2023 -2018
ARTICLES AND INTERVIEWS
Just sent to the publisher and already have one review before it is even published. Watch for it in the coming months, it can take as long as two to three months to show up in Amazon or Barnes and Noble
Reviews of GET RICH Stock Whizonomics
(NOTE: This book may have a different title so watch here if it changes)
“I have enjoyed [it] As for the contents I really don’t have anything that I would say to change. You have done a really good job of discussing all sides of investing and the use of true life examples and especially researching and staying out of the emotional side of investing. The other thing was investing in what you know and see, Peter Lynch built an unbelievable return on investing in companies that he watched personally and would for example drive by and see Wal-Mart parking lot always full so thus he invested in Wal-Mart.”
Jeffery A. Miller, Senior Vice President, Heartland Investment Associates
MIND GAMES is now available in the USA via Amazon (has 4 1/2 STAR and 5 STAR reviews) as well as two other books I've written.:
Order your copy now, please don't forget to be kind and give a review.
OR
Barnes & Noble https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/david%20alan%20binder
New Amazon Author page https://www.amazon.com/stores/David-Alan-Binder/author/B0CQJ48D76?ref=ap_rdr&store_ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true
Barnes & Noble also has about the author bio as well for each book down by the product details on each individual book, three in all!
HERE IS A FASINATING ARTICLE ON MEDITATION BY Andrew Hickey of the podcast https://500songs.com/podcast/episode-171-hey-jude-by-the-beatles/#more-1949
"The use of mantra meditation is something that exists across religions, and which appears to have been independently invented multiple times, in multiple cultures. In the Western culture to which most of my listeners belong, it is now best known as an aspect of what is known as “mindfulness”, a secularised version of Buddhism which aims to provide adherents with the benefits of the teachings of the Buddha but without the cosmology to which they are attached. But it turns up in almost every religious tradition I know of in one form or another.
The idea of mantra meditation is a very simple one, and one that even has some basis in science. There is a mathematical principle in neurology and information science called the free energy principle which says our brains are wired to try to minimise how surprised we are — our brain is constantly making predictions about the world, and then looking at the results from our senses to see if they match. If they do, that’s great, and the brain will happily move on to its next prediction. If they don’t, the brain has to update its model of the world to match the new information, make new predictions, and see if those new predictions are a better match. Every person has a different mental model of the world, and none of them match reality, but every brain tries to get as close as possible.
This updating of the model to match the new information is called “thinking”, and it uses up energy, and our bodies and brains have evolved to conserve energy as much as possible. This means that for many people, most of the time, thinking is unpleasant, and indeed much of the time that people have spent thinking, they’ve been thinking about how to stop themselves having to do it at all, and when they have managed to stop thinking, however briefly, they’ve experienced great bliss.
Many more or less effective technologies have been created to bring about a more minimal-energy state, including alcohol, heroin, and barbituates, but many of these have unwanted side-effects, such as death, which people also tend to want to avoid, and so people have often turned to another technology.
It turns out that for many people, they can avoid thinking by simply thinking about something that is utterly predictable. If they minimise the amount of sensory input, and concentrate on something that they can predict exactly, eventually they can turn off their mind, relax, and float downstream, without dying.
One easy way to do this is to close your eyes, so you can’t see anything, make your breath as regular as possible, and then concentrate on a sound that repeats over and over. If you repeat a single phrase or word a few hundred times, that regular repetition eventually causes your mind to stop having to keep track of the world, and experience a peace that is, by all accounts, unlike any other experience.
What word or phrase that is can depend very much on the tradition. In Transcendental Meditation, each person has their own individual phrase. In the Catholicism in which George Harrison and Paul McCartney were raised, popular phrases for this are “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner” or “Hail, Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.”
In some branches of Buddhism, a popular mantra is “_NAMU MYŌHŌ RENGE KYŌ_”. In the Hinduism to which George Harrison later converted, you can use “Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare”, “Om Namo Bhagavate Vāsudevāya” or “Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha”.
Those last two start with the syllable “Om”, and indeed some people prefer to just use that syllable, repeating a single syllable over and over again until they reach a state of transcendence."
July 10, 2024 Hey, hey. MIND GAMES is now available in the Brawley California Library and has been checked out about a dozen times. Very cool!
June 1, 2024 Soon to be published, GET RICH Stock Whizonomics AND Expert Trading Guide to Indian Stock Market in a few months.
May 31, 2024 Received my Doctorate Degree. I am so honored.
April 2, 2024
ANOTHER FANTASTIC REVIEW OF MIND GAMES:
Book review
MIND GAMES The Dual Facets of Manipulation and Dark Psychology
by David A. Binder
Laurie Hollman, PhD
lauriehollmanphd.com
Author: Unlocking Parental Intelligence: Finding Meaning in Your Child’s Behavior; Playing with Baby: Research-Based Play to Bond with Your Baby from Birth to One Year; and Are You Living with a Narcissist? How Narcissistic Men Impact Your Happiness, How to Identify Them, and How to Avoid Raising One.
In this comprehensive text, David Binder writes a collection of essays on topics pertaining to what he terms “Dark Psychology” offering an historical and ethical context for the psychological strategies individuals use to perpetrate harmful control over others. As he details the various strategies he not only focuses on manipulative patterns but attempts to offer guidance for those who fall under the influence of these individuals.
In addition, he takes a generational approach making recommendations for future generations of young people to not only identify manipulative behaviors but learn how to understand and respond to them. Included are his insights about how empathy can be cultivated in our digital age not only for individuals but groups and organizations. He considers various aspects of what he
defines as ethical leadership, responsible journalism, and how those in governmental spheres can develop public trust.
David Binder concludes with his focus on the relationship between empathy and interconnectedness as universal compassionate antidotes to the manipulative personalities of others. He offers both the reality of how individuals are impacted as well as the hope for educating those involved in coming to terms with personal experiences.
As a psychoanalyst who has worked extensively with narcissistic personalities who impact others in social, familial, and work situations, I recommend this broad reaching book. Readers will benefit from Binder’s overarching approach to recognizing the impact of leaders as well as every-day individuals with complex motivations that drive them to combat their own deep seated feelings of inferiority by deceptively manipulating others. This is a complicated psychological phenomena that impacts individuals, the media, government, and politics on both personal and large scale levels in society today.
Both the manipulator and the manipulated are in need of mental health supports, education, and professional guidance to understand their emotional dynamics and the potential outcomes of both their daily and long-term struggles in this fascinating area of psychology.
Please note that Dr. Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. is a psychoanalyst with specialized clinical training in infant-parent, child, adolescent and adult psychotherapy, a unique practice that covers the life span. She is an expert on mental disorders such as…the Narcissistic Personality Disorder
February 23, 2024
MIND GAMES The Dual Facets of Manipulation and Dark Psychology in the last two months has sold over 100 copies.
Plus
The Manager's Manager book sales has increased again by 100% by one month.
February 12, 2024
The Manager's Manager book sales has increased by 100% by one month, then by approximately 250% from in the following 7 months, and finally by an additional ~ 136% in the subsequent 7 months. HUGE INCREASE IN SALES!
January 17, 2024
Collaboration
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
The first few weeks of the year have been extremely busy with a few collaborations with T. B. England on his new novel "The Deadly Mission". It has been fun and insightful to see how another author works and for them to take NOT 1, NOT 2 but EIGHT different scenarios and incorporate ALL of them into his novel, In addition, to me Ghost Writing his first chapter as a lead in to the whole novel.
Love the Collaboration. If any of you need any help feel free to get in touch.
December 30, 2023
Bucket Lists
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
I’ve never been a huge fan of bucket lists, although, I do have preferences and a sort of list of things that I’d like to do or travel in my life.
I do have another list that I maintain and that is things or places I do not care to go or do.
I have no desire to travel to the Middle East or to Asia currently. Just not my cup of tea.
The wife and I were discussing stories and news articles on Times Square on New Year’s Eve and some of the night mare things one has to endure to be part of that celebration. When I was way, way younger it may have looked fun but it has no appeal to either of us; especially when my sister’s family moved to New York the first year they had to go to Times Square for New Year’s Eve. After her description, then I made up my mind, no, not for me.
What about you? We all should have lists of preferences, places to go, things to do, even accomplishments to strive for. What are some of yours?
Be sure and be exclusive to the point of maintaining a list, at least in your head, of things you DON’T want to do as well.
It is how we set boundaries and goals for ourselves.
What’s your story?
Please invest in this website, this author, these articles:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
December 15, 2023
A Private Interview with David Alan Binder
In a private interview, David Alan Binder was questioned about his inclination to explore various book genres rather than sticking to one. His response was straightforward: "Why would I? I love multiple flavors and genres. When I write, it's not just for entertainment; it's for the imagination, growth, educational learning, commitment, and joy."
Given your evident commitment to lifelong learning, as reflected in your extensive reading list, achievements, numerous completed classes, educational background, and overall accomplishments, does that accurately capture your perspective? Binder affirmed, "In a nutshell, you have captured what I care about, what I am committed to, and what defines me. I applaud your summation."
When asked about his writing to-do-list, Binder shared, "Because of my early exposure to abuse in nearly every form and the chronic abuse in various forms, helping those who've suffered is extremely important to me." He subscribes to the belief that everyone experiences some form of abuse during their lifetime, emphasizing that it does not define who they are. He notes, "Life happens, and what determines our character, soul, and spirit is how we deal with those situations. They do NOT define us; they merely are there, and it is up to us to find the wherewithal within us to overcome it and not use it as an excuse."
The conversation delved into significant topics, and when asked about other plans, Binder expressed, "Yes, definitely. Live life to the fullest. Continue to write and help others. Gather family, friends, and loved ones that uphold and uplift. Surrounding yourself with those who appreciate you for who and what you are is extremely valuable and adds so much satisfaction, joy, and happiness to our lives."
December 9, 2023
Trust
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
I may have written about trust before and I may do so again since it is an important topic.
At one time I trusted my parents to do the right thing, and came to find out they were acting in their self interest mostly.
Most of us do, so it is no big deal if they do that.
Parents encourage us to be good, or their definition of good. I was encouraged not to lie since lying hid intent and led to subterfuge on my part and made it harder for my parents to figure out the truth.
If I just tell the truth then their job becomes immensely easier.
If I behave then their job becomes immensely easier, for when I behave and am being good in their eyes, they do not have to keep an eye on me all the time and can let me be on my own since they now trust me.
Is their trust I am seeking for me or for them?
Something to think about when you are involved in relationships and feelings and emotions you are choosing to serve their interests and may cast yours aside.
Think about it is all I am saying.
What’s your story?
Please invest in this website, this author, these articles:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
December 5, 2023
Force
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
Typically no one can force you to do something. They can exert pressure especially your parents, your boss, your friends, your neighbors, well just about anyone and everyone exerts pressure at some time or another.
No one forces me to write, it is free will. My will ensures I write, feeds my need to write. It is part of me, it is my brain, my mouth, my words spilling out over and over. It is not a force it is a compulsion. I can't not write, can you?
For writers this means so much, for other artists it falls right there with passion, with gain, with accomplishment, with just the expression of your soul that has a fantastic feedback loop.
Join me from time to time as I write more articles that feed your need.
What’s your story?
Please invest in this website, this author, these articles:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
December 3, 2023
Introducing Beau L'Amour, the son of Louis L'Amour.
"To provide context for my unconventional career in the writing industry, I've held diverse roles such as writer, editor, ghostwriter, screenwriter, TV producer, marketer, art director, and overseer of Louis L'Amour Western Magazine. A significant portion of my career has been devoted to managing the estate of my late father, Louis L'Amour. My experience spans various facets of the entertainment field, offering a broad understanding, though I don't claim accredited expertise in any specific area. My academic background includes a degree in Film from the California Institute of the Arts, and my journey began with part-time work in both Film and Publishing in the mid-1980s. If you're curious to learn more about my endeavors, feel free to explore at..."
More of Beau L'Amour's interview here: https://sites.google.com/site/dalanbinder/beau-lamour-interview-with-david-alan-binder
November 30, 2023
Subscribe
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
This website has NO subscriptions, you do not have to subscribe to read these articles.
These articles are free.
The SUBSCRIBE article I am writing refers to those things, items, beliefs to which you subscribe.
