Generally or Specifically

posted Nov 12, 2017, 11:12 AM by David Alan Binder
Generally or Specifically

How do you communicate?  Do you try to offend, do you try to be diplomatic, do you try to be equitable, or is everything a negotiation.

In negotiation, do you try for a win-win which I think is seeing the middle ground even if it is not one you prefer but one you can live with.  The other side has the same issues and biases and are trying to meet their needs.  What if you can meet both of your needs with a little twist on the outcome for both of you, is it worth it?

Or do you approach negotiations with only a win-lose mentality, you or your side have to win at all expenses or there is not deal?

Or do you think to yourself, I never get what I want, if so, then you may be already determining that you'd accept a lose-win due to your pre-thinking.

Of course, if both sides who feel that if they do not get everything they want then they will get a lose-lose, which is the worse case scenario.

The approach you use in life often determines your outcome before you even get into a negotiation.  That type of pre-thinking and how you approach life predetermines your destiny simply because of your approach.

If you honestly look at an argument, issues, or some scope of the negotiation with an open mind, that helps you to avoid pitfalls.  Look for ways for both sides to win a little, or lose a little then both sides can feel good about the negotiation.

That brings us back to generally or specifically the title of this article.  If you are generally specific or specifically general then either may be a little too general.  Being specific means that you have your likes and your wants and are determined to get them but being general enough to accept things that may not be entirely what you'd like.

Speaking and writing bring with them responsibility to communicate.  Communicating specifically brings out feelings and aspirations and communicates exactly what you are thinking and those feelings will come across.  Being too  vague or general can leave people without knowing exactly what is going on, or how you feel about a subject.

Of  course, generally works very well for politics and religion discussions; simply because these are very strong topics and people can be very opinionated and pushing too hard for their agenda and argument and can lead to fights or a very frustrating communication.  In this case, not pushing too hard and getting a feel for how the other thinks can help you to avoid situations that could unravel and go in a direction that is not healthy.  Getting bent out of shape and trying to steam roller someone into thinking like you can destroy family or friend connections.  

This is another thinking piece by David Alan Binder.  If any of you Dear Writers and Dear Readers, have something to say on this or other subjects that have been written, then please weigh in via email.  Thanks


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