My Mediumship Journal

02-25-2011

Trance-writing-channeling practice with Andy and Lydia #3

Jason here: 7pm

I had to change the date for this 3rd lesson/practice due to family

obligations/events. In this session it is my intent to split the

session into 2 parts. I am uncertain of outcome and am just here to be

led how ever my Spirit team wishes to proceed. But my intent is to

facilitate guidance, spiritual teaching and communication for the

greater good, in the light with higher Spirit. I'd like one part of

tonight to be on the keyboard, and the second part with pen and paper.

I will start off tonight with the usual formula: Setting of my Intent,

Thanking of Spirit, grounding, centering, connection to light, and

protection. Then I will do Reiki. Then I will start the

practice/lesson.

****************************

So far no luck as far as my expectations. Perhaps attempting a deeper

level of trance is not appropriate.

I attempted to let go and give any control for typing and felt the

strange sensation of my fingers wanting to type of their own accord.

They then seems to be jerked and electrified and seemed to dance on

the keyboard. But when I was roused upon their stopping I think it

was just jibberish and more about getting use to letting go and

letting him use my fingers. I don't know. I sit here and in my mind's

eye I see Robert and I's teacher sitting there in my mind's eye and I

ask for help and I see myself sitting next to him. I feel Andy in

front of me. and Lydia behind me.

But all I got was a super lame string of letters and jibberish with

the only words legible was (mom sad). So frustrating.

I'll try again.

***************************************

hey mom, jason is having a heck of a time letting go. He keeps trying

to get on into trance but every time we move his fingers he comes out

of it.

***************************************

Ugh.. So frustrating. Ok. I am going to go try and do the paper/pen

thing now. 7:17pm.

****************

7:28

Not sure to make of what happened. I sat there in the dark at my desk

with pen over paper. Then all of a sudden I felt the pen start to

rotate between my fingers back and forth. The I felt my hand being

moved up in a different position and I started moving it as if in some

cursive writing. I carried on to the end of the page and down again to

the next line. And then it stopped. I turned on the light and I had 4

lines of illegible scribbling. Again I am not quite sur what to make

of it. It literally felt like someone was in control of my hand. I

think it was a guide. It didn't feel like Andy. Although he is here. I

can feel his energy lightly on my head and face and see him in my

mind. I can clearly see his energy in-front of me on the key board

between me and the monitor.

***********************************

Well Andy what do you think about this?

-you didn't try for very long, I think you should keep going. You only

allowed yourself to let go for less than 5 minutes. How are you going

to learn that way.

Well, I keep getting distracted by all the crap going on this weekend.

And the week was very draining. The channeling. The communications

with other peoples relatives. And the Angel channeling. I mean I

literally am seeing spirit lights all the time now. Pin pricks of

light all over when I channel Angels. Like I am swimming in fire

flies. Is that me, or a brain tumor.

I am going to go move to the couch and see if that helps.

**************************************************

7:42

I sat in the living room in the dark in a more comfortable position

and tried again. I felt Erik on my ear as if he was holding it. The

feeling of pressure was intense. And I heard Robert and I's teacher

speak in my mind. I wrote what he said. He said,

" Write. Jason you need to be aware that there are many levels of

Trance. Some suited to others more than others... Some mediums write

best in unconscious trance where their energy is used by others. Other

mediums work best in dictation of words, but like you know well, the

physical manifestations take time and dedication on all between a huge

range of dis-incarnate energies. Fear not for we are all here with

you.

*********************************************************

7;48

Ok. I've got a bit of time left. I am going to just sit here now and

type whatever comes to mind.

Andy I don't even feel you any more what's up with that?

--I am here. I am just not on your energy right now.

Ok. Now what.

---just type

k i I see Andy in a grey sweat shirt and a red bal cap holding a can

of coke in his right hand and his other hand is out in-front of it and

he is making an odd gesture. palm up in front of the can like he's

asking for a coke or showing me a coke.

Now he's drinking it.

I see him in a kitchen with a counter with a center island. he hops

up on the counter and suddenly looks like a kid. younger an staring at

the upper cabinets.

black pants, black and white shoes. Baggy sweater.

He hops down and runs around th e counter and hugs a tall thin woman

in slacks. Holding a teddy bear. now he is smaller like a toddler.

holding her hand.

k mom mom a long hair black and white looking dog. one of those

herder type of dogs.

a guy in a Hawaiian shirt. white pants dark hair.

*******************************************************************

8pm.

