burdens and uplift us all. That is your gift. That is what matters. Your love, your sacrifice, your gift, I see me in you. I am grateful. How can I help.

***

A voice in the sky

one among many

catch my ears

standing alone

drawing our eyes

Beautiful

Brave

Strong

The cardinal sings.

Oh I hear the cry

Oh I hear the song

I am not alone

no no no

I am not alone

It's a voice

sweet sweet voice

red in the sky

one among many

catches our attention

Stands by your side

drawing my eyes

Beauty

so so brave

Strong

The cardinal sings

for you

oh oh I Hear that voice

That sweet red voice.

It's sings for you.

****

Participate in a community, give it passion. Realize your self within in and offer any love that comes of it, back. Participate even if it's only an acceptance of a community of one. Be at peace and give it some love.

****

If it ain't got love, and it's aint fun, Why the hell not?

***

Sometimes I think nursing a bad attitude is enjoyable. Even when I know I am wrong. I am not sure. In some regards it's a self indulgent grounding thing. Kinda along the lines of, I know I am in the wrong, but I am channeling my inner 2 year old and Iam not done pouting. I figure if I dont' at least let myself have a pitty party every once in a while I'll get resentful and it will come out in less productive ways. So I am not going to feel guilt over what I feel. I'll just choose how to act on it. so there... ha ha...(*besides: As Erik always tells me... If your'e gonna sit on the toilet with your shit, don't forget to flush!).... ha ha...

***

Don't give too much emotional investment into what you "think" you perceive in physical reality, Don't get too worked up over what you think is going on with Spiritual stuff, Don't worry over concepts, labels, and supposed prophecy, events, or futuristic explanations of what you as a soul is or isn't going to experience. We are here to pass through, gain, and participate. Not worry, not obsess over things we don't understand, and not live lives of fear, misunderstanding or other people's opinions. We are not just this body. Never have been, never will be. How is consciousness defined. How are you defined. These can not be answered by a spirit, but must be self explored. That is one of the points of existence. Better to say, "I don't know", "I didn't expect that", "that's different", "not like I thought", and then get on the best you can in line with your highest possible self, than to worry about stuff you can't touch. We are not here to argue over others worry, doubt, fear, understanding or perception. We are here to live now. Anything else isn't now and is not who you are. I encounter this all the time in my own life. So don't think because I blog this stuff all day I don't go through all this as well. I run into weird spiritual stuff all the time. It's always about am I gonna love, or fear. Trust or doubt, do or don't do. Who am I, and self love stuff. So no matter what I experience, and no matter what someone or some spirit thinks or says, I still am going to be faced with emotional choices; and how I am going to apply that in my community. What can I do now, today, this second to help. Everything else is just shapes of clouds, blowing in the wind.

August 16, 2012

Only the strong show up for more. It's a power you shouldn't take lightly. If your reading this, You showed up. You R Strong.

***

What is it like to hang with Spirit? What is it like to Channel?

There are many types of communication.

Some seemingly symbolic mental images, some very linear, and film like. Some both. Thoughts feel like sound. And sound feels like words. You can hear text and see sound. But almost none of it is audible in an external sense. Feeling equals thought, and vision equals feeling. You can get flash downloads of data and know feeling, history, inflection, nuance, sound, color, thought, ect. And sometimes you can get short bursts of thought words, or even whole interactive conversations. Other times the silence is deafening. Everyone experiences this, only they are unable to let go of how they perceive their own consciousness's point of origin. They can not easily disassociate from the body. When think thought they assume it all comes from a point of I am in the center of their brain.

* At it's basic, It's the still of the moment. It could be while your running, while your groven to music, where your driving your car, or just laying there day dreaming before bed, zoning out in lala land. You can still be distracted and your imagination can be directed. Thoughts float, feelings surge, and knowing impressions grow. Memory is easily retained.

* In many instances there is a mid level. You are fully is some kind of spaced out zone. There is a far far away look in your eyes. Your consciousness no longer feels centered in your body. As if your thoughts originate above and beyond in a space between here and there. You often feel as if your somewhere else, though you know not where. Your senses are aware of your outer and inner being. But focus on physicality becomes a light impression or a feeling, a sensation in the background. To the foreground lays the day dream come alive. It breathes and has a life of it's own. Vision, sound, feeling, thought are one in harmony. There is not front, back, center, side, there is only the picture field. The space, the zone, the dissociative unity. Communication with other is like a train, link after link after link. Where one starts and one stops can not be seen. You loose track of time. You have no clue what is going on around you and only with great effort can you disengage and then reengage at the same spot. Memory is only retained in the record of the moment, easily and quickly forgotten.

