Where did Grandma go?

Q & A cont.

Q) Where did Grandma Go?

A)

A colleague of mine in the Spiritual exploration field who is a medium recently answered a question that I thought could use some further exploration. Especially since my own Spirit team has spoken on the CE website about it before. It's a fairly common question that is asked. One that tends to really push a lot of buttons with family of those who have passed away.

That question is: What if our loved one's on the other side wont talk to us?

When ever I hear this I wish I had the ability to stop time, make everyone pause and re-think this question. All too often the person (this sitter) is asking a medium or psychic they paid and they are on the clock so to speak. But the problem is that this question is really about perception, belief, perspective, intent, and life contracts on both sides of the veil... It's not something that can really be explored in one sitting with a single focused question.

Most people who ask are pretty deep in their emotions and don't really care, they only want reassurance. But such a question is really a fundamental question to get us to understand some of the complexity of the journey of our conscious experience. In many cases it is not about the other person at all. It's all about us!

If and when, during a channeling session you do not get an answer from someone you want to speak to, there can be a myriad of reasons why. Some it has to do with the medium, some has to do with you, and some has to do with the Spirit. It might be that your not asking the right question, or speaking to the right person.

And; Those are only part of the equation. There are many other possibilities. Some can be that the Spirit recognizes that your higher-self really wishes to focus on this life and not them. Some can be that the Spirit recognizes that silence will get you to learn how to develop your own spiritual skill set in which case it is intended for you yourself to contact them as opposed to through a medium.

Some more possibility are that you and the spirit in question had a pre-life contract for no contact so that you could work with the feelings this engendered. In some instances they simply belong to a soul association that is not in close alignment with your current perceptions of your reality. Your belief system or understanding may not engender good communication. In addition they may have created for themselves or take part in a restrictive reality for themselves. It's not that they don't love you, it's that their focus can not be helped but to temporarily be away from you.

Now I want to make something clear. This is but a sampling of possibilities. Spirits do hear, feel, see, and are aware of those who they share love with. Silence perceived from our end is not a good indication of their reality. I know this can generate a lot of anxiety in those left behind. But we can use this as an opportunity to expand how we see our own greater reality. If in that course we discover that our loved ones seem to be very busy, know that they still hear you. You can develop yourself or use other to help you approach them or meet them half way. You can also take the opportunity to explore the feelings this brings up in you. Why do you "need them" to commune with you? Do you see them and you as separated from each other? If so, why? And is it true? How so? Are you seeking validation for a certain belief or perception? Why do you seek to aliveate doubt? Would how you live your life change as a result of conscious contact?

Some times our emotions that wrap around "a desire" are so strong that nothing can manifest but more "wanting". It is only when we stop seeking and start accepting that nothing is lost and that we will always be one, that a connection is noticed. Then you might see that what was once missing was with you all the time.

That said, I'd also like to say that communication is about sharing energy. It is not always easy for a soul to manifest outside of a body, especially if they are not experienced in energy manifestations. It is important to set your intention, examine your desires, and understand your feelings. Then, practice patience, forbearance, and fortitude. If such manifestation are in line with your life plan, and can show you love in a way that further your spirituality, something will happen in time. It's important not to place expectations on them. They have the bigger picture, we don't'.

I'll give you an example. One of my biggest "pre-life plans" was to work on all aspects of fear. My grandmother told me that when she first crossed over that she had to "learn how to hide herself" from me. So that I would not focus on her, but rather focus on what I came to this life for. And in fact, during some of the roughest patches of life, I tried to reach out to her, only to be told she couldn't help me, that I needed to master my experiences on my own. And most recently when in tears thinking none of my blood relatives were around, and that I had been abandoned.... suddenly she came in loud and clear and said, how wrong I was to think that. That the reason they seemed to stay out of my life was due to my own focus, not theirs. And that if I wanted them, that I had to be the one to reach out to them, not the other way around. And that I couldn't live life the way I needed to if I used them as an emotional crutch.

I've also had readings for people who in life, thought they were all alone, only to witness as the crossed over that they were brought to tears in shock to see everyone they thought who had left them were the first ones waiting for them with open arms. Some times such experiences help you with lessons on abandonment, survivor’s guilt, and self love.

