I know the rumors about me flipping out of my kayak yesterday are beginning to swirl. I want to set the record straight. As you may be aware the Tidewater Dr street bridge is quite low to the water. In addition the tide was very high. As I approached the bridge I wondered if someone had checked the bridge supports lately so I jumped out of my boat to check things out. Be assured, after my thorough inspection the bridge is very sound. Now being in the water I thought I would demonstrate deep water rescue techniques for the group. I did this all as a public service.
That is my story.
Ellis
Now, here's the real story...the truth is out there...
Ellis' story is true to a point--that is, the bridge was low, the water high and he turned over. The rest of his story is pure fiction. He created that fabrication to spare you the actual terrifying details of what transpired that day. My boat was right next to his so I saw what actually happened. I had a front row seat to the true horrors of what occurred. Ellis was very lucky that day. Without our quick action to perform a successful rescue, we might never have seen Ellis again...
Subsequent to what I alone observed during our paddle rescue last Tuesday and the events that occurred, I made some very discrete inquiries making use of connections I have made over the years. I called in a few favors and learned the truth of what really happened that day. I suspect none of you are at all aware of the "Calamari Project", a somewhat veiled research endeavor carried out as a partnership between the Virginia Aquarium and the Virginia Zoo. In an attempt to study the relationship between global warming, sea level rise and the overall impact on deep sea creatures, this collaboration began several years ago as a simple laboratory experiment. All went well, until something went horribly wrong and one of their test subjects escaped! Despite their best efforts, the scientists were unable to recapture the creature, Architeuthis dux, commonly known as the Giant Squid. The beast has been loose in the Lafayette River since mid-July wreaking havoc on local wildlife, fisherman and yard art.
Ellis was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time when his kayak collided with the behemoth as it cat-napped under the bridge. Enraged at being awakened (and bonked on the head), the squid instinctively reacted by grasping the stern of the kayak and flipping it over. (I imagine Ellis did a really good scrub job on his boat when he got home but I'm sure that if you look closely you will be able to see shadows of the suction cup marks left by the tentacles.) Normally a quiet and timid beast, the squid immediately sped away as the Tuesday Group converged on the area to perform our rescue. Only I saw what truly occurred. Ellis lost his glasses when he went over and could only see a shadowy image beneath the water's surface. I suppressed my terror and panic and focused on the job at hand. Not knowing if the monster would return I concentrated on getting Ellis back in his boat. This was accomplished though to my horror, Ellis had a single red suction cup imprint on his back-made visible only for a second when his shirt rode up as he got back into the boat!
My sources tell me that the leviathan was last seen heading out to sea. The Calamari Project has since been terminated and despite your best efforts, you will never be able to find any information about this study.
Phyllis
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Steve and Stephanie planned this trip but had a medical excuse. Ellis and Phyllis led the group. The trip included kayak rescue training.
https://photos.app.goo.gl/x7rTcFrEy9uLngYe8
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Ellis/Phyllis - Pictures from yesterday's paddle. Did not include any pics of your kayak overturn Ellis.
Bob M