* At the deepest levels, disengagement from the body and conscious association with one's energy or spirit becomes ecstatic. Awareness of physicality becomes void. And ones consciousness is no longer there. Only energy and one's guardian remain. This is very much like a sleep state, out of body experience or astral travel. In rare instances, this is the realm of the deep trance physical medium. Where one's spirit team is able to use the medium for unfiltered communication. *(note: many religions would frown on any of this, due to their theology, cosmology and beliefs)

In all cases a sensation of union, absorption and immersion creates an altered state of awareness. A mental zone. The zone.

Within a zone are a wide range of experiences and levels of clarity, content and context. Many physical sensations can concurrently happen.

***

August 15, 2012

Q & A with Erik M. cont...

What would you say to someone who asks, "I feel like my life is pointless and doesn't matter. I get discouraged when I see celebrities, guru's, and the upper crust of society. I don't like how I feel. How do I matter, and get to a point where I feel like there is a point to my life?".

You look at others and ask that, but really you are only seeing the part of their lives they want the world to see. It's illusion. Who they really are is what they understand about how they feel about themselves. You desire something you haven't a clue about. It's only when you know about yourself that you're gonna be in a spot to see if that kind of life is really for you or not. And believe me, you are not just this life.

You have to look at your self and ask questions about what's behind the way you feel. Why do you feel like your life is pointless. Why do you feel like you don't matter. What impact did you hope to make. What about another's journey makes you feel that what they've experienced has anything to do with you? What do you want? These can all be rhetorical questions. And the point of asking them is to understand why your life matters. Your answer is in the questions you ask, not what you feel might be an answer or the resistance to answering them. You can shrug your shoulders look down and mutter, I don't know, Or I don't understand, why can't someone just tell me. I am tired of all this bullshit. I wanna be done. It hurts too much. But working this out. That drive to understand. That's the deep drive, motivation, pulse, breath, heartbeat, and life inside your soul. That's the point of your incarnation. When you come to terms with those questions. That's how you will matter. Now where you're getting stuck is your looking outside yourself and placing value judgements on others lives. Your taking a limited and incomplete amount of information and your erroneously compiling it into this false mirror and looking at yourself in it. You're saying, They seem good, happy, successful, without pain, they seem to matter, make a difference, be someone. I wanna be somebody. Why can't I have that, Why can't I be them. Here's the thing. What your looking at will never make you feel whole. Because you are saying. I want, I wish, I hope, I should, I could. Your not saying. I am, I am doing, I have, I can. It's a small switch inside your head that's covered with crap. Crap society has put there. It's been put there as a tool. Wipe if off and flip it. That's connected to a huge amount of power in your gut, that once plugged into is gonna radically change how you think, feel, act and ultimately how you understand yourself. But get this. This whole set of questions. It's not a one time switch. It's a energy system. And it's constantly shifting. And your feelings, beliefs, and perceptions are constantly shifting with it as you experience life. To really make an impact in your life, to really have a point, you're gonna need to create that point. Time and time again. And you do that by asking questions. Is this me? Is that me? Am I this? Who am I with that person? Who am I when I do this? Is this me? What makes life a success is actually pausing within each moment of life to ask and in that moment accepting with gratitude whatever you feel that response to be. That's what being in the moment is. Acceptance of what is or isn't you. Because it's from that comfort zone that you can act. You can take a step. And it's that movement where matter is created. Where you create. Where you matter and your point is your ultimate reality. Who are you?

***

August 15, 2012

Q & A cont...

(From the C.E. forum: http://www.channelingerik.com/forum/#/20100210/lottery-2-1833182/)

As posted in the C.E. forum (various questions and responses)

"With so many people focusing on a win of the lottery how is the outcome of a Jackpot win decided? Is it still down to intention or is there something else. But how does it play if it is in your contract but so many people are focusing there attention on it to attract it. "

"Yeah so the intentions neutralize each other... You'd need special abilities to overcome everyone else who is attracting it and get it in your favor. "

"There are different realities for each of us, so I win in my reality and you win in yours. "

"I'm pretty sure there is only one reality, the same for everyone. In this reality, you might win, but then again you most likely won't... Of course we all win in this reality though, our whole life is a gift. "

**********************************************************

A) (in conjunction with my guides)

Within this system of perceived reality you call life; You participate in many other systems. Some are constructs of this system. A subsystem if you will. Many of which are co-created. From your current perspective these would seem to have been born and operate outside of other systems, have laws unto themselves and seem to be an objective physical experience. An experience in which it can seem rigged, unfair, beyond our control, or operate under a hidden set of rules, which if we had knowledge of or access to, we could somehow turn the tables on our seeming lot or even acquire some type of gain or better physical experience.

