Luke 12.16-21

...in the style of comedian Catherine Tate. This is an update of a previous drama on the Parable of the Rich Fool, called 'Only me', which can be found above in ‘Harry Enfield’ style.

Narr: A man once complained to Jesus, because he had missed out on part of an inheritance, which he felt ought to have been shared, instead of being given solely to his brother. Jesus replied that life was not all about the abundance of possessions, and to beware of all kinds of greed. And then he told the people this parable:-

There once was a rich fool......

(enter woman, speaking in cockney accent)

Fool: You talkin’ bout me? Am oi bovvered? Do you really think ‘oim bovvered?

Narr: ...She was very rich

Fool: Look at my face, am oi bovvered

Narr…a rich fool, who came into even more wealth…

Fool: Dead rich  I am? Do you know ‘ow much I’m worth?

Go on guess! Guess ‘ow rich oi am!  ( directs question to member of congregation, planted there to guess how much)

You sir, guess, go on guess! (someone guesses and she looks offended) 

A’m worth a lot more than that! Oi’ve gots lowds o’ dosh!  All for me, to spend on whatever oi loike!

Narr: Then the fool said:-

Fool:   What am oi going to do with all ma money? What am oi gonna do wiv it? Is that what am askin’ myself…what am oi gonna do wiv it? Yeah!

Well there’s moi washing machine for a start, it's all bunged up, and the filter in moi tumbla drya is full up wiv fluff! A'm gonna get new ones.

An a’m desperate for a new dishwasha, fridge and cooka...mine are all filthy!

And I could do with an ‘ole new wardrobe! My over wardrobes are all full up!

And I need anovver new car…there’s very little petrol left in the ones in the

garage…Then there’s the ‘ouse of course…going to move into millionaire row!(speaks the last phrase in a very affected voice)

Narr: And may I ask…

Fool: (gets a shock) Aaaagh!

Narr: will you be giving any of your great wealth away?

Fool:  Guess! You guess! Go on guess if I am?

Narrator: I don’t like to!

Fool: No cos’ it’s none of your business it? See! But I will say this!

A’m gonna eat, drink and be merry for the rest of me life! See to number one! Have a good time oi will. You’ll see!

Narr: But God said:-

(microphone: booming voice if possible)

God: YOU FOOL, THIS VERY NIGHT YOUR LIFE WILL BE DEMANDED OF YOU,THEN WHO WILL GET WHAT YOU HAVE PREPARED FOR YOURSELF?

Fool: AAAAGH!

Am oi bovvered? Am oi bovvered. (looks very, very worried all of a sudden)

Yeah! Oi think aam very  bovvered right no! Aaagh(dies on the spot)

Narr: This is how it will be with anyone, who stores up good things for himself, but is not rich towards God!

Luke 12:16-21: says  “Take care be on your guard against all kinds of greed; for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of possessions.