Those subscriptions cost eventually.
Say you subscribe to a certain tenant, belief, action then you feel bound to it.
You are ensuring that you follow that tenant, belief, action.
If you do NOT subscribe to smoking then you will not do it; plus you will avoid instances of inhaling second hand smoke as well. It is just an example.
I could have used many others if I would have chose them.
When you subscribe to a certain belief then you are grooming yourself to follow, adhere, espouse, support, choose, accept, maintain, assume, select, approve and do those things required for that belief.
Be careful what you subscribe to for it will dictate and direct you to do all things to support that belief.
Many of us subscribe to beliefs that may be 80 to 90 percent fulfilling, have true intent, and yet that 10 to 20 percent may be untenable.
Our beliefs stretch to be inclusive all all the good especially our beliefs believe in plus some of the bad things our beliefs fail to mention.
You lose certain freedoms when you subscribe.
You may normally do this thing every morning yet if your belief says not to then you stop doing it.
Is it sane? Is it logical? Does it make sense?
Many beliefs overall feel like good beliefs and yet there are portions that do not make sense, go against plain reason, defy logic, and seem a bit insane to others.
Ensure your beliefs are ones that completely uplift you. Completely fulfill you. If there are portions that you need to release and the belief demands that you do not release that portion then maybe it is time to unsubscribe.
Think about it.
What’s your story?
Please invest in this website, this author, these articles:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
November 13, 2023
An interesting note is that I sent a publicity release in the form of an OPEN LETTER TO THE STUDENTS of Lanphier High School, Kirkland Community College, Mount Mercy University, and San Diego State University plus several area newspapers.
This is that letter:
David Alan Binder's educational journey began at Lanphier High School in 1969. Subsequently, he pursued higher education, earning an Associates degree from Kirkland Community College, a Bachelor of Science degree from Mount Mercy University and later obtaining a Master's degree from San Diego State University.
Binder's literary pursuits have resulted in several noteworthy works. His initial book, "The Manager's Manager: Strategies and Tactics for Effective Leadership," serves as an indispensable resource for managers transitioning to lead other managers. This book is available through traditional publishing and can be found at Barnes & Noble. His second publication, "ALL ABOUT ALGAE: Exploring Algology or Phycology: A Comprehensive Guide to Algae and their Significance," is in the final stages of production and will soon be accessible to readers. Furthermore, his publisher is currently preparing for the release of his third book, titled "MIND GAMES: The Dual Facets of Manipulation and Dark Psychology." Additionally, Binder has completed his fourth book, "GET RICH Stock Whizonomics," which is now awaiting publication.
Binder is a staunch advocate of lifelong learning. Despite being a modest high school student, he recognized the importance of education during his college years, earning a place on the Dean's List at Mount Mercy University and ultimately graduating with honors from San Diego State University.
About David Alan Binder:
David Alan Binder is a highly regarded and internationally recognized author who has garnered numerous awards throughout his illustrious career. With decades of experience in a wide array of energy sectors such as fossil fuels, nuclear energy, geothermal power, electricity generation, irrigation, software development, hardware innovation, and telecommunications, Binder brings a vast reservoir of practical expertise and valuable insights to his audience. His prior literary accomplishments have received widespread critical acclaim and have proven instrumental in assisting countless individuals in honing their skills and attaining success within their respective professional domains.
NO ONE ANSWERED OR ACKNOWLEDGED THAT EMAIL OF THEIR FORMER STUDENT or local resident. I thought that was interesting.
It is hard to make waves when that big rock you threw and was expecting a huge splash, instead there is nothing.
Another success is that my short story The Truth About Ruth was published at the end of September Seagulls Post Magazine Canada
October 1, 2023
Finding Humanity
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
We recently heard about the Sycamore Gap Tree recently being felled by a 16 year old boy. It is one of the most famous trees in England if not the world that had stood for nearly 200 years next to the Roman landmark Hadrian’s Wall. It was prominently featured in Russell Crowe’s Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves movie. Such a sad, sad, very sad state of affairs in the world today when iconic emblems are desecrated.
Have we lost our humanity? Are we so dependent on being noticed that we will do infamous things to attempt to be famous?
Do we need to do the most shocking, provocative things in order to garner attention?
The desperate state of humanity seems to be how can I turn whatever I am doing into a media event. How can I create confusion, controversy, more clicks and streams?
When we lose humanity, when we lose the love of the sacred in nature, in ourselves, in each other then we are truly lost.
Find your humanity, pass it along, be the quiet, stoic, future thinking, supporting each other.
When we find humanity we find ourselves.
What’s your story?
Please invest in this site, this author, this creative person.
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
September 27, 2023
Disagreement may not be disagreeable
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
“An environment that is not safe to disagree is not an environment focused on growth – it’s an environment focused on control.” Wendi Jade
This does not mean be argumentative. It means that opinions, politics and religion, and other initiatives that quelch and are not allowed is controlling. It is abusive, it is using power over you and your will.
WE CAN NOT LET THIS BE PART OF OUR LIVES! EVER!
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
September 11, 2023
Daniel C. Lorti interview with David Alan Binder
His website: https://daniellorti.com/
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/danielclorti/
Where are you currently living?
Southern California
What is the most important thing that you have learned in your writing experience, so far?
Perseverance
What would you say is your most interesting writing, publishing, editing or illustrating quirk?
Inspiration for a book that can come from anywhere
Tell us your insights on self-publish or use a publisher?
Who is the name of your publisher and in what city are they located?
W&B Publishers, Kernersville, NC and Open Road Integrated Media, New York
5. Do you have any secret tips for writers on getting a book published?
Don’t stop writing. Most agents don’t prefer one-book wonders and it improves your writing ability. Consider the genre’s marketability.
6. How did you or would you suggest acquiring an agent? Any tips for new writers on getting one?
I kept writing and sending query letters after each completion. I had just finished my third novel when I received a positive response that led to an agent.
7. Do you have any suggestions or helps or tips for new writers?
Get an idea, write a sentence on it, enlarge it to a premise, then an outline you can evaluate for viability
8. How many books have you written?
I’m on my ninth book.
10. Do you have any tricks or tips to help others become a better writer?
Read constantly other’s novels in your preferred genre. Hire a writing consultant or book editor when you complete your first manuscript. The effort will polish your work and give you an education.
11. Do you have any suggestions for providing twists in a good story?
Put your protagonist through hell from an overwhelming antagonist.
12. What makes your or any book stand out from the crowd?
I have written four novels of historical fiction that transpire in the Medieval Ages, notably the 14th century; and an action-adventure twosome that reflect my background in arms dealing.
13. What is one unusual way in which you promote your work?
Audio books.
14. What is the one thing you would do differently now (concerning writing or editing or publishing or illustrating) and why?
At the beginning I struggled for a book cover design concept until I realize it was simple – key off the title of the book.
15. What saying or mantra do you live by?
If you have inspiration to be a writer, get into the habit of writing – anything but something - every day; and constantly read.
16. Anything else you would like to say?
Go to workshops, conferences, and subscribe to The Writer’s Digest.
September 9, 2023
Luck
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
We determine whether we just survive or if we take it to the next level and thrive.
There is no luck involved.
Quote from Wind River the movie:
“I got lucky.
-Ah. well, luck don't live out here. Luck lives in the city. Don't live out here. It lives where you get hit by a bus or not. Where your bank is robbed or not. At someone's damn cell phone when he come up to a crosswalk. That's luck, that's winning or losing. Out here you survive or you surrender. That's determined by your strength and bare spirit. Wolves don't kill the unlucky deer. They kill the weak ones. You fought for your life Jane. And now you get to walk away with it. You'll get to go home.”
We decide. No one else does it for us. They can talk at us and us at them.
No amount of therapy does that it is within you to make that determination.
For determination is decided by our heart, our soul, our spirit, our mind.
We do that, the therapist does not. Therapy may help, talking with other may help, writing may help.
There is no room for weakness.
The power of us is within us.
Once we figure that out then everything is is easier.
Not a cakewalk, not a picnic, a bit easier.
This is a gift from us to us.
Let’s give to each other and ourselves.
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
September 7, 2023
Full Circle
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
A boy crouches on the floor, playing with the little men. Fighting the wars, making gun sounds, punching sounds as they engage in fist fights in the close quarters fighting.
The anger the boy feels is relived time after time on this war ground for years and years.
Growing up the sticks became weapons, knives, pistols, swords, rifles. Run around the neighborhood using our pretend weapons we fight, dying, protesting about misses, impossible shots, and doing it again and again. Spring, summer, fall and winter doing it until the sun went down or our fingers and ears were so cold we thought they would fall off.
The war? The anger?
I am not like others. I am different. A single parent, a mother, no father. She is always away working. I’m with a sitter of one sort or another. I see my father every other weekend.
The war and anger continues through elementary every day. Continues into junior high, then into high school even. If I am not playing with those little men then I am envisioning them in my head.
Wrestling, fighting, hurting, killing, aiming to maim or wound or worse.
I acquire a whip from the Illinois State fair after seeing grown ups in our trailer court using one.
It is a physical outlet for my anger. Slashing, whipping at grass, sticks, branches, leaves, the concrete, the gravel, even my brother at times when I think I can get away with it.
My rage continues as I suffer at the hands of a father who is stern and hands on. A mother who can be stern and verbally abusive while at others allow me to roam the neighborhood doing whatever so she can rest after work getting me out of her hair.
My anger carries over into my marriage with rages and resentment at what I suffered continually in my mind.
Not necessarily all real, but present within me.
Even my children suffer my wrath at time. I love them. There is no excuse. There are no words strong enough to take that away.
My works suffers as those who treat me with what I see as disrespect continue the victimization that I felt as a child.
I feel pathetic.
I’ve seen therapists and even psychiatrists to deal with those childhood tramas and pain.
Finally I am an author.
My little men, characters on paper still rage and fight. My mind living it. It feels real as I type it out. Hurting within making them do those terrible things I know I can not do for real.
Writing is therapy for me. It allows me to take that wrath I can no longer wield and vent it out of me.
Ridding me of that agony I felt, that I still feel.
Find your outlet.
Find your way of coping.
Find your way of dealing with your crap in your head.
Find a way to let it go.
It does not serve me nor you.
Sometimes your imagination is the only thing keeping you sane.
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
To bring us all up to date, my book ALL ABOUT ALGAE Exploring Algology or Phycology which is
A Comprehensive Guide to Algae and their Significance and a Compendium from BS 101 to
PHD 900 is currently being formatted for publishing and will be out in a month or so.
Plus at the request of my publisher I am currently writing two more books that will be published before the end of the year.
1st will be titled MIND GAMES The Dual Facets of Manipulation and Dark Psychology
2nd will be titled GET RICH Stock Whizonomics
Granted these are working titles, however, I do not foresee any changes but then the whims of nature and my mind changed the name of the ALL ABOUT ALGAE book title when the publisher wanted me to make some worthwhile changes.
You never know when marketing skills will kick in.
August 29, 2023
Da Fine Line of Define
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
At first I thought about all my book titles so far that I’ve written and was worried that I was defying genre.
Many authors write romances, westerns, etc. so that they are nicely grouped.
However: I was wondering if I was not capitalizing on that genre type of thing until I thought.
Hey, my books are educational. They are all educational.
They all give us something to learn and add to our lives and our minds.
Now I have a genre.
[Make sure you read to the end of the article and see the “Point of the article” please]
I write Educational Books, that is my genre. My sub-genre is Self-Help
First is published and the second is imminent and the third and fourth before the end of the year; the titles are:
The Manager's Manager: Strategies and Tactics for Effective Leadership
ALL ABOUT ALGAE - Exploring Phycology or Algology: A Comprehensive Guide to Algae and their Significance
MIND GAMES - The Dual Facets of Manipulation and Dark Psychology
GET RICH Stock Whizonomics
The point of this article is that you define you, let no one else do that for you.
What’s your story?
Please invest in my newest book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
August 25, 2023
The Proof is in the…
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
Here we go with a little known fact: Where did the phrase “the proof is in the pudding” originate?
The earliest printed example of the phrase dates back to the the year 1605 by William Camden in his anthology of historical essays titled 'Remaines of a Greater Worke, Concerning Britaine' where he wrote, “All the proof of a pudding is in the eating.”
