097 - Chapter 97

(Illustration: Rose Ayling-Ellis and Giovanni Pernice: Photograph by Guy Levy/BBC/PA)

A special moment occurred in the final of the 2021‘Strictly Come Dancing’ final. We were  presented with two very worthy winners:- Rose Ailing-Ellis, an actress deaf from birth, and her partner Giovanni Pernice. Included in one of their routines was their famous ten second ‘silent moment’ which mesmerised us all. That pause was so unlike anything we’d witnessed before, and that perfect silence gave viewers a chance to experience Rose’s silent world, almost hear her story, if just for those few seconds!

Another beautiful moment occurred at our Christmas Carol Service at church, which was held out of doors that year, so everyone could keep their distance. A young girl from our neighbourhood called Lila sang so movingly ‘Oh Holy Night’ by the lights of the Christmas tree by an open door. It was quite magical, and again a beautiful moment.

I also recall a heart-stopping moment that year involving two friends of ours, Avril and Ramsey, who’d been travelling home on part of the A1(M) and M1 at Leeds, following a Christmas holiday with their family, and they told us about a car which had come straight at them on their side of the road, narrowly missing them! That same driver was the cause of a crash right behind them, presumably with fatalities. By sheer coincidence our son Stephen with Dionne, Luke and Katie, were also homeward bound, a short distance behind this incident, but seeing a traffic warning, they managed to take a diversion. Also, among the traffic held up in that same incident, my sister and brother-in-law were held up for six hours, until the road was cleared, as they too were travelling home in that same northerly direction.

Isn’t it strange how a few seconds of time can make such a difference and sometimes change people’s lives so drastically?

It doesn’t bear thinking about!

An old friend of ours passed away around that time too. Father Peter Heywood, formerly priest in charge at St Luke’s Church Wallsend. He died in the January. We had known him in our time at St Luke’s from 1974 on. Because of his stand against the ‘Movement for the Ordination of Women’, he had switched his allegiance to the Roman Catholic church, and became known as Peter Heywood, not Father. Other priests and bishops, made that same move for the same reasons, and were re-ordained and re-educated in seminary. They were routinely accepted, despite the ruling that Roman Catholic priests should be celibate, and some happened to be married.

We all have different opinions. We all make choices we think are right, and the gift we can give one another is to honour and respect each other’s decisions, even if we disagree with them, but the one thing we should do more often as Christians is to discuss our views more openly and honestly, without fear of accusation or insult. 

Not everyone feels comfortable airing their beliefs, lest they hurt or offend someone with their words, and so they keep them to themselves!

That same year 2022, the Church of England encouraged its members to discuss issues on ‘human sexuality’ through a special course, entitled ‘Living in Love and Faith.’ The Lambeth conference (August 2022) recommended discussing the matter with each other in love, with empathy and understanding, and with great sensitivity.

I signed up for the course on Zoom, and found the videos really interesting and thought provoking. Our feedback was required about LGBTI+ issues and same sex marriage.

Why, I wondered has it taken so long to discuss this topic in church, or even hear our clergy preach on it? Why indeed hadn’t I?

I was however, invited to speak at a Muslim gathering, around that time, and was open to questions at the end of my talk. The very first question I was asked was, “Why does your church ‘promote’ homosexuality?” I replied that ‘promote’ was the wrong word to use, and that I thought that the church was seeking to understand what God is saying to us today about issues surrounding human sexuality, taking the Bible as a whole, and not just selected scriptures.

I can honestly say that I’ve only heard one sermon ever, in my entire life on this subject! This was in an evangelical church with strict views, rather like my own views have been over the years, where to alter scripture in any way is very much frowned upon. Such Christians quote:

'For verily I say unto you, till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one title shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. '(Matthew 5.18)

There is a genuine fear and apprehension around about ‘altering scripture’, and some Christians have a real  horror of those who preach what they consider is a different gospel thus leading other astray! But we have to consider the question: 'What if human interpretation of scripture has taken words out of context?'

Many Bible verses connected with homosexuality, were actually to do with promiscuity, rape, temple prostitution, or rules laid down which to preserve and ensure future generations of offspring. The one scripture which has caused the most controversy on both sides of the debate is about people giving up their natural natures and doing things that are not natural, in the ‘last times’. This can be found in Romans chapter 1. But it is argued that if one’s attraction to a same sex relationship really IS their natural orientation, why should they give it up?

Only seven or eight of us from our church signed up for the course though, and that was really disappointing, as I think we should all have been made aware of this most relevant issue, and if not on this course, then by some other method. 

With so few participating, how could our feedback to our bishops reflect the true opinions of the whole congregation?

To be quite honest, I personally felt that the content of the course did not manage to reflect views of the evangelical wing of the church or even the views of the African Anglican bishops; and yet some liberals felt quite the opposite, that it was weighted more towards the traditional view.

I have already been very honest about my own response when two friends opened up to me, many years ago about being gay. I was very straightforward with them then, about what I believed the Bible said on the subject, in much the same way as when I opposed my sister’s calling to the priesthood, because she was a woman, not a man. I felt at the time that I could not allow someone to take their scissors to the Bible. But since then, I’ve thought so much more about this topic, and the conclusions I ended up coming to are entirely my own, and not a result of this course. 

