051 - Chapter 51

(Illustrations: Stephen gets his Master's degree; Peter qualifies as a firefighter; our caravan in the Lakes; Stephen and Dionne's wedding)

Our youngest son is at present one of the Watch Managers at Byker Fire Station, with responsibilities covering the River Tyne too. He qualified as a firefighter in 2002 and we took my mam and Bob’s dad, along with us to the ceremony. Peter was presented with a special award for his ‘breathing apparatus’ skills, and we were all so very proud. He was eager to get going! 

On his very first day at the station, he heard the alarm go off and being so eager and excited, he leapt into action sliding quickly down the pole, so he could get his gear on and run to the engine. But when he got to the bottom, the crew were all waiting for him there with buckets of water ready to ‘baptise’ him into his new role; Peter got soaked. I would love to have seen that! He has loved the banter and camaraderie, and being part of a tight-knit team, ever since.

When I left full time teaching, it was a bit like that for me. I was leaping into the unknown too, from full-time teaching to whatever presented itself; from a full-time wage to support from a teacher’s pension, and I didn’t quite know at this point what to expect. I had served in the interregnum at St Mary Magdalene, when Revd John Sinclair had moved on, but when their new vicar was appointed, I applied to the Willington Team, and was accepted back in Wallsend, as a part-time non stipendiary priest. I was happy to be serving where we lived, rather than having to travel a few days a week to a church which was roughly twenty minutes away. I was licensed as assistant Curate in the Church of the Good Shepherd, on October15th. The welcome service was such a grand affair with many guests from other churches in the team, churches from different denominations in Wallsend and also representatives from schools within the parish. It felt so good to be back on home ground.

‘The Willington Team’ comprised:-Church of the Good Shepherd, (a L.E.P. Local Ecumenical Project church)St Mary’s Willington and St Paul’s Howdon, and I was to be based mainly at Church of the Good Shepherd: (COGS). My sister Joan was the team rector at the time at St Mary’s, so she was my director.

I flung myself happily into service here, there was lots for me to do, but still so much to learn. Part of my job description was to liaise with the schools in the area. This took the form of school assemblies, once a month at five different Primary schools and one high school, and this role was right up my street! I took my place in the ongoing parish work there; of preaching and presiding, pastoral visits; funerals, weddings and baptisms, and children’s outreach work in church. 

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and also Wednesday mornings were my specified days, which became for me a hive of activity.

Because I was part-time, the rest of the week plus Sunday afternoons were family time, but there was obviously flexibility too, and holidays.

Bob, having taken early retirement before I did, obviously wanted to spend more time with me, now that I was no longer a full-time teacher. Whilst on one of our holiday breaks, we pulled into a caravan site in the Lakes in our tourer, and saw on the other side of the wall a static caravan for sale at a very reasonable price. We had so much enjoyed our little touring caravan, but to have a static in situ with running water, loo and shower was perfect for us, and it would cut out the nuisance of storing the tourer, with all its packing and unpacking. The static became our bolthole, a place where we could both relax and make time to be together. The view down the valley into Keswick, surrounded by the fells was incredible.

Back and forth we swung from one place to another in a steady rhythm, and achieved a much better life/work balance. We had the best of both worlds, we were able to make more time for parents, and give them holidays in the caravan too.

Two other people were not only leaping into the unknown that year, but also into a wonderful future together.

In 2002 our oldest son was married to Dionne, from Holland, whom he met at Durham university, when she was there completing her degree, and when he was studying Civil Engineering. Dionne is everything we could have wished for in a daughter-in-law and as a wife for our son. They suit each other so well, and make a lovely couple.

Dionne had had work experience before coming to Durham university, and after her studies at university, she worked for a while in PR, first at Newcastle airport and then at at Durham university, where she is now, publicising university projects, handling the media, and supporting students and staff. 

Stephen, once he gained his master’s degree at university, went straight into work on a ‘university led’ computer scheme to do with architecture and building through innovation, this time at Newcastle University. The scheme became a firm known as NBS, and it has enjoyed much success since then. Stephen became their Creative director.

I can see why Stephen chose Dionne, she is intelligent, loving, compassionate, supportive, highly organised and efficient, admirable qualities. She is also fluent in other languages, French and German, and still does fundraising for charity, particularly the Rainbow Trust. She and Stephen shared a love of playing football, and they are both now long distance runners, taking part in marathons and half marathons; they’re both so fit. ‘Park runs’ are something their son and daughter have been involved in too. (but more about them later)

Just as we had lost Sarah to Maidenhead in the ‘south’ of England, so too in settling in Durham, Dionne’s Dutch parents, Henk and Hermine, now had a daughter who would be living at a distance from them too; but they are just as pleased as we are, with the love Stephen and Dionne have for one another, and how very happy and settled they are. This is what makes the distance between parents and offspring bearable. So ahead were journeys for us all if we all wanted to be visit our children, and for our children if they wanted to visit us.

The lesson here is: make the most of your children while you still have them with you, because once they fly the nest, the family dynamic is not quite the same anymore, nor should it be!

Stephen and Dionne were married by the Hatfield university chaplain, in a little chapel within the grounds of Hatfield College, a few yards away from where they first met. We, being the groom’s parents, had no planning to do this time, as Dionne arranged everything, along with Hermine of course once she arrived. Stephen and Dionne had a special request to make of me, which was to sing at their wedding, so I wrote a song especially for them, and based it upon one of the best-loved scriptures of all time, all about love which is perfect. (which is St Paul’s First Letter to the Corinthians, chapter 13). I called it ‘If I have not love’. Garth Hodgson, one of my friends from the Croxdale Folk Club, and a member then of a group called Minor Technicality, was happy to accompany me that day, on guitar.

If I have not love

Though I speak in tongues of angels,

And of men but have not love.

I will be a clanging cymbal,

I will be a sounding gong.

If I have not love.

If I have not love

If I have not love

I am nothing.

I may fathom every mystery

Always give a reason ‘why’

I may have the gift of ‘knowledge’

I may even prophesy… (chorus)

Though my faith can move a mountain,

Though I give my wealth away,

Lift my hands up in surrender

Give my body to the flames… (chorus)

Love is patient, love is kind.

Does not envy does not boast

It’s not proud , it is not rude

Doesn’t love itself the most

Love is not so quick to anger

Keeps no record of a wrong

It does not delight in evil

But in truth, bursts into song…

(chorus)

Love protects and trusts and hopes and

Perseveres and stays the same

Three things here will stay forever

There are three things that remain ~

Faith and Hope and Love forever

All are given from above

But the one beyond all others

And the greatest one of all ~ is Love.

©2002 Sheila Hamil

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kptoJIx3H7U&list=PLnUh_ZGnZNfUlV8HEyppRIv8FLBtyEY65&index=26

What a beautiful day it was, and it was so lovely to welcome Dionne into our family. Everything was so perfect, her dress and her bridesmaid’s, the huge Bianca roses she chose in burgundy and pink, and the reception which was held in the dining room at Hatfield College. There was a very unusual pyramid cake of chocolate profiteroles for their wedding cake, which looked very quirky and appetising. Peter was Stephen’s best man, and with the same powers of observation and humour as Bob’s, and as part of his speech, he pointed out a portrait in oils hanging on the wall, of a very distinguished looking gentleman, whose face happened to be the absolute double of Dionne’s father, Henk!  

It was a wonderful wedding weekend.