Last year I channeled some material along the same lines. I feel it's worth re-posting it.

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A message from Spirit--03/18/2011

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Voices of Spirit to the CE community:

"There are many who see their deceased loved ones as being silent. There are many possible reasons for this. But you must remember you are all on different journeys. You are all at different levels of perception, awareness, understanding and belief. So to, are those in Spirit. Every being is a force unto themselves. And you do yourself great dishonor when you assign blame to yourself for a perceived lack of communication. You must keep hope that your love will be true to yourself. That your loved ones evolution has engendered the ability to receive that love. For love never dies. Only our ability to experience love is influenced by the reality we create for ourselves. In the past, present and future, as well in other realities. Discovering this is a process of growth, learning, and evolution of personal awareness. For you and for your loved ones. It would be a mistake to assign blame or reasons for a perceived lack of communication. Rather it is it best to think about what you might learn about yourself from this experience and how you can share and support others in spite of your experience.

It is vital to never give up and to move your views and attitudes to how you can support those around you within love, without expectation. But do not fear this as giving up, giving in, or loosing your loved ones yet again. For even if they are stuck in a reality of their making, or their emotional state does not lend itself to communication, there is still hope. You can not possibly know all the reasons for a perceived lack of communication. Even if this experience is somehow part of your life plan for emotional experiences, you can still bring positive change. Prayer for those who need help in Spirit does work! It is always heard. All of those in higher spirit can hear your love projected. Your love will strengthen those who would go to your loved ones. They are flares of light in clouded darkness. They are calls of hope, calls of love. And upon hearing the calls your loved ones will eventually look up and reach out to Angels, guides, and loved ones of hope, to continue their journey of self discovery. Eventually upon doing so they will hear your love. Love never dies. It is only transformed. Have faith in yourself. Share it with others.

Never see silence as loss. Never see reasons of loss directed at you. Never fear, but see these experiences as an opportunity for personal growth.

Many times you experience great grief in your life at the loss of family and friends. During the process of dealing with this grief you often encounter evidence and experiences of the continuance of life. Many times as with this community, you experience fluctuation in communication levels, awareness, and a sense of closeness or nearness. And then as time passes you experience fluctuation in that spiritual presence. So that at times you feel the spirits of your loved ones seem to move on or become more and more absent from your presence.

The terms and phrases: lingering , moving on, holding them back, visitations; Can be confusing and incomplete when you try to give them meaning. They do not quite work like you think they do. This is because you are working with incomplete information. In part, information that will never be totally complete. But as humans you need to assign meaning to the world around you, to interpret your experiences.

View of dis-incarnate vs/ incarnate on these topics are really about a process. For the dis-incarnate spirit it is about remembering upon arrival in the so called afterlife. It is also dependent on variables of their personality and spiritual evolution. And it all changes based on their emotional state, spiritual callings, and interests.

Humans are often confused.They are trying to interpret objectively an experience that is always subjective to your point of view. To properly deal with these terms and experiences a change in thinking is necessary. A change in perspective. View loss as not something gone or taken from oneself, but to a view of a process of gain, growth, and discovery of every greater love. It is actually like raising a child or the process of growing up. Upon each new spiritual transformation, this process repeats itself to a certain extent. Being reborn; self discovery; remembering or finding out who you are; acting out; learning; careers; hobbies; family; then returning; new awareness.

All these terms really represent--Not loss, but a process of discovery to ever higher callings. This process is simply a continuation of what you go through in your time on earth. It is among other things, yet another process central to being human. These types of processes and growth do not change on the other side as you like to think. It is your perception that causes confusion.

Just like a forgetful teen going off on their own there are some Spirits who-new to the return to Spirit life; can seem to cause a misunderstanding in themselves and you by their perceived actions or lack there of. They have deep impulses toward self discovery so that in their current incomplete awareness they feel the need as you perceive to move on. But, what they discover is that rather moving on is a poor choice of terms to relate to their loved ones left behind. It is actually a process of realizing their higher self, NOT leaving you.

Another misinterpretation you make is that, one of the #1 things Spirit wants us to know, do, remember, is to live in the now and complete your life goals. Whatever you wanted to experience, learn. What you want to work on emotionally, spiritually, ect. So sometimes your loved ones in Spirit seem to leave or 'move on'. But, rather they are trying to turn you back to yourself. They are not gone but waiting for you to come back into proper thinking.