Jason here. Well, that didn't go as well. Maybe cause i have another

sinus infection and I am congested and uncomfortable with a splitting

head ache. Or something else. I mean I see him just fine in my minds

eye, and hear him fine. It's just the whole 'various degrees of

letting go seems to be illuding me. Oh well. From what I've read this

sort of thing take a long while to develop. Had better luck in the

past though.

***********************************************************************

Feb. 26, 2011

AM in really

good spirits. Am looking forward to family time this weekend. My once

weekly practice sessions are not something I am willing to give up.

Every single thing I've ever read says that dedication and practice is

the most important aspect one could have to facilitate communication.

So even if I have to give up other things. I promised my guides I

would be more regular with appointments and so I will. :)

Last nights trance writing practice didn't go as well as the two

previous sessions. Everyone was there, but I think my expectations

were simply out of line with what was possible given my state of being

at the time, my emotions, and my energy and with what they wanted. Not

sure Stuff did happen, just not what I wanted. I suppose that in

itself is a lesson. I think part of the problem is and was that I am

not really sure quite what I want. I'd like to increase channeling

reliability, clarity, and connection via writing, but I am not sure

how to do that right now. I guess part of me felt that if I was in

some deep altered state of being that might be better facilitated. Now

I am not so sure. hh.mmm. I'll have to think more on it.

Oh, and after last nights session; I did go down stairs to my dark

room to see if I could sit in the absolute dark to facilitate any

physical manifestations or light. I asked my guides and angels if they

could show me any lights or sounds. I heard a few bangs but nothing

conclusive. I did see lights and shadow. Just not how I expected or

wanted.

I think another problem with last night was that I didn't spend much

time on any of it. Meaning I felt perhaps I should have sat longer.

Feb. 19, 2011

7pm

I've connected to Spirit in my usual way and am now sitting in the dark in front of my text file. The Reiki music is on. And the computer screen is dark and all the lights are off. I am going to try to go deeper and deeper. I can feel Adny now . His energy on my head and cernter of my face going down to my nose and upper lip. I can see in my minds eyes a light on my right side. I am typing with my eyes closed. I am going to go through my chakra energy visualizations and the see what happens.

A long pause and I feel like I am drifting off to sleep. Unaware of what's going on around me.

****************

[Andy delivers a long private message to his mother and then my Spirit guides bring me back around to full awareness]

**************

7:28

Wow. Jason here again. I am so light headed. I feel kinda dizzy. That was just wild. I did my regular connection techniques like I always do. I sat in the dark, monitor off and listened to the music. I saw a light in the right corner of my eye. It was moving about. It came closer. I asked Lydia to help me. To help me let go. I felt Andy's energy on my head and the air infront of me seemed to get tight. I tried to take deep breaths but it felt like I was wrapped up in tight blankets. I could feel hands on my head and shoulders. I could feel this marching buzzing tingle move from my shoulders, down my arms, to my fingers. They got tight and felt like they wanted to twitch. I tried to let go. I got really sleepy and felt like I was dreaming. It looked like Andy was sitting where I am sitting. But it was like I was looking at him sitting where I am sitting. But it was as if I was standing at his shoulder. I could see him in a leather jacket and jeans and a hat. His scruffy face but when He looked at you it was like I was looking at his mom. I saw the cat jump up and put it's face in mine. But it was like I was looking at it. It's face sniffing at me. And I just started crying. Tears running down my face. I can't stop crying. My heart racing.

I started having a Vision. In it his mom was a teenager. Long hair in a checkered dress. So long. black boots. long braids. She was chasing a little boy. And another little boy was chasing her. She was running down a hill from a cabin. With smoke coming out of it. I think the boys were Erik and Andy. I was there too watching.

Then I woke up.

I have this pit in my stomach like I dunno... I've got to go get some water. I'll try again in a few min. I don't know what to think. I feel weird.

*******************

7:43pm

I got some water. That was so intense. I can't believe it. It was like I could feel everything he felt. Not like I expected. I don't know I guess I thought I wouldn't know or have any idea what he felt. I mean. I've felt crazy intense things from Erik and past lives before. But never expected to from anyone else. I.. It feels I feel so sad and happy.

Like that feeling you get when you've cried all you can cry and you just have to go on and make the best of it. My throat feels so tight. I feel like I don't fit in my body any more.

I want to try again. But maybe some visualizations. or perhaps I'll just sit back again and try to feel the energy while I work on my minds eye images..

