CRITICIZING

"Criticizing: Although at times some criticism can be justified, in the long run it is better to avoid. It usually produces negative feelings and defensiveness."

Reflective Listening, 1994 Neil Katz and Kevin McNulty

"Evaluating/Judging

2. Criticizing/Blaming.

Make the the person feel stupid, outcast, or foolish. (Stereotyping or categorizing.)

  • You're out of line

  • You didn't do it right.

  • That's a stupid thing to say!

  • You are a fuzzy thinker

  • You're talking like an engineer.

  • You really goofed on this one.

  • That was a dumb thing to do.

  • It's your fault"

"a listening, empathic approach leads

to improved communication,

to greater acceptance of others and by others, and

to attitudes which are more positive and more problem-solving in nature.

There is a decrease

in defensiveness,

in exaggerated statements,

in evaluative and critical behavior."

Carl Rogers