Mean Jake

1 John 3. 18-19 ~ all talk and no go

Asks the question…'Are we all talk and no go?'

Four mean looking ‘critturs’ dressed like Al Capone, and speaking like John Wayne stand bragging in front of the audience. When Jake arrives from stage left or right he comes in carrying a violin case - but this character should be much younger and smaller than the others, which should look funny by contrast. At the end of the drama they follow Jake offstage like obedient puppies.

(said with tough expression and swaggering looks)

Number 1: Mean Jake is comin’ to town today, and if he does he’ll be sorry. I’ll grind him to dust, let him come if he must. But if he does he’ll be sorry.

Number 2: Mean Jake is comin’ to town today, and if he does he’ll be sorry. He’ll end up black and blue, I’ll break his body in two. If he comes he’ll be sorry.

Number 3: Mean Jake is comin’ to town today, and if he does he’ll be sorry. He thinks he’s tough, I’ll knock his block off.

Number 4: Mean Jake is comin’ to town today, and if he does he’ll be sorry. If he don’t bottle out, I’ll give him a clout. If he comes he’ll be sorry.

(Expressions now alter to surprise and mild panic as Mean Jake enters)

Number 1: Here he comes, it’s Jake! Didn’t think he’d come TODAY!!!

Number 2: He does look mean don’t he!

Number 3: Look out he’s heading this way!

Number 4: Howdy Jake, how ya doin’ old pal?

Number 3: We was just talkin’ bout ya!

Number 2: Haven’t seen ya round these parts for a while!

Number 1: Are ya plannin’ on staying long?

(All exit fussing over Jake)

Number 1: Fancy a milk shake Jake?