The issue at hand when questions as your's arise, is one of point of view; of the operator, and the observer. The questions as postulated, contain undefined parameters. What sort of lottery, what sort of Jackpot, who is the controller, who is the creator, what are the rules, was the experience pre-life planned, was the experience a result of free will, was the experience set up by guides in line with intention, was the experience generated via karma, cause and effect, and so on. These experiences on a soul level, are framed as emotional experience, who's context is subjective. The weight of which, would define an objective reality to those within the experience, but not limited by one view, of any one else's ultimate reality. How it is viewed; favor, boon, gift, burden, tragedy, or mundane, is and always will be for you to decide, both on an incarnational level, and on a soul level. Inside information, ability, and or understanding of these systems is secondary to the emotional experience gained on a soul level, whatever that may be. So, no matter how you view your own ultimate reality, you will end up mastering yourself by participating in such experiences one way or another, on your own terms. This is the gift we give ourselves when we are brave enough to co-create life with each other.

Now we know this answer is not going to be what you were looking for, as the reply is between the lines. You were looking for how Spirit see's the game of chance, and awarding of Jackpots for the improvement of life. You have been dis-satisfied with what you have been told about the power of intention and how it manifests in our lives. We would suggest rather that such games of chance are not about winning or loosing, but rather about opportunity to ask questions about yourself and your experience. Within that you have the chance to be who you really are at any given moment.

******************************

************************

Each of us, can move to something of who we are if we allow ourselves a passion for something that brings us joy.

******************************************************

August 14, 2012

It's already been a very odd week.

This weekend. Very strange time up north visiting family. I put some photos in of where I went. In and about Lake Superior. The town they live in is very small with a depressed economy. There is not anywhere really to go except a few local big box stores and not really much to do. The family is kind of the same in that they are not very active and, well, to put it nicely there wasn't really any opportunity to do much there. But it was ok, I suppose. I got bored after a few hours.

Saturday night. Interesting night. I forgot my c pap machine for obstructive sleep apnea at home. I didn't want to keep anyone up with my snoring. So i asked Earl (guide) and Angel to help me wake up at night before my snoring got too bad. I don't know if it worked - "for real" (haha), But they (the my spirit gang) were doing something. The air seemed thick with energy most of the night. Red and white cloud moving shapes. More like whips of opaque steam or cigarette smoke if you can imagine that. Fog like. Faint sparkles within it from time to time. Sort of pixelated static. I remember a couple of times, this mist seemed to form head-like or face like silhouettes as they then quickly moved across my field of vision from the door to and through the wall above my head. That particular form I've experienced a few times very strongly over the past 4 or 5 years. Which is interesting because this is the only year that it didn't freak me out and scare me.

A good handful or times i was awakened by various things. The first time, by knocking under the mattress, once by a rubbing sound and thudding. As if the sound and physical sensations were originating from within the mattress itself. As if someone was rubbing their hand along the underside of the mattress frame. Several times my my hand, finger or arm felt like it was being tickled. Each time, I would awaken immediately afterwards with the definitive knowledge it was deliberate. A few times by mental image elements in lucid dreams in which i knew was from Earl. For example, in one dream I was playing with my dog and another beagle I didn't know suddenly appeared and gently nipped the tip of my pinky finger and i woke up knowing it was a deliberate signal to wake up. I knew it was a signal or trigger with a certainty that sort of reverberated with clarity and realness. Like,,boom... all of a sudden I was wide awake, goosebumps all over and a "AH-HA" sensation. And then a mental image of Earl giving me a "very good" look.

Some times the dream element meant something symbolic as well. Its hard to describe, but it was one of the most unique and interesting experiences ive ever had. I think all this must have happened a dozen times. Earl said these examples,... while 'I' was conscious of them,... were perfect examples of how guides operate in most people on a subconscious level. Boo (my dog) was acting really funny as well. He was running in his sleep on his side. At one point I actually watched him jump up and start turning in circles on the bed, and then plop back down asleep. As if he did all that sleep walking. On a side note. The plasma energy clouds were more solid than ive seen them in ages. Quite remarkable.

Sunday morning, sleeping in. I also had a very odd lucid dream where I was seemingly attending some sort of spiritual ceremony. Something about graduating for adepts. Whatever that is. I have no clue what. Just remember it was like an award or recognition thing. I remember parts of it was very weird. Like a royal pageant from Thailand. Elephants and gold junk everywhere but in a modern building. There were people in it I know who I rarely ever speak to or think of in life. There was one really odd part that seemed sooo real, it was like time slowed and my perception of it zoomed down to a close up level, that involved vision, smell, and tactile skin sensations.

I was handed this cloth by an unknown person I couldn't see. It was about the size of a cloth dinner napkin. Formal dinning. White. thick linen texture. hemmed edges. Only instead of empty white cloth. There was White Porcelain round buttons or knobs grommeted on it in a grid pattern. Loose like rhine stones. They were smooth like glass. They had metal edged rings around them holding them in the cloth. They were separated by fabric of the cloth. I held the fabric up to my face with my hands And there was a word on each button in black lettering under the clear glass like covering or porcelain. It was the strangest thing. I would rub a finger over each word as though I was blind and reading braille. And As I "read" this, I heard the message as a clairaudient thought form in my head. It was a congratulations message of some sort. I don't remember what though. I do remember waking up before I could finish reading the message. This part of the dream seemed so real and profound the images from it occupied my mind for the next 24 hours.

