Nuclear War ~ The Mister Men

Mr Tall and Mr Short battle it out

An assembly based on an old black and white motion picture I once saw with Laurel and Hardy. This is done using mime, and it would be wise to choose the school’s most talented actors if possible. Choose actors who can make others laugh. Prizes may be given afterwards i.e. a pack of sweets and as the actors walk away, having received the sweets it’s important to say to them…‘And watch you don’t drop the litter!’


Once upon a time there were two men who lived on opposite sides of a fence.

One was called Mr Tall, and the other was Mr Short. They didn’t particularly like each other, but never actually said so, but one day when they were both out in the garden, the wind lifted up and carried a piece of litter from Mr Short’s garden, right onto Mr Tall ‘s beautiful lawn.*

Mr Short did not realise what had happened, but what he did see was Mr Tall pick up the litter and throw it into HIS garden.*

Mr Short asked him what he was playing at, (it’s a good job this is a mime this morning, so that you can’t hear what he said to Mr Tall.*)

Mr Tall was so shocked at what he heard, he replied in the same manner*

Mr Short was so angry with what Mr Tall said, that he kicked the fence that lay between them.*

Mr Tall kicked it back.*

Mr Short picked up some soil and threw it at Mr Tall’s legs.*

Mr Tall wasn’t going to have that, so he got out his garden shears and cut away Mr Short’s prize sunflower which grew beside his side of the fence.*

(ad lib the rest with these actions)

Mr Short then took out his electric hedge cutter and utterly ruined Mr Tall’s rose bush *

So Mr Tall took revenge with his sledgehammer and smashed it into the fence, cutting off his own nose to spite his face, because this fence belonged to both of them.*

Mr Short got out his motorised lawn mower and drove it through the gap in the fence, right over Mr Tall’s best vegetables, and he crashed it into his shed.*

Mr T then reached for his airgun and aimed it at Mr Short’s pigeon loft and shot one of his pigeons.*

Mr Short was furious got out his old war rifle and quickly shot at Mr Tall’s head, and gave him a parting through his hair.*

Mr Tall took out his bazooka, aimed it at Mr Short’s house and demolished it with one shot.*

Mr Short tossed a hand grenade over onto the kerb, Mr Tall’s brand new car disintegrated.*

Mr Tall then fired a cruise missile from his launch pad, but unfortunately missed Mr Short, and it flew off in the direction of the Far East.

Mr Short flicked the lid off the Nuclear Bomb emergency button, and pressed down with all his might.

And that was the end of Mr Tall, but also Mr Short.

All because of a little piece of litter…something quite trivial and insignificant really.

Many faiths give us this one simple golden rule:-

Whatever you would hate done to you, don’t do to anyone else!

Love your neighbour as yourself!