Dissatisfaction with my sexual experiences

Q)

I am having dissatisfaction with my sexual experiences with my spouse. I find the romance lacking and my desire for my spouse. I want to be wanted for who I am inside not outside. What's up with this?

A)

It really is about emotional experience. Not desire, lust, or age. Really it's about self love and self expression through selflessness. What I mean by that is you can't give what you don't feel inside you.

In many relationships one partner is a much younger spirit in experience. Your spouse is, just is. It's not good or bad, just is. It is to enable a learning experience. To be able to put anothers pleasure and desire before your own is to be in tune with your own pleasure centers. For some this path leads to darker emotional issues of control and power plays over their experience and ability to bring forth desire and pleasure in others. But there is a path more balanced, based in selfless love. Where one gains pleasure from giving it. So that the two become whole joined in giving. It's not an easy thing to achieve. The ego mind takes over and becomes blind. It fears the opening to vulnerability. What it often doesn't understand is that such openness is not a weakness it is to be totally in tune with who you are that giving such is sharing rather than surrendering.

This is part of the reason we all live as both men and woman of various sexual inclinations. To see ourselves in all the rages of this spectrum. Eventually we understand that desire with out equal giving of the self becomes a non fulfilling cycle. It is only when we let go of desire, that we see there is nothing we need but that which we can give, that which is already in us to express.