The next day we drove back into town and I spent the ensuing day doing yard and garden work.

This morning I woke up at 3 am. I moved to the basement to sleep, as I was uncomfortable. As soon as I laid down I felt an energy on me in a tingling, pressure, buzz, hug. Very enjoyable. Head, ear, face, shoulders. Warm, fuzzy. Now I want to make very clear. That normally spirit energy is NOT an indication of identity. So if you feel it, you should not automatically assume whom it is. But you can do some things to help you figure it out. 1) You can discern from how it feels. Love, fear, or the feelings, images, and thoughts you have when it happens. 2) In general whom you are thinking of when it happens can be whom it is. 3) depending on how your experience level is, you can cast your own energy, awareness, or vision out to see via clairvoyence who it is. Or you can use your clairaudience and ask, or clairsentience to read the energy. 4) or you can do what I did (and do on occasion). I ask the energy to move to a different location for the purposes of ID. I thought at the energy. And said, "If your Eric touch me like you normally do. If your Ebo (Erik m) rub my feet. If your Earl or Angel, move to the top of my head. (allow several moments to a min. for this to happen) In about 10-20 seconds the energy moved down my body to my feet and started pulsing within my feet. Then Erik m started talking to me. Which was nice and everything. But it was a fascinating example that I thought others could use as well. When I woke up in the morning at 5:30 The other Eric showed up for his usual morning hello. He seemed slightly distant and more umm... what's the word... not sarcastic, but less energetic than usual and a bit more mellow or inclined to indulge my morning mental childishness. You know when a kid drains an adult.. Tired. yeah. That's the word. I only mention it because it was a tad unusual. Who knows. I perception is often off based on my own stuff and varies. Sometimes it takes many moments of them being there for me to notice. Distractions I guess.

***

August 12, 2012

When you sit and and ask others what you should,

it is as if you were placing yourself in a stadium.

It's noise reverberating around you

as to which play to perform.

Tune out noise

and feel

the pulse

of your heart

****

An energetic healing technique tip:

Imagine your love as a ball of energy. Imagine those you love inside it. A picture of your beloved within an orb of your energetic love. Now imagine it spinning in the air. It matters not how detailed. Visualize it traveling, spinning like a globe, picture it traveling to the physical body of your loved ones. Intend it like a water ballon and as it collides, it finds an opening through their energy field and pops with love all over. This is a way to focus your love, healing, and energy.

****

Most people participating in physicality are not going to accept a conscious participation in a greater reality because they hold too tightly to how they perceive the manifestations of thought. They see the source of their consciousness as locked in their body. To visualize, imagine, and treat the source of their consciousness outside of their body is foreign to what they believe about themselves. There is no judgement or right/wrong in this, it is simply a statement.

***

Even when the feel of you fades, I know you can hear me still. In the dark, I lay quiet and think of you. Even should my mind wander, My body lingers on wishes. I don't long, but I yearn for that feeling I feel when you are nearer to my heart.

August 10, 2012

Q & A with Erik m. cont...

(From the C.E. forum: http://www.channelingerik.com/forum/#/20100210/back-to-your-future-1831186/)

I have a DeLorean (Back to the future car) and I say to you get in and you can go back in time to any point in your life and change the circumstances, events or outcome of any or all aspects of your life. With the knowledge you have now. What would you decide or say to me? If it were me (and no I don't own a DeLorean), I would go back and change 90% of my life. Knowing what I know now.

Erik says, "umm dude....Been there, going there, am doing it, what do you mean you just got a delorian? You've always had one. I've been sitting here talking to you about a retrofit for the past 100 years...shhjeshhh....(grin).". Do you even know how to program this car? No? Well do you know what fuel to use? No? Umm dude...were gonna be sittin here a bit more....just chill man, put some tunes on and lets talk about life and shit."

Am not quite sure what your answer meant seeing as I was using the DeLorean as a metaphor to my subject matter. Anyway I would be interested to hear what Erik has to say about the subject matter in question.

Between the lines mike. Between the lines. You made a great metaphor, and Im playing with it. Joking with you. If youre going to toss balls around you gotta play the game.

Its, just like Patricks 08 August 2012 channeled transcript on Beliefs from his website www.theamendment.net the other day. We are talking about a chosen reality, a system. Before this life we all chose what physical system to drive, to play with. We all provide the fuel, and program.