HOWEVER
Another source says: This proverb has been traced back to around 1300 but was popularized by Miguel de Cervantes in Don Quixote (1605).
You decide.
Excitement, August 14 the proof PDF followed by the Final Cover on August 23 today the FINAL of them both was sent to the printer from my publisher, Pharos Books.
The title is ALL ABOUT ALGAE Exploring Algology or Phycology A Comprehensive Guide to Algae and their Significance A compendium from BS 101 to PHD 900
Yeah, that’s a long title so for ease of use just call it ALL ABOUT ALGAE.
So excited about this, and last week sent then another book I wrote which is titled:
MIND GAMES The Dual Facets of Manipulation and Dark Psychology
Yes, and we’ll just call this one MIND GAMES.
This is why my articles have been a little less frequent since I’ve been focusing so much time on writing.
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
August 24, 2023
Found this link for The Manager’s Manager https://www.flipkart.com/search?q=david+alan+binder&marketplace=FLIPKART&pageUID=1692792917943 for India
August 23, 2023 Another honor of acknowledgements SPECIAL THANKS [from Sir Charlie Brown goes to]
Kelly Brown helps me to send my stories to Mahip
Kevin Brown who got my f b [Facebook] up and running again
Apple computer spell check saved me time from hunting down words.
David [Alan] Binder Who encouraged my biography.
Mahip Bhatia who publishes my books. [Mahip Bhatia also helps David Alan Binder with his books as well.]
August 22, 2023 It is my honor to be requested as a Ghost writer for T. B. (Timothy Brian) England of Franklin, TN. https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100013219424869 for Chapter One for his book titled "The Deadly Mission" which will be published by Dusty Saddles Publishing https://dspublishingnetwork.com/
August 21, 2023
Sir Charlie Brown interview with David Alan Binder
Sir Charlie Brown is an author and an illustrator. A lot of his illustrations are on Facebook.
Full disclosure, I “met” Sir Charlie Brown at the suggestion of my Publisher Pharos Books Mahip Bhatia. Also, I “met” my publisher through an interview with interview with Koos Verkaik author illustrator. Mahip is on the look out for talent. Looks like he found it in those two fine examples.
His Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/friends/?profile_id=100078632996880¬if_id=1692378687184045¬if_t=friend_confirmed&ref=notif
Many of his books can be found here: https://pharosbooks.in/
#1 Where are you currently living?
I live in Illinois the stat just above Indiana and just below Wisconsin.
#2 What is the most important thing that you have learned in your writing experience, so far?
My writing experience began in our small apartment overlooking a scrap sand lot where they took dogs to do there their thing and the kids boys and girls would play baseball there. I used to get a big five tablet and began illustrating stories using a character called super Thin. A somewhat super hero. I called him that because at the age of 5 or 6 I didn’t know how to draw anything but. Line people.When I finished a story, I was happy to show other it. It soon became apparent that I needed words so I wouldn’t have to explain all the time. Growing up is learning…
#3 What would you say is your most interesting writing, publishing, editing or illustrating quirk?
My favorite is illustrating. One day my dad was home and he drew something on the note book paper. Asking him what it was he replied it was “A duck.” No matter how long I looked at it…It didn’t look any thing like a duck. To my self I thought I could do better. But bless his heart. He was an engineer for a building at the covet club in Chicago. Not an artist.
Also, an another thing that pulled me into the world of art is the fact I wasn’t allowed to go out into the streets and play with other kids. My mother was very overprotective of me. So I had to invent my own worlds; my own creations at the kitchen table.
By the way, Walt Disney taught me a lot about art. How to create a whole story in just one frame of paper.
#4 Tell us your insights on self-publish or use a publisher?
Who is the name of your publisher and in what city are they located?
As I grew older, I drew better and colored better and made stories using my illustrations with a story line.
I began to put them on face book and got a lot of likes. One day I got an email from someone I never met. His name was Mahip Bhatia. He asked me if I wouldn’t mind publishing my material? At first I thought it was a joke. So, I asked him where is he from. He said India. Now I knew it wasn’t a joke it was a scam. So I asked him. “Are you a scammer?” To which he got angry. “No, I’m not!” So I thought of another question to ask. Scammers usually ask for money so, I asked him. “Well, how much do you need?” He got more aggravated, “Why would I need money? I haven’t done nothing for you.” That’s when I knew he wasn’t a scammer. He has now done 11 books for me.
#5 Do you have any secret tips for writers on getting a book published?
Trust in the Lord. But before you do, make sure you are doing it to benefit society and not yourself.
#6 How did you or would you suggest acquiring an agent? Any tips for new writers on getting one?
(see #4)
#7 Do you have any suggestions or helps or tips for new writers (please be so specific that this most likely will not have been seen elsewhere)?
If you are doing a documentary; be sure your as honest as you can be, after you do research. Fiction, don’t use too many cuss words. There offensive and kills the human speech.
#8 How many books have you written?
11
#9 Do you have any tricks or tips to help others become a better writer?
You may think that no one wants to hear about your life. WRONG! Just start small and the time you dropped your toy into the commode.
Or write an about you trip through your town. Keep on writing about little things then eventually it will become grown. Everyone has a history every one has a past. But in 100 years from now no one will know you were around. Your finger prints will be wiped away by time.
#10 Do you have any suggestions for providing twists in a good story?
The best things to do in stories is to foreshadow and always leave the reader with a happy ending a good feeling.
#11 What makes your or any book stand out from the crowd?
I can not answer this question because everyone is different and see things in a different light.
#12 What saying or mantra do you live by?
The words I live by is be honest, have imagination, and always
August 17, 2023
What color is your imagination?
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
Marcus Aurelius is a great leader and human being in some ways and is credited with saying the following:
“A Man's life is dyed the color of his imagination.”
And also
“The things you think about determine the quality of your mind. Your soul takes on the color of your thoughts.”
“Color is your life, your blood, your dreams, your thoughts, your imagination, your love.” David Alan Binder
We often as we read imagine in color and real images, so much so that a woman who’d read a book as a child loved the images so much that after misplacing the book she was able to find the exact same one from her childhood.
Imagine her surprise when she opened it and found page after page of words, no images.
What? She thought, no images but I distinctly remember images she thought. Well, her mind supplied the images as she read it was so vivid and so real to her.
Our minds can take over and supply what the writer does not when the writer has the skill to produce those images in our minds.
That is the kind of writer I aspire to be since that is the style of reader that I am. I produce images and am prolific in that plus enjoy that aspect as well as working on the problems to solve within the book.
So enjoyable. So memorable. So fantastic.
Imagine and it exists.
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
August 13, 2023
Support An Author
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
There are a LOT of ways to support authors without ever spending a dime. I certainly didn’t invent the items on this list, I’ve just read it countless times all over the internet and it’s definitely worth repeating! I stole this list from: https://katekading.com/support-authors-without-spending-a-dime/
Okay, call it retweeting or whatever.
Request the book by title and author at your local library. If the author has more than one title, point this out to library staff. It doesn’t matter where you live in the world…request your favorite authors from everywhere!
Are they already at your library? Check out their book. Tell your friends to check out their book. Get on the waiting list to check out their book. Keep that baby moving!
Request the book to be stocked at your local book store. Yes you can do this without purchasing it!
Review, review, review. Amazon, Goodreads, Facebook, etc. Write a few words, they really do help! Add the book to your Goodreads “to read” list.
All the Socials. Follow the author, like, share, and comment! Engagement on social media is a very valuable contribution when you are looking for a no price, high value way to support. But don’t just hit that thumbs up on Facebook…use the different emotions, give a heart, and type out a comment of more than 3 words. The algorithms are all different and mysterious but steady engagement is key.
Book club it up a notch! Especially when radio stations, websites, and Facebook pages ask for recommendations on what their next read should be. Suggest it to your local book club and word will get around.
Speaking of word getting around…just simply tell your friends about it. You know who reads in your friends circle, who likes women’s literature, true crime, fantasy. Authentic interest starts here.
Do you attend a conference? Request your favorite author as a speaker.
Do you have a website/newsletter/blog of your own? Include a link to the author’s socials.
Let me add a few of my own as well.
Heck, would it hurt you to buy the book? If you don’t want it then donate it to a library or appropriate outlet so it gets around.
My book costs about $12, about two coffees worth or whatever beverage you are drinking, consume then it is gone forever, but a book lasts.
Here are some more stolen ones:
Add their book to your Goodreads “currently reading” list.
Write an Amazon review.
Recommend their book to your Goodreads friends.
Watch them on Facebook Live.
Comment on their blog posts.
Buy a paperback book.
Write a Goodreads review.
Books are produced thousands everyday, the fact that you know, are related, or friends or family of the author is pretty special in its’ own right. How many can say that?
Please, please support authors that you know whether you actually need the book or not.
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
August 3, 2023
Crossroads
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
Oversimplification is embedded in our DNA, our historical roots and cultural roots.
When one thinks in terms such as black and white (denoting two sides of a color spectrum or issue spectrum) then one is ignoring all the other possibilities.
When ignoring other possibilities then one is closing themselves off to potential good to great possibilities.
There are only two sides of a coin, but with each coin toss there is a remote possibility of it landing on the edge.
Ignoring that possibility just because it is unlikely means that the coin could hit the edge and roll down a grate and be lost.
Losing a coin is costly. So it losing half to a third of possibilities by ruling them out.
They are gone forever.
Our imaginations and minds have such great capability and for us to ignore half to a third means so much is lost.
The mistakes of history are loaded with items and issues that have been lost to us.
To be or not to be.
Wait! Do we even hear what is not said there? Where are the possibilities that go beyond being or not being?
Where would that be and how would it look or feel like?
Is there something amiss in that statement or does it cover it all?
We love to simplify since it makes it easier to see an issue if there are only two sides.
Maybe, just maybe a few of us can hold within us both possibilities and yet also hold within us the thousands to millions more that may be possible.
Our limits define and and limit us. Remove your boundaries and think beyond ordinary.
Entertain all possibilities.
Think about other options.
Mull over what else there may be that impacts, pushes and shoves itself around trying to be heard.
Left or right is great but what about the middle, behind, and all the other directions. East and west do not add up to north and south.
Drop me a line or comment to my email and let’s add to all the dimensions that may be currently ignored in history, politics, religion, culture, media and other venues.
There is so much more than what we are holding in our hands and hearts.
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
July 29, 2023
Overlapping Symptoms
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
We all have symptoms of something currently.
We may or may not now what that is about.
Plus when one gets sick one can look at their symptoms and try to guess at their malady.
This can be hit and miss with mixed results plus many symptoms are common to many diseases.
Covid, colds, flu all have some of the same pool of symptoms.
Overlapping symptoms can lead to erroneous conclusions and diagnoses.
Who cares?
We all should care and we all should be careful of diagnosing anything from psychiatric, to medical, to other issues.
Putting a person into a certain diagnose leads that diagnoser to assess and believe their own assessment and therefore treat the person either in behavior incorrectly.
For instance, autism shares many symptoms when Googling the following “What disorders share symptoms with autism?
A website called https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/conditions-accompany-autism-explained/#:~:text=The%20conditions%20that%20overlap%20with,as%20attention%20deficit%20hyperactivity%20disorder%20 states:
“The conditions that overlap with autism generally fall into one of four groups: classic medical problems, such as epilepsy, gastrointestinal issues or sleep disorders; developmental diagnoses, such as intellectual disability or language delay; mental-health conditions, such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder”
If you guess wrong you are not in the same ball park but maybe not even in the same country.
Being careful with your diagnosis of a situation can be equally full of mines and if you step on one then metaphorically you can get you mind blown away when you are wrong.
I know, been there and done that.
What is your take on this?
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
July 25, 2023
Sampling Google AI Labs a new feature then an article about Overall Disconnect
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
Thus begins the experiment.
Hope you enjoy and take all with a grain of salt or skepticism.
David Alan Binder is writing this article with the use of Google Labs AI by providing me with a prompt and then I [all I’s or me from now on refer to Google AI] am generating text based on that prompt. I am able to do this because I have been trained on a massive dataset of text and code. This allows me to generate text that is both factual and creative.
