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People will say, "I understand." maybe they do,
 maybe not. Instead of saying you understand, Demonstrate it.

What Empathy Isn't - Marshall Rosenberg Compassionate Communication
Empathy, give the full attention to someone. Give full presence. 

YouTube Video

  • Intellectual understanding - get this at university -i.e. theories and ideas. This blocks connecting to the felt experience of the person in the moment. 
  • I understand how your feel - but they really don't understand. instead demonstrate understanding. 
  • Sympathy - Feeling sad for someone. we are talking about ourselves. 
  • Fixing - (stimulates loneliness) 
  • Giving Advice - (stimulates loneliness) 

4. Understanding
Trying to prove to the person that you understand by telling him or her directly, rather than by listening.
  • I understand
  • I total grasp what you are saying.
  • I know just how your're feeling"