So when people get dissatisfied with life, or even curious, they like to wish for a chance to play out what if scenarios. The thing though is that within their beliefs, perception, and understanding...their observation point within that system, they dont have enough info to really deal with all the variables of cause and effect. Like the butterfly paradox. So there's that, but there is also the paradox of linear time perceptions, energy into matter and back again and working with that systems data. And your consciousness, which is multidimensional and not just in that brain of yours. So you may have a delorian, but in that body, from that view, you dont have enough info to set the date. You dont know what or how to fuel it, and your not aware enough to hold a conscious multidimensional multiple focus at once to realize you already are changing the past and future as we speak. Really your focus, your point of power, your fuel and your software in your car is in the now moment. By focusing on now, you do what you metaphorically suggest by default, without this systems body's awareness. In a way, youre not looking to ride in a delorian, your higher self IS the machine... See what i mean when i was jokin with ya?

Now as far as consciously doing it...thats another discussion.

August 10, 2012

I am currently reconstructing my website over the next month. Thank your for visiting. This blog will be the main section in which new material appears. Previous content can be found in the Archives located in the footer. The new sections are above. Everything is very much a rough work in progress. Stay tuned.

August 10, 2012

My lame attempt at spiritual jokes.

how many mediums does it take to operate a cell phone",

Who knows, no one can figure out what signal to look for....

*****

Everytime I hear the word vibration I think I need to check my batteries

*****

Did you hear about how many spirits it takes to change a light bulb?

One argued that there is no bulb,

another argued over who's light to use,

another argued over frequency,

and another over how bright to shine,

finally, Erik said, All I wanna know is who's light were gonna screw....

August 08, 2012

Q & A with Erik m. cont...

I wanna be happy, but I feel stuck. I want, don't want, and just want it all to go away. I just hate it when people say, smile and be happy.

Happiness is not a thing. It's a feeling. A response to a state of being. It's a subjective measurement that is very often formed when you take in your reflection from the world around you, others, and your own memory. We seek it because we have all these beliefs about ourselves in our circumstances that may or may not actually be true or in our best interest. We desire, we seek to attain, we hope, we wish, we want. Why? Who are we if we do? I would suggest that we force a smile not in the hope of anything, but in the release of self acceptance, and simpleness. A smile doesn't need to have that complicated baggage behind it. Let go of what isn't you and accept whatever feelings that gives you. Stop measuring those feelings. They are not there to judge. They are there to get you to look at yourself and ask questions. Smile because you know you are ok. Smile because you know you will get to where you need to be. Smile because you are capable, Smile because you are doing. Smile because you've given up what you don't need. Smile because you will discover, explore and see what you need not what you want. Smile because a circumstance is an opportunity. A smile created with intent, is a focus. It is an inner mantra that you are more than. Participate enough and you might just change your beliefs about yourself, which will change your thoughts and how you feel. And that is worth smiling about!

August 08, 2012

Want can be an attitude

***

To float on the sea, my back to the depths, my face to the stars, Hold your hand, and watch the sun set.

****

At the end of my day, all seemed smoke, mirror, and dappled moonlight.

The only thing I knew was that I longed for an embrace. It seemed any would do.

****

It is not our job's, responsibility, or duty in life to overcome suffering, stagnation, or the feeling of getting stuck, but it is ours to come to terms with who we are. What is meant by that, is that we seek to find a point, or a moment, where we uncover or remember comfort. Coming to terms, acceptance, clarity, a remembering of ourselves. For some, this is seen as a balance of emotion within action surrounding a set of beliefs about one's self. For others this is about release of emotions that do not serve in self identification. Perhaps the one of the better uses of these processes are those who simply allow an intent to Be. To be more inline with whatever view of their highest possible self, in every moment. Again, this is not always easy. For one must proverbially sacrifice one's self on a cross of one's own making, burn or set light to the old on the pyre of experience. It is only after these understandings are purged, let go, processed, and understood in terms of who we are and who we are not, that room for new systems, new experiences, new beliefs about one's self can be explored. Within these new constructs new, more in line questions about the self can be created. What is important to keep in mind is that worry, fear, frustration, anger, etc., over doing, having, right, wrong, why, how, will never create motion releasing life's wheel. It is only by allowing space to just be, that personal comfort and acceptance, that we attain the freedom of choice over who we are and who we are not. The ultimate release and salvation is never an answer, but it lays in the creative power to ask, 'am I this, am I that', in choosing the question with alignment of how one views their highest possible self, one can gain the discernment to confidently take one step at a time on the path to self realization.

