062 - Chapter 62

Chapter 62: Taking a Breather

(Illustration: Joan and I both having a laugh after her son’s wedding in Aviemore)

I loved my work inside, and outside, of the Willington Team, but especially in the church where I was based, but it was time to move on. I could have stayed and continued and worked alongside our next vicar but I really felt called to step out once more, free for a while from all duties and responsibilities, to trust in God to show me what He wanted me to do next! I was invited to continue doing just the school assemblies and drop other duties, but I reckoned the new vicar, when she arrived at COGS, would want to be involved herself, as the new ‘mother’ figure. Also, I was no longer really needed, as the Willington Team had enough priests for two churches, as St Paul’s was closing. Bob and I began to look around for a new spiritual base elsewhere, outside of Wallsend, and to pray where God would lead us next.

After consultation with the bishop and with the Team Rector, a final date for leaving was arranged, a farewell party was arranged by the folks at COGS. I also said goodbye to the schoolchildren in each of their assemblies, and received beautiful cards from them, which I still treasure. But for now, it was a time of rest and relaxation with my family. I was exhausted, and needed to recharge my batteries!

I began asking myself had I been putting the needs of everyone else before Bob and my family? I had tried my best to achieve a good balance between work and home, but had I got it right, and could I have given my own family more quality time? Many of us can get our priorities wrong, when there are demands on our time. Some of us never learn, and those family years can’t be re-lived. This was a lesson someone else was about to learn too.

My husband Bob, has a wonderful connection with his former pupils, through Facebook, just as I do, and he once read a post written by one of them, who worked as an engineer in the Merchant Navy, and was away for months at a time, while his baby son was growing up without him there., and now his wife was pregnant again.

‘It’s with a heavy heart that I’ve packed my bags,” this young man had written, “and am about to leave my lush little family again for three months. I’ve been with my son every day this leave, and it’s breaking my heart to leave him just before his first proper Christmas, however his first Christmas would be canny s—t with nowt to open, so I’ve got to go and earn some money!”

Later on, the same person, wrote that he was trying to decide whether or not to accept yet another job, with a better salary at sea or apply for a land job.

So my husband wrote this message to him, and he attached a video of my song ‘Make time for love’:

Dear M . . . , Bob wrote,

“I don’t usually do this kind of thing, but I thought this might be appropriate when making your job decision. My wife, who has led a very busy life, wrote this song. Many of us see our own lives reflected in it. As you were saying you can’t get the years back. If you think I’m ‘out of order’ please ignore this message, all the best Bob.”

(He then sent my song to him: Make time for love.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jCL6KSsv70...

And M . . . wrote back,

“Bob, I don’t know what to say, I’ve been moved to tears mate. Thank you, I’ve actually made my decision, it was one that was super easy to make. I missed almost all of my son’s baby life, and cannot repeat that in the toddling years. The first line of that song about counting waves . . .is so apt. As a sailor, I often sat on the deck, looking out to sea, thinking of home. Beautiful Bob, and very thoughtful.”

On leaving the Willington Team, I began to ‘make time for love’, living a far more relaxed life, not scurrying around. I made more time for those closest to me, and also prayed that God would help me to rediscover what it meant to be an 'evangelist' priest, rather than a curate in a parish. I would now wait upon Him and pray, until all became clear. Like that famous quote by Nelson Mandela in the film ‘Invictus’, I was now the master of my fate, and captain of my soul!

Bob and I took my mother down to Maidenhead, to enjoy a week with Sarah and her family; and she absolutely loved a day out on a friend’s boat on the Thames. We travelled to Windsor, with a glass of Pimm’s in our hands, and later had lunch on board beside Windsor Castle. She even got a chance to steer the boat herself; mind you Tim, the owner of the boat, kept a close eye on her!

She also came on holiday again with us to our caravan at the Lakes. She loved being there with us, it always reminded her of her own happy holidays in a caravan with dad, when we were young. 

I remember the day we were at the Rydal sheepdog trials, and an elderly man, dressed in rough clothes stood right behind us, commenting on the proceedings. He sounded very knowledgeable, and chatted freely with us, especially with my mam. After he left, we, with eyebrows raised, and suspicious smiles wondered whether he really did know what he was talking about. Five minutes later his name was announced as the top sheep handler in the Lakes, (he’d even appeared on BBC) and he walked proudly into the ring with his dogs to take his place in the competition. You could say we felt rather sheepish for doubting him.

The entire family went up to Scotland in July of 2006, for the wedding of my nephew Graham, my sister Joan’s son, and we had such a happy time in Aviemore, with a beautiful reception, followed by fun and games by one of the lochs there. The photo shows Joan and I sharing a joke and you can see just how relaxed and happy we were! It’s my favourite photo of the two of us, Joan's too. The wedding was great fun, and very colourful with kilts galore, because Catherine, Graham’s bride and family are Scottish. Our niece Joanne, Graham’s sister, was pregnant then, and soon afterwards, she and her husband David, were safely delivered of a daughter, Annabel, in August of that year. Joan and Alan were so relieved and delighted.

From Aviemore, Bob and I went up to Mull, and then to Iona for a holiday break. We visited St Columba’s beach, the site where he once landed when exiled from Ireland, and there we sat on the stony beach and had a prayer time; for our family, for the church we had left behind, for the one we would find ourselves in, and for guidance for the future. We selected pebbles from the many that were there to build small mounds for each prayer.

After Scotland, we came down to our caravan in the Lakes again, and we attended the Keswick Convention, just drinking in the atmosphere, singing hymns and listening to some excellent speakers in their large marquee. One young speaker in particular stood out for me. Her name was Amy Orr-Ewing who spoke on her latest book ‘Why Trust the Bible’, asking whether the biblical manuscripts, and the content contained within them, were actually reliable, and whether they could stand up to scrutiny. It was a fascinating lecture. What a wonderful couple of months Bob and I had in each other’s company.

I haven’t mentioned that I had already produced two solo albums ‘Giving It All To You’ and ‘Called to Serve’, but I decided to produce a third one around this time, with the help of my friend from the folk club in Durham, Garth Hodson. I called it ‘If I have not love, I am nothing.’