As for what your audience may expect to experience with the Google Labs AI feature, they can expect to see a variety of different things. For example, they may see me generate text that is similar to human-written text, or they may see me generate text that is more creative or experimental. They may also see me generate text that is tailored to their specific interests.
Overall, the Google Labs AI feature is a powerful tool that can be used to generate a variety of different types of text. I am excited to see how it is used in the future.
Overall disconnect is a feeling of being separated from others, from the world around you, or from yourself. It can be caused by a variety of factors, including trauma, mental health conditions, and social isolation.
Now I have asked Google AI to explain “overall disconnect”.
Overall disconnect can have a significant impact on a person's life. It can make it difficult to form relationships, maintain employment, and participate in activities that once brought joy. It can also lead to feelings of loneliness, hopelessness, and despair.
If you are experiencing overall disconnect, it is important to seek help from a mental health professional. There are many effective treatments available, and you do not have to go through this alone.
As for how it may affect my craft, I believe that overall disconnect could make it difficult for me to connect with my audience and to generate creative content. I may find it difficult to understand the needs and desires of my audience, and I may have trouble coming up with ideas that are both original and relevant. Additionally, I may find it difficult to stay motivated and focused on my work, as I may feel disconnected from the world around me.
However, I believe that it is important to remember that everyone experiences overall disconnect from time to time. It is a normal human experience, and it does not mean that I am a failure or that I am not capable of creating great work. If I do find myself struggling with overall disconnect, I will reach out for help and support from my friends, family, and colleagues. I will also make sure to take care of myself physically and mentally, so that I can be in the best possible position to create my best work.
This experiment shows the capability of Google AI. I do not plan on writing any articles or books with Google AI, occasionally I will use an AI to explain things to me, help me research various subjects or define things that I need more understanding with.
Then I bring that explanation or research or understanding in my own words into my writing. Most usually I just Google or search for that explanation or research or understanding; however, like AI; search has its limitations.
Everything has limitations and there are reasons to use or not use and as with most things, take a modicum of care. Sometimes AI explanations are full of myth and not reality and sometimes downright lies.
Do not get into a discussion with AI since it is not human and cannot bring the full range of emotion and understanding to any subject.
It is a machine and a tool. Use it sparingly and subjectively and always, ALWAYS verify anything before you print or publish.
Plus it is NOT copyrightable. It is a machine and there is no creativity that beat a human’s creativity.
If you treat it like a friend or assistant then you may be disappointed. Real friends and assistants are invaluable and cannot be replaced.
Think Piece by David Alan Binder
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
July 21, 2023
Karass
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
What is a Karass?
Simply put it is; an aspect of Kurt Vonnegut’s Cat’s Cradle is the fake religion, Bokononism, followed by the people of San Lorenzo island. That religion or spiritualism believes
Individuals will come and go in your life, yet you will consistently uphold a bond with a particular collective, separate from your circle of friends or colleagues. Together, without conscious awareness, you will cooperate as part of a grand scheme.
A Karass is “a team that do God’s Will without ever discovering what they are doing” (team meaning whomever you designate or befriend) (God’s Will means whatever higher power you believe or don’t ascribe to-it may be Allah or whomever or even yourself, nature or even within that lack of belief or consciousness)
We are sparks.
We flit through the night and day like fireflies igniting and reigniting and sometimes those sparks form fantastic results within us and outside of us.
We germinate with others.
We collaborate, we communicate and each interaction may culminate in a grand discovery, or just a wonderful feeling.
Have you ever experienced something like this?
Someone who you met for the first time and a feeling was kindled that permeated you and them that you were destined to meet and interact. This may be love or just that you get along so famously.
This spark may illuminate feelings within you or them, it may ignite greater discoveries, or meanings or attitudes.
It is inexplicable and yet it resonates so strongly that it exists.
Think of a time when this has happened to you.
Think of how you will react the next time it happens and look forward to it.
Let it soak in either the time that it happened before or the time it will happen again.
Bath in it and relish it.
Guaranteed it can and will happen.
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
July 17, 2023
Input Output
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
You’ve heard a phrase that is similar to crap in then crap out.
Your art is only as good as your input. Maybe even just a one fourth to one third as good.
So your input into your craft has to be at least 200 to 400 percent higher to be able to output at a decent rate.
How do you do this?
Here are some for instances and certainly it does not cover every creative craft but you may infer how this my work for your specific craft.
If you are an illustrator then classes and mucho practice are required.
NOTE: By classes I mean there are all kinds of classes to the use of the specific medium, type of art you want to produce, the masters, online, internet, university, OJT-On The Job training, etc. There are all kinds of classes and even some self teaching may apply but the more the better your craft.
If you are a video or audio technician then familiarity with the specific equipment you are using is a first step, then classes-same as above, then more practice are required.
If you are a writer then study writing, learn from the masters, take all kinds of classes in the form of online, internet, seat in the chair type classes at universities, etc.
Now we can go into whittling, sculpting, painting, stuccoing, roofing, mechanic, plumbing, electrical, financial planner, etc.; but most crafts are built on the basics of learning the methods and kinds, what is applicable and what is not, attending classes of some type, seminars-accredited and non-accredited, even OJT (on the job) is applicable for every craft. Then the rote practice, practice and practice until you have honed that craft sharply.
So if you have little or no input what comes out is not going to be very good.
I’ve been in critique classes of people who write for a specific type of individual; juveniles, children, adults, fiction, non-fiction, etc. and it is unreal how some people do not know the basics of the story:
“The Six Basic Elements Of Storytelling
There are six basic elements to any story ever told, whether true or fictional. Some stories contain some of the elements, others, all of them. Quoted from https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/six-basic-elements-storytelling-edith-crnkovich they are:
1. Character: A person or persons that take part in the action of a story.
2. Setting: Time and place in which it happens. It's important to provide a strong sense of setting.
3. Theme: The central idea or belief.
4. Plot: A series of events and character actions that relate to the central conflict.
5. Conflict: A struggle between people or things like society or something inside them. It's important to provide the necessary context and emotion for the audience to make the connection and process the story.
6. Resolution: How did the character(s) change or transform through challenge?
WHAT ARE WAS THAT PERSON THINKING?
Oh, I have a story in my head and I’ll put words on a paper and viola, here is a fantastic story.
Well yes, you might think so, but colleagues, editors, publishers, critiquers may shake their heads. No. No. No.
On the other hand if you decide to enter a craft at any age then learn the basics before you pick up your tools and craft.
Otherwise you are just doing to for only you, which is okay. The public wants GREAT, FANTASTIC material that is intriguing, mesmerizing, creates visuals, surprises and delights.
Tailor the craft for a wider audience and they will seek you out.
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
July 13, 2023
Moral Agency
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
Understanding moral agency within us means we are learning about how and why we work and what are the forces driving us.
Simply put, since my parents were divorced and it was huge torment for me and how I grew up I therefore determined that I would NEVER divorce.
That is a gigantic statement for me to make as a little boy and it has been a force driving me throughout my life.
So what if a scenario came up where my wife cheated with another person on me. Would I divorce her?
Ah! There is the underlying problem with my moral agency code that I took upon me.
For if I NEVER, EVER would divorce then I have removed some boundaries from my life that maybe should not ever be removed.
In that case scenario, it allows me to accept the fact that my wife cheated and I remain married and ignore that transgression.
Wow! What a statement! How does this shape me and my thinking and IS IT HEALTHY?
Probably not and we have to recognize those things within us that allow us to accept things that maybe should not be accepted.
Moral agency can be as much of a handicap as it is a boon in working for or against us.
So we must be extremely careful with those “built in” thoughts that we take upon us as youth.
Those youthful thoughts are NOT fully developed and therefore should not be used as drivers of our future vehicles of desire.
I looked moral agency and this is the definition that I received from the American Association of Colleges of Nursing website (that is sort of interesting detail in and of itself): “Identifying and examining our values is key to understanding why we behave as we do and how we make moral decisions. Moral agency then, is having the intent and then acting to pursue, achieve, and maintain optimal beneficial outcomes consistent with the moral/ethical principles of one's practice.
It is our foundation and our desires all at once and I believe we should reexamine them at all stages of our lives to ensure those values are getting us to our desired destination.
Something to think about.
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
July 11, 2023
We Need Management
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
To paraphrase Seth Godin, “...there’s a need for management…[for without it…nothing will]...get done on its own.”
So the whole sentence now reads,
“There’s a need for management for without it nothing will get done on its owns.”
We need management.
We manage every aspect of our lives from waking to sleeping and even then sometimes.
Time management, task management, relationship management, money management, physical, spiritual, psychological, medical, we are the practitioners of management since we’ve been born to the day we leave the earth.
Without management there is chaos.
As Managers of our lives we need management.
Management is a necessity.
We need management in all aspects of our lives.
Otherwise, no dinner, no shopping, no conversation, no social interactions, no parties, no fun, nothing. Just nothing.
We manage every aspect of our lives.
The most, the best, the wonderful, the exciting, the planning, the anticipation, the thrill, the EVERYTHING-needs management.
The Manager's Manager Strategies and Tactics for Effective Leadership
5 STAR REVIEWS!
Only $11.99 Softcover
Here is the Barnes & Noble INTERNATIONALLY link: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-managers-manager-david-alan-binder/1143538736
Please consider purchasing it, your life is all about management skills even if you are retired.
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
July 7, 2023
Knowledge
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
Today's knowledge is infinitely smarter than yesterday's. The decisions you made yesterday did not the benefit from the additional knowledge that you’ve learned since then.
Too bad! Those decisions you made yesterday are still valid. completely correct by yesterday's standards.
Yet, many berate themselves for not having prior knowledge of something or an event.
How could they know?
We make the best decisions with today’s accumulated knowledge that we are able.
You are smarter now, that knowledge applies going forward.
Plus tomorrow’s knowledge ensure we are infinitely growing and applying that new knowledge.
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
June 30, 2023
Structure
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
If one starts building without a plan the structure is haphazard and piecemeal. With no real plan of attack the “house” or structure that one builds becomes meaningless. Due to the fact that planning, discipline, following rules or guidelines for building need to be adhered to in order to have an optimum structure.
For instance, you can completely build a house without a foundation, without plumbing and electricity; and later if you decide you want those items they can be sort of added on later, but it is wonky. Pipes and wires running inside or outside of a house are susceptible to freezing, heat, damage, and looks extremely unsightly. Not to mention adding a foundation later. It can be done but if your structure the vertical load bearing posts are just sunk in the ground and pouring concrete inside to make a floor and more stability to the house, it is unsightly and adds layers to the floor and maybe makes HVAC an issue, ventilators may get covered up or you’d have to extend them.
Can you envision that? Addons may seem weird. Take for instance my Dad added a bathroom on to our house and it was an afterthought. He needed septic since there was no sewer system in the rural area we lived in. The outhouse was then not needed. However that bathroom was pretty cold since the furnace was clear in the living room, which was three rooms away. There was the bathroom, then doorway to the utility room, then doorway to the kitchen, then at the far end of the kitchen was a doorway to the living room and the heat. Not sure exactly why pipes did not freeze in the kitchen or bathroom and that was before heat tape and that kind of protection. Weird.
We need structure, plans, discipline or the construct is unwieldy. It is just not conducive to the fact if each item is planned and intermingled to fit within the structure. HVAC, electrical, plumbing, etc. all have a place and a purpose and each has to be thought out and co-exist together and work together. If you HVAC does not have electrical to it then it won’t work. If you water heater or tub does not have plumbing it won’t work properly. They need to collaborate and cooperate together for each to add to the stability of the other equipment.
Houses are complex. So is any craft, construction, painting, writing, etc. All must have guidelines and work together to bring the whole into being, just like the items that go into a house.
Otherwise your “home” may have more chaos than calm.
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
June 25, 2023
Happy Anniversary!
We Need Management
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
To paraphrase Seth Godin, “...there’s a need for management…[for without it…nothing will]...get done on its own.”
So the whole sentence now reads,
“There’s a need for management for without it nothing will get done on its owns.”
We need management.
As Managers of our lives we need management.
Management is a necessity.
We need management in all aspects of our lives.
Otherwise, no dinner, no shopping, no conversation, no social interactions, no parties, no fun, nothing. Just nothing.
