Ahab and Elijah
In the style of the Jerry Springer show....
Crowd all chant: JERRY...JERRY...JERRY
Jerry:(To King Ahab who is seated on stage)
"We had a complaint from one of your subjects
Who sadly now is dead.
His property was stolen
Strange how you inherit it instead!"
King Ahab: (To Jerry)
"If you're accusing me of theft
You'll need some better proof,
Or perhaps a stronger witness
Brave enough to speak the truth."
Jerry:
"We have here a prophet named Elijah
He knows well what has transpired.
He knows enough, he knows you well,
He knows the thugs you hired."
King Ahab: (looking scared now, tried to laugh it all off)
"Elijah—how pleased you’ve come,
I’ve been in touch with Charlie Dimmock,
She’ll get my garden done.
I have no need of gimmicks
I’ll have a water fountain over here,
And a pond right over there.
I’ll have cherry trees and orange trees,
One apple and a pear.
I’ve great plans for my vineyard,
Off you go, but come back soon.
Then you won’t recognise my garden,
It’ll be the finest in Jezreel toon."
Elijah:
"You wicked fiend, you nasty man.
You evil little grot.
This was Naboth’s vineyard,
And you’ve gone and pinched his plot.
For this you’ll die, you little worm,
And dogs will lick your blood.
On this very spot where Naboth died
You’ll be ground into the mud!
And woe aswell to Jezebel
Surround yourselves in gloom
Woe to her and woe to you
for she too shares your doom!"
King Ahab:
"You've found me out my enemy
I repent, oh how I'll fast!
Better still I'll clothe myself
In sackcloth, dirt and ash!"
Jerry;
"And so we end on a positive note
King Ahab's hairy shirted!
And he is sorry for his sin.
Disaster's been averted...for now!"