January 2012

January 30, 2012

Visualization Tech Tip.

Time: Daily, Your choice

Duration: 10 min or less, for 2-3 three months

Practice trying to visualize Erik M. and one departed loved on. Picture them in your head the best you can. It doesn't matter how they look the point is to simply picture them. Get rid of expectations on how they should look or how you want them to look. Do not interpret anything that comes to mind. Mix it up. View Erik then view the loved one. See if you can picture them together.

As a guide, communicating with Erik for the intent of personal development is the same as speaking to any of your guides. All will help.

Pay attention to how they look. Look at the details. Don't worry if you can't hold on to them, or if they fade or morph, or turn into objects, other people or things. Just look. If the scene changes. Stop, refocus, and re-picture them. Don't assign value to the visuals. Notice how the image and clarity changes or evolves over time. Just be an observer.

As time passes you may feel the desire to speak to the images. Rather than speak, Imagine yourself 'thinking" at the images as if they were standing in the room with you. You may find this hard to accept, but in this exercise we are not judging, evaluating or interpreting. We are simply visualizing with the intent to move to interacting with that image.

January 27, 2012

Today is a birthday of a sort, of a dear friend of mine who is dis-incarnate. An anniversery of his return home. His name is Eric (with a C-not Elisa's son with a K). Erik M. First brought him to me via vision. It was a rough start at first. Aside from his personal emotional issues that drove him to take his life, and the life experiences he planned with his birth family and friends, he also planned with his mother and I to help us work on Spiritual issues in our own lives as well as contribute to a larger whole. . He taught me a lot in the course of my development, Specifically my fears about Spirituality, Spirits, and interpersonal emotions with both dis-incarnates as well as those in the flesh.

I remember I once told Elisa that I was scared of Eric. And she replied with, "Well hon, you have to do whatever you feel is right to protect yourself". And the other day, Eric was like, "We all have roles to play even if you don't know it. We whisper your lines to you!". He says right now, "If you were not turned away into thinking that no one could help you, and that you couldn't ask anyone for help, you would have never done the inner work to face your fears and never come to a resolution about your feelings."

Wild huh? Little ghost whispers.. sigglesnortlaugh!

From what I perceive on my end, to me Eric is:

*Fiercely loyal

*affectionate

*blunt and to the point

*sees no need to beat around the bush when he will just tell me to my face how it is, but he always follows it with affection

*is gently bossy

*is a planner

*logical and deep

*has an unabashed perverted sense of humor

*patience

*dry dead pan wry humor as well, but gets giggly

*sort of got this quiet unobtrusive reserve to him, not one to drawn attention or jump in line

*he shows me blond hair, but i see him with dark. It flip-flops.

*his nose crinkles when he laughs

*he hates his hair touched and when i do it changes shape and color

Each life is a gift. Each lifetime is another mantra of the soul. Each person we engage in life a reason to live. I Believe in each of us, I believe we can come to terms with ourselves and honor each other. I think even in life's darkest moments we can regain our power. Why?

Because we are gifts to each other. Each others experience can become our own. Thus enriching our own journey. We can support each other instead of tearing down. We can see that our neighbors path has or will be ours. I feel I have been given so much to live for. So many have touched my life. I know I am not alone. When I think of Eric's life. I think of his gifts. I think of what he still gives and I know he and so many more hold us up and support us with their continuance. I think this makes life worth living. I am grateful for him and his life. Always.

Happy T-day Eric! (transition day)

January 27, 2012

Heart lost,

assailed scents,

broken boughs,

wondered memory,

lingers on tooth tipped tongue,

shaken dreams scatter in lingered light,

fades with morning.

Hope filled chest,

shallow breath,

i remain.

What holds

me to I

was found

in picked through branches

gathered memories,

tasted rich without bitter

a reflected dream on tear drop

shining light.

Peace filled knowing,

gentle inhale

I remain.

