Confirmation

We can ask someone if they have been heard, understood or empathized with. They can say 'yes' or 'no' or say the degree that they have been 'heard'.

Every time we ask if they have been heard, that is a measurement.

Others can tell us if they have felt heard and empathized with.

(Expert from Carl Rogers Empathic: An Unappreciated Way of Being)

"Clients are better judges of the degree of empathy than are therapists.

Perhaps then it is not too surprising that therapists prove to be rather inaccurate in assessing their own degree of empathy in a relationship. The client's perception of this quality agrees rather well with that of unbiased judges listening to the recordings, but the agreement between clients and therapists, or judges and therapists, is low (Rogers, Gendlin, Kiesier and Truax, 1967, Chs. 5, 8). Perhaps, if we wish to become better therapists, we should let our clients tell us whether we are understanding them accurately!"