OK

I'll just type what I see. I see a man's silhouette. In the background of a dark void of my minds eye. He comes closer. Erik is dressed up as a guy in a top hat and goofy makeup on. He ws testing me to see that I wasn't scarred. I told him I don't enjoy being teased. He laughs and waves his arms to follow him. Now he is skipping. He is such a tard. Now he is flipping me off. Sigh... Jillian is laughing and swinging with Andy. In an old porch swing. Andy waves. Chris is there with Emily as well. They are all in a hill side. Tall grass. A camp fire in front of them. They are all talking and laughing. The sky is shot with yellow and orange and purple. Long white clouds and the sunlight is streaking across in golden arcs . I can hear the wind blow.

I see a little old man. with wrinkles on his forehead. white hair over his ears. He is bent over. He is holding the hand of a short little old lady in a dark dress. simple. blue with little white looking flowers on it. high waist. dark gray long bunned up hair. glasses. the old man is gesturing come come come. waving me over. smiling. He is back lit by light. I get the feeling he is highly evolved. the light behind him is bright white and I can't see in it . He smiles and the two hobble off into the light. and vanish.

I see a cat wind around and around Andy's legs. Except it's weird looking like it can't walk. Just the head and tail move. legs are just there, still and laying down. Very odd looking. He keeps saying my baby my baby. and kisses it.

the cat kinda glows like a spirit. Twitching like it's dreaming.

Andy is crawling up on a bunk bed now. cartoon sheets. . There is another boy in the lower bunk.

a lady in a floppy hat

kkkkkkkkksad at ;lk work sdwe

*********************************

**Jason here again. That was a little better. No emotion attached other than happy people. A couple of times I felt Andy's energy on my fingers again, but I had a hard time relaxing. The music kept changing. I think I have to work on keeping the music steady so it doesn't distract me. I wonder if I should try this with just a pencil and paper next time.

Well, Lydia says it's a good time to stop and try again next time. She says I did a better job of setting my intent. But that I got too distracted by the emotion. We will have to work on distractions. She is saying now that this is a long process. That development takes time. And it's a learning process for both sides to develop energy merges and affinities and they will call in people to help as time goes by.

Feb. 11, 2011

I have begun formal sitting lessons and practice with Andy, Lydia and Erik. I thought I would be able to just lay it all out here publically. But so much of this lesson was of a personal nature, and I feel should remain private.

6:30pm

Jason/Andy/Lydia channeling practice class #1

-Came home from work tonight to the dishwasher flooding the kitchen floor with water. Fortunatly there is no structure under the kitchen add-on and thus no walls to ruin. Am testing to see if it is broken or if the cycle just quirky.

-Ate dinner and changed. Am feeling to anxious and tired. But am ok.

-Put on music and Andy's image on the computer monitor.

-Lights out

-Begin Reiki and connection techniques.

I sent Reiki to Iola and Andy and set the verbal and thought intent to bring andy forward for the purpose of communication and enableing mental visuals for guideance and communiation.

I also did my grounding and centering and chakra clearing and did my light work. I asked to connect to my guides and teachers for the purpose of communication. I asked to connect to my angels and loved ones in Spirit . I then visualised roots going down into the ground and drawing up energy. I then imagined it hitting each of my chakas and spining them open. When I get to the top I ask for help using heavens light. I imagine clouds parting and light comeing down and hitting my chakras. And the light pours down. I imagine white and yellow light fill me. I then imagine myself in a clear bubble of light. I ask for help centering and protecting me. I then sit back and listen to the music.

I see fuzzy static in the air, and what appears to be shadow moving aroudn the room. It's almost as if my eyes do not want to focus. I see little whisps of light. I have goose bumps all over. I can and have felt Andys energy on my nose and forehead ever since I left work. It streaches from the top of my scalp down to my nose to my upper lip.

Lydia asks me to turn off my monitor and type in the dark. She asked me to stare straight ahead an let my vision go out of focus. . I feel I see shadow and mist move about me. I told Andy to come forward, and that I love him.

I also ask Erik to come forward and help me . I can't feel Erik. I feel he is busy but gives his mental encouragement. I can feel my guides hands on my crown of my scalp. I am going to try and relax more now.

Lydia is telling them to spend a few min. focusing on periferal visual sensations.

And skin sensations.

I can see andy trying to make light orbs, but he says he is having hared time focusing . Ive asked my guides and angels to help him. He is new to this too. I feel the need to let my focus go further. I will try to

( at this point I fell into a light trance and Andy used my fingers to type a halting personal message )

Jason here**. I just attempted to let andy have contol of my hands and awareness to very odd effect. It felt like I sat there for a few min. I don't think Iv'e ever had an experience quite like that before. It was totally weird. I sat there and let my vision go and cosed my eyes and just listened to the music. I felt like I wanted to drift off to sleep and I felt this marching skin tightening on my arms and hands down to my fingers. Then I felt my finger muscles get tight. Like I had no control and they just sat there and twitched. I could feel Andy trying to concentrate and move them. I was mildly aware that he typed and was trying to get Erik to help, but I couldn't feel Erik around. I think he wants Andy to work on this . I feel Andy very strongly on my scalp and forehead and nose now.

