CRITICIZING
"Criticizing: Although at times some criticism can be justified, in the long run it is better to avoid. It usually produces negative feelings and defensiveness."
Reflective Listening, 1994 Neil Katz and Kevin McNulty
"Evaluating/Judging
2. Criticizing/Blaming.
Make the the person feel stupid, outcast, or foolish. (Stereotyping or categorizing.)
You're out of line
You didn't do it right.
That's a stupid thing to say!
You are a fuzzy thinker
You're talking like an engineer.
You really goofed on this one.
That was a dumb thing to do.
It's your fault"
"a listening, empathic approach leads
to improved communication,
to greater acceptance of others and by others, and
to attitudes which are more positive and more problem-solving in nature.
There is a decrease
in defensiveness,
in exaggerated statements,
in evaluative and critical behavior."
Carl Rogers