We manage every aspect of our lives.
The most, the best, the wonderful, the exciting, the planning, the anticipation, the thrill, the EVERYTHING-needs management.
The Manager's Manager Strategies and Tactics for Effective Leadership
5 STAR REVIEWS!
Only $11.99 Softcover
Here is the Barnes & Noble INTERNATIONALLY link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/9358042613?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_dp_DHMPQW964NRQBV5HDX5M
Please consider purchasing it, your life is all about management skills even if you are retired.
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
June 24, 2023
It turns out Amazon has dropped the ball for those of us authors who sell only a few to dozens of books. We are eliminated from their selling site. My book was, however, good news Barnes & Noble supports us little authors so please kindly patronize them.
Thanks so much for your support.
June 23, 2023
What or who matters
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
Quibbling over a word or words on social media.
Posting to others who may not read, follow, or care for your post, or have snoozed you for 30 days.
Catching up in forums to see what is new.
Seeing how many likes you have.
Communicating with strangers.
Your life’s newspaper on social media maybe used to figuratively line the bird cage for other people.
How do you know if they read it?
How do you know if it is important to them?
How do you know if it matters?
Usually we phone, text, email to those that matter and they respond in a timely manner.
Those that matter, matter.
Those who don’t we seem to pay attention to more than those who do.
We may give more time to those who don’t matter over those who do.
Only we can correct that behavior, if we even realize that we do it and we realize that it matters.
Do you matter to you?
Then act like it and cater to those who matter over the others.
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
June 21, 2023
Why Justify
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
If we use the word “because” in a response it is a justification.
Why do we need to justify?
The answer is usually because we feel we have to.
We fear not being believed, not having enough credibility, or just convincing someone or ourselves. So we justify.
We make excuses, we pass over some mistakes and drive ourselves crazy with the mental flogging for other mistakes.
We are judge, jury and executioner in our heads and the mental gymnastics are superb.
As our defense lawyer, we are eloquent, passionate, winning over approvals, smiles and playing to the crowd. As our prosecutor we are the worst scoundrel, the one cad, who knows our weaknesses and knows how to exploit them most.
As a judge we can be benevolent yet harsh, sentencing ourselves to rethink and wish for do-overs, and serving hard time for our errors.
As the jurors in our heads are appalled, delighted and won-over, or think, “how despicable!”.
We are the ultimate in using our skills for and against us.
Time to sentence the judge, jury and lawyers in our heads to banishment.
They do not belong. They serve no purpose.
We don’t need to employ them.
For without that judge, jury and lawyers our heads are clear, our purpose comes to light and we move forward and progress.
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
June 19, 2023
Ambivalent
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
The thing about being ambivalent is that it is so middle of the road, so namby-pamby, so uncertain, so unsure, inconclusive, so indecisive, so blah.
Sure we see plenty of side taking, their team versus our team type of thing but that middle ground is also heavily populated.
In personal relationships:
What fires you up?
What are you passionate about?
What do you care about?
Is family everything?
Is blood really thicker than anything?
It is my belief and opinion, that many out there are no longer invested in us, could care less, can take or leave us.
If we exist that is okay and if we don’t that is also okay.
What makes us feel the way we do about people?
Are there circumstances that absolutely dictate that we put people in a time out over in the corner not to be bothered with not to speak with?
If some people break boundaries or rules or conventions of the norm than yes, that is a good place for them.
If some other people have not done that but one remains ambivalent then why?
Think about it.
If there is someone that deserves a second chance then maybe this is the time to grant that.
Give them that one more chance and see what happens.
Let them into your life for a second.
[NOT to be confused with those who NEVER deserve a second chance and there are those for sure.]
I believe you can sort out the difference for yourself and decide.
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
June 17, 2023
Will the real David Alan Binder please stand up
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
First some news: Just signed a contract for my second book.
Sounds like What’s My Line the title to this article if you remember that old TV show.
If you type into Google “David Alan Binder” you will see this website and my book on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Good Reads and many authors I’ve interviewed. Pretty interesting to me at least.
Wait, then there is that other guy David Alan Binder at Brenau University on the website Rate My Professors, who is NOT me by the way.
Then this guy David Alan Binder, xxxx SW 2nd St Ankeny, Iowa 50023 who is Self-employed as a Consultant.
Wait another one US Patent Office? Patent number US8302774B2 for Stabilized glycerin-in-oil emulsions, Inventor: David Alan Binder, Bing C. Mei, Thi N. Do, George Willms, Hossein A. Baghdadi with Avon Products Inc.
Laundry cleansing and conditioning compositions, another patent from 2003, David Alan Binder (Saddle Brook, NJ), probably same guy as above.
I even found my book link for Amazon India.
Incredible.
I had to do some deep diving to find the patent and Amazon India link.
Interesting, really.
Who is using your name?
Yes, I don’t belong to me. I am not as unique as I thought I was.
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
June 15, 2023
Word Count
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder via Story Grid:
Thanks to Story Grid for enabling sharing!
The following is a complete quote of their article:
How Many Words in a Novel:
A Comparison of Word Count to Page Count in Novels
As a writer, understanding word count is crucial to planning and executing your novel. Whether you’re a first-time author or a seasoned pro, knowing how many words are in a novel will help you gauge your progress and set realistic goals. In this article, we’ll explore the factors that influence word count, provide examples of novels with different lengths, and offer tips on how to manage your word count effectively.
How Many Words in a Novel: A Comparison of Word Count to Page Count in Novels
Factors Influencing Word Count
Several factors can influence the word count of a novel, including:
Genre: Different GENRES have different conventions when it comes to word count. For instance, fantasy and science fiction novels tend to be longer, while romance and crime novels may be shorter.
Writing Style: Some writers have a more concise style, while others prefer a more elaborate, descriptive approach. This can significantly affect the word count of a novel.
Formatting: The size of the page, the font, and the spacing can all impact the reader’s perception of story length. A novel with larger margins or a larger font size will have fewer words per page than one with smaller margins or a smaller font size. This can cause books with multiple editions to have vastly different page counts.
Examples of Novels and Number of Pages
Short Novels or Novellas
A novel of around 100 pages is considered a novella or a short novel. It usually contains around 20,000 to 30,000 words. This length is perfect for a focused story with a small cast of characters and a simple, linear plot. Examples include the following:
The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway (approximately 26,000 words or 50–180 pages): This Pulitzer Prize-winning novella follows the story of an old fisherman and his epic battle with a giant marlin.
The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (approximately 27,000 words or 90–120 pages): This novella, originally translated from French, follows a young prince as he visits various planets. The story is told from the perspective of an aviator who encounters the prince after a plane crash in the desert.
Animal Farm by George Orwell (approximately 29,000 words or 80–140 pages): This allegorical novella uses a group of farm animals to satirize Stalinist Russia and critique totalitarianism.
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck (approximately 30,000 words or 70–120 pages): This novella tells the story of two migrant workers looking for a job during the Great Depression in California.
Novels
A novel typically contains between 40,000 and 90,000 words, an ideal length for many genre fiction works. This length is common for many contemporary works of fiction and provides ample space for complex plots and character development. Examples of novels include the following:
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (approximately 47,000 words or 160–240 pages): This classic American novel explores themes of wealth, social class, and the American Dream in the Roaring Twenties.
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins (approximately 99,750 words or 370–390 pages): This dystopian young adult novel follows the story of Katniss Everdeen, who is forced to participate in a brutal televised competition where teenagers fight to the death.
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (approximately 100,000 words or 320–390 pages): This Pulitzer Prize-winning novel explores themes of racial injustice and moral growth through the eyes of a young girl in the American South.
Long Novels
A long novel typically has 100,000+ words. This length is suitable for more intricate stories, often reserved for epic works of fiction with sprawling narratives, extensive world-building, and a vast array of characters. Examples of long novels include:
A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin (approximately 298,000 words or 690–720 pages): The first book in the A Song of Ice and Fire series, this epic fantasy novel introduces readers to the complex and deadly world of Westeros, where noble houses vie for power and control.
The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt (approximately 300,000 words or 770–790 pages): This Pulitzer Prize-winning novel tells the story of a young man named Theo Decker whose life is changed forever after a terrorist attack at an art museum.
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy (approximately 587,000 words or 1100-1400 pages): This classic Russian novel explores the lives of several aristocratic families against the backdrop of the Napoleonic Wars.
Tips for Managing Your Word Count
Don’t stress about hitting an exact number: While it’s important to have a general idea of your novel’s word count, don’t get too caught up in hitting a specific number. Focus on telling the story you want to tell, and trust that the word count will work itself out.
Outline your story: Creating a detailed outline can help you visualize your novel’s structure, making it easier to gauge your word count and identify areas where you may need to add or remove content. Check out the Story Grid NARRATIVE PATH article for help outlining a story.
Edit and revise: During the editing process, focus on tightening your prose, eliminating redundancies, and ensuring that every word serves a purpose. This can help you manage your word count and improve the overall quality of your novel.
Set a daily or weekly writing goal: Establishing a word count goal can help you stay on track and maintain momentum throughout your writing process.
Conclusion
Understanding word count and the length of your story is essential for writers. With this guide, you should now have a better idea of how many words are in different types of stories, along with examples to help you plan your own writing project. Remember to consider factors such as GENRE, formatting, and writing style, and use the tips provided to manage your word count effectively.
June 13, 2023
Successful
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
What defines success and being successful?
It is not an arrival point it is a journey.
Sound familiar.
Once I thought being a success meant I would write a book and be published.
Oh but I was wrong.
I was successful long before that and had achieved success long ago.
Just conquering the ability to read and write was a success.
It made me successful in life because I used those abilities to continue to other successes.
Pass tests, gain employment, gain even better employment, be laid off and then gain another employment.
I snaked through life, I managed through life, I rose, climbed, fell and then got up and started over.
So many successes. The successful fall meant that I would have a successful getting up and trying again.
WAIT! That is success? Falling? Yes.
All failures are success if you use them to get back up and strive again.
You are achieving success even with those lessons you’d rather not learn.
Since you learned from them then that is success.
Now you are successful at something.
And that my friend is why you are amazing.
Why are you amazing? Just think of all your successes that make you the person you are now.
Breathe in those moments that define you.
It is not all good and it is not all bad, it is a mixture.
And mixtures are what comes together to make a batter, a clay, a tonic that propels you beyond what you would have achieved if you’d only had one ingredient.
One winning ingredient mixed with nothing else just means you’ve achieved one thing.
Mix that in with the practices, the tries, the attempts and the overcoming, then you have a real mix and something that in the end becomes you.
You are an amalgamation.
You are fantastic.
And it is high time that you look at, perceive that, be content with that.
You be you.
What a wonder! What a story! What an amalgamation you are!
Use your positivity just like you use your words.
Define yourself above what others define you.
Afterall it is just an opinion and your opinion matters most.
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
June 12, 2023
Good News! Won 3rd place in the Children’s Stories Anthology Something Or Other Publishing
Also, my book is now available at Barnes & Noble via order
June 11, 2023
Will the real David Alan Binder please stand up
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
Sounds like What’s My Line the title to this article if you remember that old TV show.
If you type into Google “David Alan Binder” you will see this website and my book on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Good Reads and many authors I’ve interviewed. Pretty interesting to me at least.
Wait, then there is that other guy David Alan Binder at Brenau University on the website Rate My Professors, who is NOT me by the way.
Then this guy David Alan Binder, xxxx SW 2nd St Ankeny, Iowa 50023 who is Self-employed as a Consultant.
Wait another one US Patent Office? Patent number US8302774B2 for Stabilized glycerin-in-oil emulsions, Inventor: David Alan Binder, Bing C. Mei, Thi N. Do, George Willms, Hossein A. Baghdadi with Avon Products Inc.
Laundry cleansing and conditioning compositions, another patent from 2003, David Alan Binder (Saddle Brook, NJ), probably same guy as above.
I even found my book link for Amazon India.
Incredible.
I had to do some deep diving to find the patent and Amazon India link.
Interesting, really.
Who is using your name?
Yes, I don’t belong to me. I am not as unique as I thought I was.
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
June 7, 2023
Seven Bridges Road
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
Today we’ll do a fluff piece with some information plus a song.
