Duality of selfishness in emotion: A tool

If you are having trouble with emotion, with the expression of emotion, in any situation for any reason; You-are-normal. You are not broken. You are not a freak. You are not going to die. What you are, is a state of being. It is quite simply where you are. And this is OK. It is OK to BE.

But know, In this state of being, this is not WHO you are. And none of this HAS-To-be where you end up. The key is surrendering, and acceptance of what you feel without qualifiers. And then putting active intent into exploring where you would like to go; what you would like to do next.

Remember, that just because you go elsewhere, doesn't mean that you loose something. What you retain or gain, depends on how much work you wish to put into understanding where you were.

Too often humankind puts labels on experiences without looking at all the nuances of the emotional nature of reality. Many choose to sit, suffer in silence without the desire to self explore. This seems a cold way of saying they are a like the child who fell on a wet lump of a log and then refuses to get up and look at the rest of the forest.

The trouble with exploring emotions is that they (the emotions) are Selfish by their vary natures. But this is neither good nor bad; though, it feels like it. What is selfish is NOT feeling the troubling emotion, rather what is selfish-- is not looking at the emotion. It's your emotion. Do what you want with it. But by not exploring it, your lower self is being selfish to or in contrast to your higher self. You are choosing the easy way out. Or just sitting and looking at the lump of a wet log instead of picking yourself up and exploring the forest.

This is caused by all sorts of things, but predominately fear. People stuff emotional expression deep down inside them so that no one can hurt them again. Or, they think that by bottling it up and treasuring it they will be better off. They see themselves as being weak, less than, a bad example. This is a type of misguided selfishness.

For when you do not give into a different type of selfishness, the Selfishness of "I am more than," "I deserve more than I allow myself"; you selfishly withhold all that you are capable of and what you might have to offer to others. Be it support, service, or teaching moments.

By allowing yourself the simple selfishness of simple self expression, you are not only doing right by yourself, you are doing right by the greater good. For by allowing yourself this emotion, you are being in the now. This tames and prevents bottled up explosions and leads to a more balanced life. Which then allows you more capacity to look up from the wet log and look further into the forest for the next path. Perhaps the path home!

This is the duality of positive and negative selfishness. Allowing ourselves to be OK with it, is about the unconditional acceptance of who we are. Judge not applies not only to others, but ourselves. If we actively embrace that we are all at a different mark on our journeys we will see there is no right one place but that mile marker we set for ourselves.

One of the best things we can do in helping others explore this duality is not to be sorry, but simply reach out and say, "I love you, I hear you, I am here". Smile-hug-let go.

---Voices of Spirit