Another important step, on this journey is to participate in a support system. No one is an island unto themselves. If we can find, but one person who will allow us to stand before them and see our reflection through their eyes, we can hasten the remembrance of that point of comfort. It is important to reach out to those who resonate with our hearts. It's equally important not to put too much emotional identification into the desire to belong, otherwise we may succumb to the blindness of guilt, worry, and fear, when alignment of relationships shifts. We are all connected by the conscious energies of all that is. It flows through us, and in turns creates anew. There is never a point where true disconnect occurs, only the illusion of blindness when feelings about perception overwhelms the spiritual senses. Once a point of comfort is achieved and self creation is embraced, light is again shone through darkness and life seems reborn. So do not worry over those who seem to pass from your embrace, for it is a temporary illusion, that will pass as night into morning. Every night bird must sing it's song. The sad tale under the moon light can have it's own beauty. Look to those who feel like yourself. Let go with out guilt or worry those who don't. Hold to your responsibilities, and commitments that are born of love and willingness to serve. And do not worry over that which feels beyond you. For on your journey to find your true self, in that comfort of living in the now, you will be living to your highest possible self in such a natural way that what to do will come as natural as the rising sun. Your light shines by default and will gravitate to where it needs to go. Sometimes this light falls on a quiet empty path. It is not for you to worry where you are going, but to find peace with that path, or to plant what you may along it's winding marks. Sometimes that light falls along crowded highways and how you interact is more about simple participation in a way that resonates with you, and finding a peace in how you traveled along side others. But know a shared road can be a lighter road. Sometimes stopping off to the side of the road to help a neighbor can create opportunities that go far beyond the road traveled.

August 07, 2012

Garden of Unicorns

And I looked back through gardens of delight and horror and saw at its center a unicorn. Stilled by what I know not, i returned its gaze and felt kinship. An eternity, yet quick as a moment it was gone. Long will I remember its beauty. For in my garden there was a unicorn

The Flower -- By Jason at Shape of a Cloud 2009c

***

Be honest, but have compassion

Be truthful, but be loving

Be just, but be understanding

Be fair, but be discerning

Be clear, but intent-full

Be yourself, but have fun

****

I've been lost in a rainbow

in place no one knows

Ive been here before

I can't remember

just a feeling

in shadow

clouds

light

I am lost in a slumber

dreaming I've known

Together we visit

just a feeling

in shadow

clouds

light

I know I'll wake finding

a place we've known

You'll be there

so will they

in clouds

nature

sun

peace in a rainbow of love

****

You can't fulfill expectation except by that which you've already attained right now. Otherwise you won't see what you can pour into that belief. Let go of what you believe about yourself and you will find expectations are nothing but noisy empty promises. It's only by playing with what you already have that you can create more.

****

If the past defines you, embrace it with ownership. If it doesn't say anything about who you are today, simply thank it with love and compassion and embrace yourself for gained experience.

*****

Other's thoughts on their beliefs are good for exploring how we see ourselves in their reflection. Other than that, it's good to realize when our thoughts are not our own. Examine a belief to see if it resonates with us. The rest is smoke and mirror.

****

When the world falls down

and life crumbles apart,

Dance in the flames,

kick up the ashes.

And know that

the passion of your movement

breaths air into rebirth.

So stomp when your angry

spin when your sad

leap when your happy

roll, skip, tumble, shuffle

but dance when your down

Dance in the flames

hot as a coal

cool as fire

burn till it's gone

and then leap through the air

and dance till you spark

and are light once more.

***

Sometime i love the idea of loving so much i feel lost in something i'll never touch. Even then knowing that there is still that feeling and i cant help it, but i think of you. What does that say about me? Not sure, but you're still on my mind. Crazy love.

***

When i was a boy i always assumed a love like yours, as a teen i dreamed of it. As an adult i couldn't imagine it. Now i see it, feel it, but realize i cant touch it in this life. Is it real? Or am i the illusion?

****

When It rains:

What do we do

when it hurts too much

to talk

think

speak

What do we do

When we are so tired

I don't know

when I will

ever see you

When the rain

when the rain

falls in heaven

I'll see you

waiting for me

What will I do

what will I say

think

When the rain

when the rain

falls in heaven

when I see you

Waiting for me.

****

Life can be very hard. Life is hard. We strive to work it out. If we do--- you and me, we'll be in a better spot to deal with what we do have. No magic energy wave of love is gonna rescue us... No alien is going to whisk us up and away from our personal emotional journey of enlightenment. YOU are gonna save yourself by YOUR hard work. Those that have worked hard on their personal issues are going to have a different perspective. An ability to realize that we are in charge of our life and have always been. Earth always has been a place of duality to gain personal emotional experience. It will remain so. Personally, The only thing that gives me that feeling of feeling of personal salvation, being saved, shifting or of there being more out there.... Is by sharing experience with those like yourself. To pass through, participate, create, and work to understand ourselves with others who are like us. To see that inspite, despite and because of the epxeriences those like Eric and Earl and our friends in spirit help us have, sometimes because of their pain, sacrifice, and life, that there is more, that they still exisit, and so must we. It's because of that I have hope, faith, and know of love that I can keep going. Even when it hurts like a damn mothafuckr. :) Everything else is looking outside of ourselves for escape. It's only by going within and addressing who we are, that we will shift our consciousness to an expanded state of being. ALL else is simply new ways of stating this metaphorically. Nothing is new. This process has been going on for all eternity. Life, the great journey of personal consciousness within all that is. Perception, perspective, belief, feelings, thought, creative imagination, intent, understanding. These are the corner stones of who we are. All else, is smoke, mirrors, and light. Balance that, and you will BE.

