Judging

JUDGING

Distinguish Value Judgments and Moralistic Judgments.

Moralistic Judgments

  • Good v. Evil

  • Good/Bad

  • Right/Wrong

  • Rightness/Wrongness

  • Either/Or Binary Thinking

"Blame, insults, put-downs, labels, criticism, comparisons, and diagnoses are all forms of judgment." (Marshall Rosenberg)

Value Judgments

value one felt experience over another.

  • oranges over apples

  • Value fairness

  • Value justice

  • Value creativity

There are a wide variety of Judgement. About who we listen to and who will be heard.

  • Gender

  • Generation - Age

  • Education level

  • Nationality or Ethnicity

  • Black, White, Asian,

"Evaluating and Judging

is changing the focus of the conversation by shifting it from the other's concerns to your own diagnosis, interpretation, judgement, or praising of the other person or agreement or disagreement with him or her. The subtle message is sent in this category is "There is something the matter with you." "

Reflective Listening, 1994 Neil Katz and Kevin McNulty

"By taking the focus off the other, height risk responses are very likely to:

  • derail the conversation

  • Block the other person from finding the solution to his or her problems

  • Lower the the person's self-esteem

  • Distance you from the other

  • Diminish the other person's motivation and initiative."

Reflective Listening, 1994 Neil Katz and Kevin McNulty

References

Marshall Rosenberg, What is nonviolent communication? p 6.