January 26, 2012

Loved life, dance's

Visions of love

Carried home

Endless dancing

slow soul waltz

Deeply thrust trust

Tango dipped hearts

spin down long

trotting promenades

Nothing compares

heart bursting aches

Picturing true

mind to mine

All made to feel

freedom dances

Softly cocooned

delicious joy

January 25, 2012

Ugh. I have a sinus infection. The rest of the month may be spotty for posts here. I have a lot of work at my regular job to do. On another note,

Someone asked me how a Spirit decides whom they have contact with.

I find that conscious contact tends to follow this pattern, or at least that I am aware of:

#1, those who they guide or watch over

#2, Those in conscious communication

#3, Those who they love

#4, Those who they have connection to

#5, Those in association (group or some type of affiliation) with

January 24, 2012

Tech talk: Mediumistic filters:

Sometimes you'll hear people say, "All mediums have a filter. Some say there are those who are more "open" than others. It greatly depends on what type of mediumship is being engaged in, and whom is participating. There are several things going on from my experience and research.

1) How the medium 'picks up on' the spirit. Every human physical body is unique. Each body had unique energy bodies or components. Additionally there are many many physical to energy techniques to use. All have varying result.

2) How the mediums brain, and physicality interprets the thought projection from the spirit. Additionally there are energy "organs". ie. chakras, and while everyone has the capacity for communication, everyone is "wired" slightly different, as well as inherent and past life experience.

3) How the medium see's and interprets astrally as well as through their clair's.

4) How the medium filters all this through their own beliefs, perceptions, and body, understanding, especially when it comes to symbolism

5) The beliefs and perceptions of the spirit automatically generate it's reality

6) This along with emotion generates an energetic state of being that draws it's environment around it, as well as others like it

7) Within these structures, depending on experience and knowledge, and emotional allowance, the spirit can also co-create or overlay additional or alternate realities, that can come through to it and anyone who can perceive it.

8) All of the above as it relates to the sitter has an effect as well.

9) The intent of the inquiry. Some topics and some people are spoon fed because it would unduly influence your free will, or emotional understanding/experience.

10) Mediumship is not the same as other psychic influence such as precognition or past life view, or tuning into akashic records. If you want advice or knowledge of what might be, you will be working with snapshots of probabilities and likely to occurs. You will want to see a specialist in that, as opposed to someone who simply communes with the other side.

January 24, 2012

A fervent prayer whispered,

A rose petal caught

A clutch of thorns held

A desire felled.

Winters rot grown away

New springs growth

Blooms unfolded color

A wish cultivated

Prayers and wishes

Grow like weeds

Tended gardens

Harvest seeds.

January 23, 2012

To get to where you wish to go, you must imagine the location as you yourself would be there. Then you bring yourself to that spot. So too is locomotion in Spirit. You either imagine yourself moving to the location based upon previous data, or you see yourself there based on what you know. Time is relative to what you know about, and what you've experienced and what you can observe about yourself.

That being said. For those incarnates who wish to explore other realities and locations via clairvoyance, dream work, or astral travel; it is often helpful to keep such imaginative visualizations in mind when trying to think of getting from here to there. So, not only you think therefore you are, but you think therefor you go---as well!

January 23, 2012

The long day done,

her song sung,

gone quiet into

sleepy starlight.

My time passed

in companioned repose

eagerly awaiting

inspired action.

Although now

as I turn

to visions of morning duty,

I lay in the comfort

of simple comrodery.

Thoughts of love,

friendship and

belonging

hold me in slumber

and I let what may be,

come with dawn.

January 17, 2012

Nov-Dec: 2011 (back track entry)

The great emotional roller coasters of life.

Whether you prefer old rickety wooden rides, or speeding bullets, or tilt-a-whirls, life can be a roller coaster. No doubt about it, it's all about the ride you get on. Some people don't like riding at all.... and some puke... and some scream with delight! I think the rush is all about the emotional experience. Alone or with others the ups and downs are can be the ride of a life time. But your ride doesn't always have to be fast and wild. Some of the best rides are on a slow Ferris wheel, or even on cable buckets that take in the entire park.

I've written about emotions and spiritual matters before. Quite a bit actually.