****

Many things in dreams and clairvoyant vision that seem literal are highly symbolic. They pull from past lives, future lives, parallel lives, and heavily from the emotional issues of this life.

When one passes through life experiences, we very often 'shelve' or put aside understanding or conclusion of the experience in terms of psychological, emotional, and spiritual understanding for a later time. A time in which we would have more data or experience to reprocess or work out the issues or experience.

Many times this process; This for those who undergo physic experiences, this process is greatly accelerated. And so on an energetic level, Spirit helps us bring up all the emotional issues, the spiritual issues that still need to be addressed or brought to a conclusion. They are brought to the surface to be worked on, looked at, and dealt with. Once we do that, we can make room for the new. New beliefs, feelings, thoughts, and emotions. A new state of consciousness. Hopefully an expanded one.

So we bring these up through intensive inner self exploration, spiritual experiences and dreams, and many more. And when this happens, it can be in our best interest to sit down and stare what comes right in the face. This lets us make choices, and ask questions about who we are, and who we are not. If what comes up resonates with us, we can embrace it. If it doesn't and it's not who we are, or not who we are any longer, it is safe to cast it aside with thanks and love.

Putting the experience to bed. That's part of life too. Part of our inner life. This happens frequently in our dreams.

August 03, 2012

One particularly enjoyable "meditation" like activity I've greatly enjoyed from time to time over the years was practicing clairvoyant channeling by closing my eyes and visualizing to music for a half hour or less. Sometimes I did this while walking, sometimes by sitting on the couch, many times at my desk, most of the time in bed. But what is out of the ordinary from regular mediumship practice was simply meditating on loved ones past.

For example. I would just think of erik or my grandparents and try to visualize using memories and imagination a silhouette of their head, body or what not in an empty or filled room. Very often I would try to just focus on their face. Many times the room was just a cloudy foggy void. I would just picture the best I could, many times not so well, the contours of their face or how it might look. Try to picture them at different ages. And just revel in the feeling that gave me. Good, sad, happy or otherwise. Sometimes I would just visualize or imagine I was in their house or room and just slowly looking at all their things. Caressing it all with my inner eye.

Sometimes diving into memory and imagination can fuel visualizations that give birth to clairvoyant afterlife interaction, taking on a life of their own. No purpose but visualizing practice. No reason but exploring comforting connection. Set the intention of connecting with that visualization, those people and that they will impart something to help further that effort and send their love back to you.

***

And I walked

to where the the hills

met with the sky.

There among the poppies and lupine's,

I waited for you.

Though you had not yet come,

I was content

knowing your heart song

passed this way.

I could smell it's song

among the flowers.

***

I sail

heart

memories

though

half unseen.

Storm,

foggy shores,

and twilight dreams.

It would seem,

I am adrift.

On lingered

love,

lost

in arms

I can not

quite see,

but

I float.

***

Dont lament your words nor deeds for they were choices, rather look for opportunities to create more joyful choices in word or deed.

****

Do not worry over words such as master follower guru teacher ....instead.....ponder what learning, friendship, and understanding you and your neighbor can each can share.

****

Will i

Ever

Can I

Should I

What

Why

When

Tomorrow

Who

What

Choose

Say

Speak

Work

Now

Grateful

I give

Share I

Learn

You

Together

Know

Understand

Now

Iam

Eternal

Love

Blessed

***

My peace of mind only lingers for as long as i let thought of it go. And chaos reins forever as i look. Tremble not at waters edge and hold back not, for you'll never be able to look away unless you can feel from thought to eyes to hand.

***

Longing for what you may not have will only sift into what you can not, like sand through times glass you may only turn your gaze not to halt it's flow but to ponder the moment, never touching, but gazing at each grain. Better to turn it over and let it flow, again, and again until it matters not.

***

And I closed my eyes and remembered walking along the mountain trail. High-height overhead ancient trees sang sweet sap wintergreen pine across needled breath. Crunch crumble tumble gravel shifting with drips of morning fog, while the sharp cry of bluejay met the cardinal sang mountain sparrow, cried the crow. Cloud shapes above, sunlight dappled below, my heart gushed with exhaled relief. Slumbered light step, I crossed the long, the rock, the mesquite. Above is the sign, the way, I read to the overlook. That vast sky drop hundred miles fuzz of color where the earth plunges to ocean and pulls the cover of the sky over herself. The longing pulls me. Upon the crested trail, I gaze upon summer shimmer and look to my minds wish. Down down across across mountains, hill, plans and rock I imagine you waiting. I hold that image in my mind. I feel it with my tongue, like a mothers kiss, a friends arms, a lovers breath, and I see without looking. I know it. I create it with every heartbeat, and then I see myself in that picture. Suddenly I am there, and together we are forever.