Higher Spirit never abandons but waits for healing and works in ways you can not currently perceive. They wait for changes in emotion, perception, and EXPECTATION, for the greater good. For even the highest of beings come to you or send their messages, messengers, love, and communication. Life is NEVER lost. And Love is ALWAYS transformed into higher and greater love. "

Emily says:

" The beauty of the universe is never kept from you. By seeking to grow every opportunity experience gives us you will reach higher more positive feelings and open more doors for communication. When you say, "you are gone from me, I can't feel you anymore, you must be free"; You often forget to free yourself. If you never give up and keep trying, you will come to hear us and see us through many aspects of creation. You will eventually find that you can create experiences that will help bring about such communication. Don't have expectations of Spirit, or communication. Do not grieve over your expectations or how you see things. But explore your expectations of how you wish to experience communication. Explore how you wish your life to be-- given your new circumstances. How might you change your reality for the better? If you don't know, or don't wish to be, live or go on; Explore those feelings. Look at them honestly. Only by staring at them in the face can you find out some of who your are and how you can help others through your experiences. Even if you can not see, now, then, or later. Its about the emotional process. Both now and for those in the here-after. In the end it will always be about moving into love."

Andy says:

"We are not asking you to let go and move on or saying that we can't be there for you. We are saying we want you to come back to yourself. This is about your journey. Not ours. We all love you so much and we want you to love again. We want you to remember that death is not a brick wall, it is an illusion. It can be confusing, it can seem like an huge hole. A grave is not a dead thing, it is a pile of clothes. We have new clothes now. We love you. We have lives here just like you have lives there. Just like kids who start off to college sometimes the kids and the parents each seem to get wrapped up in the new life, but as life happens we move back to those we love. When it matters we call home and love. We make visits. Just be patient and hang in there. We got school here, and you got your stuff there too. Just wait, pretty soon we'll all be home for the holidays, together again.

Chris says:

Same here. When I first came here I tried very hard to stay focused on those I left behind and my life here. It was wild. I couldn't believe all possibilities in the universe. So much to do, so much to see, I often didn't know what to do or where to start, so I just ran and ran and tried to get in as much as possible. It can really be overwhelming sometimes and exciting. At the same time I focused really hard on mom. But as my time here progressed I began to remember more and more of who I was and I realized new things about myself and what I wanted to to do and accomplish. But I felt kinda like a kid. I kinda knew what I wanted to do but I didn't know quite how to start. So I tried different things. And a lot of that came across as miscommunication and silence to mom. It was hard to balance what was best for me, and what her and her guides said was best for her. Also she has goals and plans and I can't interfere with them. I wanted to try to figure out ways to help her. That's part of what I want to do. Do those plans with her. Cause that's part of my goals too. When Erik came along he helped me with that. That's some of the work that Erik and others like him do. I just really want people to know that communicating with us is not a black and white thing. There is so much going on. Not only on your end, but our end too. Grief is a process for you, and remembering is a process for us too. Just make sure you don't view these in terms of a timeline. Cause it's different for everyone. Just don't give up.

Erik says:

You guys need to stop worrying about if your a freak show or not. You need to just feel! You need to get it out. If you need to work it out. You need to lean on each other for support. You need to be there for each other and hold each other as family as a community. This is what matters. Working out your experiences as emotional and spiritual lessons. If you need to cry, go for it. If you need to yell and swear, do it. Just let it out, but do not hold on to it. Do not obsess about it and punish yourself. Cause if you do that you are not helping yourself and others. These experience are painful. They will not go away because they are a part of you now. They are part of your experiences of this life. But they don't have to hold you hostage. You might feel that your weaker, stupid, broken from them. But here's the thing. Now what? Where do you go from here? Are you gonna give up? If you do you can, but how's that fair to those still living and yourself. If you wanna give up no one is going to stop you. But yourself. If you keep trying and try to keep living you might eventually find new things about about life. You might find more to love. You may not think so, but then you wont know unless you keep trying. So keep telling each other your stories. Keep giving each other love. Cause when you do your light shines brighter than the sun, and it's rays will heal and help others on their path too. Luv Erik