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Politics
Are you poiltically correct ? See below.....
Liberals Believe...
The BIll of Rights by Mitchell Kaye
Liberals Believe...
LLiberals believe that AIDS is spread from a lack of federal funding
Liberals believe that a school teacher that can't teach 4th grade can teach sex education
Liberals believe that guns in the hands of law abiding citizens are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of communist China
Liberals believe that there is no art before federal funding
Liberals believe gender roles are artificial but homosexuality is natural
Liberals believe capital punishment is wrong while abortion is not
Liberals believe business creates poverty while big government creates prosperity
Liberals believe self esteem is more important than doing something to earn it
Liberals believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the constitution while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the constitution
Liberals believe that taxes are too low while ATM fees are too high
Liberals believe that conservatives telling the truth belong in jail but
liberals that are liars and sex offenders belong in the white house
Liberals believe gay pride parades should be constitutionally protected but the 10 commandments and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal
Bad American
Bad American by George Carlin
Well....make your own judgment!
I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American.
I am George Carlin.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not
some midlevel governmental functionary with a bad comb-over
who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.
I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!
I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne,
Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang.
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.
I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.
I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do
it in English.
I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for
unpopular opinions or actions.
I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more
enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents
are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college,
you haven't begun to be enlightened.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or
gods, just leave the rest of us out of it. This also applies to sexuality.
My heroes are John Wayne, the Simpsons, and whoever canceled
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing
about it.
I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those
experts now, when I am freezing my ass through a long winter?
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty
years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven't burned any
witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so
shut-the-#$%!-up already.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend
Jesse Jackson preaches. And where does he get his money. And why is he
always part of the problem and not the solution.
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're
running from them. I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you
are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I
don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation the
world for the next four years.
I hate those bastards standing in the intersections trying to
sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause.
These people should be targets. I think if you are in the passing lane,
and not passing, your license should be revoked, and you should be
forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again.
I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes
two parents.
I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but
please don't pretend they are a political statement.
I think Dr. Seuss was a genius.
I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how
desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.
I believe if she has her lips on your willie, it is sex, and it is sex
for both of you. This even applies when you are President of the
United States.
If that makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
If you too are a BAD American please forward this to everyone you know.
We need our country back!
The BIll of Rights by Mitchell Kaye
The following was written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA:
"We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help
everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more
riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the
blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our
great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and
establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt
ridden, deluded, and other liberal bed-wetters.
We hold these truths to be self-evident: That a whole lot of people are
confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill
of No Rights."
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any
other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them,
but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country
is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you!
You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion,
etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you
stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect
the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently
wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing.
Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly
help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing
generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve
nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional
couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be
nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in
public health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people.
If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be
surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If
you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens,
don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a
place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a
life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our children risk
their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate
oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to
fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world
and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every
little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want all
of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we
expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and
vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American
means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which, by the way,
is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic
laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
If you agree, we strongly urge you to forward this to as many people as
you can. No, you don't have to, and nothing tragic will befall you
should you not forward it. We just think it is about time common sense
is allowed to flourish - call it the age of reason revisited.
Cowgill Net Jeffrey Cowgill 2010 Contact