(See my articles and Q & A's)

None the less, I go through life's ups and downs just like everyone else. Around this most recent Thanksgiving I found myself having had a very odd series of personal emotional experiences. At the beginning of fall, I had the original intent to take a break from mediumship and spiritual community interaction for a couple of months. At the time I had felt somewhat burned out, or drained from what I felt was a mad dash or sprint through personal spiritual development over the past couple of years. At the time, I was feeling that it culminated in exhaustion at the very idea of being around anyone emotional. I know this sounds somewhat strange.

My personal history was that of an intensely emotional and spiritual child who turned into a cold hard atheist, in which I avoided any and all emotional entanglements for a good decade. Then to have a spiritual awakening and mad dash to return to the self, I found it quite difficult to manage it all. A gross generalization, but for the sake of explaining my seclusion the past couple of months, it will do.

So there was this emotional aspect of my being that I had been working on. As well, I was doing an intensive evaluation of what I wanted to do with all these Spiritual experiences. I've had a very broad range of them. A sampling if you will. And I was trying to see how each one tasted to see if I wanted more.... so to speak. This being my spiritual experiences.

Aside from this and because of this. I wanted to take a break from working with others and channeling. I felt I just needed to step away, recenter, reground myself and have some good ol' fashioned "me-time". Well, as I was soon to find out the 'gang' thought it was a perfect opportunity to work on my emotions.

So I worked on emotional and spiritual exploration through balance while trying not to go insane from mental self abuse. I am kidding, sort of.

The 'spiritual vacation' started out great. Really mundane. I played video games on my new computer, read, hung out at home. I tend to have a lot of time off during the holidays, so I was just relaxing. After about a week of this I started to get ill. I had a cold, a couple of sinus infections and the most horrific allergies. All along my chronic pain that I typically experience. And when I don't feel well physically, My emotions go into a nose dive.

So then I started to have these really bizarre mood swings and emotions and thoughts. It almost felt like they were outside of me, or like I had two heads, not me. And they were really dark, depressing and well, just wrong. At first, for a while, I just felt this uncontrollable urge to ride out the emotions. I was sort of fascinated with their destructiveness. I know to anyone who is not acutely aware of the spiritual gift of empathy is going to have a hard time relating to what I am talking about, but it was almost as though I was feeling another person. I would see, hear, and feel this pain. Words, pictures and emotions. It felt like "I", but my awareness knew it wasn't me at all. Imagine a sound track, "I hate myself, I want to die" followed by visuals and emotions. It was like that. I wasn't scared as for some reason I didn't identify with it and I knew I would be fine, but I gotta tell you it was one of the strangest things I've ever experienced. And I do think it was metaphysical and spiritually related and not me going nuts. My life is very successful and I am very happy and content. This was well, weird.

So I worked with this for a while and Erik, my guides, and Angels all worked with me at examining these emotions and looking very closely at them and compared them to me, my perceptions, and beliefs. I had internalized all this and looked at it, but didn't really take the time to process it all quite yet. But as time passed; part of me came to the conclusion several scenarios. 1) This was me picking up spiritually on the emotions of those, I've worked with who died in pain. It was an energetic empathic link brought about so that I could learn to understand and sympathize through compassion what they felt and thought. 2) It also help reconnect me to my own goals of working with emotions and fear so that I could learn to balance them and transform them into love. In the end I am glad that it happened because 99% of the people I work with or have worked with Spiritually are either dealing with emotional deaths or spiritual fear. only maybe 1% is general academic inquiry. So I do think I needed further insight into those emotions. How this was achieved? I feel that my guides and my higher self either tapped into those I interact with to channel their previous emotions into me, or they helped connect me to my own past fears and amplified them. Maybe both. So all this happened while at the same time, I fell down the stairs and got a concussion.

It was hard to deal with, because Eric, Erik and Drew kept saying, that's how I felt, that's how i felt. I had a lot of tears as well as resolution of my own past. It really hit home just how connected everyone's mind, and energy are. I kept telling them, how much I would have given everything to help them and how I wanted to do right by them. And they said, you can help by doing right by yourself.

Love yourself and you'll love each other. You'll do right by each other if you do right by yourself.