Actually anytime you or someone else writes it is not fluff to the writer for they are putting their concentration, effort and soul into it.
Any creator knows this, from plunking around to arranging paint at a canvas with a brush or whatever and trying to achieve an artistic style and come up with something new and different.
The point is experiment with styles and genres and applications.
Back to the article.
From Wikipedia
“"Seven Bridges Road" is a song written by American musician Steve Young, recorded in 1969 for his Rock Salt & Nails album. It has since been covered by many artists, the best-known versions being a five-part harmony arrangement by English musician Iain Matthews in 1973 and the 1980 version recorded by the American rock band the Eagles in 1980.
Here is the song by the Eagles:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hufU6MIS2vw
Fantastic harmonies and great song.
"Seven Bridges Road" is an ode to Woodley Road (County Road 39, Montgomery County, Alabama), a rural two-lane road which runs south off East Fairview Avenue - the southern boundary of the Cloverdale neighborhood of Montgomery, Alabama - at Cloverdale Road, and which features seven bridges: three pairs of bridges, and the seventh approximately 1 mile south by itself. The song's composer Steve Young, stated that and his friends "used to go out to Woodley Road carousing around" "I wound up writing this song that I never dreamed anybody would even relate to, or understand, or get. And I still don't understand why it was so successful, actually" "I don't know [exactly] what [the] song means" "Consciously... I [just] wrote...a song about a girl and a road in south Alabama" "But I think on another level the song has something kind of cosmic...that registers in the subconscious: the number seven has all of these religious and mystical connotations."”
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
June 3, 2023
Discussion
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
Today let’s discuss this topic.
What? A discussion?, you ask.
How can we have a discussion when you are writing the article and we are reading it?
This is how, my dear readers:
As you read you “discuss” the nuances, depths and truths of the article.
You breathe in the article through your eyes and brain then you mull it over and see if there is any merit to the article.
You actually do this hundreds of times per day.
Most of the things you see on your screen and in real life are processed by you for merit, for truth, for actuality, to see if they make sense, have meaning and have any information for you to harvest.
Sometimes we harvest information and then later decide to discard it.
That is how it works. What we thought was for us turns out to be something we do not need and sometimes what we thought was not so good, we do a double take somewhere inside of us and think, oh, wait. That is good stuff.
Let me breathe that in, maybe go back and mull it over and take it in full hearted.
This is all up to you.
Be aware. Be resourceful. Be at peace, knowing that as you give your attention you are sorting, clipping and pasting within yourself.
We all use this mechanism so be very cautious and sometimes leary at what you take in.
Think it over and then decide what you will inhale and what you will exhale.
Breathe deep!
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
May 31, 2023
My NEW book is NOW available in the USA, Canada, North and South America! The Manager's Manager Strategies and Tactics for Effective Leadership
Here is the Amazon USA link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/9358042613?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_dp_DHMPQW964NRQBV5HDX5M
Here is the Amazon India, Asia, Europe, China, Japan, Australia, etc. link: The Manager’s Manager https://amzn.eu/d/7PbjfJY
REVIEWS ARE NEEDED! Be kind, please.
June 7, 2023
First new news: Something Or Other Publishing nominated my story to be in their Anthology.
Discussion
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
Today let’s discuss this topic.
What? A discussion?, you ask.
How can we have a discussion when you are writing the article and we are reading it?
This is how, my dear readers:
As you read you “discuss” the nuances, depths and truths of the article.
You breathe in the article through your eyes and brain then you mull it over and see if there is any merit to the article.
You actually do this hundreds of times per day.
Most of the things you see on your screen and in real life are processed by you for merit, for truth, for actuality, to see if they make sense, have meaning and have any information for you to harvest.
Sometimes we harvest information and then later decide to discard it.
That is how it works. What we thought was for us turns out to be something we do not need and sometimes what we thought was not so good, we do a double take somewhere inside of us and think, oh, wait. That is good stuff.
Let me breathe that in, maybe go back and mull it over and take it in full hearted.
This is all up to you.
Be aware. Be resourceful. Be at peace, knowing that as you give your attention you are sorting, clipping and pasting within yourself.
We all use this mechanism so be very cautious and sometimes leary at what you take in.
Think it over and then decide what you will inhale and what you will exhale.
Breathe deep!
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
June 3, 2023
WOW, relationships are so complicated!
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
We are now engaged in loving and wonderful relationships with seven immediate family members plus dozens of other friends and extended family. estranged from four different family members and one I would designate as very strained and uncertain.
Unbelievable!
Note the strikethrough text and the non-strikedthrough text.
Context, perspective, positivity live and breathe into your soul.
Negativity sucks the very essence out of you.
We suffer from CPTSD, Critical, Childhood, Complex-you chose the applicable or maybe they are all applicable to you.
What is important is to realize that you suffer from it and then discovering what to do about it.
Some helpful hints and clues are below, but you have to do the work.
Me telling you does not help you.
You have to put in the time and the effort and the practice.
Yes, lots of practice, anything worthwhile takes extensive and intensive practice.
It also requires the right therapy and someone who understands where you are coming from and where you need to go to.
Again the therapist is a guide, someone to bounce ideas and thoughts against and then you apply, apply, repeat, apply all that work into correcting those crappy thoughts and ideas that you implanted into yourself over time.
Yes, our perspective skewed us and our new perspective will shift our view into the proper space and time and realization.
Personally I have just identified that I also have gone through a new thing I’ve learned about that is called “abandonment melange”. If you’d like to learn more then link to Pete Walker here is the small article he has on that:
“
Frequently Asked Questions About Complex PTSD
What may I have been misdiagnosed with?
What are the signs that I’m recovering?
How Did I Get Complex PTSD?;
How do I know I am in a Flashback?
What is a trigger?
What is the Abandonment Depression? The Abandonment Melange?
Why does it take so long to actually get that you’re recovering?
Why do you specialize in Complex PTSD?
Written by Pete Walker
What may I have been misdiagnosed with?
Renowned traumatologist, John Briere, is said to have quipped that if Complex PTSD were ever given its due – that is, if the role of dysfunctional parenting in adult psychological disorders was ever fully recognized, the DSM (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders used by all mental health professionals) would shrink to the size of a thin pamphlet. It currently resembles a large dictionary. In my experience, many clients with Complex PTSD have been misdiagnosed with various anxiety and depressive disorders, as well as bipolar, narcissistic, codependent and borderline disorders. Further confusion arises in the case of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder), as well as obsessive/compulsive disorder, which is sometimes more accurately described as an excessive, fixated flight response to trauma. This is also true of ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and some dissociative disorders which are similarly excessive, fixated freeze responses to trauma. (See my article “A Trauma Typology”.)
This is not to say that those so diagnosed do not have issues that are similar and correlative with said disorders, but that these labels are incomplete and unnecessarily shaming descriptions of what the client is afflicted with. Calling complex PTSD “panic disorder” is like calling food allergies chronically itchy eyes; over-focusing treatment on the symptoms of panic in the former case and eye health in the latter does little to get at root causes. Feelings of panic or itchiness in the eyes can be masked with medication, but all the other associated problems that cause these symptoms will remain untreated. Moreover most of the diagnoses mentioned above imply deep innate characterological defects rather than the learned maladaptations to stress that children of trauma are forced to make– adaptations, once again that were learned and can therefore usually be extinguished and replaced with more functional adaptations to stress.
In this vein, I believe that many substance and process addictions also begin as misguided, maladaptations to parental abuse and abandonment – early adaptations that are attempts to soothe and distract from the mental and emotional pain of complex PTSD.
What are the signs that I’m recovering?
Effective recovery work leads to an ongoing gradual reduction of emotional flashbacks. Over time we become more and more proficient at managing them and alleviating unnecessary states of activation; this in turn results in flashbacks occurring less often, less enduringly and less intensely.
Another key sign of recovering is that the critic begins to shrink and lose its dominance of the psyche. As it shrinks, the user-friendly ego has room to grow and to develop the kind of mindfulness that more readily recognizes when the critic has taken over, which in turn allows us to more readily disidentify form or fight against its perfectionistic and drasticizing processes.
Another sign of recovering occurs as a gradual increase in our ability to relax - to resist overreacting from a triggered position, i.e., from an inappropriate fight, flight, freeze or fawn response; (See my article: “A Trauma Typology”). Moreover, there is an increase in our ability to use our fight, flight, freeze and fawn instincts in healthy non-self-destructive ways, so that we only fight back when under real attack, only flee when odds are insurmountable, only freeze when we need to go into acute observer mode, only fawn when it is appropriate to be self-sacrificing. Another way of describing this is that we have good balance between the polar opposites of fight and flight, i.e., we can vacillate healthily between asserting our own needs and compromisingly acquiescing to the needs of others. Moreover we can balance the polar opposites of flight and freeze, which in their moderate manifestations looks like a balance between doing and being, between sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system arousal, between left and right brain processing.
Advanced recovery correlates with letting go the salvation fantasy that we will never have another flashback, and moving into an attitude of accepting the inevitability of a modicum of flashbacks. This attitude then allows us to easily recognize and quickly respond to them from a position of self-compassion, self-soothing and self-protection.
How Did I Get Complex PTSD?
The genesis of complex PTSD is most often associated with extended periods of ongoing physical and/or sexual abuse in childhood. My observations however convince me that ongoing extremes of verbal and/or emotional abuse also cause it. Moreover as an upcoming article on my website will explicate, long-term childhood emotional neglect alone can also create complex PTSD and a propensity to emotional flashbacks.
This can perhaps best be understood by noting the conditions that prevailed as the human brain evolved during hunter-gatherer times, which represents 99.8% of our time on this planet. Children’s vulnerability to predators caused them to evolve an intense, instinctual fear response to being left alone without protection. Fear became the child’s hard-wired response to separation from a protective adult, and linked automatically to the fight response so that the infant and toddler would automatically cry angrily for attention, help, cessation of abandonment - even at the briefest loss of contact with parental figures. Beasts of prey only needed seconds to snatch away the unprotected child.
In present time dysfunctional families, many parents disdain children for needing so much attention from them, and react contemptuously to a baby or toddler’s plaintive call for connection and attachment. Contempt can sometimes be more traumatizing than physical abuse. It is a toxic cocktail of verbal and emotional abuse, a deadly amalgam of rage and disgust. Rage creates fear and disgust creates shame in the child in a way that soon teaches her to refrain from crying out, from ever asking for attention, and before long from seeking any kind of help or connection at all. Particularly abusive parents deepen the abandonment trauma by linking corporal punishment with contempt.
Moreover, as stated above, complex PTSD can also be caused by emotional neglect alone; (emotional neglect also typically occurs in most situations of prolonged contempt and physical abuse). Parents who systematically ignore or turn their backs on a child’s calls for attention, connection or help, abandon their child to unmanageable amounts of fear which over time devolve into the child giving up and succumbing to depressed, death-like feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. These types of rejection simultaneously magnify the child’s fear, and eventually add a veneer of shame to it. Over time this fear and shame cancerously begets a toxic inner critic that increasingly dominates the psyche with programs of endangerment and self-disgust (perfectionism), until a full blown case of PTSD is established. (See my articles on The Inner and Outer Critic).
Moreover, to the duration and degree that emotional abandonment takes place and to the degree that there is no alternative adult (relative, older sibling, neighbor, teacher) to turn to for comfort and protection, to that degree does the PTSD set in, and to that degree can a myriad of triggers (external or internal) activate the individual into flashing back into the painful emotional and toxic cognitive conditions of childhood. This is especially true when the abandonment occurs 24/7, 365 days a year for the first few years.
How do I know I am in a Flashback?
We can often find ourselves in a flashback without ever having seen the “flash”. There are a variety of clues that we can learn to identify as signs that we are caught in a flashback. This is essential to recovery, as naming our experience “flashback” (step#1 in flashback management) often immediately brings some relief, and more importantly point us in the direction of working the other 12 steps of flashback management (listed on the flashback management page of this website).
One common clue that we are in a flashback occurs when we notice that we feel small, helpless, hopeless and so ashamed that we are loath to go out or show our face anywhere.
