Fixing

The Power of Empathy: Feel It (Don’t Fix It)

by Oren Jay Sofer

March 7, 2018

"So as you go about your week, I invite you to creating some more space for emotions in your life. Don’t be so quick to fix things. Listen a while. Let yourself feel what’s happening, and see what it has to teach you."

"If you think ahead to what to say next – like how to fix it or make the person feel better – BOOM! Off the board. You’re into the future. Empathy requires staying with the energy that’s here right now. Not using any technique. Just being present. When I have really connected to this energy, it’s like I wasn’t there. I call this “watching the magic show.” In this presence, a very precious energy works through us that can heal anything, and this relieves me from my “fix-it” tendencies. - from “Surfing Life Energy and Watching the Magic Show,” Marshall Rosenberg

What Empathy Isn't - Marshall Rosenberg Compassionate Communication

Empathy, give the full attention to someone. Give full presence.

Blocks

• • Intellectual understanding - get this at university -i.e. theories and ideas. This blocks connecting to the felt experience of the person in the moment.

  • I understand how your feel - but they really don't understand. instead demonstrate understanding.

  • Sympathy - Feeling sad for someone. we are talking about ourselves.

• Fixing - (stimulates loneliness)

  • Giving Advice - (stimulates loneliness)