All this fear... For those who have read my site or know me. You will know that one of my top goals for this life is to learn to balance emotional experience. Especially spiritual fear. There are others, such as self love issues and what not, but those are the biggies. I'd be selling myself short if I didn't tell you that dealing with one's own inner state is just as profound and serious as any paranormal or spiritual manifestation.

What I mean by that is I think or suspect I like many people are a big fan of the symbolism of the phoenix. That being we let ourselves go up in flame so that we may create ourselves new from the ashes of our personal fire. I also think a lot of this fire happens outside of our conscious focus. I think what a lot of people forget is that we are more than a singular conscious focus, in a moment by moment time frame. I believe we live deep varied and vast plural existences on many levels. So in many instances we allow ourselves a certain amount of self destruction because it furthers the illusion of separations within a dualistic experience. How can I really understand despair and fear unless I totally surrender to it. I can't do that unless I ignore, forget, and turn from what is love and light. Some times this is just our ego, but other times I truly feel it's planned. Very often we dive head first into this self created resistance and forget to look back up at the bigger picture of who we are. It's like the rock in the stream of water.

We are like the rock. We are manifested on the physical plane. We can be the rock or we can view the rock. Or we can just exist among other rocks. But as turbulent waters rush and swirl around us, we can stay grounded to the earth and let the waters of life rush around and flow over us safely down stream. Or we can give into resistance and be washed away ourselves. If we do wash away are we washed away all at once? or do we feed what is down stream? Or do we let the waters of life carve us into new shapes? It all depends on how you see yourself.

I learned that there is no way to alleviate the pain you feel from your fear unless you do the hard work to actualize a change in your belief, or to dis-identify with another's belief.

You may think, OMGosh... That is crazy! This is just insane.... It's silly and a waste of time, Or you may say, This is too hard, it hurts to much or you may refocus on the fear instead of looking at the nature of your belief.

Oh yes, It is hard work. In fact such deep introspection is one of the prime purposes among others that people incarnate for. Life is not about winning an award, becoming famous, or leaving your mark in some physical way. Those can be effects of your work, but most often your work is all about understanding who you are. When you share who you are, then you create or manifest physical effects. Good and bad. It depends on your beliefs and emotions.

This perception of emotions is ever evolving. It is always shifting in awareness, in who you are. It is not a one time event. Nor is it a one life time event, it is a step by step progression in how one feels, sees, understands one's self within and without all that is. And is best achieved over and over again with new perspective. So to embrace all that you are within a life time should not be feared as each inward look you take or make allows you to shift into being more of who you always have been.

We often resist this process as the feelings we go through hurt. We don't really desire to look the basic beliefs we carry that engendered these feelings. This is spiritual resistance.

Resistance is a harsh mistress. She nags, criticizes, judges, and worries all night, only to ignore you during the day. Really she's a lie. She is you, lying to yourself. It's about denying who you really are. She's the actress playing the role opposite of yourself. You can tune her out, but you'll hear this dull drone in the back ground that over time will just wear you down until your sick. Why don't you close the curtains, turn out the lights and end the show. No one said you have to stay around for the curtain call just because you went through all that pain of watching the show. Go run outside. Let go and raise your arms in freedom and shout to the world that this painful experience is not who you are. Go outside and fall in love with yourself, go be who you want to be. Let resistance be a story, not a life.

All these feelings are thoughts are the inner signals that stem from our spiritual bodies, our consciousness. They all manifest from our beliefs. We feel these inner manifestations as exterior phenomena and events as well as those from other people. Very often when we feel such things from other people we do not stop and examine ourselves in relation to it. We tend to accept these other emotions as our own labels, when in fact they are not, and have nothing to do with us. If we can but pause for a moment and ask ourselves if these feelings are us or not, we then acknowledge our free will, our choice to manifest our own lives as opposed to living others lives.

This introspection is the only real escape. Running away, diversion, subterfuge and sabotage will never work. To realize that the need to escape is but a self fulfilling prison in that there is no where to go other than through that which you create. The desire for release can never be fulfilled outside of the acceptance of self that you allow yourself to express.

What some would term peace is more about balance within experience.