Another common clue that we are flashing back is an increase in the virulence of the inner or outer critic. This typically looks like increased drasticizing and catastrophizing, as well as excessive self-criticism or judgementalness of others. A very common example of this is lapsing into extremely polarized, all-or-none thinking – and most especially into only noticing what is wrong with yourself and/or others. On a personal level, I have learned over the years that when I am feeling especially critical of others, it usually means that I am feeling bad and have flashed back to being around my mother who hated any dip in my mood or energy level lest I be less useful and entertaining to her. During such flashbacks then, I am self-protectively over-noticing other’s faults so I can justify avoiding them and the danger and shame of being seen in a state of not being shiny enough. See my articles on “Shrinking the Critic” for more info on how to recognize the various critic attacks that accompany as well as initiate flashbacks.
Another clue about flashbacks is seen in increased activation of the fight, flight, freeze or fawn responses (see my article on “A Trauma Typology”). Here are some examples of this. Many childhood trauma survivors learned early in life to manage and self-medicate the painful feelings of flashbacks with distracting activities and self-medicating substances - flight and freeze responses, respectively. Over time flight and freeze responses can become habitual. Flight types can devolve into distracting process addictions, and freeze types into “tuning out” substance addictions. The former can morph into workaholism, busyholism, consumerism, or sex &love addiction, and the latter into drinking, drugging, TV entrancement and compulsive eating (especially mood-altering junk foods that contain high quantities of salt, sugar and fat). Addiction for many survivors is a matter of degree, and an especially strong urge to use more substance or process than normal is a powerful clue that one is in a flashback. With practice, mindfully noticing a sudden upsurge in craving can be interpreted as the need to invoke the 13 steps of healthy flashback management.
Another clue that we are in a flashback occurs when we notice that our emotional reactions are out of proportion to what has triggered them, e.g., when a minor, present time upset feels like an emergency or when a minor unfairness feels like a travesty of justice; e.g., a spilled glass of water triggers an incessant diatribe of self-hate, or someone else’s relatively harmless, un-signaled lane change triggers us into rage. If we are not mindful at such times, we can either inappropriately act these feelings out against the relatively innocent other, or we can let them morph into shame and act them in against ourselves in self-disgust or self-hatred. If on the other hand we mindfully recognize them as flashbacks to the way we felt about the real emergencies and injustices of parental abuse and abandonment, we can be empowered not only to invoke healthy flashback management techniques, but also to harvest the experience as an opportunity to validate the awfulness of our childhood plight. When we do the latter, we can assign and direct our anger into a self-protective protest about the unfair past, and our tears into self-compassionate crying for the plight of the child we were. Finally, it cannot be stressed enough that it takes a great deal of practicing both of these responses to heal the developmental arrest of being blocked from our all important instincts of self-protection and self-compassion.
What is a trigger?
A trigger is an external or internal stimulus that activates us into an emotional flashback. This often occurs on a subliminal level outside the boundaries of normal consciousness, and is why recognizing flashbacks is both difficult but crucially important. External triggers are people, places, things, events, facial expressions, styles of communication, etc., that remind us of our original abuse or abandonment in a way that launches us into reliving the painful feelings of those times; e.g., revisiting your parents or childhood home, seeing someone who resembles your childhood abuser, experiencing the anniversary of an especially traumatic event, or hearing someone use a parent’s shaming turn of phrase. When trauma has been severe or we are in an especially depleted state, resemblances can even be scant – perhaps all unknown men or authority figures trigger fear, or anyone noticing or looking at us triggers toxic shame. I was once intensely triggered by a squirrel staring at me!
Internal triggers are usually initiated by the critic and involve thoughts and visualizations about endangerment or the need for perfection; e.g., visualizing someone being abusive, or worrying about not being perfect in executing some current or upcoming task. As recovery progresses, many survivors are shocked to discover that the majority of their flashbacks are triggered internally by the various internal programs of the inner critic.
With ongoing recovery, we can become more cognizant of our triggers, and work more quickly to work through incidents of being triggered into a flashback, or even recognize potentially triggering situations and prophylactically invoke the flashback management steps before we get activated.
What is the Abandonment Depression?
The Abandonment Melange [means mixture or multiples]?
The Abandonment Depression is the complex painful childhood experience that is reconstituted in an emotional flashback. It is a return to the sense of overwhelm, hopelessness and helplessness that afflicts the abused and /or emotionally abandoned child. At the core of the abandonment depression is the abandonment melange – the terrible emotional mix of fear and shame that coalesces around the deathlike feelings of depression that afflict an abandoned child. Surrounding the abandonment melange of the flashback are perfectionistic and endangerment cognitions and visualizations of the toxic inner and outer critic (See my articles on the critic), and at the surface is the self-destructive enactments of the fight, flight, freeze or fawn responses (See “A Trauma Typology”).
In a typical flashback, an individual is recapitulated into the original experience of abandonment. Fear is immediately triggered and soon produces shameful feelings of self-hate. This self-hate is a self-rejection that mimics parental rejection and that is equivalent to self-abandonment. Self-abandonment in turn deepens the abandonment depression and creates an even more fearful state, which in turn generates even more shame about the fear, which triggers increasingly depressing self-abandonment. This process then becomes a self-perpetuating, perpetual motion cycle that can spiral around and around in a despairingly painful descent that at its worst culminates in feelings of panic and suicidal ideation. During particularly extreme flashbacks, more than a few of my clients have uttered things that sound like this: “Life is so hopelessly depressing, I might as well be dead. Take me now God, why don’t you!” (See Managing The Abandonment Depression” for practical guidance on how to respond therapeutically to the abandonment melange.)” Link here: https://www.pete-walker./fAQsComplexPTSD.html#Abandonment
We learned of it from The Crappy Childhood Fairy, Anna Runkle. Smart Lady
Heard it from her first and have read and listened to Pete Walker extensively. However, maybe if we’d heard it before we weren’t ready and therefore weren’t ready to accept it.
That is how it works. Our elementary brains (in some areas) need further development until it can understand greater concepts.
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
May 29, 2023
Barbara Unković interview with David Alan Binder
Barbara is a freelance proofreader, copy-editor, manuscript assessor and author.
Books include The Adriatic kitchen, Eaten by the Night, Croatia Blue, The Ship of Death and more.
Additionally, she is a multi-award-winning author with forty writing awards in the USA, UK, Ireland and Finland.
www.barbaraunkovic.com
Master of Creative Writing with (Hons) University of Auckland New Zealand
Member CIEP (Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading UK)
Certificate of Copy-editing and Proofreading NZ Writer's College
Member NZ Society of Authors
Member UK Society of Authors
Where are you currently living?
Portugal, but it’s not permanent. I was born in New Zealand, but that will not be my next destination. I am of Croatian and English heritage.
What is the most important thing that you have learned in your writing experience, so far?
The importance of having your work assessed and copy-edited by a professional. As well as being an author, I am also an experienced, qualified copy editor, proofreader and manuscript assessor. Regardless I still need an independent qualified editor for these tasks. It is impossible to edit your own work.
What would you say is your most interesting writing, publishing, editing or illustrating quirk?
My ability to write in different genres — non-fiction, fiction, memoir, short fiction, flash fiction, literary fiction and a recipe book called The Adriatic Kitchen. Here are links to three of my books which are all different:
https://www.amazon.com/Croatia-Blue-journey-paternal-
Kor%C4%8Dula/dp/B093RS7KVD/?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=7ZhSS&content-
id=amzn1.sym.5724bc92-619d-4597-ac96-996c3c19e6c4&pf_rd_p=5724bc92-619d-4597-ac96-996c3c19e6c4&pf_rd_r=XHWEY5RSFK4YMHCSV610&pd_rd_wg=H0nZY&pd_rd_r=17904802-fd76-4494-8522-cabc895065e2&ref_=pd_gw_ci_mcx_mr_hp_atf_m
https://www.amazon.com/Eaten-Night-unforgettable-tale-Yugoslavia-
ebook/dp/B09N9SR76H/ref=sr_1_3?qid=1685107866&refinements=p_27%3ABarbara+Unkovi%C4%87&s=books&sr=1-3&text=Barbara+Unkovi%C4%87
https://www.amazon.com/Ship-Death-lifelong-struggle-sexuality-ebook/dp/B0BB9XW5RT/ref=sr_1_5?qid=1685107915&refinements=p_27%3ABarbara+Unkovi%C4%87&s=digital-text&sr=1-5&text=Barbara+Unkovi%C4%87
Tell us your insights on self-publish or use a publisher?
I am a bit like William Boyd. I have had bad experiences with publishers and have been ripped off by them. One committed suicide and took the royalties for three of my books with her to her grave and the other one appointed an agent to collect payment for my books at a book event. She told the publisher that no books sold when in fact forty sold and she kept the money. It took me a year to get my royalties and, needless to say, she lost her job.
Who is the name of your publisher and in what city are they located?
I use only one publisher at present and I would not recommend him; my other titles are self-published and all available on Amazon worldwide on kindle, paperback and two are available in hardback and have photos — these are non-fiction memoirs — Croatia Blue and Only in Africa.
Do you have any secret tips for writers on getting a book published?
No! You either have it or you don’t. I am lucky, I believe my writing ability is inherited. I am a cousin to DH Lawrence. My great grandfather on my English side, obviously, and DH’s mother were siblings.
How did you or would you suggest acquiring an agent? Any tips for new writers on getting one?
Make sure your manuscript and synopsis are the best they can be. Take whatever advice your
professional editor gives you; this includes getting your editor to check your submission letter.
Do you have any suggestions or helps or tips for new writers (please be so specific that this most likely will not have been seen elsewhere)?
Take some writing courses to improve your skills. I have a Master of Creative Writing with honours from Auckland University in New Zealand.
Work with a qualified editor once you have completed your first draft. This is an unregulated industry and many people who are unqualified and do not have English as there first language masquerade as editors. You can check out my qualifications on the Proof-editing Services page of my website
www.barbaraunkovic.com
How many books have you written?
Fourteen and I am in the process of writing number fifteen. It’s fiction and the working title is All Cats are Grey in the Dark.
Do you have any tricks or tips to help others become a better writer (please be so specific that this most likely will not have been seen elsewhere)?
Go over your draft at least four times before seeking the assistance of a qualified editor, and take the advice they offer you, even if it means making major changes to your manuscript.
Do you have any suggestions for providing twists in a good story?
No. All I can say is that dramatic moments work better if you use short sentences. This heightens the tension.
What makes your or any book stand out from the crowd?
The title, which must appear in the book, and can appear more than once, and, of course, the cover. That said the book must be well-written and hook the reader within the first few pages.
What is one unusual way in which you promote your work?
I promote through all the usual methods. I don’t have any point of difference here.
What is the one thing you would do differently now and why?
There isn’t one. I am perfectly happy with these aspects.
What saying or mantra do you live by?
“If it is to be; it is up to me”.
Anything else you would like to say?
Yes, I enjoy helping new writers develop. Recently I worked with a fourteen-year-old girl with immense talent, and it was extremely satisfying to see her work progress and evolve.
May 27, 2023
WOW, relationships are so complicated!
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder
We are now estranged from four different family members and one I would designate as very strained and uncertain.
Unbelievable!
The why is not important nor are the details worth outlining to show our side of it.
What is important to you is that all the videos, books, therapy (both joint with one child and for each of us singley), plus the practice and talking through it in our heads and outloud with each other did not change anything for them.
It changes us.
It is traumatic for sure but we have set our boundaries where we had little. We have cussed and discussed the situation in depth. We have cried our hearts out.
Personally I have just identified that I also have gone through a new thing I’ve learned about that is called “abandonment melange”. If you’d like to learn more then link to Pete Walker here is the small article he has on that:
“
Frequently Asked Questions About Complex PTSD
What may I have been misdiagnosed with?
What are the signs that I’m recovering?
How Did I Get Complex PTSD?;
How do I know I am in a Flashback?
What is a trigger?
What is the Abandonment Depression? The Abandonment Melange?
Why does it take so long to actually get that you’re recovering?
Why do you specialize in Complex PTSD?
Written by Pete Walker
What may I have been misdiagnosed with?
