Radio Jerusalem (Update)
Jeremy Paximus :-Hello, from the broadcasting studio at Radio Jerusalem; this is Jeremy Paximus, with the lunchtime news.
A donkey and her foal went missing earlier today from the city centre of Jerusalem. Police are looking out for two men last seen heading towards Bethpage at dawn. The owner of the donkey was reported to have said that he thought the men had made an ass of him and if he caught up with them he would bray them..........
Eighty people were arrested this morning for vandalising trees, on the main approach road to the city, Branches were hacked off and leaves torn down by the crowds, Later the vandals were found trying to palm them off as flags and carpets for celebrations. But what a strange thing to do with trees! We’ll just waive that one!
The prophet Jesus of Nazareth, the famous itinerant preacher, rode into Jerusalem this morning on a donkey, (oh another story about a donkey!) He was followed by his faithful disciples. Seemingly the crowd went wild with excitement when they saw him. Earlier a small fire had broken out and someone had shouted to Annas, father-in-law of the High Priest, to get the water hose. The entire crowd joined in chanting, “Hose Annas! for they wanted to see Jesus, not smoke when he rode into the city. * (optional as it’s a bit corny)
The Roman city council are staging the last of the gladiator finals in the arena this evening, (once Health and Safety inspectors have examined the arena............... but just wait a second........ news is coming through.......of a big disturbance in the temple precincts!
We are taking you over right now to our reporter at the scene... Catos Adios.
Hello Catos, can you hear me, what news have you for us about the riot?
Catos Adios :- Well Jeremy- things have just about settled down now, but as you can see, we have doves flying all over the place, and many animals running wild around the temple , scurrying for their lives and knocking people over in the process.
The last fifteen minutes have been absolutely chaotic. The crowds here have been quite out of control , scrambling for coins, looting market stalls and generally throwing the temple into an uproar!
Jeremy Paximus :- What was it that started the riot in the first place Catos can you tell us?
Catos Adios :-Well it seems that Jesus , the prophet from Nazareth, lost his cool, got off his donkey and onto his high horse so to speak, and began upsetting the tables of the money- changers, and turning over the stalls of the dealers, and then he began to lash out at them all.
I have here beside me a witness to it all, a well respected money-changer called Marcus Spencius. Marcus, do tell us what you heard Jesus saying?
Marcus Spencius :-He called us robbers, said we’d turned his Father’s house into a den of thieves. Well that’s a lie. I’ve never been anywhere near his Dad’s house. Don’t even know the man.
Catos Adios :- Thank you Marcus, and here we have one of the temple guards, who was on duty today. Can you tell us anything about this incident?
Temple Guard :- It seems the culprit got away with it this time for some reason, but they’ll nail him next time, you mark my words.
Catos Adios:- Oh dear! This is Catos Adios, reporting from The Temple in Jerusalem for Radio Jerusalem. Back to you Jeremy in the studio.