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It’s my pleasure and privilege this morning to have been invited to conduct the wedding today of one of my former pupils…L, whom I taught 18 years ago, she was a pupil who was always full of the joys of life even then…
But it’s also a pleasure to be back in St Mary’s, a church in the Willington Team for this was where I served as a minister not all that long ago before moving on to do evangelism. I was very happy here and always received such a lovely welcome.
I know that many of you have fond memories of this place too. J, R’s mam was confirmed here, L was baptized here, and I believe M and M, L’s mam and dad and L’s brother N and his wife L were married here
L’s grandparents B and J (65 years )
Doesn’t time just fly?
So said one elderly couple celebrating their PLATINUM wedding on local radio.
The reporter who was covering the story did his very best to make the old man (who was very deaf) understand his questions.
‘Seventy years is a very long time!’ he shouted in the old man’s ear.
‘Have you ever in all that time contemplated divorce?
The old man thought about this for a few seconds, then replied…
‘Divorce? No I can’t say I have. Mind you, I’ve considered murder several times!’
Now as I was instructing Ryan and Linzy about marriage I had to put to them a rather similar question…
I said to them both, “How can you both convince me that this marriage will not end in divorce.
Quick as a flash R replied, with a smile, “L wouldn’t let’us!”
Fair enough! And we moved on!
Now before you think to yourselves that Linzy is going to be the B.O.S.S. in this marriage. Consider another question we discussed in our counselling sessions.
When asked , did they know the secret of a long and happy marriage…R became an authority on the subject, because he had actually read the answer, not all that long ago on a BBC News website. He said that the secret of a long and happy marriage is one with two dimensions;
a) the groom should be five years older than the bride, (which he is)
b) the bride should be more intelligent than the husband
He then turned to L and said, ‘You’ve already fulfilled ONE of the criteria. Now get yourself off to college!”
According to Psalm 85, verse 10, the two criteria there are quite different… and they’re not to do with age and intelligence R!
it says there
…that love and faithfulness must meet together!
…then the Lord will give what is good and the land will yield the harvest.
All of you here today who know R and L can see that these two already own love and faithfulness. You can see it in their eyes when they look at each other.
Love with faithfulness is the most powerful force for good in the world, and God planned it to be at the heart of the marriage relationship.
How good it is that both R and L have both had such wonderful role models as they grew up and witnessed the love and faithfulness of their own parents and grandparents. How blessed to have had such good foundations upon which to build their own future relationship.
It is said that marriage consists of a man, a woman and two servants. Not four but two people who have the deepest desire to make sure the other is happy and content, supported and fulfilled.
Both equally matched. Not one lording it over the other.
There’s an old Jewish saying…
The woman came out of a man's rib.
Not from his feet to be walked on.
Not from his head to be superior,
but from the side to be equal.
Under the arm to be protected, and
next to the heart to be loved."
Two people working as a team!
In marriage love ought to mature and grow steadily over the years. There needs to be a deep understanding of each other’s needs and desires, an understanding of each other’s strengths and weaknesses, making allowances, apologising and forgiving each other when the need arises.
Indeed, as the song goes, “Sorry seems to be the hardest word…and yet it should come effortlessly and sincerely. When it doesn’t, it’s damaging to a relationship.
When we want a marriage to work we have to put the effort in… and give not just take, it’s about making painful adjustments, it’s about honesty and truth and openness, it’s about real communication and friendship and laughter.
All these are off-shoots from those two main roots, of love and faithfulness, and when they are practised you do indeed end up with roots that have become so entwined that it is inconceivable they should ever be parted, rather like the reading A read to us before.
Marriage is about keeping the promises that are being made here today.
R and L are two pieces of a two piece jigsaw. It doesn’t take much working out when you’re in the same room as them.
Their different, but complementary gifts, characters, and personalities match so well.
L is the best looking girl that R has ever met!
He told me that she just has this effect on him, that brings him close to tears. (I’m not surprised, doesn’t she just look gorgeous today?)
But he also admires her because she is very caring, and has a strong commitment to family life. He believes he is a better person for having known her these last five years.I’m so different a man now because of her! He said to me.
Now come on girls, be honest. Wouldn’t you just love a man to say these things about you?
When I asked L about her feelings for R, she spoke of R’s superb sense of humour, his ready wit, and his easy going manner….
She painted a picture of a generous, big-hearted, strong and handsome …(well she didn’t say handsome straight away but she did say it later, when R reminded her that she’s missed that one out!) R is a man, whom L believes will love her unconditionally throughout her life, and be accepting and non – judgemental.
What more could a girl ask for especially when she returns from an expensive shopping trip in Newcastle?
I haven’t known R all that long… but I could add to L’s list another quality of R’s …humility!
When I first asked R what he so admired in L, the proud look on his face said it all:-
‘Generally ginger lads, don’t get the pretty girl,’ he said.
Humility is a very rare quality in today’s world. I’m sure all those who know R and love him see that gift too!
Now this gift might not be quite so apparent when you see him on a rugby field that’s if his brother G’s anything to go by! I was at a match once and heard him give somebody what for, VERBALLY. (Although I think there was a bit of PHYSICAL too) I was shocked and I do believe I told him off after the game! Can you remember that G?
But I really believe your dad S, would have been so proud of you today R, and with you G. You’ve both turned out to be fine lads!
Speaking of dads, I was very moved the other night at our wedding rehearsal, to see a dad so unwilling to let go of his daughter’s hand. But eventually he did, because it was R’s hand he was placing it into. It reminded me of Pride and Prejudice, where the heroine speaks so highly of the integrity and worth of her intended that the father says, ‘I couldn’t have parted with you Lizzie, to anyone less worthy’. This is true of R, is it not M?
For many people the most significant thing they’ll ever do, the most important investment they’ll ever make in life will be the building of a loving marriage and a family; and with R working in construction and L working in production and management of happy relationships, how can they go possibly go wrong.
Today they give themselves to each other completely; they surrender all that they are, all that they have to one another. The bible tells us that this is the kind of loving sacrifice Christ made for his church. There is no greater love than this.
In a book called Ecclesiastes 4.12, it says ‘A cord of three strands is not easily broken’ in other words knowing the presence of God in a marriage gives it an extra dimension, an added strength.
…therefore along with love and faithfulness, I wish R and L a deep and lasting faith in the living God who
Ø loves each one of us more than we could ever imagine
Ø who forgives us and helps us learn from our mistakes
Ø who lights the way into that vast unknown which lies ahead of us
Ø WHO NEVER WANTS TO LET US GO FROM HIM AND HIS PROTECTION OVER US.
R and L may God bless you both and forever keep you in His care. Amen.
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