August 02, 2012

If while reading, listening, or seeing a professing of ideas that makes you uncomfortable, it is not necessarily for you to internalize and apply fear, distress or worry. It is a type of focusing mirror for you to ask questions about yourself. Do I understand, Does this apply to me, Is this who I am, Does this matter to me, Does this say anything about me? With out asking intention questions, very often feelings of lack, less than, discomfort and worry will arise. These are not meant for you to hold, they are meant to help move to making a choice. In this information, am I going to choose love, or am I am going to choose fear. In that choice, who am I? Every moment you are in a position of emotional tug o war, you are at resistance from doing OR being in the now. Looking forward, backward, or outside of yourself. So worry not over nature you do not understand. Simply look inside you and ask a question, Who am I? There lays the truth. You are not worry, you are not concern, you are love. It's that easy. So fear not, worry not and let others labels, opinions, view and understanding be the reflective tool they are. Let what vision is not love and light pass in the new mornings light.

***

Keep your soul music. You don't need to say nothin, your a part of me. one day we'll wake up from this life, and if there's a ghost of a chance, I'll be following you.

***

I speak, Who am I? I think, am I? I see, are you? This body mine, co-created life began as one. One with millions of parts from life's history. My limbs hold me, my eyes look at you, and I hear your heart next to mine. It all comes from that which began as one. Some say these millions of parts within this body die and are reborn within several years. If that's true, who am I then? Where does this point of I see you reside? I am not this body.

***

When I was a small boy, I wanted to explore the world.

When I was a teen I wanted to save the world.

When I was an adult I wanted to save myself.

As I grow older

I've realized

I've saved the boy

so that he can create the world.

***

All my past fears,

having given birth to themselves,

seeking refuge without purchase,

fought and stole hearts light.

Freed from their sin,

boarded in houses

made of ill repute.

Driven from beds, shaken

into the night.

They fled

like field mice

as I soared overhead

Perched above

I watched them scatter

before the dawn.

***

In grave and earth,

in eternal slumber,

do you reach for the hand

aside your own?

Do you know who

in resting sleep,

travels into eternity

across seasoned repose.

Passing weather,

cold harsh

summer breeze

and fall's quiet twilight?

Do you both look up,

as we pass your feet?

Shall I leave flowers,

leaving not all my love

alone with you?

Long holds my mind

knowing you are not alone.

In grave and earth,

in eternal slumber,

I would reach for your hand

caring you into eternity's slumber.

***

Q & A with Spirit Cont....

How do I release the chaos of my mind, that cling like greasy plastic wrap on a hot summer day?

"I am not sure there is an answer as one has to take the deliberate action of picking it off and wiping up regardless of it's a mess or not. Sometimes licking the goo off can be fun. Sometimes fingers get burnt. Its not about if you like it or not, it's about doing. Making that choice, is it for me to do or isn't it. This mess, is it mine? Is it me? Sometimes it's better just to say, that's not my mess. it's not my problem and it's not me. Sometimes you know it's not, but you know someone needs help cleaning up. Just an experience. Just let it be that. Don't worry over it. Love it or leave it." --- My guide

***

When I close my eyes and feel energy and emotion that does not feel like me............

I sit with INTENTION and do,

I call to my loves in Spirit,

I ask with intention

for intervention.

I hold them in mind.

Imagine their being,

face, hair, skin, hands.

Hear their voice, their touch.

I see myself,

in minds eye

I see them

in minds eye.

I see us together.

I imagine our energy merge

I feel it, and allow.

All else flows,

around

through

away from me.

Together we spin,

twirl

twist

fly

fling

flow

push

pull

move energy around

me.

Cleanings light,

fire, flame,

ropes, cords

water, wind.

Spin

around

The energy in my minds eye

cocoons

wraps

spins

shell, web, shield,

disentangles

detaches

intercepts

all attachments

and

Heals.

I see this,

I feel this

I hear,

know

All that is not me

my true self

love

HEALED

and returns to Light

Gratitude

Peace

Love.

***

From my associate in the Bristol Spirit Lodge, Christine

"Next time you are hurt, try this for yourself....

Hold the hurt just long enough to find a quiet corner. Sit in the quiet and feel the pain of the hurt as it grows within you. Allow it to expand. If you need to cry then fine, do that, then sit afterwards and tune in to the hurt again and face any that is remaining. Feel the energy of the hurt. Feel the full force of energy that it contains. Tune in to it. Feel every little bit of it. Look deeply into it. As you do this you will begin to feel the force as a pure energy...it will feel no longer feel negative, it will feel to be a pure energy. When the energy is running through you as a positive force release it. It will flow from you and form a glow around you. You will have changed a negative to a positive and you will feel the benefits. "