You may find yourself unable to do anything but pray for help or unable to do anything. I have found that it is better to pray for the awareness to see opportunity to be oneself as opposed to self limiting labels of desire, belief, or unexplored feelings. Life's turmoil often comes from the impatience of not elevating mental focus to steady inner gaze long enough to choose if it is who you are. When effort and time is taken to really look at a thought, balance, suspension of belief occurs and full understanding through feeling is achieved. Then direction can be had, but it is not a movement into release or peace, but an absorption or dis-solvement through being who you are.

Your release will come from looking within at what the belief feels like. Acknowledge who you are in this reflection. Understand what you can and then replace what isn't you with the light of your soul. This will allow you to let go and grow. The expansion you feel is you reconnecting with all that is. All that you are and can be. It is a shift.

January 16, 2012

Who hoo.. day off work! Gives me a chance to do a little writing. That's what I am up to. If you have not gotten a chance to yet, Check out Linda's new article on Fear. http://www.dragonofdrama.com/

January 13, 2012

This morning i asked Niki's son Eric if he had taken a look at my childhood. He said, yeah he had gotten a download, but that he was waiting for me to have my life review so that i could show him, what i wanted and got out of it. Apparently this is common because two minds can merge and be joined energetically to co-experience. This was all the emotions, thoughts, impression, and views are shared. ie...him and everyone will be waiting to share with us our lives in a special way.

I lay down at night

On this bed of years

Embraced by tears

Trying to balance

What seems like fears

Hoping to not go insane

From self inflicted pain

In my darkest hours

I think of you

And i see myself

Held dear.

And so no matter the thought

At hapless vision

No matter the dark thought

I can still feel your love.

And i know

I know

I'll still be there

For you. And so i know

That i can go on

Together we all march on

We just have to let ourselves

Hold on to love.

January 12, 2012

I was standing at the train station yesterday just contemplating life, and I was visited by the voice of Spirit to talk a little about the nature of consciousness.

Co-created experience as a group is a type of collective consciousness. There are many types of consciousness. Each engages in many types of participatory experiences. This after a fashion is a life purpose. Even groups have purpose. Co-created ones. Imagined, felt, and understood.

Even when you as individualized entities know that you are a part of a greater action, you still feel from the point of view, of the singular self. You feel the "I" of your being. The I, the you, the I do this for you, What you do for me.

In this incarnation you recognize that you participate in many differing types of group actions. Some of these have easily seen purposes, others are fare more ambiguous and intangible, but the emotional experiences such untied experiences provide have great value.

You may accept that you exist in a multidimensional capacity. That there are many forms and functions that you can interact with in Spirit. So too during incarnation. The participation in groups, societies, cultures, and various units all contribute to an energetic form that has a type of consciousness.

Many people do not see this or believe it, so they have a hard time feeling themselves in others as a part of the world around them. They find life full of horror, and pain and they are loathe to take part of it.

We tell you, that when the consciousness you contribute to becomes shared enough that you can feel your connections with each other, the collective experience will not be as painful.

When you focus on what is separate from you, on the differences, you cease to see yourself in others with conscious awareness. This inhibits compassionate love. Your own expansion is limited which in turn is then reflected in the group experience and the beliefs everyone participates in.

For many to co-create such shared experience is an overarching purpose of incarnation.

There are many other such life purposes, even very fine tuned group purposes. There are many ways in which what you view as singular can be felt on a collective, a whole plane. Such as wars, peace movements, and discoveries, etc. How you view such experience and where your focus rests- shifts, moves, and is felt not only as you in your incarnation, but as the group consciousness you participate in. Your collectives and you as the group and as the group feeling your individual experience and visa versa. This is why you live for others through others as yourself to your highest possible self.

This is a shift in awareness.

January 10, 2012

A lot of people think Spirit's must be the bee's knees. Know all, see

all, and must want something, or pass along some message. They are the

same as us. People need to stop cutting themselves short. They are

worth spiritual company. Do we as incarnates simply like to hang out

and be with our loved ones? Same with spirits.

So, you see a lot of the time, when we suspect a visitation or are tentatively made aware of a spiritual presence there should be no cause of worry on our part. Much of the time, they are just there to share our lives, give us energy, love and support.