Renowned traumatologist, John Briere, is said to have quipped that if Complex PTSD were ever given its due – that is, if the role of dysfunctional parenting in adult psychological disorders was ever fully recognized, the DSM (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders used by all mental health professionals) would shrink to the size of a thin pamphlet. It currently resembles a large dictionary. In my experience, many clients with Complex PTSD have been misdiagnosed with various anxiety and depressive disorders, as well as bipolar, narcissistic, codependent and borderline disorders. Further confusion arises in the case of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder), as well as obsessive/compulsive disorder, which is sometimes more accurately described as an excessive, fixated flight response to trauma. This is also true of ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and some dissociative disorders which are similarly excessive, fixated freeze responses to trauma. (See my article “A Trauma Typology”.)
This is not to say that those so diagnosed do not have issues that are similar and correlative with said disorders, but that these labels are incomplete and unnecessarily shaming descriptions of what the client is afflicted with. Calling complex PTSD “panic disorder” is like calling food allergies chronically itchy eyes; over-focusing treatment on the symptoms of panic in the former case and eye health in the latter does little to get at root causes. Feelings of panic or itchiness in the eyes can be masked with medication, but all the other associated problems that cause these symptoms will remain untreated. Moreover most of the diagnoses mentioned above imply deep innate characterological defects rather than the learned maladaptations to stress that children of trauma are forced to make– adaptations, once again that were learned and can therefore usually be extinguished and replaced with more functional adaptations to stress.
In this vein, I believe that many substance and process addictions also begin as misguided, maladaptations to parental abuse and abandonment – early adaptations that are attempts to soothe and distract from the mental and emotional pain of complex PTSD.
What are the signs that I’m recovering?
Effective recovery work leads to an ongoing gradual reduction of emotional flashbacks. Over time we become more and more proficient at managing them and alleviating unnecessary states of activation; this in turn results in flashbacks occurring less often, less enduringly and less intensely.
Another key sign of recovering is that the critic begins to shrink and lose its dominance of the psyche. As it shrinks, the user-friendly ego has room to grow and to develop the kind of mindfulness that more readily recognizes when the critic has taken over, which in turn allows us to more readily disidentify form or fight against its perfectionistic and drasticizing processes.
Another sign of recovering occurs as a gradual increase in our ability to relax - to resist overreacting from a triggered position, i.e., from an inappropriate fight, flight, freeze or fawn response; (See my article: “A Trauma Typology”). Moreover, there is an increase in our ability to use our fight, flight, freeze and fawn instincts in healthy non-self-destructive ways, so that we only fight back when under real attack, only flee when odds are insurmountable, only freeze when we need to go into acute observer mode, only fawn when it is appropriate to be self-sacrificing. Another way of describing this is that we have good balance between the polar opposites of fight and flight, i.e., we can vacillate healthily between asserting our own needs and compromisingly acquiescing to the needs of others. Moreover we can balance the polar opposites of flight and freeze, which in their moderate manifestations looks like a balance between doing and being, between sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system arousal, between left and right brain processing.
Advanced recovery correlates with letting go the salvation fantasy that we will never have another flashback, and moving into an attitude of accepting the inevitability of a modicum of flashbacks. This attitude then allows us to easily recognize and quickly respond to them from a position of self-compassion, self-soothing and self-protection.
How Did I Get Complex PTSD?
The genesis of complex PTSD is most often associated with extended periods of ongoing physical and/or sexual abuse in childhood. My observations however convince me that ongoing extremes of verbal and/or emotional abuse also cause it. Moreover as an upcoming article on my website will explicate, long-term childhood emotional neglect alone can also create complex PTSD and a propensity to emotional flashbacks.
This can perhaps best be understood by noting the conditions that prevailed as the human brain evolved during hunter-gatherer times, which represents 99.8% of our time on this planet. Children’s vulnerability to predators caused them to evolve an intense, instinctual fear response to being left alone without protection. Fear became the child’s hard-wired response to separation from a protective adult, and linked automatically to the fight response so that the infant and toddler would automatically cry angrily for attention, help, cessation of abandonment - even at the briefest loss of contact with parental figures. Beasts of prey only needed seconds to snatch away the unprotected child.
In present time dysfunctional families, many parents disdain children for needing so much attention from them, and react contemptuously to a baby or toddler’s plaintive call for connection and attachment. Contempt can sometimes be more traumatizing than physical abuse. It is a toxic cocktail of verbal and emotional abuse, a deadly amalgam of rage and disgust. Rage creates fear and disgust creates shame in the child in a way that soon teaches her to refrain from crying out, from ever asking for attention, and before long from seeking any kind of help or connection at all. Particularly abusive parents deepen the abandonment trauma by linking corporal punishment with contempt.
Moreover, as stated above, complex PTSD can also be caused by emotional neglect alone; (emotional neglect also typically occurs in most situations of prolonged contempt and physical abuse). Parents who systematically ignore or turn their backs on a child’s calls for attention, connection or help, abandon their child to unmanageable amounts of fear which over time devolve into the child giving up and succumbing to depressed, death-like feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. These types of rejection simultaneously magnify the child’s fear, and eventually add a veneer of shame to it. Over time this fear and shame cancerously begets a toxic inner critic that increasingly dominates the psyche with programs of endangerment and self-disgust (perfectionism), until a full blown case of PTSD is established. (See my articles on The Inner and Outer Critic).
Moreover, to the duration and degree that emotional abandonment takes place and to the degree that there is no alternative adult (relative, older sibling, neighbor, teacher) to turn to for comfort and protection, to that degree does the PTSD set in, and to that degree can a myriad of triggers (external or internal) activate the individual into flashing back into the painful emotional and toxic cognitive conditions of childhood. This is especially true when the abandonment occurs 24/7, 365 days a year for the first few years.
How do I know I am in a Flashback?
We can often find ourselves in a flashback without ever having seen the “flash”. There are a variety of clues that we can learn to identify as signs that we are caught in a flashback. This is essential to recovery, as naming our experience “flashback” (step#1 in flashback management) often immediately brings some relief, and more importantly point us in the direction of working the other 12 steps of flashback management (listed on the flashback management page of this website).
One common clue that we are in a flashback occurs when we notice that we feel small, helpless, hopeless and so ashamed that we are loath to go out or show our face anywhere.
Another common clue that we are flashing back is an increase in the virulence of the inner or outer critic. This typically looks like increased drasticizing and catastrophizing, as well as excessive self-criticism or judgementalness of others. A very common example of this is lapsing into extremely polarized, all-or-none thinking – and most especially into only noticing what is wrong with yourself and/or others. On a personal level, I have learned over the years that when I am feeling especially critical of others, it usually means that I am feeling bad and have flashed back to being around my mother who hated any dip in my mood or energy level lest I be less useful and entertaining to her. During such flashbacks then, I am self-protectively over-noticing other’s faults so I can justify avoiding them and the danger and shame of being seen in a state of not being shiny enough. See my articles on “Shrinking the Critic” for more info on how to recognize the various critic attacks that accompany as well as initiate flashbacks.
Another clue about flashbacks is seen in increased activation of the fight, flight, freeze or fawn responses (see my article on “A Trauma Typology”). Here are some examples of this. Many childhood trauma survivors learned early in life to manage and self-medicate the painful feelings of flashbacks with distracting activities and self-medicating substances - flight and freeze responses, respectively. Over time flight and freeze responses can become habitual. Flight types can devolve into distracting process addictions, and freeze types into “tuning out” substance addictions. The former can morph into workaholism, busyholism, consumerism, or sex &love addiction, and the latter into drinking, drugging, TV entrancement and compulsive eating (especially mood-altering junk foods that contain high quantities of salt, sugar and fat). Addiction for many survivors is a matter of degree, and an especially strong urge to use more substance or process than normal is a powerful clue that one is in a flashback. With practice, mindfully noticing a sudden upsurge in craving can be interpreted as the need to invoke the 13 steps of healthy flashback management.
Another clue that we are in a flashback occurs when we notice that our emotional reactions are out of proportion to what has triggered them, e.g., when a minor, present time upset feels like an emergency or when a minor unfairness feels like a travesty of justice; e.g., a spilled glass of water triggers an incessant diatribe of self-hate, or someone else’s relatively harmless, un-signaled lane change triggers us into rage. If we are not mindful at such times, we can either inappropriately act these feelings out against the relatively innocent other, or we can let them morph into shame and act them in against ourselves in self-disgust or self-hatred. If on the other hand we mindfully recognize them as flashbacks to the way we felt about the real emergencies and injustices of parental abuse and abandonment, we can be empowered not only to invoke healthy flashback management techniques, but also to harvest the experience as an opportunity to validate the awfulness of our childhood plight. When we do the latter, we can assign and direct our anger into a self-protective protest about the unfair past, and our tears into self-compassionate crying for the plight of the child we were. Finally, it cannot be stressed enough that it takes a great deal of practicing both of these responses to heal the developmental arrest of being blocked from our all important instincts of self-protection and self-compassion.
What is a trigger?
A trigger is an external or internal stimulus that activates us into an emotional flashback. This often occurs on a subliminal level outside the boundaries of normal consciousness, and is why recognizing flashbacks is both difficult but crucially important. External triggers are people, places, things, events, facial expressions, styles of communication, etc., that remind us of our original abuse or abandonment in a way that launches us into reliving the painful feelings of those times; e.g., revisiting your parents or childhood home, seeing someone who resembles your childhood abuser, experiencing the anniversary of an especially traumatic event, or hearing someone use a parent’s shaming turn of phrase. When trauma has been severe or we are in an especially depleted state, resemblances can even be scant – perhaps all unknown men or authority figures trigger fear, or anyone noticing or looking at us triggers toxic shame. I was once intensely triggered by a squirrel staring at me!
Internal triggers are usually initiated by the critic and involve thoughts and visualizations about endangerment or the need for perfection; e.g., visualizing someone being abusive, or worrying about not being perfect in executing some current or upcoming task. As recovery progresses, many survivors are shocked to discover that the majority of their flashbacks are triggered internally by the various internal programs of the inner critic.
With ongoing recovery, we can become more cognizant of our triggers, and work more quickly to work through incidents of being triggered into a flashback, or even recognize potentially triggering situations and prophylactically invoke the flashback management steps before we get activated.
What is the Abandonment Depression?
The Abandonment Melange [means mixture or multiples]?
The Abandonment Depression is the complex painful childhood experience that is reconstituted in an emotional flashback. It is a return to the sense of overwhelm, hopelessness and helplessness that afflicts the abused and /or emotionally abandoned child. At the core of the abandonment depression is the abandonment melange – the terrible emotional mix of fear and shame that coalesces around the deathlike feelings of depression that afflict an abandoned child. Surrounding the abandonment melange of the flashback are perfectionistic and endangerment cognitions and visualizations of the toxic inner and outer critic (See my articles on the critic), and at the surface is the self-destructive enactments of the fight, flight, freeze or fawn responses (See “A Trauma Typology”).
In a typical flashback, an individual is recapitulated into the original experience of abandonment. Fear is immediately triggered and soon produces shameful feelings of self-hate. This self-hate is a self-rejection that mimics parental rejection and that is equivalent to self-abandonment. Self-abandonment in turn deepens the abandonment depression and creates an even more fearful state, which in turn generates even more shame about the fear, which triggers increasingly depressing self-abandonment. This process then becomes a self-perpetuating, perpetual motion cycle that can spiral around and around in a despairingly painful descent that at its worst culminates in feelings of panic and suicidal ideation. During particularly extreme flashbacks, more than a few of my clients have uttered things that sound like this: “Life is so hopelessly depressing, I might as well be dead. Take me now God, why don’t you!” (See Managing The Abandonment Depression” for practical guidance on how to respond therapeutically to the abandonment melange.)” Link here: https://www.pete-walker./fAQsComplexPTSD.html#Abandonment
We learned of it from The Crappy Childhood Fairy, Anna Runkle. Smart Lady
Heard it from her first and have read and listened to Pete Walker extensively. However, maybe if we’d heard it before we weren’t ready and therefore weren’t ready to accept it.
That is how it works. Our elementary brains (in some areas) need further development until it can understand greater concepts.
What’s your story?
Please invest in my new book:
Any love may be sent through PayPal to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com
All angels appreciated!
May 25, 2023
What the heck is a Samp Mill?
A Think Piece by David Alan Binder