Oi be a Farmer

(Here St John 12.24 reads like the ‘Archers’ radio programme)

Farmer 1: Oi be a farmer oi be!……… an’ oi got some soil, an’ oi got a pot, an’ oi got a SEED!……… an oi’m gonna sit ‘ere and watch it GROW!!!!!!

(gets up, puts the pot on a table in front of him and waits with the seed in hand)

Farmer 2: An’ oi be a farmer too..oi be! An’ oi got some soil, an’ oi got a pot, an oi got a SEED, but oi got some WATER …….. an’ oi’m gonna sit ‘ere and watch it GROW!!!!!!!!!!

(gets up, puts his pot on the same table, holds onto the seed and waits)

Farmer 3: You’ll never guess what oi be…….. oi be a farmer too..oi be! An’ oi got some soil, an’ oi got a pot, an’ oi got a SEED, an’ oi got some WATER, but oi’ve got LIGHT……… an oi’m gonna sit ‘ere and watch it GROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(He does the same with his pot and seed. They sit and wait with eager anticipation - not one of them has actually placed the seed in the pot)

Child 1: Don’t you think you should put the seed into the pot?

Child 2: We’ve only little and even we know the seed has to die in the soil first, before it can grow!

Child 3: St John!

Child 1: Chapter twelve!

Child 2: Verse twenty four!

Child 3: Here endeth the lesson!

(The farmers all curl their lips at the children, put their seeds in the soil, and shuffle away, looking rather embarrassed).