I also recently have been asked about what are the types of vibrational blockages that we manifest that cause problems with Spiritual communication. For the most part it has to do with fear, doubt, worry, and self love issues. It's not quite so much that it creates a limitation for those in spirit, it's more that these type of emotions, and others are a personal energetic focusing tool. In a system of emotional duality these narrow the focus so that in an ideal situation we can beam our perspective down to very specific experienced situations so that we can understand who we are in such experiences. What a lot of people, myself included have trouble with is stepping back, looking up, and refocusing after these experiences. Instead of doing that, we tend to clamp down harder. It's this solidification of emotion that is so hard for Spirits to get through. These actions by us are a form of free will that is akin to slamming the door shut to other emotional and spiritual experiences.

Now that's not to say that Spirits can't break through it, but more than likely it our tight focus prevents us from being open to other experiences, or what we do experience becomes laced with fear and doubt. It's like you have head phones on and they are standing outside yelling at you trying to get your attention.

When this happens they are left with your subconscious, or dream states for communication. Which from their point of view is often easier. Especially for guides, who are experts at that form. Now if and when you do get stuck, and need help, it is often beneficial to ask for Angelic help, or other types of help. But as Erik and many others will say, we often don't really want help.

Let me explain. Incarnation is like going to summer Drama Camp. Your here to put on a play. You want to experience and live certain scenarios, emotions, and events to test out who you are in such situations. So many times, you are not going to truly be free of such blockages unless you are really ready to be. Aside from the decision on our part this takes lots of personal time and hard work. But once we decide, we just have to sincerely ask. Then we will be guided. Just don't cling to a narrow focus or expectation, then help may just be around the corner.

January 06, 2012

Just to let people know. I've stopped using Facebook for now. I have a lot going on right now and not enough time or interest to deal with posting content in multiple places. I still intend to keep up my site until I die and write a few books someday and participate in various communities. I just wasn't enjoying fb so much. Thanks for reading!

January 05, 2012

Sometimes we all grow weary.

Tired, sore, and in pain from broken hearts.

We think about loved ones in Spirit and

we wonder how we can ever go on and

ask why anyone would ever

choose to come back to this life.

That's when Spirit said,

It's not about the life,

It's not about that body.

No time, no place, no pace.

It's the anticipation of dreams

The release of held breath

The tight throats and squeezed chest

Slowly eyes closed

The smell of memory

Savored flavor

The feel of honey

The rush of money

What i feel

In the thrill

Shrill or pill or still

Its the moment

The hunger

The thrust

When you burst

That you can say

Here i am

This moment,

Life, Feel so now.

January 05, 2012

A harsh word will only remain as painful as the degree of feeling you assign to the belief you associate with the word in relation to yourself. To adjust the effect of the word has your life you need to examine the cause behind the feeling. Look at the belief you have assigned to it and what it means to you. You might just find that the feeling is misplaced and the triggers behind the word have nothing to do with you. They may not only have been given to you with promises of fact, but may be from a 3rd party that has no value to you other than to help show you that such an experience does not define you!

This sounds cold, convoluted and hard. But you perform these emotional feats everyday of your life. To consciously unravel the labels you give emotional experiences are among the greatest purposes you will ever experience. To remove limits, to uncover and discover all that you are and everything you can be is to do away with what others tell you and simply be who you are.

The capacity to counter what we encounter is only limited by our capacity for bravely expressing our imagination.

January 04, 2012

I think a lot of what drives people, what interests them, or what they think is important may not be so important as compared to how they see themselves within and without such an experience. Does a particular physical goal, event, or participation matter so much to an eternal soul with many lifetimes as opposed to how they feel? What is the mark of accomplishment? Who gets to say? My own inclination would be to try to understand how I feel within each context.

January 03, 2012

I find the pause between starlight and dawn is the quiet moment where who I am can be felt with a certain clarity. In that moment I have no doubt or fear that I am present. I think this space is when my spirit rejoins my flesh in certain absurdness. Where I no longer think or feel other than the knowingness that I am. I wonder if I can take this memory into every experience. I wonder if I can make every moment a knowing moment that I am and always will be. I think if we could all remember this more, that every moment could be a waking moment.