Firstly, I know four sets of same sex couples at present, who’ve known each other for years, and their commitment to one another is admirable; they are faithful couples and committed Christians. They love one another, pure and simple, they’ve supported one another through life’s trials, through Covid and various illnesses. They’re in no way promiscuous. Their marriage of minds and hearts probably surpasses many married heterosexual couples!

Who are we to say they are wrong? After all, in the Bible King David’s true love in life was a man, whose love surpassed that of women. (2 Samuel 1.26)

I have seen for myself how God has shaped the lives of these friends and blessed them, and others through them.

When Peter the apostle witnessed the power of the Holy Spirit fall on an ‘uncircumcised Gentile’ by the name of Cornelius, a Roman centurion, and also on all his household, he changed his mind on his church’s policy that only ‘circumcised’ people could be Christians! Peter saw for himself that God had blessed them in the same way, the disciples had been blessed at Pentecost!

He had some explaining to do before a committee of Jewish Christians later on, who were furious as to why he had baptised ‘unclean’ people, but this committee listened to his explanation and they  understood his actions. A ‘compromise’ was reached! The uncircumcised believers were told instead to ‘abstain from food polluted by idols, from sexual immorality, from the meat of strangled animals and from blood!’

A split in the church was avoided!

I must quickly add that Jesus did not condemn homosexuality! What he actually did speak against was ‘sexual immorality’ (Mark 7.21), such can be found in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships too. So perhaps Jesus was warning of the pitfalls, the pain and the hurts that go with loose living?

My second ‘take’ on this whole issue is to point to huge ‘barriers’ which have come tumbling down throughout the years, barriers which human opinion has set firmly in place, not based at all on the teachings of Jesus;  the first barrier, I’ve just mentioned between the circumcised Jew and the uncircumcised Gentile, but also other groups too:

St Paul outlined these groups in his letter to the church of Galatia: saying:

There is neither Jew nor Greek,

there is neither slave nor free,

there is neither male nor female;

for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Galatians 3.28

Do Christians believe this scripture or not?

Jesus preached, ‘If the Son shall make you free, you shall be free indeed!” but rich slave owners justified slavery by highlighting certain scriptures which suited their pockets and preserved their plantations. These scriptures were taken out of context, one of which advised slaves to be obedient to their masters, advice which had been given to those enslaved already in Roman times. This second barrier was eventually brought down in our country by abolitionists; William Wilberforce, Olaudah Equiano among them. The slave trade was abolished in England in 1807. That second barrier came down.

The suffrage movement too was instrumental in breaking down the third barrier, in order to give women equal voting rights. They began the fight, some unfortunately violently, for equality for women, with a motto which said, 'Deeds not words'! 

Which other barriers need to be dismantled, so that Christians can truly say ‘we are all one in Christ Jesus’?  

Did Jesus not love and embrace the ‘untouchables’ of the day the outcasts, the lepers, the tax collectors, prostitutes, preferring THEIR company to judgemental religious leaders who showed these outcasts no compassion or mercy with their rules and regulations?  

Did Jesus drive genuine ‘seekers’ of faith away or welcome them with open arms?

I make my my third point in the telling of a true and tragic story:

A young girl called Lizzie Lowe, only fourteen years old, once confided in her friends, that she thought she was a lesbian. She was also a Christian and she thought her church would not accept her anymore because she was gay. She was also worried about telling her parents. She didn’t need to worry as she was loved unconditionally by both, but in her fragile state, and keeping her worries to herself, she took her own life, writing a letter to say she was sorry! This rocked the entire community, and prompted her parents to back a radical transformation of their church. Leaders said their church was ‘open and welcoming’ before Lizzie’s death, back in September 2014, but they admit that ‘sexuality was not discussed for fear of stirring up a hornet’s nest’. Now, this church has adopted a policy of inclusion, welcoming everyone regardless of race, gender or sexuality.

This was a tragedy that could have been avoided.

Finally, I’d like to know how can our churches be more inclusive, and explore ways in which we might we reach out to LGBTI+ people who have been deeply wounded by rejection.

We will need to look with Jesus’ eyes and seek His truth, not the truth about the truth! Did he not come to save, rather than condemn, and to show us what God’s love is like; does this not sum up the whole truth?

If we want to know how we can do this, let’s imagine the person before us seeking love and affirmation is our own son or daughter, or our own grandson or granddaughter. If we can do this we should know the answer immediately!

Might God the Holy Spirt be calling us all to discuss in a peaceful manner, how best we go forward together, without driving a wedge between us to weaken our ranks and cause yet anther split?

Is there no ‘silent moment’ whereby we all may become still before God and simply listen to Him, and others with a story to tell, and seek God's opinion on this whole matter. . .rather like Rose Ayling Elis’s ‘silent moment’ in the telling of her story, and like little Lila’s song which she sang so clearly and innocently, moving our hearts?

What we certainly don’t want is a heart stopping moment, a loud clash or a clanging crash, which could change all our lives, and divide our church so drastically? 

Could both sides of this debate on human sexuality not do this? To walk together on this issue, like those early Jewish believers and their Gentile counterparts to find some common ground or compromise, which draws us all in as one in Christ? While we’re at it we might also wish to address why sexual sin seems top of the list of sins, when there are far worse sins of our own that we ought to confess?

At the time of writing this same-sex blessings will take centre stage at the Church of England's General Synod. Let us pray that wisdom, clarity, understanding and unity will prevail.