I'll type what he says. (Andy dictates a personal message to me- I type as he talks)

*****Ok, ------- Jason here. I am going to now just try to sit here and see what else happens. I am going to try to see if Andy can give me any mental images. I have no clue if they belong to you and yours or if they are just images and him trying to form whatever comes to his mind. Or if he is trying to manipulate mine. Or if it's all symbolic.

He is showing me a tree in the backyard. a sandbox. he is wearing a white jearsy with numbering on it. dark lettering. a ball cap scruff. he is sitting on the bench of the sand box. I see an oarnge or tan looking short hair cat walking on the wood. He is just watching it. I am not sure that its his cat or not. I see a red tricycle. streamers on the handle bars. a green shamrock. a lepercon hat. the face of a balding old man. a finger on the nose for knowing something. an angel. holding its finger in shhhh. against it's moth a giant bowl of cerial him holding a spoon to his jersy and saying mine. a toy robot. a tall skinny lady with glasses . the glasses have wings on them. the hair is short and curled. she is cooking for Andy.

****Andy just tryed to make another go at typing , I had the same bizare sensations. of wanting to sleep and my hands coming under some othe weird control. strange. This is differenct than just dictating mental communication. I know it sounds like bull, but Lydia says I need to learn to give over more control so the messages come more focused.

I am going to stop for now and I have a splitting headache now. And my hands are very uncomfortable. And I feel dizzy.

(Andy dictates another personal message to me)

It's now 7:30.. I am going to try and see if I can scrounge up more food and see what's up with that stupid diswasher.

I am going to see if I can get more from the two guys tomorrow at some point. Not this type of channeling just mental talk.

*Note I run and eat and feel better right away.

Feb. 02, 2011

Last night I made the leap. Preveiously I had set the intention to learn trance writing and spirit communication there of. Always before I was afraid. Mostly filled with doubt and fear in what others would think of me. I have never had doubt in Spirit Manifesting to me. I have far too much personal proof for that. But basically I feared people saying, "You suck". But none the less. Erik brought me his buddy Andy to me to help me practice. Along with that. In combination with the CE blog, my guides, and my CE friends/family I made the next step. I formally thanked and accepted Erik and Andy's help. I am not sure exactly where this will go. I confess I am a little aprehensive. In only that I am starting a great journey and I want to arrive safe. I don't want to mess it up.

Jan. 19., 2011

In addition to reading assignments from my guide Lydia and learning Reiki over the next several months; This weekend I also formally set the intent to learn trance writing for the purpose of guidance and communication for the greater good in whatever way Spirit guides. In line with that to develop any supporting physical manifestations that might be able to co-exist with deep trance writing. Manifestations such as light and sound phenomena and Spirit photography. Lydia said I have a ton of work ahead of me. And that it will take a lot of dedication and commitment on a regular basis to develop properly. But she said, she had been waiting for me to make the decision and get in the proper emotional spot to tell her. She said the deep trance will not happen until I finish my Reiki lessons and the 3rd attunement. She told me that "they" will set the pace and that I wasn't to jump ahead when I get bored. She said it will be on Spirits time-line not mine. But now my awareness and intention was in the right spot.

This morning in vision I sat with my guides as they did something to me using their energies. It was really bizarre to my mind's eye. In the vision I sat at a table in the void. And each of my guides glowed with a fuzzy yellow light. Lydia grabbed my hands and they became balls of light. She traced something on my hands and thumbs. The light of her hands then enveloped mine in a glowing orb that looked like mittens. Then the light became so bright I couldn't see where my hands and her hands began or ended. She then moved closed and her light merged into me. I turned to each of my guides and the process repeated. Then Erik jumped in and the same happened with him. Upon each merge I could feel them on the left side of my body. Then they passed out of me and I returned to looking Lydia in the eyes. She then ran her hands through my higher self's hair. And as she did, her fingers merged into my head. And did something. I am not sure what. Then she pulled back. Still holding my hands and light from above blasted down into me. And as it hit each chakra it blasted out in an explosion in a chain reaction. Wave after wave arching out into the universe. Was it symbolic or a representation of something real, or something that I did myself. A mental switch if you will of my intention to step up my mediumship. I am not sure. Time will tell.